9
The hum of music fills our room. Anticipation of the evening is in the air, as my friends and I prepare for an exciting night.
Maddie and Cassy chat happily to each other while they do my makeup. The energy in the room is infectious and I”m excited. Today there”s a party on campus with live music - it”s really a special night. And I”ve decided to leave my look entirely in the hands of Maddie and Cassy. They know a thing or two about styling, especially Cassy, and my roommate is totally into it. I wanted to think outside the box.
Maddie rummages through my clothes and Cassy”s, looking for the perfect match. They agree behind my back, and hand me a pair of black skinny jeans, a red sequin crop top and rockin” black leather ankle boots. After a moment”s thought, wondering if it”s ‘too much’, I accept, determined to feel sexy.
“Emily, you look stunning,” says Maddie, smiling at me in the mirror.
They clap their hands in satisfaction, happy with their work.
“Thank you so much! You look great too!”
Maddie wears a blouse with the first buttons undone and tight-fitting pants. Cassy opted for a short dress that she wears with boots.
When we finally set off, I feel a mixture of impatience and nervousness. Nights on campus have a special magic - it”s a way of escaping everyday life in familiar surroundings and embarking on an exciting adventure.
Secretly, I hope this night will help me see my friendship with Liam as a ‘real’ friendship. Because so far, I”m having trouble controlling my feelings.
After our kiss, our hot evening and our agreement, I wanted to go and see him. I wanted to tell him that I wasn”t sure I could consider this a simple friendship and that the whole thing made me uncomfortable. I wanted to open up to him about how I felt, to be honest, and above all to stop spinning it all around in my head, night after night.
So, I made my way to the locker room, where I knew I could find him, and I overheard a conversation... It was between him and Coach Franklyn. The coach was telling him that he shouldn”t let himself get distracted, that the partying, the girls, and the mischief Liam was used to, could no longer be tolerated. That the games ahead were decisive for his career. I immediately turned around and went back to my room, my heart pounding.
That day, I vowed not to say a word about my true feelings. So, spending time with my friends is what I need.
On the way to the party, I can”t help but smile. The bond with Maddie and Cassy is special - in good times and bad, we stick together and every minute we spend together is unique. They made my arrival at university so easy that I hardly had time to feel lonely and lost, and for that I”m infinitely grateful.
The lights set up around the campus twinkle and we walk towards the stage. The closer we get, the more the pulsating energy of the music envelops us. I feel more alive than I have in a long time as we immerse ourselves in the mass of people present. Colorful shadows glide over the crowd and the joyful atmosphere carries us along. I let the music guide me, moving my body to the beat and feeling free.
After a few songs, I signal to Maddie and Cassy that I need a drink. We weave in and out of the groups to reach the ephemeral bar set up in a corner of the campus. I slowly make my way to the counter, waiting for the people in front of me to be served, when I find myself standing next to an extremely attractive guy. He looks me up and down and makes no secret of his appreciation. Finally, he looks at my friends and smiles again.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
Determined to distance myself from my feelings for Liam, I nod in good humor. Maddie and Cassy look puzzled, but eventually nod in turn.
He orders for us and we stand to one side to collect our drinks.
“My name”s Lucas, nice to meet you!” he says, handing us our glasses.
I point to my friends and myself in turn.
“This is Maddie, Cassy, and I”m Emily.”
He gives me a more pronounced look, and after what seems like an eternity, he also turns to Maddie and Cassy.
“Are all three of you students here?”
“Yes! Aren”t you?” I ask curiously.
“No, I”m just... passing through. I heard about this party, so I stayed a little longer.”
He stretches out a charming smile.
“I”m not disappointed with the atmosphere on your campus...” he adds, continuing to devour me with his eyes.
“We don”t have parties like this all the time, but it”s true that it”s great,” I chat, a little uncomfortable with his keen interest.
Maddie finishes her drink and gives me a sidelong glance.
Yeah, well, I get it, she”s bored!
“Would you like to come and dance with us?” I suggest, more out of politeness than any real desire.
“Yes!” replies Lucas, determined.
We make our way back into the crowd. Maddie and Cassy are so focused on each other that I have no choice but to dance with Lucas. We move together to the rhythm of the music and the more we dance, the more tension I feel between us. In the end, Lucas”s closeness isn”t so bad, and I end up relaxing. I”ve got to admit, he”s pretty hot too!
“You look beautiful, Emily...” he throws at me between two lascivious movements, a rather explicit sparkle in his eyes.
My cheeks are getting hot.
“Thank you...” I stammer.
He moves closer to me, and one of his warm hands comes to rest on the small of my back. This somewhat daring contact doesn”t bother me, and I let him. He leans closer and I feel his breath on my cheek.
“You and me - maybe we could go have some fun somewhere else, what do you say?”
His words shock me. Flirting, seduction, dancing and touching are all fine. But to suggest that we go off in a corner and have sex, no, I can”t do it.
The dance floor seems to be shrinking and I feel the need to withdraw.
“I”m sorry, but I”m here to enjoy the evening with my friends,” I reply, my voice firm.
He just laughs, a sound that gives me unpleasant chills.
“But you could also enjoy it with me.”
My unease is growing. His advances are insistent, and I don”t want to find myself in a situation I can”t control. He”s always glued to me, and I can”t stand feeling that way.
“No, I’m fine where I am,” I say, trying to free myself from his embrace.
But Lucas seems to tighten his grip. I hastily turn my head towards my friends and, seeing me do so, he reluctantly lets go. His gaze remains insistent.
“Give it some thought. I”m sure we could have a good time together.”
I barely nod and finally move away from him to join Maddie and Cassy. The music and lights around me suddenly seem less exciting and I can”t shake the idea of Lucas”s advances.
My friends look at me with concern.
“How are you, beautiful?”
“I’m fine!”
I try to smile.
Now I”m out of danger. No need to sound the alarm. I glance over my shoulder to see if Lucas is still there, but he seems to have left. I try to concentrate on the dance, but my thoughts won”t let me rest. Lucas” advances have thrown me off balance, and I feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. The evening that seemed so promising before suddenly seems less liberating.
“I”m going to sit down for a while.”
“Oh, you want us to come with you?”
“No, no, enjoy! I”ll be back in a minute!”
I need to get away, take a breath, regain my composure.
Tables and chairs have been set up not far from the ephemeral bar. The atmosphere is calmer, there are fewer people and the music is quieter. I sit down to take a short break. A glass of water will certainly do me good. I”m still slightly dizzy.
Suddenly, I feel someone sit down next to me. My heart quickens a little when I see that it”s Lucas. A self-confident smile spreads across his face and he leans back against the table to look at me intently.
“Hey!” he says, his voice deeper than before.
I swallow.
“I saw you sitting there, all alone, and thought you might need some company. It”s a pity that such a beautiful woman should be without someone at her side,” he continues.
The memory of our previous conversation sends a chill down my spine.
“Lucas, I already told you I”m here to have fun with my friends.”
He smiles insolently.
“Come on, you and I would have lots of fun, think about it. I”m sure deep down you”re not that shy... Besides, I”ve spotted a great place where we could enjoy a moment together...”
At these words, I start to get angry.
“I think I”ve made it clear: I”m not interested!” I exclaim more loudly than I expected.
He then slides a hand over my knee, up my thigh. I freeze at his touch, tetanized.
“You should take no for an answer when a woman says no,” suddenly growls a voice I know all too well from across the table.
Just as quickly, I feel myself lift off my seat and the next thing I know, Liam is between me and Lucas, like a shield.
“Oh, come on! Emily and I are having a friendly chat. Mind your own business, Captain Scott,” retorts Lucas, annoyed.
“Does losing the game make you think you can act like a big jerk?”
“And the fact that you”ve won makes you grow wings, or rather balls?”
I sigh and turn to leave. I don”t have the nerves for an argument between two alpha males!
As I walk away, screams ring out behind me, startling me. I turn around to find Lucas on the ground, his nose bleeding.
Oh boy...
“You”re completely insane! You bastard!” exclaims the latter, a hand pressed to his face as he stands up.
Two security guards come running and narrowly prevent Liam from giving Lucas another blow.
I step back, dumbfounded.
What”s gotten into him? This has gone too far!
Liam and Lucas are battling with security and continue to shout at each other like two rabid dogs.
Lucas Stern! What an idiot! He”s the captain of the opposing team! The one that lost the hockey game.
I sigh.
While Liam defended my honor, he also settled scores with his opponents. And for what? Because they only won by one point? Because he missed a crucial goal?
I really don”t get it. Am I really concerned by his sudden heroic and protective attitude?
It”s definitely too much for me. I must leave.
As I make my way back to my room, my heart pounding, I send a message to Maddie and Cassy to let them know I am home. I say that my period has just come without warning and that I don”t feel up to dancing anymore. Cassy replies that she”ll probably spend the night at Maddie”s so as not to disturb me if I”m asleep.
Once I”m alone, I turn over what”s happened in every direction, struggling to sleep.
***
When I wake up, I”m still angry.
What possessed Liam to hit Lucas?
Without his intervention, I don”t know how the whole thing would have ended. But all he had to do was stop the moment he pulled me to safety. There was no point in breaking his nose...
I look at my phone to check the time and see two missed calls and a message from him.
* Em, how are you? Can we talk?
I wrinkle my nose. It”s absolutely too early for this, so I duck back under my blanket.
After a few minutes of staring frustratedly ahead, I hear the key in the door and Maddie and Cassy”s voices. I sigh silently and extricate myself from the blanket that envelops me like a second skin.
When they see me, they greet me in chorus.
“Hi there!”
“Hi,” I grumble back.
“Oh, someone”s in a bad mood,” says Maddie with a smile, and Cassy laughs heartily too.
Without a word, I drag myself to the kitchenette and make myself a coffee.
“Is it your period that”s making you suffer?” asks Cassy sympathetically.
I feel guilty about my lie and sigh.
“I lied to you yesterday. I”m fine. No cycle on the horizon!”
Maddie and Cassy look at me quizzically, their faces both curious and worried.
“During our dance, Lucas became intrusive. He followed me when I went to sit down, even though I wanted to put some distance between us. It was really scary... Then Liam saw fit to step in and make a scene,” I continue.
“Wait... Liam? Like Liam Scott, the super-sexy captain of the hockey team?” asks Cassy, raising her eyebrows.
I nod.
“He didn”t just intervene, in fact... He hit Lucas...”
Maddie exclaims, wide-eyed.
“They were both separated by security guards. It was too much for me, so I decided to go home,” I finish, hoping they won”t ask me any more questions.
“Two sexy men fought over you, and you”re only telling us now, like you”re telling us about your trip to the library! Well, it”s not as exciting to know that Lucas is a pervert and an asshole, though...” advances Cassy.
“You were having a good time and I didn”t want to spoil your evening,” I say, sipping my coffee.
Maddie looks at me skeptically.
“Why was it so important for Liam to protect you?” she asks, frowning.
“We”ve been seeing a lot of each other lately because of the articles I write, and we get on well. I guess he felt obliged to do it. And Lucas is the captain of the opposing team they beat in the last game. That must explain it...” I say, half-laughing.
No, I”m not lying, I”m just not telling the whole truth!
Maddie and Cassy exchange a glance and I shrug.
To change the subject, I ask how the evening went. Cassy launches into a long stream of words, but when she mentions Chase, I perk up. She”d already flirted with him at the café. But unlike her usual self, she doesn”t dwell on the subject and continues her monologue.
At least they had a good time!
Another message from Liam makes my phone vibrate.
* Em, we can talk, please?
I raise my eyes to the sky. I”d almost forgotten about him! I type a reply before he continues to pester me.
* You hit Lucas and you meddled in a matter that didn”t concern you. I”ve got nothing to say to you.
I feel bad, because I don”t know how my conversation with the other asshole would have ended if he hadn”t intervened. But I don”t want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he”s the hero of the story.
His response follows within seconds.
* I know... I”m sorry. I shouldn”t have done that. Can we meet, please?
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Right now, I really don”t want to.
* Maybe tomorrow, I”ll be in touch.
After sending the message, I switch off my phone.
He apologized, of course, but I”m still angry.
***
The next evening, I decide to give in. I”ve been thinking about it all day and it”s seriously starting to pollute my brain.
The best thing is for us to talk like responsible adults.
After texting Liam, I drive to his house and, a little nervously, knock on his door.
Memories of our evening in his dorm room flood my thoughts and my heart beats noticeably faster.
I shake my head. I really don”t need this right now!
The door half-opens and Liam lets me in after we”ve soberly greeted each other. When I see the couch, images appear in my mind again.
Pull yourself together, Emily.
Liam sits down next to me and hands me a glass of water.
“Why did you have to get involved? Lucas was a bit insistent, yes, but that”s no reason to break his nose. Not to mention that I had the situation under control,” I begin.
Liam sighs. I don”t know if he has a guilty conscience, but he seems to.
“I couldn”t help myself. When I saw you with him, I thought you were doing what you wanted, after all, we were clear about our relationship. But then I noticed that he was insistent and that you were trying to distance yourself. Despite that, he touched you, and that”s when I went off the deep end...” he explains.
I breathe deeply, my feelings still in turmoil.
“But you could have left it at that. That didn”t give you the right to behave like a madman and take advantage of it to settle your ego issues with him.”
He frowns.
“What do you mean my ego problems? Do you really think that all that mattered at that moment was getting him to shut up because we”d clashed before on the ice? You”ve got it all wrong, Emily.”
Now it”s my turn to frown.
“The guy”s an asshole, period. Yeah, I handled it wrong, and violence is a long way from solving everything. But his behavior crosses too many lines. Fuck, you said no! And it”s always the same with him... He needed a beating,” he continues.
There”s a moment of silence between us, and I can feel my anger slowly fading.
“I understand, yes...”
I look up and meet his eyes. He seems to be seething inside.
“Honestly, what kind of guy would I have been if I hadn”t intervened? Yes, I know you could have taken care of yourself that you”re independent in that way. But who the hellwould I have been if he”d dragged you into a corner to hurt you, huh?”
He seems genuinely upset and I”m touched by what I read in him.
“I...” I stammer.
He cuts me off.
“I care about you, Em. I really do. I”d do it all over again. Well, maybe this time I wouldn”t break his nose...”
“Are you going to get into trouble because of this?” I ask, suddenly worried.
He shrugs.
For a moment, we say nothing.
I”m beginning to realize that our relationship is far more complicated than a normal friendship.
I nod and a feeling of reconciliation spreads between us.
***
The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafts through the air as Cassy and I enter the campus coffee shop.
Liam is seated at a table in a corner, with a blonde next to him. They”re obviously having fun together and chatting animatedly.
My mood darkens instantly, and I hate having so little control over myself. Cassy notices my distraction and follows my gaze curiously.
“Checking out your knight in shining armor?”
I force myself to smile.
“No, don”t be silly!” I evade. “I was just thinking.”
In fact, I”m overcome by a feeling I don”t know, like some kind of anxiety.
Could it be jealousy?
The way Liam laughs and talks to her tightens my stomach and turns my heart inside out. Shit... I”ve never been jealous. I find it a terribly unnecessary feeling.
Cassy leans toward me.
“Would you like a cup of coffee?”
I jump.
“Yes, perfect! Thank you so much!”
Our conversation distracts me from Liam and his companion.
I keep glancing briefly over my shoulder, however, and see Liam embracing the beautiful blonde.
A new wave of jealousy washes over me.
Rha! Go away, you horrible feeling!
After our coffees, pastries and quick chats, Cassy bids me farewell and heads off to her class. As for me, I head for the library. I”ve got to write the article on the last game and I can”t waste any more time.
Today, it”s relatively empty. That”s a pity. The soft murmur of people around me always helps me to concentrate on my work. I sit down at a table with my documents and laptop in front of me, ready to launch into my work.
But even with the best will in the world, I can”t concentrate. The image of Liam and the blonde keeps looping in my head. They seemed so intimate with each other, as if there was something between them...
Silly girl! There must have been something between them! Liam has a reputation and you”re just another number on his list.
I sigh in frustration, lean back and close my eyes for a moment.
After all, I”m the one who put distance between us. And obviously, he doesn”t want a relationship right now either, or at least he can”t afford one. But at the same time, he defended me and said he cared about me, right?
Damn it...
I had hoped that working at the library would help me get my head in order and distract me from my feelings, but the opposite seems to be happening. Every time I try to start a sentence of my article, I stall. I can literally feel the sting of jealousy attacking my heart, the questions looping around me, and I hate how much it affects me.
Suddenly, a hand rests on my shoulder, startling me, and when I look up, Maddie is next to me.
“Hey, what”s up, sweetie?” she asks me softly.
I sigh again and shake my head.
“I can”t concentrate on my article at all.”
Maddie sits down next to me and smiles encouragingly.
“Sometimes it”s hard to clear your head, especially when you”re battling thoughts of all kinds.”
I nod in agreement.
“Yes... I thought the library would help me.”
But it reminds me even more of Liam...
She places a comforting hand on my arm.
“What”s on your mind?”
I hesitate for a moment before telling her everything.
My conversations with Liam, our study sessions, our night, then our agreement, my feelings getting tangled, my jealousy...
Maddie opens her eyes wide and hiccups in surprise at times, but she lets me empty my bag. Once I”ve finished, I look up at her in shame. She”s my best friend, and yet I”ve kept all this from her.
“Wow... Emily... Wow!” she exclaims, as if shocked.
“I”m sorry, I should have told you.”
“Don’t apologize! You”re entitled to a secret garden too! You agreed not to tell anyone about your study sessions. Well, I didn”t expect you to tell me you”d slept with Liam Scott. And it sounded really hot!”
I blush in spite of myself.
“But you don”t owe me anything, and I”m glad you decided to talk to me about it. I get the impression that it”s weighing on you a lot...” she finishes.
She pats my arm, sympathetic, and I sigh.
“I hate feeling this way...”
“Jealousy is a natural emotion. It”s important to recognize it and understand where it comes from. And above all, why it occurs.”
I massage my forehead.
“But I don”t want jealousy to rule my thoughts and actions,” I declare.
She smiles softly.
“Instead of repressing it, try to understand it. Why are you jealous?”
I think about it for a moment.
“I wonder if that evening with me meant anything to him.”
Maddie takes my hand in hers.
“These thoughts are normal, but you should also realize that you are precious and unique. And you”re the one who suggested the two of you should be friends. If that”s not what you want, you have to tell him. But if you think it”s the best thing for both of you, then really become friends.”
I didn”t tell Maddie about the conversation I overheard between Liam and Coach Franklyn. And more importantly, why I went to talk to him in the first place. One thing at a time, and I”ve already made some big revelations.
“Thank you, Maddie. You”re right, I shouldn”t let someone psych me out like that.”
“You”re a strong, independent woman!” she says, encouraging me. “And I”m here for you if you ever need to talk.”
I hug Maddie and feel my determination grow.
It”s time for me to pull myself together and stop letting my emotions rule me. I”ll never get far in life if I have an emotional crisis after every one-night stand.
Maddie is simply incredible. She always knows what to say. Sometimes I feel like she knows me better than I know myself.
After she leaves, I”m off for a walk around campus. A little distraction will do me good, and maybe I”ll find the words to write my column.
With my camera in hand, I wander around campus, taking photos of anything that catches my eye. I like to immortalize the everyday and the little details of life. It helps me shift focus when I feel like I”m trapped in my own head.
As I squat in front of a tree and adjust my aim, I notice Chase doing some stretching exercises on a bench.
He smiles at me, and I smile back. I approach him and we chat a little. What a nice guy! Cassy is right to fall for him: he”s open, kind and, let”s face it, really hot!
Suddenly, I feel a shadow looming over me and, looking up, I see Liam standing beside us. The expression on his face is hard to interpret.
“Hey! Emily, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asks, his voice serious.
I bite my lip and suddenly feel uncomfortable.
“Of course!” I reply, feigning detachment.
Without a word, I walk away to a quieter spot. When we stop, I can feel the tension in the air between us.
“What is it?” I finally ask, my voice trying to relax.
We observe each other for a moment. Liam seems to be deep in thought. I see his gaze drift from my eyes to my mouth, and suddenly he closes the distance between us to place his lips on mine.
Caught off guard, I can”t push him away and feel myself engulfed by the kiss I”ve been hoping for with all my heart.
Red alert! Red alert!