Chapter 16
Do not lay Taryn across the table. Do. Not. Lay Taryn. Across the table.
It took four tries to move away from her even after her mom interrupted us. Dammit. Andrew was right there. I was ten minutes into trying to be a better guardian, and I was already fucking it up.
Taryn reached down to release Sunny from her carrier while I checked the bag of duck supplies. I’d shoved a set of clean clothes in there for sleeping, but Cole and Reece had packed the rest.
“Sunny already had her bath time, and she’s in a clean diaper, but—” I stopped talking as I found the condoms tucked under two extra duck diapers.
I left them where they were. As much as my dick wanted me to follow through with the table talk, Taryn was right about sexy time. Andrew’s first night in a new place, not even the place where we’d be living, meant I needed to be available if he needed me.
Taryn stood up, cradling Sunny against her chest. “But what?”
My mind blanked for a second at the sight of her—hair wild, cheeks flushed, eyes burning. “Umm, nothing. She’s used to sleeping in the room with me. Is that okay?”
She grinned. “See? It’s not so hard to ask.”
Andrew let out a loud snore and rolled over.
“I have a lot of expensive equipment in my room. Will she be okay while we’re sleeping?”
I frowned, suddenly reminded of all the times our other duck had gone after electrical wires. Sunny usually slept while I slept—I assumed. She’d never shown any interest in wires herself, but I couldn’t take the chance she’d mess up Taryn’s equipment.
“How organized are your cables?”
“Very, but a determined animal could get to them.”
We both stared at Sunny, content to be half asleep in Taryn’s arms.
I mentally winced, already regretting my next words. “I keep my computer in my room, and she’s never been destructive with it. There’s always a first time though. I can sleep on the floor down here with her if you’re not comfortable.”
Taryn sighed and kissed Sunny’s freckled head. “We’ll make it work. Hudson hasn’t destroyed anything yet, and he’s constantly running into my room.”
I glanced around the dim living space, but didn’t see the little dog. “Where is Hudson? Doesn’t he need to go out one last time?”
She sent me a soft smile. “You remembered my dog’s poop schedule?”
A flare of pride filled my chest at her pleased expression. “Hard to forget when he’s usually barking at my window during his evening activities.”
Taryn laughed. “All I’m hearing are excuses, hot shot. Mom can take him out with his leash tonight. It’s the least she can do after stealing my phone. Speaking of which…”
She carried Sunny across the living room to snag her phone, then stopped on the bottom stair. “I haven’t forgotten you still owe me an explanation for why it took you so long to get here.”
I jerked my head at the couch. “I’ll tell you upstairs.”
Taryn’s gaze followed me as I checked all the windows and doors to be sure they were locked before turning off the lights and grabbing my bag.
After my encounter with Dad and her story about her stalker, I was at least doing the bare minimum to secure the house.
Not that I expected an invasion, but my basement lair suddenly seemed like a great idea.
Maybe I could convince her to stay at my place next time. The simple thought stopped me in my tracks halfway across the living room. Taryn’s brow furrowed, but she didn’t comment.
I didn’t voluntarily invite people into my space. I hadn’t even wanted Andrew down there, and now I was planning a sleepover? The added security of Cole and Reece plus the underground component gave my newfound protective streak a powerful weapon against my need to maintain my own space.
Weirdly, I liked her house better than mine. I didn’t have the urge to run back to my solo existence or find a way to block everyone out. No one tried to touch me except Taryn, and her touch had never elicited the feeling of panic I got from everyone else.
I wanted her to touch me. All the time. Always.
As if to prove my point, I reached for her hand as I approached. Mostly, I wanted to see what she’d do, but a part of me desperately wanted the connection we’d severed when Carrie had interrupted us.
Taryn slipped her hand into mine without hesitation. She gave me a quick squeeze, checked on Andrew one more time, then led the way to her room. The entire experience was surreal. Domestic and normal in a way I hadn’t experienced in over a decade.
Like last time, the LED lights from her computer set up lit the space in a soft glow. I retrieved two of my old shirts from the bag and made a nest for Sunny on the opposite side of the room from the electronics. Hopefully, she’d be content with the familiar smells.
As expected, Sunny curled up and went right to sleep on the makeshift nest. I was thankful she was a predominantly daytime duck. If she’d been nocturnal, like Kenzie’s cat, I might have had second thoughts about my life choices.
Not that I slept much at night myself, but it was easier to get help taking care of her during the day when my roommates were awake.
Taryn laughed softly, sending an electric buzz down my spine. “Is that all she needs?”
“Pretty much. She loves sleeping almost as much as swimming and t-r-e-a-t-s.” I had to spell out ‘treats’ because Sunny had figured out what that particular word meant. I didn’t want her suddenly awake and searching for a snack. At least she didn’t eat wires like her mom.
She pursed her lips. “What else do you do with her?”
I stared at her mouth for a long second before turning away to pull my sleep clothes from the bag. The tension ratcheted up as I heard her dresser drawer scrape open. Everything in me wanted to throw my best intentions out the window so I could watch her change.
Instead, I cleared my throat and willed my inconvenient hard-on to calm down.
“Reece taught her to fetch strawberry tops, but we kept ending up with red splotches all over the place. Kenzie threatened to take away his strawberry privileges if he didn’t stop.
I assume there’s some kind of sex game involved there, but I’m never going to ask. ”
I pulled my shirt over my head to change, and Taryn made a quiet strangling noise. Guess she wasn’t as interested in best intentions. I almost swung around, but I wasn’t that guy. She’d invited me into her room—the least I could do was show her a bare minimum of respect.
The noise made me grin though—and I definitely flexed a little more than was necessary.
When I reached for the button on my jeans, Taryn rushed past me for her bathroom. “Be right back.”
Her voice had gone up an octave, but I couldn’t blame her for trying to de-escalate. The glimpse I’d gotten of her long legs in tiny shorts was enough to make me rock hard. I groaned as I dragged the jeans off and replaced them with sweats.
The water turned on, and I debated if I should brush my teeth or dive headfirst into the bed. I propped my hands on my hips and stared down at the solid length tenting my pants. My dick said to go into the tiny bathroom with her and see what she’d do.
Taryn was a grown ass woman who could make her own choices. If her choice involved my cock, who was I to argue?
Fuck. Maybe just a peek.
I started for the door, but the water stopped right before the light flicked off. My eyes widened. Time for plan B. I dove for the covers but missed and ended up splayed across her bed with my front half tangled in her blanket.
The door creaked open, and Taryn let out a snorting laugh. Perfect. Exactly the image I wanted to portray. At least she couldn’t see the obvious evidence of how much I longed to forget the duck and the kid and the future and just enjoy her.
“Need some help?” she asked, circling around to her side of the bed.
“Nope. Just checking if I could fit sideways. Why do you have a king size bed in the first place?”
She raised a brow as she climbed under the covers like a normal person. “You think only tall people want to sleep sideways across the bed?”
“Right,” I grunted, correcting my position without flashing her my erection.
Taryn snuggled into her pillow, facing me. “While I appreciate your restraint, you can relax. I’m not going to be offended by your hard-on. I think we’ve already established we’re attracted to each other.”
I settled on my side, nose to nose with her. “I almost followed you into the bathroom.”
She laughed again while I cursed my stupid mouth, then she met my eyes. “I almost asked you to join me.”
“You’re a menace,” I growled as I flipped her around so I could wrap her in my arms.
Taryn giggled, wiggling as close as she could get without impaling herself. “You love it.”
I didn’t answer her. The teasing comment hit too close to home. I hadn’t loved anything in a long time, other than hockey. Even then, it was more of a love/hate relationship considering I was thinking of giving it up.
Then I met Gavin, and Cole, and Reece, and all their women, and their friends—and Sunny. My life was getting uncomfortably full, but was any of it love? I revisited the rage I’d felt when Kane started running his mouth about Kenzie, and yeah, it felt like love. The kind between friends.
But Taryn was different. If Kane had done to her what he’d done to Kenzie, I’d have sent him through the wall instead of punching him once to shut him up. And I wouldn’t have stopped.
The thought scared me. My dad had never tried to stop. What if I couldn’t? What if I turned on the people I cared about?
My arms tightened around Taryn, and she sighed, rubbing her face on my bicep.
Her body was languid with sleep. I should be terrified at the insane urge to keep her safe.
She was generous, kind, understanding, and the fiercest daughter I’d ever met.
Also, I desperately wanted to hear her breathy moans again when I’d had my fingers inside her.
Not important. I took a few shallow breaths to move my mind past the image of her coming at my hands so I could focus on the rest of my thoughts.
I wanted to protect her. She could protect herself, but the urge was still there. Lurking. Breathing insidious life into every decision I made around her. How long before I went too far and scared her away?
And what about Andrew? The compulsion to protect Andrew made sense to me. He was a kid. Kids deserved to be protected. Mom may have kept us apart, but he was my brother. I’d keep him safe, even if I needed to protect him from myself.