Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Hawk knocked lightly on the bathroom door, which Lucky had left slightly ajar. An invitation? He hoped. “Can I come in?”
“Um. Yes.” The hesitation in her voice made him cautious.
He opened the door slowly, revealing a stunningly beautiful, half-naked Lucky in front of him. She was still in her bra and panties, the plain white cotton just as sexy on her as lace.
She’d managed to get the rest of her clothes off without his help.
The sling lay discarded on the double vanity, along with her knee brace and the used wrap and bandage from her thigh.
She was currently pulling the bandage off her chest, her gaze darting to him and away as her cheeks flamed pink with embarrassment.
“Want some help?” He tried to put her at ease by seeming nonchalant about her near nakedness and all her scars on display.
“Do you know where the ointment is that we brought home from the hospital?”
That home in her sentence did all kinds of things to his head and heart. It made him hope that she really felt like this could be home. Here. With him. “It’s on the dresser. I’ll get it.” It only took half a minute to grab it from the other room and return.
She turned away from him. “I can’t reach the one on my back.”
He set the ointment and new bandages and gauze on the counter and carefully pulled the tape on all four sides of the large square covering. The stitches were still intact and the wound looked good. “No signs of infection on this one. Turn and let me see your chest.”
She turned with a shy grin. “So you’re a boob man?”
He met her gaze, even though her spectacular breasts were right there.
“I’m a Lucky man. I like everything about you.
” He brushed his knuckles down her cheek.
“Thank you for tonight. It meant a lot to have you here with my cousin and best friend. I know it’s unconventional to have a female best friend. ”
“But she wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Lucky didn’t show an ounce of jealousy. “You told me. And I like her—them—a lot. I’ve never seen a couple so in love.”
“They’re the real deal. Nothing can tear them apart. Not after how hard they fought to be together.”
“I believe that. It’s been a long time since I made new friends. I’m usually too quiet and standoffish to try.”
“I get that. I spent way too long pushing everyone away after I returned home. Lyric helped me break that habit.”
Her head tilted as she studied him. “Were you ready for it?”
“I’d done a lot of therapy by then to address my PTSD.
” He put it out there, so she’d know he wasn’t whole.
Probably never would be again. But he wasn’t as broken as he used to be.
He’d mended the pieces he could put back together.
“What I hadn’t done was open myself up to others.
Not even my family. I don’t know what it was about her.
Maybe her direct, take-no-excuses way she came at me did it.
But her kindness and joy was infectious.
I couldn’t be brash with her. Mason deserved to be happy after all he’d been through being undercover with the FBI and away from his family.
She was good for him and I didn’t want to mess that up for him in any way. ”
“You love him like a brother.” Sadness filled her eyes, like she was thinking of the brother she’d lost.
He couldn’t imagine losing either of his brothers or cousins. They were so close.
And now Lucky was alone.
Whoever did that to her and claimed it was to protect her didn’t understand Lucky and the depths she’d gone to protect Danny. Killing him for no reason made all she’d sacrificed and suffered meaningless.
“I think of Mason and Nick as brothers. We’ve been close since we were kids. I’d do anything for them. I know they’d do anything for me. I’m ashamed I pushed them away so long when all they wanted to do was help.”
“You needed time. They understood that.”
“I knew they would and that’s why it made it worse, because I counted on the fact that no matter how much of an asshole I was, they’d never stop trying, and I felt worse for lashing out every time they held a hand out to reach me.”
“Sometimes we hurt the ones closest to us because we want them to feel our pain. To understand. I’m sure you’ve made it up to them.”
“I try. Mom says I don’t have to do anything but be happy. That’s all they want for me.”
“That’s got to feel really nice, to know no matter what, they have your back.”
He tipped his forehead to hers. “I know you don’t know what that’s like, but you have it now. I won’t let anything happen to you. I want you to be happy. I’ll do everything I can to make you feel that way.”
She cupped his cheek and brushed her thumb against his skin. “Why?”
He stood tall and stared down at her. “Because I care about you. You know that, right?”
“I’m standing here half naked, trying not to be completely self-conscious in front of the second guy to see me naked, wondering what this is between us.”
He tilted his head, trying not to get too caught up in the fact she’d only been with one guy. Years ago. How was that even possible? Did guys just turn mute and stupid when they met her? Their loss. His good fortune.
But he understood that after what happened with her ex and her family, trusting anyone didn’t come easy.
He'd prove to her she could count on him, even if he was a more deadly motherfucker than her ex. That was a different him. A different life.
Except sometimes his mind took him back there.
Not as often anymore. Thank god.
And now he had her to focus on and keep him grounded. Because he wanted to be with her, in her light, in her warmth, and in her arms desperately.
What was she asking him?
Oh, yeah. “Do you want a label for us?” Would that help her feel secure?
“I just…I haven’t done this…and I just want to be clear about what it is. What we are. What you expect.”
“You can use boyfriend for now.”
There went that head tilt again. “For now?”
“Yeah.” He gripped her hips and pulled her to his body, her thighs to his. Her belly to his. Chest to chest. “Because that’s not as permanent as I want us to be.”
“Oh. Oh!” Her eyes went wide. “You want us to be more.”
“You’re everything to me.” He swooped in and kissed her to make his point, hooking one arm around her hips and pulling her flush against his achingly hard cock.
He couldn’t help it. She was nearly naked and so close he could smell her.
Sure she needed a shower, but there was still and underlying sweetness about her.
And she didn’t seem to mind the kiss. Her tongue tangled with his with just as much passion and need as he poured into her.
She tried to move her arm up his shoulder and winced against his lips.
He stopped kissing her long enough to ask, “Are you okay?”
“Sorry. Moved my arm. Hurt my shoulder.”
“Damn. I’m taking this too fast. You need time to heal. Sorry.” It took a second for his mind to catch up and for him to throttle back his need for her.
The hand at the back of his neck fisted his hair. “Don’t be. I like it.”
He could see it in her eyes. It had been a long time since someone made her feel good. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
“Okay. But I’ll feel a little less exposed if you’re as naked as me.”
He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. “Okay, just know that my cock gets really hard and happy when you’re around. I can’t help it. Ignore it.”
“What if I want to see it?”
He groaned. “Oh baby, you’re not going to be able to miss it.” He brushed his fingers through the sides of her hair. “But know that nothing’s going to happen until you’re better.”
The disappointment in her eyes gave him hope that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
He couldn’t help it when his gaze roamed over her, landing on one scar after another, but also appreciating her long lithe legs, the curves that made him want to touch her everywhere.
“Do they bother you?” She crossed her arm over her chest and put her other hand over a particularly gnarly scar on her thigh.
He didn’t like her trying to hide from him.
“Your scars are a badge of strength and survival. They are the mark of all you’ve endured, the pain you suffered, the endurance it took to keep on living. They’re part of what makes you beautiful.”
To make her more comfortable, and to show her he didn’t come out of his past unscathed either, he pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the vanity.
Her gorgeous green eyes took him in. The smile on her lips showed her appreciation of all his muscles but slowly died on her face as she took in his scars.
Normally, he’d dismiss the stare and not say anything, but he wanted to let her in, so he pointed to his chest near his shoulder.
“Gunshot wound from my first tour.” He went through the other scars.
“Shrapnel from an IED. Knife.” He traced his finger along the long scar across his belly and another on his forearm.
He pushed his pants down his hips and turned his back to her, showing off the other bullet wound just above his right butt cheek.
“There are more scars on my legs from a chopper crash.” He brushed away some of the hair from the side of his head, showing her a long scar. “Really bad concussion, cracked skull, and thirty-two stitches.”
“Hawk, how did you survive all this?”
“I got lucky. Just like when I found you. I had good surgeons and the will to live, because I had people I loved back home waiting for me. And I’m stubborn.
I didn’t want to leave my brothers in arms. I wanted to win with them.
I believed in what we were doing. I saved a lot of people.
” Even if he’d had to kill to save others.
To keep his brothers in arms safe. For his country. For the people he loved.
“And you keep saving them. You saved me.”