Chapter Eleven #2
Vince rubbed his chin and sighed. “I’ve been a pretty lousy dad. Not sure this is the worst of it.”
Sawyer didn’t disagree, though he took a step closer. Robbie wanted to follow but curbed the impulse. Sawyer needed this moment.
“Not saying I wanna be here, but—look, kid, we both know you’re going to be just fine, because you’re…
well, you take after your mom and your uncle.
” Vince shot a look at Robbie, and it struck him how little they knew each other.
Robbie had left home at fifteen and did his best to avoid going back.
If it weren’t for Sawyer, he and Vince probably wouldn’t have spoken much at all for the past fourteen years.
So Robbie didn’t really know this worn man in a jumpsuit.
“Let’s be real, you’re gonna be looked after better now than you were by me.
” Vince turned his gaze from Robbie back to Sawyer.
“He’s been doing the heavy lifting for years now.
Probably better this way if everyone knows it. ”
“You haven’t… haven’t been completely useless,” Sawyer granted.
Vince huffed a laugh. “Thanks. We only got a few more minutes…. You’re doing good? Everything okay at school? You like the new place?”
Sawyer melted a little more and took another couple steps closer. “Uh. School’s out now, Dad, but—it was good, yeah. I like it.”
“I can’t believe you’re in high school now.” Vince’s voice cracked, startling Robbie into feeling his own emotions. He edged backward until he pressed up against the wall. “I wish your mom could’ve seen it, kid.”
Robbie closed his eyes. Fucking God damn it, Vince. Why couldn’t he have kept his nose clean?
Sawyer sniffled. “Yeah. I… me too.”
There was a clearing of throats, and then Vince said gruffly, “Let me talk to your uncle for a minute, yeah?”
Sawyer passed by Robbie on the way to the door, head down, wiping at his face. Robbie didn’t try to comfort him here; they’d both fall apart. They could do that at home.
He took a few steps closer to his brother. “Hey, Vince.”
Vince gave him a tired smile. “Hey, Robbie. So, look, I wanna just—”
Fuck it. Robbie pulled him to his feet and hugged him across the table. At the doorway, the guard stared out into the hall, impassive. Unmoved. In Robbie’s arms, his older brother shook a little.
“I already missed half his life, feels like,” Vince said. Finally he pulled back. Neither of them acknowledged the wetness on their cheeks. “Probably gonna miss a lot more. But it’s better this way. If he’s with you, his old man’s crap can’t come down on him.”
Robbie swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’ll take care of him,” he promised hoarsely.
“Never any doubt, man.” He blew out a deep breath and squared his shoulders, schooled his expression. “Now get out of here. I know you got better things to do than watch me rot all day.”
Somehow Robbie managed a mirthless laugh. “I’ll see you around, Vince.”
Needless to say he didn’t have his whole heart in dress rehearsal that day. After the third time Robbie missed the cue where he was supposed to grab Finn’s hand for a step sequence, Finn snowed to a stop.
Robbie winced. “Sorry, I fucked it up again. I—”
“Look like you didn’t sleep all weekend,” Finn interrupted. “Rough day with Sawyer?”
You could say that. “I don’t think he even wants to come tonight. Imogen might drag him anyway, but he’s pretty, uh….”
“His dad’s going to prison.”
Robbie exhaled roughly. “Yeah.”
“His dad who’s also your brother,” Finn pointed out.
“Not that you’d know it by how close we are.” Honestly Robbie hardly felt like he had a right to feel some kind of way about this.
“It affects Sawyer, so it affects you. That’s how it is.”
He didn’t reach out, which Robbie understood.
They were technically not allowed to fraternize.
They were at work. But given the circumstances, he was pretty sure Holly and even her uber-bosses would’ve forgiven them.
They’d already bent over backward to help Robbie schedule today so Sawyer could be at the arraignment and Robbie could be there for Sawyer.
But God, Robbie could’ve done with a hug—or even just a text here and there over the weekend. He’d barely spoken to Finn outside of work, it felt like.
Maybe he could fix that now. “What did you do this weekend? I mean, aside from the usual work stuff.”
Finn shook his head. “Nothing important. Hey, why don’t you go home? Get some more sleep. We can do one last run-through before they let the audience in.”
“It’s going to be a disaster.” Robbie hadn’t come this far to throw it all away now. “Let’s go again.”
Finn bit his lip. “Okay. One more. Then rest. You know better than to try to push through the pain.”
“Are you suggesting I’m not a macho athlete?”
“I’m suggesting that you know playing through the pain can only lead to injury.”
Ouch. Snipe and a goal. Slipping past the goalie’s undefended underbelly. “Twice more. Then a break,” Robbie offered.
Finn narrowed his eyes. “And you leave the building.”
“Fine.”
“Great. Deal.”
He made Robbie shake on it.
Finn slumped onto the bench and rested his head against the wall.
Robbie hadn’t said a word after they left the ice, just headed for the lockers, moving so slowly Finn was toweling off before Robbie even finished stripping.
Robbie liked to hum in the shower—his voice was a smooth tenor, pleasant—though he usually went for strange or obnoxious when picking song choices.
Right now, Finn could hear the water running full blast and nothing else.
He should probably check to make sure Robbie wasn’t trying to drown himself.
But what would he say when he got there? I’m sorry you’re so worried about your brother and kid that you fell on your ass on live TV? It’s okay, it’s not like your emotions can’t cost us the whole competition? Don’t worry, only a million people saw you screw up?
Or better yet, I’m sure your kid, who managed to drag himself to the live show despite everything, isn’t at all disappointed, even though this whole competition was his idea in the first place.
Yeah. Definitely not that one.
A tentative knock sounded on the door, and Finn pulled himself to his feet with a gusty sigh.
He didn’t want to give blanket permission for anyone to enter.
Thankfully they’d been last tonight and didn’t have to worry about another sweaty skater looking for the showers.
The rest of the men had already been through.
Finn cracked the door open and found Imogen and Sawyer on the other side.
Sawyer stared up at Finn with wide unhappy eyes. “Is he here?”
“Shower.” Finn considered. “If you stay in the change room, I can poke my head in to tell him you’re here.
” He wasn’t sure if it was the right move.
What if Robbie wanted space from Sawyer for as long as possible?
Then again… Sawyer probably couldn’t do more damage to Robbie’s ego than Finn could.
If nothing else, the kid’s presence would probably soothe something within him.
After making sure the kids stayed near the door—Finn did not need to hear it from their parents if Imogen ventured further into a men’s locker room—Finn found Robbie standing miserably under the spray, staring at the wall.
He held his uncapped shampoo in one hand but seemed to have forgotten to use it.
“Robbie?”
He jumped. “Yeah?”
“You okay?”
Robbie shrugged. “You?”
“I’ll live. Uh, Sawyer is here. Want me to send
him—?”
“Here?”
“Other side of the wall. I can tell him to go wait further—”
“Tell him I need three minutes.” He squeezed shampoo into his hand and then looked sheepishly back at Finn. It was his first show of emotion other than resignation since they left the ice. “Er, can you bring me my bag? I forgot to…”
Finn looked around and found only discarded clothes. Not even a towel. He snorted. “Sure. Imogen is with him, and I think we’d all prefer it if you didn’t flash her.”
“Yeah, I don’t think CAS would approve.” Tiny flicker of a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
Finn nodded and went looking for his deliveries, then returned to the door. “He needs three minutes.”
Sawyer sighed heavily. “He’s trying to wash off the stench of defeat.”
Imogen stepped on his foot and looked at Finn. “You were good, though.”
“It’s my dumb dad’s fault anyway.” Sawyer scuffed the toe of his shoe against the floor. “He ruins everything.”
Ouch. Finn caught eyes with Imogen and shared her wince. He didn’t think there was anything he could or should say to that. Robbie is perfectly capable of fucking up all by himself wasn’t going to help, and in this case he probably didn’t deserve it.
Finn wasn’t going to take his own hurt out on the kids—especially not Sawyer. “Do I stink like defeat too?” he asked instead, hoping for a redirect.
He jumped when the answer came from behind him. “Never. You always smell like a princess.” Robbie put a hand on either side of Finn’s waist to nudge him out of the doorway. “Hey, kid,” he said with a slight smile at Sawyer. “Hi, Imogen.”
Imogen nodded politely, but Sawyer launched himself at Robbie and buried his face against his sternum. “I’m sorry,” he half wailed.
“Whoa, hey.” Robbie glanced at Finn, wide-eyed, then back at Sawyer. “Why are you sorry? I’m the one who fell on my ass.”
All things considered, Finn thought he’d recovered pretty well.
He’d used the momentum of the fall to do a sort of sliding roll to his feet.
He’d only missed a few seconds. Of course, he lost all his fluidity for the rest of the dance and his face looked like it had been carved of rock, but he wasn’t a professional performer; there was only so much Finn could expect.
“It’s my fault you’re all distracted. Like, you didn’t sign up to parent a teenager and you probably don’t want to do it and I’m totally going to cramp your style and—”