Chapter Eleven #3
Sawyer might as well have slapped Finn across the face. Nothing like a reality check from a teenager who’d already lost his mom and whose dad was now going to prison to make you feel like shit for being upset your secret boyfriend couldn’t offer you anything long-term.
“Hey, hey. Having you live with me full-time is a fucking privilege, okay?” Robbie said softly.
Yeah, Finn and Imogen should leave them to it. He offered her his arm. “Come on, I think they need some time. And I need ice cream on the way home. You?”
Imogen looked back over her shoulder once and then put her arm through his. “Bet. If you’re buying.”
Robbie spent Monday night too busy with Sawyer to dwell on his own bruises, literal or metaphorical.
Taking a page from Finn’s book, he hit the drive-through for a ten-pack of Timbits on the way home and then sat in the kitchen with Sawyer, methodically crushing them until they had soaked up enough of the feelings to be able to talk.
He started with, “I asked your dad for custody as soon as the season ended.”
Apparently Sawyer still had half a mouthful of Timbit, because his cheeks bulged out like a chipmunk’s and he hurriedly washed it down with a sip of milk. “What?”
“I could see you weren’t happy, and he wasn’t taking care of you, and I knew he was into something shady.”
Sawyer poked at the last Timbit in the box. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to get your hopes up. Your dad’s uh… I mean, flakiness does run in the family.” Robbie had gotten his share of it.
Sawyer pulled a face but didn’t deny it. It wasn’t like he didn’t have his own brand of it. “So… you’re not mad to be stuck with me?”
“Kid, I’m thrilled to be stuck with you.” Robbie rubbed his chin. “If it weren’t for away games, I would have asked sooner.”
Sawyer picked up another Timbit but didn’t eat it yet. “Why didn’t he say yes?”
That was a harder question to answer. “I don’t know, bud. Maybe… maybe it felt too final to him.” He’d loved his wife, and all of this would have killed her. She’d loved him and Sawyer and would have hurt to see how much their family had fallen apart.
“Oh. Maybe.” Sawyer didn’t say anything for several minutes as he slowly ate his Timbit.
After dusting off his hands and pulling a long drink of water, he faced Robbie with a stubborn gleam in his eyes.
“If we do this—” Robbie snorted. There was no if about it.
Sawyer narrowed his eyes. “If we do this, you better not use me as an excuse to not have a life. Just because you’re a new dad doesn’t mean I need full-time care and self-sacrifice. ”
Robbie mulled this over as he sipped his drink. “I take your point, but I have a few counterpoints to make.”
Sawyer narrowed his eyes. “Yes?”
“One, there is no if about it, kid. I love you too much not to do this. I will fight for you until my dying day, even if I have to fight against you. Well, to a point. We can reevaluate when you’re eighteen, but we both know being right here is what’s best for you and I dare anyone to say otherwise. ”
Sawyer rolled his eyes. “Way to be dramatic.”
“Two, I’m insulted that you’d label me a ‘new dad.’”
Sawyer softened. “Yeah, fine.”
“And three, I’m not planning on self-sacrifice for no point, but you do know that being a parent means putting you first, right? Which means I’ve had to cancel all my drug binging and orgy plans—”
“Gross!”
“—for the next four years so the lovely social workers can’t take you away.
” Robbie placed a hand on Sawyer’s shoulder, needing the contact, needing to be sure that Sawyer heard him.
“Just because I have to put your needs before my own doesn’t mean that I have to ignore them.
But you can’t be mad at me for making choices that ensure you get to stay here. ”
Sawyer pulled a face. “Okay, but like, you can’t convince me that bacchanals”—Robbie mouthed the word and vowed to look it up as soon as he was out of the kid’s view—“are on your to-do list. It’s not like Child Services are going to care if you get a hobby or a partner.”
Images of Finn dressed like a hooker and begging for Robbie’s cock flashed through Robbie’s mind. Somehow he doubted those were social-worker-approved activities.
“You’re right about the hobby, so long as it doesn’t interfere with your care. But Sawyer, you gotta know that I could definitely do dating in ways that they didn’t like.”
Sawyer frowned. “Like what?”
“Like… introducing you to people too quickly, staying out too late, bringing people around who could hurt you….”
“Well, you wouldn’t do that.” Sawyer rolled his eyes.
“You know that. I know that. But CAS won’t. In fact, if I’m dating to find a partner, then in theory, I’m dating to find a co-parent, and that’s a big deal for them.”
Sawyer pulled a face. “As if you need a co-parent. Or I’d want one. Well… another cool uncle—or aunt—would be okay. Like if you found someone who was actually fun to spend time with, I wouldn’t mind. But like, you’re good at the single-dad stuff, or whatever.”
That deserved a kiss to the forehead and a hug. Robbie didn’t make the rules. He just followed them. Sorta. Sometimes. When he felt like it. Especially if it meant showing physical affection. “Thanks, kid. But on that note, I think we’re probably both overdue for bedtime.”
Miraculously, Sawyer didn’t fight him. He just nodded tiredly and headed for the stairs.
“Hey,” Robbie said before he could get too far.
Sawyer turned around.
“I love you, kid.”
Sawyer gave a watery smile. “Love you too.”