Chapter 6 #2
Inhaling the aroma of the rare roast beef, his stomach announced it wasn’t willing to wait anymore, so Cody dug into his food.
Examining their life thread—now shining bright silver—Cody was relieved, then searching his mind, found the wall firmly in place holding back any visions still there.
Happy that he hadn’t suffered a relapse, Cody concentrated on why he’d had a panic attack in the first place.
Revisiting the scene in his mind, it became apparent he over reacted but couldn’t figure out why.
Listening to Cody’s thoughts, Dylon was pleased with Cody’s assessment of the situation and when a frown appeared on his mate’s face, he knew it was time to talk and clear up everything. “The rules are suspended for now, my pet. Tell me what you think happened.”
“Yes, sir,” Cody said, not yet willing to forgo the comfort found there.
“Well, when Norman threatened to leave, I lost it. All I could think of was how I was failing the Fates when they gave me the job to save Kieran, Theo and Norman. I didn’t know what was wrong or how to fix it.
When I started to shake, and I could feel darkness invade my mind, I called for you.
It was the only thing I could think of…I needed you. ”
“I felt it through our life thread first and then heard you calling me. I gave Jake and Jessica to Mom and came immediately.”
“Thanks, but I’m confused why I reacted that way.”
“I think it’s because you haven’t dealt with the guilt you are feeling for not rescuing the boys earlier so now you are trying to make up for it.”
“What do you mean, ‘make up for it’?”
“You are trying to make everything perfect for them…at least what you think is perfect. I’ve listened to you talk to Kieran, Theo and Norman about what you have planned for them…
what they will be doing for the next five years of their lives.
And I understand your motive. I also feel terrible about what these boys went through.
But ma moité, it is their lives and they have the right to make decisions you or I might not agree with but need to respect. ”
“But what if I think they are making a mistake? If they could get hurt? The Fates made me responsible for them.”
“No, my pet, they didn’t do that. The Fates gave you and me the abilities to save the boys…
and we did…but that doesn’t mean we own them.
Kieran, Theodore and Norman are adults…young adults…
but adults under shifter law. Arald took their rights away from them and our job is to give them back.
That’s what the Fates want you to do…to let them decide what they want to do.
We will be there to guide them and help them when they need it, but we must always respect their decisions. ”
“What about traveling to Scotland? Do you think I should have just said, ‘have a good trip’?”
“No, of course not, but why don’t you try telling them what your concerns are and see if they can come up with a solution that will suit them and satisfy you?”
“I thought that’s what we did this morning when I agreed to let them go if your mom went with them.”
“Sort of. I mean the results were the same, but I think we did it backwards. What I mean is this, instead of ignoring them and discussing with Jackson your concerns about them traveling alone, we should have brought your concerns to Kieran, Theo and Norman. Told them what worried us and asked them what their thoughts were about our issues. Because my pet, at the end of the day, the concerns were our issues, not theirs. See what I mean? Treat them as adults and listen to what they have to say…like you do with any of your brothers, or me.”
Reflecting on how he could have handled his worries better, Cody realized what he’d done, and how angry he’d have been if Jackson had treated him like that after their parents died. Groaning, he started to berate himself for being dumb.
“No, you aren’t dumb…just new at this parenting stuff…
especially with young adults who can tell you to take a flying fuck if they want to.
I think our focus should be on building trust with our boys…
showing we respect them and giving them all our love even if we don’t agree with their decisions.
Look at it as practice for when we have other boys joining us. ”
Smiling at Dylon’s ideas, Cody nodded in agreement but then frowned again as he thought about what led to his panic attack. “I ignored Kieran again when Colton was teasing him, didn’t I? Fuck! I need to change immediately or they’ll want to leave, again. Oh, my gods, what if I screw up again?”
“Take it easy, my pet. I’ve got you covered.
I spoke to the boys about how you feel and why you act the way you do.
I asked them to cut you some slack until you become more comfortable with being a parent, and they agreed,” Dylon reassured Cody.
“Oh, and one other thing, Kieran wants to meet with you when you can.”
Cody felt his love for Dylon swell as he grasped how much Dylon cared about him. “I love you, babe, so much,” Cody said, blowing his mate some kisses. “And I’m fine with sitting down with Ki.”
Dylon pushed back his chair, rose, and taking Cody’s hand, pulled him up into his arms where he smothered his mate with kisses and hickeys.