Chapter 15
Mase was taking his sweet time. Mom had offered to stay downstairs with Andrew, but I didn’t think a strange woman was really any better than no woman. I wasn’t sure. I hated not being sure.
The living room was dark except for the faint light coming from the kitchen stove.
Andrew slept on his stomach with his legs curled under him, one arm flung over his head.
The hockey game had ended a while ago, and I was standing in the open space between the kitchen and living room basically wringing my hands.
I should probably be working on editing, or at least sending my latest video to my proofer, but I couldn’t bring myself to go upstairs. Not knowing Mase was on his way.
We’d just done this dance last night—though it felt like a million years ago—and my heart rate refused to settle back into a normal rhythm. Nothing about the situation was normal. I’d gone several days longer than usual between streams, and my fans were noticing.
The key to regular monetary compensation was a steady release rate. Fans wanted videos at a pace they could anticipate, and I was slacking at the moment. I really should get back to work, but instead of going upstairs, I settled at the kitchen table to check my email for the hundredth time.
After receiving the invite to the esports tournament, I’d replied asking who’d suggested my name.
I hadn’t sent them my formal response yet, but since it was fairly local—taking place at a Dallas arena—I’d probably accept.
The email had been a longshot. Most organizers won’t share privileged information.
To my surprise, they’d emailed me back. Even wilder, they’d been happy to share the details.
Valor Legion. They’d suggested me to the team at Elite Gaming, who claim they hadn’t needed much convincing to extend me an invite.
What the hell?
My focus zeroed in so tightly on my email I didn’t hear my mom come up behind me.
“What’s got you so interested?”
With an awkward flail, I launched my phone off the table instead of closing the app. It hit the carpet in the living room with a thud, thankfully without any accompanying shattering sounds.
“Dammit, Mom,” I muttered as I retrieved it.
“You know that’s not my fault,” she pointed out.
“I know. Sorry.”
She’d changed into her pajamas, and she was carrying a bag of gummy candy. “Want one?”
I narrowed my eyes at the little bears. “Where did you get that?”
“,” she said with her mouth full of sugar. “Now what’s going on?”
I snagged a handful of candy, then slid back into my chair as she joined me at the table. “Shouldn’t you be asleep by now?”
Mom snorted. “Like you have any idea what my sleep schedule is. You’re usually working now, so I like to wander the halls pretending to be a spurned Victorian ghost.”
“That’s weirdly specific, even for you.”
“I have depths. Stop trying to distract me.” She wiggled her fingers in a sign to hand her my phone, but I pulled it closer to me.
My first reaction was to brush the email off. I hadn’t decided to go, and I hated being away from her for any length of time. What if there was an emergency? It was easier to politely decline than try to wrangle my guilt into something fit for public consumption.
Mom raised a brow, and I sighed, realizing how messed up I sounded even in my own head. She was an adult perfectly capable of handling an emergency. Mom didn’t need me to stay—I was using it as an excuse.
Thanks to her, the excuse was wearing thin.
“Valor Legion put me up for a Citadel tournament in Dallas. One day, individual entry, single elimination. As far as I can tell, it’s invite only. Valor is a sponsor.”
Mom’s eyes lit up. “Yes, honey! This is what you’ve been waiting for.”
She wasn’t exactly right. I was flattered to be courted by Valor, but I hadn’t been waiting for an invite. I certainly wasn’t trying to work my way into a tournament because of some shady attempt at a try-out.
“I don’t like that they went straight to the organizers. It feels like a set-up and makes me question the fairness of the competition.”
“You always have a reason, but it’s never the full truth.”
I shifted in my seat and set my phone face down on the table. She was uncomfortably close to my own thoughts. The reasons were complicated, and since part of the complication was her, I didn’t want to explain. She deserved an answer though.
“I’m not sure this is the direction I want my life to go. I’m extremely lucky I can make a living playing video games with my channel, but playing on the pro circuit is risky.”
Her nose scrunched up. “Don’t they pay a salary?”
“Yes, but the contract and amount vary wildly. On top of the uncertainty, the attention just feels… hinky.”
“How so?”
“Valor are all men. The entire team. Only like five percent of professional gamers are women, and there aren’t any who play Citadel. It’s hard enough to break into the top level, and I haven’t even been trying.”
The urge to argue with me crossed her face, but she held it back. “Okay, how is the sad state of professional esports related to this offer feeling hinky?”
I shoved my hair out of my eyes and tried to find the right words. “They’ve publicized they’re looking for a new player after Whiskers retired, but they’ve lost some of their sponsors in the last few years. Not enough wins meant not enough publicity. The public moves on fast.”
She nodded. “That’s why you appear so often on your stream.”
“Exactly,” I said, relieved she understood. “For Valor, they don’t really need a new player. They have enough skilled guys to compete as they are. What they need is something to garner attention.”
“You?” she asked.
“Maybe. I haven’t competed in years, but I’m popular on social media.
The Citadel World Cup is eight months away, and they haven’t secured a spot yet.
Instead of practicing at their base in Baltimore, they’re here in Dallas helping to run a mid-level tournament and trying to recruit an internet personality who used to be good at the game. ”
Hudson ran into the room, and Mom scooped him up. “Used to be?”
“As far as they know, I stopped playing years ago.”
Mom took my hand. “It’s because of Baltimore, isn’t it?”
Dammit, I should have known she’d pick up on the one detail I’d meant to keep out of my rant. Valor required their team to live near their practice facilities. In Maryland.
“It’s a concern,” I hedged.
She squeezed my fingers. “We can move again.”
I gave her a tight smile but didn’t agree. The last time, she’d needed industrial strength anti-anxiety meds, and the first few weeks in this house she’d had daily panic attacks. I couldn’t really work because I was exhausted. Things got tight for a while, but my fans came through in the end.
We’d finally gotten to a place where she seemed happy. My career was going well. Hudson had friends. Mase…
Mom would try, but the opportunity didn’t seem worth the move if I had to take the first few weeks off to take care of her again. Assuming Valor even wanted me as a player and not a publicity stunt.
“I don’t want to move again,” I finally told her. It was at least partially true. “They haven’t offered me a spot, only a try-out, and I doubt they’d be willing to match what I make now.”
She smiled. “Then maybe you should give them a reason to up the offer. Go to the tournament and win the whole fucking thing.”
I gasped dramatically. “Mom. Language.”
“I’m telling them yes.” Quicker than I gave her credit for, she grabbed my phone and bolted for the stairs as she cackled.
I sat at the table with my mouth open until her door slammed. What the hell? I had no doubt she’d do exactly as she’d threatened, and she had my unlock code because of my paranoid worry she’d need it in an emergency.
My head thumped onto the table as I reconciled myself to my first tournament appearance since the stalker incident. We’d left him several states behind, but my stomach still twinged at the thought of being broadcast on a large stage.
Technically, he’d found me through my channel, but he’d followed me to competitions and left increasingly disturbing messages near my gear.
I never got a look at him until he showed up at my house and tried to convince me to run away with him somewhere off grid.
Translation: murder me in a field somewhere.
When I politely declined, he tried to shove me into his car. Unluckily for him, I’d been taking self-defense classes since Mom’s attack, and I carried a panic button. He wasn’t expecting me to fight back.
I broke his nose, and when the police showed up not long after, he was still sitting outside seething. Not a hard case to close. I pressed charges, but he ended up in psychiatric care. The whole experience was fucking terrifying.
Our house was on the market the next week, and we were ready to move by the end of the month. Well, I was. I couldn’t tell Mom the entire truth because she’d lose her shit. As far as she knew, Walter confronted me outside the house, and I simply ran inside.
She wasn’t sure moving would be worth it, but I couldn’t stay. The truth was I’d made her move because I didn’t want to end up like her. We couldn’t both be beholden to our fears.
I shuddered thinking about those few months. What a mess. We’d been in Addison, Texas for almost a year, and I hadn’t done any in-person appearances.
Now that I was faced with one, my anxiety skyrocketed. My heart pounded, and I couldn’t fully relax my muscles. When a sharp knock sounded on the door, I nearly fell out of my chair.
Mase waited on the other side—a figure who should be large and menacing, but his presence only calmed me. The sleeping duck he held in the cute little carrier helped.
He took one long look at me and narrowed his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
I reached for the carrier. “Nothing.”
Mase handed it over without hesitation and dumped his two bags on the dining room table. “I need to get her settled, but I can do that and listen.”
I tilted my head at him. “You hate listening.”
“No, I don’t. I hate most people, doesn’t matter if they’re speaking or not. I like you. Talk.”
I shoved my hair out of my face again, mentally reminding myself to start storing hair ties in the kitchen if I was going to keep it longer. “You don’t have to cater to me because I did you a favor.”
He raised a brow at me as he pulled the carrier out of my free hand. “Technically, your mom is doing me a favor. What you and I are doing is entirely different.”
I went from slightly cranky and on edge to molten hot in seconds. “You and I aren’t doing anything except sleeping tonight.” The reminder brought me closer to the cranky side again, but only because I could really use another release like last night’s.
Mase sent a searching glance toward the living room, visibly relaxing once his gaze settled on the balled-up form of Andrew on the couch. “I need you to tell me why you look spooked tonight, then I’ll tell you why it took me so long to get over here.”
Lust fought with frustration and a tinge of fear. He didn’t phrase it as a request, and my first reaction was to take my shaky emotions out on him. I even opened my mouth, but he turned his back on me to approach Andrew.
As I watched, uncertainty and reverence crossed his features. He brushed back a lock of hair on Andrew’s forehead, slowly, gently, then yanked his hand away like he’d been burned. Mase drew in a deep breath, then faced me again.
“Thank you for keeping him safe.”
My heart turned over. The negativity simply drained out of me…
and the lust hit a new all time high. I’d never thought of myself as the maternal sort, though my mom would probably disagree, but seeing him with such raw emotion over a kid he’d just met wrecked any plans I had to keep him at arm’s length.
“You’re welcome.” I sucked in a lungful of air and let the truth out. “I was freaking out when you got here because I was signed up for a tournament against my will, and my nervous system thinks a live event will bring on another attack.”
He straightened. “Another attack?”
I quickly gave him the Cliff’s Notes version of why we’d moved to Texas. “I’m sure I’ll be fine, but fear isn’t logical.”
Mase stayed quiet for a moment, though his tight jaw gave away his internal struggle. “When is the tournament?”
“In a few weeks.”
He grunted. “I’ll go with you.”
The sudden relief almost buckled my knees, but I didn’t want him to think he could simply insert himself into my life wherever he felt like it. “I don’t remember inviting you, and I don’t need a bodyguard.”
Mase moved closer with deliberate steps until he could cage me in against the table. “I want to go with you. As your friend, your protection, your provider of late-night orgasms… anything else you’ll let me be.”
I gripped the edge of the fake wood, mostly to keep from dragging him down the last little bit. His mouth was inches above me, and my mind was firmly in the gutter.
He leaned down, brushing his lips across mine. “Invite me, and I promise nothing will happen to you.” Then again. “Nothing you aren’t begging for anyway.”
I was about to start begging now. “And if I don’t need protection or orgasms?”
“I’d love to see you kick someone else’s ass for once.” A smile edged onto his face, and I was a goner.
“Okay, you can come,” I breathed.
The moment stretched out, heavy and wanton, as every cell in my body urged him to lay me out on the dining room table. I wanted him over me, around me, inside me… I wanted to know every last broken part of him.
“Honey, can you—” Mom’s voice was like a bucket of cold water to the face.
Mase straightened, and my gaze whipped to the other side of the living room where she stood staring at us.
“Oops, carry on.” Mom rushed out, dropping my phone onto the side table in the living room and fleeing up the stairs.
I let my forehead fall against his chest, noting he was breathing hard just like me. “Welcome to my life.”
He chuckled and dropped a kiss on the top of my head. “If you ever stay at my place, we’re locking the doors.”