Chapter Twenty-Six
Sophie
I’ve been doing the best thing in the world this past day and a half—reading.
I didn’t even leave my room for food. My friends were so kind and awesome to bring breakfast and lunch and dinner to me.
They know that I want to be alone with my book boyfriends because they’re the only ones who can make me feel better.
I’m sure I’ll come out of the reading cave soon and back to civilization.
But I’m allowing myself the weekend to just fall in love over and over again with these sweet guys who will never hurt me.
I can’t believe I said Axel was better than William Knight. What in the world was I thinking? No guy will ever hold a candle to the best man in the world.
I smile as I turn the page, devouring the words like I’m reading them for the first time.
I lost count of how many books I’ve read since the jerk dumped me.
I read the romantic bits of some a few times because they’re just so swoon.
I’m pretty sure I’ll reread William Knight again for the hundredth time.
Later, when my teeth are sunk into another book, the door opens and three heads pop in. My friends look at me with worried expressions on their faces.
I beam at them. “I just started one of the books I bought last year but kept pushing off. Oh my gosh! How did I think this one was meh? It’s amazing. The romance makes my toes curl. Vinn isn’t as sweet and sexy as William, but oh my gosh!”
They smile as they sit around me on the bed. I glance from one to the other, my brows furrowing. “Are you guys worried about me? I’m fine. Just need some time with guys who make me happy.”
Raven nods. “We get that and you should take all the time you need. But you’ve been in your room for hours. I think you need to take a break and stretch your legs.”
“Nah, but thanks.” I continue reading about the amazing Vinn. He’s a spy who falls in love with his enemy. So good!
“How about some fresh air, then?” Carly suggests. “Just go out for five minutes or whatever. The weather’s kind of nice for January.”
I frown. “What a waste of time.”
Addie places her hand on mine. “It’s not healthy to be cooped up in here for days. Other than us, you haven’t seen a soul. We’re worried you might isolate yourself.”
“Don’t let that jerk ruin your life,” Raven adds.
I glance from one to the other again. “He’s not ruining my life. I’m done thinking about him. I have these guys.” I tap the book.
Addie takes it from my hand. “And your guys will be waiting for you when you get back. Just go for a walk around campus. Clear your head a little.”
I suppose they have a point. I have been in my room for over twenty-four hours. I’m still in pajamas for heaven’s sake. And I didn’t even brush my hair today. It’s just been books from morning to night.
“I guess a short walk around campus wouldn’t hurt,” I tell them. “But is it okay if I go alone? I just need to think.”
They nod in understanding. “Of course,” Addie says, squishing me to her. “Whatever you need.”
The others hug me as well before leaving my room. I roll out of bed, throw on sweats, and brush my hair. After donning my jacket, I head to the door. Before I open it, I turn around. Should I take a book with me? Maybe I’ll end up on a bench and want to read?
No. It’s probably best I take a break from reading.
The courtyard is bustling with several students.
Due to the nice weather, couples are strolling about, friends chatting and laughing.
I don’t feel like a loser from the lack of a guy in my life.
It’s the opposite—I’m glad I don’t have a guy.
I don’t need the drama and pain that go along with having one.
If I don’t like a book or a character, I can DNF and move on to the next one.
But you can’t just DNF in real life. Relationships take work, though it seems the ending of my relationship was a done deal.
There was no way to fix it. But Axel did me a favor.
I can’t imagine falling so madly in love with him and then having my heart broken.
I’m not sure I would have recovered, even with my books.
They would just remind me of what I lost. Now that I know real romance is not in the stars for me, I can move on with my life.
I slam into something hard and fall backward, nearly toppling to the ground. Hands reach out and wrap around my waist. The next second, I’m pressed to a chest. A warm chest. That and this person’s strong arms make me feel protected.
My nose inhales the familiar scent and I go still. Slowly, my eyes lift to stare into concerned hazel ones.
Damian raises a brow. “Sorry. You okay?” Dropping his arms, he backs away from me.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m the one who should apologize.” I laugh lamely. “I guess I have a lot on my mind. Maybe going for a walk wasn’t such a good idea.”
His eyebrows furrow as he looks at me like he has no idea what I’m talking about.
I notice the motorcycle helmet in his hands. “Are you going for a drive?”
“No, just came back.”
“Oh. I was in my room all day reading.”
His head bobs as his furrow deepens. “You didn’t hang out with Axel?”
“Nope. Looks like I won the challenge.”
“What do you mean?”
“Prince Charming broke up with me yesterday.”
His eyes widen. “He did? Why?”
I throw my hands up. “It seems he was only interested in me because he thought I was rich. The second he found out I go to HBA on scholarship, he dumped me.”
Damian steps forward. He makes a move like he wants to do something—like maybe hug me or pat my arm. But he curls his fist to his side and mutters some not-so-nice things about the guy under his breath.
“I’m really sorry,” he says. “You okay?”
I shrug. “It was stupid of me to think the real thing could ever be better than books. The real thing doesn’t exist for me and it never will.”
“Don’t say that. Just because one guy ended up being a jerk, it doesn’t mean others will be, too. You can’t give up.”
I wave my hand. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but I’m done. Congrats to me for winning the challenge.”
“Are you sure you just want to give up? You hardly even tried.”
“Yep. I know what I want and what I want is book romance. I don’t need or want the real thing.”
He opens his mouth to say something, but then shuts it and frowns.
“Thanks for trying to help, though,” I tell him. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I just don’t think you should give up.”
I raise a brow at him. “Why do you care?”
“I refuse to believe that a book could ever be better than real life.”
I step closer and pat his chest. “Well, believe it, buddy, because it’s true. Men in books are perfect and guys in real life…aren’t.”
“I’m not sure if I should be offended.”
“No guy will ever match a book guy, so there’s no point in trying or feeling bad about it. Most girls picture their perfect guy, but he can’t exist in real life. Only in books.”
“So you think this William Knight dude has a monopoly on what it means to be a perfect guy?”
I lift my chin. “Yes.”
He holds up his hands. “All right. I’m not going to argue with you. Consider the challenge over.”
“Good. I need to get back to Vinn.”
“Who’s Vinn?”
I grin. “A sexy spy.”
He tucks his helmet under his armpit. “I don’t want to hear about this. See you tomorrow.” He walks toward his apartment.
I rush back to my dorm, slide under the covers in bed, and continue the book.
I end up reading for hours, not really paying attention to Raven when she comes in or takes a shower or goes to bed.
I force myself into the shower, then I’m back under the covers and finishing up a sci-fi romance.
Who knew robots could make a good romance?
When I’m finally ready to sleep, I toss and turn because my thoughts are keeping me awake.
Now that I don’t have books to distract myself with, the truth creeps up on me.
I made it seem like I’m perfectly okay and over Axel, but I was just lying to myself.
It hurts that he dumped me, and no matter how many books I read, they can’t assuage the pain.
It’s not only him—it’s the reality. I’m not what guys want.
Damian claimed I’m giving up too fast, but he doesn’t get it.
I only gave up because I’m preventing myself from going through this again.
I suspected guys in real life wouldn’t like me and Axel proved I was right.
Not to mention every guy I tried to talk to treated me like second class.
Maybe that’s why I hid in my room all weekend. Because I didn’t want to deal with the truth.
I really doubt there is anyone out there for me.