Chapter 4
Ava
Who the fuck did he think he was calling me that?
He had no right, especially on the first day of us meeting.
He was cocky. He was arrogant. And he was egocentric.
Did he not realize how mean it was to ridicule someone based on their height?
Were we literally living with a guy who was a “mean girl”?
“Hey.”
A voice came up behind me as I gripped the counter with white knuckles. As I let go, I turned around to see eyes like mine looking at me with concern.
“Everything OK?” Becca asked. As she said that, we looked at the table. Macie, Ty, and the asshole were deep in conversation, all three laughing about something.
I didn’t know why but that pissed me off. So much. Seeing them enjoying each other, having fun, grated on me. But I didn’t want anyone to know that, especially him.
“Yeah, just not really hungry right now.” I backed away from her. “I’m tired, I’m gonna head upstairs.”
She nodded but I knew she didn’t believe me. I also knew she wouldn’t stop me.
Once in my room, I dialed my mom.
“Hey, baby, what do I owe the honor of a call so soon?”
I loved my mom so much. We had a great relationship. She knew, most times before I did what was wrong in my life and in my head. It was only me, her, and my sister Amelia. She left our dad when we were little and never looked back.
“Just wanted to hear your voice,” I told her.
Then I went silent, hoping she would fill the silence, which she did.
She filled it with stories of her and Amelia’s day, and how they went shopping to get her ready for her senior year of high school, what they were having for dinner, how they had snow the day before. And so on and so on.
She always knew what I needed.
“Have you gotten all your books for your classes yet, Ava?” She was making small talk now, to distract me.
“I haven’t. A lot of the professors tell us to wait, sometimes we don’t need the books. So I’ll see what they say once I go to each class over the first week.”
Then I remained quiet. We both did.
“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about, sweetie?” she asked.
Should I? Should I tell her what was going through my head?
“No, I’m OK. Just missing you and Amelia. It’s always hard when I first come back, you know that.”
I heard a small sound of acknowledgment from her over the phone line.
“You know I’m always only a phone call away. But I do need to go. Amelia has practice tonight, and I still need to feed us. Call me later if you want to talk, OK, babe?”
“OK, Mom, love you.”
“Love you, too, angel.”
I heard the line disconnect.
I threw my head back against my pillow and looked up at the ceiling as I heard the voices from downstairs carry all the way up to my room. The laughter, I should say. They were having fun. Without me.
It wasn’t so much FOMO I was experiencing. Rather, I wanted to return to prove that I wasn’t running away from the situation. That I wasn’t weak. That the asshole giving me a condescending nickname wasn’t going to make me hide in my bedroom.
Even though that was exactly what I was doing.
So up I got and down I went. Strolling into the kitchen, I pulled open the refrigerator and got myself a beer. I don’t know what made me do it. I hadn’t set out to drink today, and not everyone was. Macie and Becca were drinking earlier, when the guys were out back.
But I grabbed a beer. And made my way to the table, pulled out a chair right next to Logan, sat down, and plopped my bottle on the table in front of me.
It was quite the entrance. So much so that everyone stopped talking. Ty was the first to say something.
“Want anything to eat?”
I didn’t answer right away. Instead, I grabbed my beer and took a long chug of the cold liquid. I knew I was being a bitch.
A true bitch.
But I didn’t care. He started this feud between us. He just didn’t know how well I was at fighting back.
Once I swallowed, I held my beer up against my lips and turned my attention to Ty.
“I’m good, this’ll do.” I held up the bottle and gestured to my drink. I then looked at Logan, a small smile on my lips.
The table remained awkwardly…quiet.
“Don’t let me interrupt the party.” I leaned back in my chair, staring boldly at my roommates. It was then I noticed there were only sodas and waters on the table.
Tough shit. I lived here, too.
“Ava,” Macie whispered.
“She’s right,” Logan chimed in. “The more the merrier, and now that Tink has joined us, it’s the whole damn family down here, isn’t it?”
My eyes stayed glued to the table in front of me, refusing to look at him, as I gripped the glass bottle tighter in my hand. I struggled to not lose my shit at the mention of his ridiculous nickname for me. Two could play at that game.
“Well, Tank over here is right,” I said, gesturing toward Logan with the bottle. “We are one big happy family now, aren’t we? Living all together, eating all together. It can’t get any more fucking Norman Rockwell than this, can it?”
Everyone’s reaction at the table was the same.
They were silent as their eyes went wide and round.
All of them except Logan. His look was indifferent.
It wasn’t the smug smile I expected, rather his eyes probed mine as if trying to discern where my remark had come from.
And I didn’t like his prying eyes. So I got up from the table, the chair legs screeching along the tiles.
It announced my departure a bit louder than I intended.
Becca and Macie shared a look as I walked away from the table and headed toward the stairs. I could hear the whispers between all of them, but I didn’t care.
I agreed to live with the guy, but I never agreed to like him. We could live in the same house and not have to see each other much. Maybe our schedules would conflict enough that we would miss each other. Regardless, no one would force me to like him.
No one.
And no sooner had I planted my ass on my bed, there was a knock on my door.
“Go away,” I said loud enough for whomever it was to hear.
“I’m not going away,” Becca said as she barged in, which didn’t surprise me. “And you would do the same for me, so shut up.”
She sat at the foot of my bed, pulling a leg up, her knee under her chin.
She proceeded to stare at me as if I was going to supply her with information about what was going on in my head.
Instead, I picked up my phone and started scrolling through my social media. The sigh she let out made me chuckle.
“Ava, you really think this is funny?”
She stood and came around to the other side of my bed, getting in next to me.
We were face to face and I was tempted to turn over, but Becca wasn’t who I was mad at.
I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I also didn’t want to talk about it.
I also knew she wasn’t about to leave without that happening.
“No, there’s nothing funny about any of this, actually.” I maintained eye contact with her to let her know how serious I was. “He’s being a dick to me, Bec. And we have to live together.”
Her striking green eyes stared back at me as she considered my words.
“How exactly is he being a dick to you, Ava?”
“You don’t think calling me ‘Tink’ is cruel?”
She rolled onto her back, looking at the ceiling. She stayed quiet for so long I thought she might just get up and leave, but then she turned toward me.
“Ava, you know I love ya like a sister. I mean, we’re a lot alike, ya know, with our snarky attitude and all that. Some can’t handle chicks like us. So you have to know, that if I’m saying this, well…” She kind of trailed off, unsure of how to go on.
“Say what you have to say, Becca.”
“OK, I’ll say it,” she said as she stood from the bed.
“You’ve been a bitch to him today. I mean, when I came downstairs with him before, the very first time you two were meeting, he tried to introduce himself to you, and you completely ignored him.
Do you know how hard that was for him to do?
I had to almost drag him from his room, he was so nervous, and you acted like that!
You wouldn’t even get off the couch or look up from your phone. What the hell was that?”
“I looked at him,” I countered with a meek voice. “And got up.”
Becca’s hands went to her hips, the anger flaring more as she tried to gain some control. I needed to be careful; pushing Becca away was not what I wanted to do. Sitting up, I looked her square in the eyes, hoping she would see something in them.
My distress, without having to vocalize it.
But I’m not sure she did. I understood. Logan was her friend first, long before me. She was looking out for him.
I had to look out for myself.
“Yeah,” Becca said, “right before you sat your ass back down and completely ignored him. And then at the table just now, why? Listen, we all talked back in the fall, made sure that everyone was OK with Logan moving in, and you were. It wouldn’t be fair if you’ve gone and changed your mind now, Ava, not fair to him at all. ”
Leaning forward, I wrapped my arms around my legs and laid my forehead against my knees. She wouldn’t understand if I told her everything right now. No, she would. I just didn’t want to tell her everything right now. Instead, I would lie.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”