Chapter 22
Bingley had an enormous headache as he got up. He could not recall how he had come to sleep in his study. His back felt stiff as he tried to get up from the couch and stretched, eyes still partially closed against the sunlight filtering through a tiny gap in the curtains.
As he moved to ring for a servant, his feet jammed against something; finally opening his eyes, he looked around and gasped.
The whole room was in disarray, with books and ledgers strewn everywhere.
It seemed as if a hurricane had hit the whole place, for the liquor cabinet was ajar and tilted awkwardly with shards of glass lying all around.
Footstools and chairs lay haphazardly with some of them missing a leg or an arm.
He sat back down with a thud, holding his head in his hand and shouted his valet’s name.
The man in question seemed to have been waiting for his summons, for he entered immediately.
“Wilkins, how is it that I am here? What is going on?” Bingley floundered as he gestured towards the chaotic mess.
“Sir, I am sorry but when I came to your room this morning you were not there. One of the maids who came to clean the study was quite shocked at its state and immediately got Mrs. Nicholls. It was she who realised that you were sleeping on the couch and since we did not want to disturb you, we waited to clean the place.”
“What time is it?”
“Ten minutes past three, Sir.”
“What! You mean to tell me that I have slept the whole day. Where is Darcy? I cannot believe I have given him another reason to disapprove of me.” Bingley muttered the last part to himself.
“Mr. Darcy left last night, Sir. Very much in a hurry, from what I understand,” Wilkins replied.
“Darcy has left?” Bingley repeated with a frown and then slowly some images of their argument started coming back to him. Guilt coursed through him as he recalled how he had called Darcy an unfeeling monster and asked him to leave.
“I do not think I am well, Wilkins, I will go up to my chambers. For the rest of the day, I am not at home to anyone,” Bingley said as he slowly walked out of the study and climbed up to his chambers.
Once he was alone, he started recalling the events of last night and slowly everything started coming back with clarity.
The idea that he had thrown Darcy out of his house was too nonsensical for him to grasp.
He had probably engineered his own ruin.
People in town might have preferred his company over Darcy, for his cheerfulness and amiability, but no one he knew would ever dare antagonise Darcy.
His membership of White’s and his popularity among the ton had all been because of Darcy.
His ruin in society was complete. Then there was Jane; she had wanted a double wedding with Elizabeth and Darcy but with Darcy now gone there would be no engagement let alone a wedding.
If Jane ever discovered what he had done, he was too scared to even think about how she would react.
He thought of Caroline; while Jane would be devastated, Caroline would be enraged and would surely kill him with her bare hands.
He ended up spending the whole day alone in his chambers with these thoughts circling in his head.
Two days later, Bingley finally decided to visit Longbourn and see for himself if he was still welcome. He was greeted by a very worried Jane who directly asked him to accompany her for a walk.
“Charles, do you have any idea why Mr. Darcy may have left so suddenly?” she asked without preamble.
“Ah, I, no, that is to say I had retired.” Bingley stammered.
“He did not tell you that he was leaving, that is surprising for he did come here to take his leave of Papa.” Jane frowned.
“Did he only speak to Mr. Bennet?” Bingley asked, trying to understand everything.
“Yes, he had asked to see Lizzy, but Papa declined as it was too late then somehow he met Lydia, who God only knows how, convinced him to write a letter to Elizabeth to reassure her in his absence.” Jane said, as she threw her arms up in the air.
At that precise moment there was a loud noise and Mrs. Bennet could be heard shouting from inside the house.
Jane grasped his hand and pulled him towards the back of the house while she signaled him to keep quiet.
“I just did not want Mama to hear you,” Jane said as she let go of his hand.
“But why?”
“Well, as I was saying Mr. Darcy wrote Lizzy a letter and entrusted Lydia to pass it on to her. Whatever he wrote could hardly have been reassuring, for Lizzy has been miserable, just sobbing quietly when she thinks no one is watching. I am convinced that he has given up on their courtship, but that is neither here nor there. Lydia being Lydia blurted out at the dinner table that she had hoped the letter would cheer her up,” Jane stopped speaking and looked around to check that no one was hearing, then continued.
“It seems that it had completely escaped Mama’s notice that Mr. Darcy had been courting Lizzy.
How that could be I have no idea for all her life all she has cared about are suitors for her daughters.
But now that she knows about it and about Papa’s strictures, she had been alternatively wailing at him and complaining of her nerves.
Lizzy also seems to have abandoned all pretence of normalcy and has not come down since yesterday.
She has hardly eaten anything. Then there is Papa who is completely ensconced in his study even having his meals there.
I tried to speak to them both, but Papa is sure Mr. Darcy will come back sooner or later and Lizzy also repeats the same, but neither would tell me anything else. ”
“I am sorry, Jane; I will not be much help to you as I have no idea what happened. Darcy left in the middle of the night. I only became aware of it the next morning. I have been trying to make sense of things since then.” Bingley replied, relieved that Jane did not seem to have any idea regarding his disagreement with Darcy.
“Maybe you can write to him?” Jane asked hopefully.
“Of course, I will send him a letter and I am sure he will be back for Miss Elizabeth at the earliest,” Bingley responded, thinking that he should probably write to Darcy anyway with an apology.
The rest of the week, Bingley kept thinking about his apology to Darcy and wrote multiple letters but was too cowardly to actually send them.
Whenever Jane questioned him, he would just respond that he had not heard from Darcy at all, which he thought was true, in a way.
He was sure Elizabeth was aware of everything for she seemed determined to avoid his company, to the extent that one morning she had been returning from a walk and upon seeing him at the Longbourn entrance had turned and walked back.
Thinking that he should probably be grateful she had not mentioned anything to Jane, he had left her alone.
Mr. Bennet was another matter, he seemed determined to talk to Bingley every time he visited and somehow his innocuous questions seemed to make Bingley nervous.
“Did you not say that Darcy is very fastidious?” he had suddenly asked.
“Yes, he is and expects impeccable behaviour from everyone around him.” Bingley had responded.
“I am just surprised at his capitulation to Lydia, for she is hardly a model for proper behaviour." Mr. Bennet had responded sardonically and then left the room.
Then there had been another time when Mr. Bennet, seeing him, had commented that “If Darcy so liked to have his own way it was rather astonishing that he was so taken with Elizabeth who could be quite impertinent and contrary.”
“I am sure I could not answer.” Bingley had responded.
“But you have been friends for some years now, you must have met other ladies who would have charmed him in the past,” Mr. Bennet had persisted.
“Darcy has been known for being hard to please. No woman that I know of has ever appealed to him.” Bingley had quickly responded. This seemed to have satisfied the older man who again busied himself with the book that he had been reading.
The worst of the interrogation happened when one morning a fortnight after Darcy’s departure Bingley came to Longbourn as was his usual practice but was told by Mrs. Hill that Mr. Bennet had asked for him in the study.
“You wanted to speak to me, Sir?” Bingley said as a way of greeting.
“Yes, yes, you see Jane had mentioned that she wanted to wait and have a double wedding with Lizzy and Mr. Darcy but since Mr. Darcy has absconded, maybe you should convince Jane to set a date.”
“I, I do not know. Is Darcy not coming back? I thought Jane mentioned that Miss Elizabeth still corresponds with Miss Darcy.”
“What would a girl of sixteen know about her grown brother’s plan?
She seems to esteem him to an unhealthy level.
No, no I am convinced he is gone but I am worried about Lizzy.
She is too despondent, maybe once you and Jane marry, she could accompany you to town.
You may then take her to meet Darcy,” Mr. Bennet said.
“I, I am not sure. He has not written to me at all,” Bingley stammered, trying to think on how to answer Mr. Bennet.
“Mr. Bingley, while Jane may have the habit of finding the good in everybody, I assure you I do not suffer the same malady. The way Darcy left Meryton and your behaviour from then on has made it clear that there was some disagreement between the two of you and I suggest that you be honest with my daughter about what has happened.”
Bingley was surprised by this steely edge in the normally indifferent Mr. Bennet. Before he could respond, there was a gentle knock on the door and Jane entered.
“You had called for me, Papa,” she asked, surprised to see Bingley with him.
“Mr. Bingley wants to tell you something, Jane,” Mr. Bennet said with a pointed look at him.
Bingley, who had always preferred to avoid any kind of discord, found himself unequal to facing this determined father.
Finally in a faltering speech he confessed to all that had happened.
Jane, who had been unprepared for such insensitivity from the man she had thought she loved deeply, was shocked and could not speak for a long time.
When she finally spoke, it was in a steely whisper.
“I told you that I wanted to care for my sister, who has always been my best friend. I did not wish to start a new life when hers was in such disarray. The sister who stood by me when you had abandoned me and who I am now sure knows of your duplicity but has hidden it for my sake, suffering in silence.” She took a long deep breath and continued.
“You claimed to love me, but you only love yourself. If you want to know what true love looks like you should look at Mr. Darcy. I cannot believe that I doubted his steadfastness thinking that he had forsaken Lizzy.” Then she walked towards Bingley and standing close to him spoke almost in a whisper.
“How could you think that I would even consider marrying a man who has deliberately brought such anguish to my dearest sister. I do not ever want to be in the same room as you Mr. Bingley.” With that Jane walked away.