Chapter Twenty-Seven
Damian
Sophie doesn’t crack a real smile once as she chats with her friends in the hallway after classes have ended on Monday. Heck, she barely smiled all day.
She made it seem like she was over Axel breaking up with her, but I could see through the facade. She was hurt. And in order to deal with the pain, she read her books to make her happy.
I don’t know why she’s doing this to herself. Why doesn’t she want to try with another guy? Doesn’t she hope that there’s a guy out there for her?
But if she doesn’t want to try again, that’s not my business.
I go to the library for the lesson and she joins me a few minutes later. She puts on a fake smile, but I still see the pain in her eyes. As I study her, I realize it’s not only the guy that has her upset. It’s the fact that she can’t find romance in real life.
Why is she being so stubborn to try again? No. Not my business.
She doesn’t talk about books or movies or other random things like she usually does at our lesson. She goes straight to math.
As she talks, I can tell she’s still thinking about Axel because she loses her train of thought a few times.
I feel bad that she’s going through this.
It’s my fault because I insisted that real-life romance is better than book romance, and she accepted my challenge.
I shouldn’t have butted into her life. If she wants the book romance, who am I to tell her otherwise?
I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from even suggesting this challenge.
The truth is, she will find real romance one day. And she doesn’t need me to challenge her to find it.
Clearing my throat, I shift in my seat. “I’m sorry I put you through all of that.”
She stops talking and looks at me. “What?”
“The challenge. I’m sorry I suggested it.”
She’s quiet for a bit. “It’s fine. No harm.”
Of course there’s harm. She’s the only one who’s hurt by this. I bet Axel is off salivating over another rich girl.
She resumes the lesson, but I interrupt her again. “Wish I could make it up to you.”
Her mouth shuts. “It’s not only your fault. I accepted the challenge.”
“True, but I shouldn’t have butted in. You love your books and that’s fine. I had no right to convince you to try the real thing.”
She waves her hand. “I told you it’s okay. We should focus on the lesson.”
I bend close. “But you’re not okay, Sophie,” I say softly. “You’re just pretending you are.”
She keeps her gaze on her textbook. “Reading all weekend made me feel good. Happy. I was with the guys who can’t hurt me. But then when I went to bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I feel so stupid for liking him.”
“You’re not stupid.”
“I was obsessed with him. I thought he was the guy of my dreams. I was like some silly girl who crushed so hard on the guy who gave her some attention.” She bangs her head on the table. “I don’t want to ever be so stupid again.”
“I told you that you’re not stupid.”
“Just because you’re saying I’m not doesn’t mean I’m not,” her muffled voice says.
Placing my hand on hers, I say, “He doesn’t deserve to have you feeling this way. You should hold your head up high and be happy that jerk is out of your life.”
A spark zaps down my back, causing me to quickly remove my hand from hers.
She slowly lifts her head. “I just feel foolish.”
“Don’t let him make you feel that way. One day you’ll meet someone amazing.”
“Nope. That ship has sailed.”
My eyebrows knit. “So if let’s say next week a cute guy walks over to you in the library and asks you out, you’ll say no?”
“Yep.”
I shake my head, giving up. “Okay.”
We get back to the lesson. She’s determined to cover the material without talking about other topics.
No joking around about me being a non bad boy.
Her eyes are still troubled, like she’s still disappointed in herself.
Doesn’t she realize how great she is? I don’t like seeing her like this and wish I could help somehow.
I rub my pencil against my lips. “Do you want to do something after the lesson? Maybe go catch a movie?”
“A movie? But we have lots of homework.”
“So?”
She stares at me. “Why do you want to see a movie with me?”
“Why not?”
Her eyes narrow. “Are you trying to stop me from feeling sorry for myself?”
“I might.”
She forces a laugh. “See, I know you well.”
“Barely. So is that a yes to the movie?”
“I was thinking about reading all night.”
I lift a brow. “Aren’t you worried you’ll finish your entire arsenal of books?”
She shrugs. “I’ve read many over a few times. I’ll never run out.”
“Fine. It’s a no to the movie, then?”
She ponders it for a few seconds. “Okay. That sounds like fun, thanks.”
I dip my head. “But we’ll only go on one condition.”
“I can’t bring books with me?”
“Okay, two conditions. You don’t call yourself stupid again. At least not in front of me.”
She just gapes at me. “Why do you care if I call myself stupid?”
“Because you’re not.”
“That’s debatable. I might be good at school, but I’m so bad with boys. Hence, I’m stupid.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “So you’re not agreeing to the terms?”
“Fine. I won’t call myself stupid in front of you.”
“Good. Now let’s finish this lesson so we can go. Don’t need my mom breathing down our necks that we’ll break curfew.”
As she reviews what we learned, I notice her eyes aren’t as sad as they were before.
There’s some light in them. Could it be that the thought of going to the movie with me makes her feel better?
Like she’s doing things she normally does and isn’t letting that jerk hold her back?
Will she be over him and smile for real soon?
Or maybe…is she looking forward to spending time with me?
When she told me last night that Axel broke up with her, this odd feeling entered my stomach. I think it was relief. Like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like a jerk for being happy that they’re over, but that’s the truth. I don’t understand why I feel this way. We’re just friends. Or is that something I keep telling myself?
Lately, I’ve been up all night thinking about her.
Her sweet smile, pretty eyes. How she’s always making sure I understand the material.
She doesn’t see me as a thug like most kids at school do.
And I can’t forget how she told Mom to be proud of me the other day.
She must have noticed that Mom isn’t exactly the warmest mother in the world. She was trying to make me feel better.
And I want to do the same for her. I want her to forget the name Axel and…what? Remember my name instead? That’s silly.
I want to be there for her. I want that bright smile to return to her face. But mostly, I just want to spend time with her outside of our lessons.
Her hand rests on her textbook. It’s only a few inches from my hand. What would it feel like to wrap my fingers around hers? Would a spark shoot all over my body? Would she feel it, too?
“Damian, you’re not concentrating,” she says.
I puff out my cheeks, sinking in my chair. “Too excited for the movie. How about we end this and get out of here?”
“Not yet.”
I groan. “We’re wasting time.”
“Okay. Do one math problem and if you get it right, we’ll end the lesson and go to the movie. If you get it wrong, we’ll finish the lesson.”
I sit up straight. “Okay.”
“But it’s a hard one.”
“Bring it.”
She tells me which problem to solve and I get straight to it. She’s right, it’s very hard. But this non bad boy can be determined when he wants to be.
“Done.” I hand it to her.
She checks it over and smiles. “Awesome! You got it right.”
“Did you doubt me?”
“Never in a million years. See, I told you that you’re smart, Damian. You just need to be pushed, and I pushed.”
I snicker. “You’re starting to sound like my mother.”
Her eyes widen. “Heck no! Take it back.”
I chuckle, loving that she’s slowly returning to her old, fun self. “All right. You’re nothing like that terrible woman.”
She just stares at me. I know, I just called my mom terrible. And I know she’s confused. I could try to explain myself, but I don’t want to get into that right now.
We’re both quiet as things suddenly get awkward. I shouldn’t have downed the mood with talks of my mom. Why does she always ruin everything?
“Well, a deal is a deal,” Sophie says after a little while, a grin on her face. “Let’s go watch a movie.”