Chapter Twenty
Carly
I can hear the giggles from all the way in the back of the bus. Clearly, my teammates are having a great time with the only male member of our team. The guy whom they basically kidnapped from my seat.
I can’t really be mad, though. All the girls at school drool over Ryder, and he’s been such a great addition to our team.
So of course my teammates want to hang out with him.
I guess I’m just annoyed because he and I…
well, we were having a good conversation and I didn’t want to gauge his eyes out.
Couldn’t my teammates have noticed that and left us alone?
Fine, maybe the reason I’m grumpy is because he allowed them to whisk him away. He didn’t tell them to let him go or put up a fight. Which means he wants to be with them right now. Not here with me in my seat.
I grumble to myself as I rest my head on the window.
Why do I care? My life was fine before he crashed into it.
Can’t I just continue on as though he doesn’t matter that much to me?
Just as a teammate, of course, because every member of the team is valuable.
I would never treat him as though he’s invisible.
I don’t hear Ryder laughing with them. Maybe that’s because they’re drowning out his voice. Or could it be because he’s not laughing? Not having fun with them?
Yeah, right. What guy wouldn’t love all that attention from girls?
Ugh, why does he occupy so much space in my brain? I should squeeze myself with Naya and Addie so I can forget all about him and his giggling fans.
Someone plops down next to me. His scent tickles my nose immediately, causing my head to snap in his direction.
“I’m back,” he says with that lazy grin.
I just gape at him, the image of him sitting beside me not entering my brain. Am I hallucinating? How is he here when he was just there?
“Um, Carly?”
I shake my head, snapping out of it. “How did you get here?” I blurt.
“With the human function called two legs.”
“No, I mean…” I look behind me toward the back of the bus. Most of the girls are chatting or laughing amongst themselves, but a few are staring after Ryder with confusion and hurt. And maybe jealousy aimed at me?
“It was too crowded there,” he says.
My eyes trek back to him and I once again just gape at him, still in total shock that he’s here and not there.
The expression on his face shifts to something more serious as he leans forward to whisper, “Okay, I’m not being honest. The truth is that I returned here because I wanted to.”
“Wanted to…what?” I ask.
His brows dip. “What?”
“You didn’t finish your sentence. You returned to my seat because you wanted to…what? Go over some of the harder moves of the routine? Annoy me? Steal my chocolate? Don’t even think about it, mister. The chocolate is only for me.”
He stares at me for a few seconds before chuckling softly. “Sometimes I wonder if we speak the same language. That was the end of my sentence, Captain. I returned here because I wanted to . Period. End of sentence.”
My cheeks heat up so fast I wonder if my face will combust. “Oh, duh.” I look at the back of the bus. “Are you sure you made the right decision? Because I’m sure it’s more fun over there than it is here.”
“I made the right decision.”
I slowly turn my head back to his, the heat now traveling to my neck. He once again has a serious look on his face. So now the big question is…why does he think he’ll have more fun with me than with those other girls?
“Though now that you mentioned you have chocolate, I have another reason to be here.”
I grab my backpack and squeeze it tightly to my chest. “Don’t you dare.”
He shakes his head, hiding a smile. “You’re such a mean captain.”
“Don’t mess with a girl and her chocolate.”
“Noted.”
We sit in silence. My shoe taps on the floor of the bus with every passing second. Why are my anxiety levels rising?
“Maybe a small piece,” I say as I unzip my backpack and shove my hand inside. Once my fingers close over the chocolate bar, I dig it out and realize that my hand is shaky.
“Wow, you must be super nervous about the performance,” he says, eyes pinned on my quaking hand.
“Yeah, the performance,” I say as I tear the wrapper and break off a piece. “I’m super nervous about that. No other reason. Because why would there be another reason?”
He eyes me for a moment before accepting the piece and taking a bite. “Mmm. Now that’s good chocolate.”
“I know my chocolate.”
“You definitely do, Captain. Another one of your amazing talents.”
My face flushes again. I turn my head away so he won’t see.
We’re quiet as we chew our chocolate. Again, the silence between us causes me anxiety. But I don’t want him to leave.
“I think I need to sit with you on every bus ride,” he says as he licks the chocolate off his fingers. “If you’re traveling with that kind of special goods? I’ll follow you like a lost puppy.”
“Do you have any manners at all?” I mutter as I reach for a few tissues from my backpack and hand them to him.
“Everyone knows chocolate tastes better when you lick it off your fingers.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes it is.”
“No it’s not!”
“Are we arguing again? Why are we always arguing?”
“Because we don’t see eye to eye on anything.”
He’s quiet for a bit before saying, “I think we have more in common than you think.”
I turn my head to study him and find him staring at the spot before him. Then his eyes shift to me. He and I keep our gazes on each other for what feels like hours before I yank mine away and squeeze my fingers between my knees.
More time passes. It once again feels like an eternity, but I’m sure it’s only a few minutes.
“Ryder—”
“Carly, I—Oh, sorry. You go first.”
“No, you,” I say.
“I insist.”
“I insist more.”
“Ladies first,” he says.
“As if you’re a gentleman.”
“Sure I am.” He flashes me another smile. “Ask all the girls I’ve hung out with.”
I give him a look and roll my eyes.
“I’m serious, Carly. It sounded like you wanted to say something important.”
I trace the hem of my dance uniform, keeping my eyes on my hand. “I just wanted to say that I forgive you. And I’m willing to put the past behind us and start over.”
He doesn’t say anything, which causes me to lift my eyes to his. His expression is a mix of disbelief, shock, surprise, but most of all relief and joy.
“Really?” he asks, a smile creeping onto his face.
I feel my mouth stretching into a grin. “Really.”
His smile expands by a thousand and it looks like he wants to dance through the entire bus. But he keeps his composure and says, “Thank you, Cap’n. It means a lot to me.”
Every part of me urges me to ask why it matters to him whether or not I forgive him.
I mean, he can forget all about me and just move on with his life.
Do I actually matter that much to him? But I don’t want to rock the boat.
He and I are getting along now, and maybe we can even be friends one day.
A flutter of excitement takes over my stomach at the thought of being his friend, and I don’t know why.
Is it fulfilling my six-year-old self’s dream?
After all, all I wanted was to be his and Blake’s friend.
Yeah, that has to be it. Because sixteen-year-old me shouldn’t feel any excitement at the thought of being close to him. He has his life and I have mine, and there’s no need to merge our lives.
“Carly, are you here? Looks like you went away for a second.”
“What?” I blink and shake my head. “Yeah, I’m here. Just, um, thinking…”
He laughs softly. “Well don’t hurt yourself. The team needs our captain at the performance.”
“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t miss the performance for the world.” I suddenly sit up when the bus slows down before a large building. “Oh my gosh, are we here?”
Ryder leans closer to get a glimpse out the window, his body pressing into mine. It’s not strong enough to hurt me, but he is kind of all over me. I can’t say I hate it, though.
My eyes widen. Oh my gosh, what am I thinking ?
“Looks like it,” he says as he stretches his neck to better see out of the window, turning his head in different directions. “I see teams from other schools. Man, they have some sick uniforms. But I like ours the best.”
At my lack of response, he gazes down at me. “Oh, sorry!” He quickly pulls away. “I didn’t know I was flattening you.”
“Please,” I say with a wave of my hand, even though my heart pounds. “You’re not that strong and I’m made of tough stuff.”
He tugs on one of my ribbons. “You definitely are, Captain. Probably one of the strongest people I know.”
I don’t have a chance to respond because Coach Moreno stands up and announces, “We have arrived! Everyone off the bus in an orderly fashion. I don’t want anyone to hurt themselves or ruin their uniforms.”
“Oh my gosh,” I whisper as I press my hand to my chest. “My heart is racing so fast.”
“It’ll be okay,” Ryder says softly. “I’m super nervous, too. But I believe in us. I believe in you. You’re the best captain in the world and you’ll lead us to victory.”
I try to swallow, but my throat is so dry. “I’ve been dreaming about this moment for years and now it’s finally here. I can’t believe it.”
“You made it happen, Carly.” He puts his hand under my chin, tilting my head so I’m forced to look into his eyes. “ You are making your dreams come true. You’re an inspiration.”
“An inspiration? Yeah, right.”
“Look at Naya.” He nods toward the front of the bus, where she’s gushing with Addie, her whole face lit up.
“She was pretty depressed the last few weeks. You’ve changed her life.
And look at Coach.” He nods to Moreno, who is frowning at one of the kids for ruining her hair and makeup.
“I have no idea what troubles she’s going through, but I think she needed this, too. You see, Carly? You’re an inspiration.”
“But my actions were selfish. I just wanted to dance.”
“Then you would have just danced. But you didn’t just want to dance. You wanted to bring people together. You wanted to change lives.”