Chapter 20
20
ROWENA
Nine weeks pregnant
I survived two days and two nights of extreme proximity with Adrian West. My spine still hasn’t recovered from all the tingling, and I don’t think my shoulders have ever been so wrung with tension—frustrated sexual tension—but I made it.
And now I have an engagement party to organize. True to her word, Ella has put me in contact with her event planner—apparently all investment bankers’ wives have one to plan soirees for their husbands and the occasional party. Since the party needs to be soon, Sophie offered to come to the house to meet me in person right away.
She arrived just after lunch, and now we’re sitting in Adrian’s living room, discussing the details. The first question she asks is what my budget is. I text the query to Adrian and turn the phone to Sophie to let her read the answer directly as it pops in.
Adrian
Don’t make me look skimpy
She smiles. “That should give us plenty of room to accommodate all your wishes.”
The following question is what those wishes are, prompting me to be careful not to replicate my ideas for the actual wedding. At my blank expression, she inquires if I have a wedding planner and gets hired for the job immediately. Next, Sophie rolls me through options for both the wedding and the engagement party. We agree on a sunset event at the beach on 12 July for the party. And for the wedding, I give in to all my Gossip Girl fantasies and ask for a Central Park ceremony on 20 September.
Sophie assures me she has the perfect location at the Hamptons already in mind and a backup in case that one is taken and that she’ll apply for the ceremony permits through the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation right away to secure the best spot.
From venues, we move on to the invitations. Sophie tells me not to stress and that from the past parties she threw for the Harrises she has a list of all the important banking people that must be included in the participations, but to give her an additional list of family and friends on both sides.
That last statement leaves me in a slight panic. I’m not sure what to do with my family. Do I tell my parents the truth? No, I can’t. It’d be better for them to think that I got married, had a baby, and got divorced than to know I’m faking the whole thing and the baby daddy is not even in the picture. Liam. Just like that, another thought I’ve been shoving at the back of my mind barrels down on me.
Cold sweat pools under my armpits as another thought I can’t cope with creeps in. Sophie leaves the house with a promise that we’ll start planning the wedding soon. As soon as she’s gone, I text my best friends to see if they can meet me after work. We’ve texted a few times since I moved in with Adrian, but I’ve been kind of avoiding them. Sometimes it’s easier to fully get on board with this new life and pretend even with myself that I’m happily engaged.
Hunter is the first to reply.
Hunt
If you’ve changed your mind, we can kick Dylan out of the third bedroom, he hasn’t set up the office yet
Right there. It’s difficult to be around people who try to be supportive but who clearly disapprove of my choices. I text back that I haven’t changed my mind but still need to talk to them.
A few hours later, I stare at Adrian’s buzzer, finger hovering over the lobby button. Asking his personal driver to chauffeur me around Manhattan feels so pretentious. But exhaustion drags at my limbs and the lingering morning sickness that gets past the new medication makes the idea of navigating the subway seem insurmountable. Sighing, I buzz for Sam to bring the car around even if I feel like an impostor putting on airs after a mere week into this extravagant life of luxuries.
I grab my purse and a light cardigan—for the air conditioning in the car, which Sam keeps to polar levels. He is already waiting by the curb by the time I get out, dapper as always in his black uniform. Sam opens the rear door with a smile. “Good afternoon, Miss Taylor. Where to?”
“Please, Sam, just call me Rowena.” I slide into the backseat, rattling off the cross streets.
As we weave through traffic, I stare out the darkened window and let my mind wander. It’s been only a week since I’ve seen Nina and Hunter. But after years of sharing a house, it feels like an eternity. I miss the easy intimacy of our friendship, the way we used to talk about anything and everything curled up on the couch with ice cream and wine. Now there’s this huge, invisible barrier between us. And it’s my fault. I’ve barely texted them, and only to give them proof of life. My excuse has been that between the ring shopping and the weekend at the Hamptons I’ve been too busy. But really, I sense their disapproval and it makes me pull away.
“Here we are,” Sam announces, pulling up to the curb. “Just call when you’re ready to be picked up.”
“Thank you so much, Sam.” I open the door myself before he can come around and do it for me, and exit.
A heartbeat later, the car merges back into traffic. I watch it disappear from the sidewalk, suddenly feeling awkward and out of place in my old neighborhood. The summer weather is perfect—hot and sunny but dry for once and not sticky. I should enjoy it, be excited to see my best friends and catch up. Instead, nerves twist in my stomach.
Tugging self-consciously at my skirt, I make my way around the corner.
Nina and Hunter are already seated at one of the small outdoor tables of our favorite café, heads together as they talk. At the sight of them, looking so wonderfully familiar, a bit of the tension eases from my shoulders. I’m still me. They’re still them. We’ll figure this out .
“Rowena!” Nina spots me first, leaping up to envelop me in a tight hug. “Oh my gosh, look at you! You’re glowing!”
“Hey mama.” Hunter grins, stepping in for her own hug as soon as Nina releases me. “Growing a tiny human looks good on you.”
My eyes mist over at their enthusiastic welcome. For a moment I just cling to Hunter, so damn grateful to have them in my life.
“I missed you guys,” I mumble against her shoulder.
“Missed you, too,” Nina says, guiding me into a chair. “We want to know everything. How are you feeling? How’s the baby? And Adrian?”
I draw in a lungful of steadying air, letting it out slowly as I answer in the cheeriest voice I can muster. “I’m good. Better. Adrian got me the best OB in the city, so that’s been great. I’m just tired a lot. But less… stressed, I guess?”
They frown at my interrogative tone so I reassure them that the pregnancy is going well and that Adrian has been nothing but considerate and helpful. I’m purposely leaving out the part where my pulse skyrockets out of control whenever I’m near him.
Once the typical catch-up chatter dies down, I broach the subject I’ve been both dreading and desperate to discuss. “So, I wanted your advice on something.” I fiddle with a paper napkin, not quite meeting their eyes. Still feeling their expectant gazes on me. “Do you think I should tell Liam about the baby?”
Nina’s eyebrows shoot up and Hunter makes a choking sound.
“Absolutely not!” Nina declares. “That jerk lost all rights to know anything about your life the second he started manipulating and gaslighting you. ”
Hunter nods in fervent agreement. “Winnie, that guy is bad news. All he ever did was make you doubt yourself and feel small. What if Liam were the same with the baby? Don’t invite that toxicity back in.”
I worry at my lower lip, conflicting emotions warring in my chest. “I hear you, and I mostly agree. It’s just…” I pause, trying to articulate the nagging sense of unease. “Some part of me feels like the baby deserves a chance to have their father in their life. Not for me, but for them. Is it selfish of me to unilaterally decide Liam doesn’t even get to know he’s going to have a kid?”
Nina’s gaze softens, and she reaches across the table to clasp my hand. “Oh, honey, no. You’re not being selfish, you’re being a good mom. And good moms protect their children from people who could hurt them. Liam’s already proven he has no qualms about crushing your self-esteem. Do you want to risk him doing that to your child, too?”
I flinch at the thought, my free hand instinctively reaching for my still-flat stomach. “No, I don’t.” I sigh. “You’re right, both of you. It’s not fair to my baby to willingly expose them to a manipulator when they’re too little to protect themselves.”
Hunter raises her coffee mug in a mock toast. “Here’s to deadbeat dads staying dead and gone!”
We all laugh, dispelling the somber mood. Inside though, a small, niggling part of me still isn’t entirely convinced. Is it really my place to decide Liam never even finds out he’s a father? I tamp the doubt down and paste on a bright smile that doesn’t quite reach my heart.
There’s a beat of silence that Nina quickly fills. “Tell us, what’s it like living with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Loaded?” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.
“Oh, you know.” I blush. “He’s always busy working, so I have the place to myself a lot. But when he is around, he’s just…” I fumble with my hands, blushing some more. “Like a walking, talking GQ magazine cover. But with spreadsheets. And he’s got this intensity about him that can be overwhelming. But there are moments, like when he’s just talking about something he loves or when he looks at me like…” I trail off, realizing I’m getting into dangerous heart-fluttering territory.
Hunter leans forward, her eyes alight with curiosity. “When he looks at you like…?”
My cheeks warm even more.
Nina and Hunter exchange a meaningful look. “Ooh, sounds like someone might have a crush on her dashing fake fiancé,” Nina teases in a singsong voice.
I toss my crumpled napkin at her. “Oh shut up, it’s not like that! I just meant he’s been a surprisingly good friend, that’s all.”
Hunter snorts. “Sure, a friend.”
“I swear.”
The sun glints off Nina’s oversized sunglasses as she leans across the table, a glint of mischief in her eyes. “The only way to know if you’ve got it bad for your fake boyfriend is to introduce us.”
“Yeah,” Hunter agrees. “We have to meet and vet the guy.”
I roll my eyes. “Nothing is going on,” I repeat. “And I’ll guess you’ll meet him soon.”
“How soon?” Nina seems unconvinced.
“We’re hosting an engagement party, and of course you’ll be invited.”
“An engagement party?” Hunter gasps, her eyes wide as saucers. “When did this happen? I need details, woman!”
Nina chimes in. “Did he buy you a ring? ”
I fumble for my phone. “Yes. It’s gorgeous but I’m too afraid to wear it. Don’t want to get mugged.”
I swipe to the photo and hold it out for them to see. The large, canary yellow diamond sparkles even in the digital image. Their jaws drop in unison.
“Holy shit, is that thing real?” Hunter grabs the phone to get a closer look.
“The diamond yes.” I lower my voice and hiss, “But the engagement is still fake.”
“But the ring is stunning,” Nina adds, peering over Hunter’s shoulder. “Do you think you can keep it after you break up?”
“I don’t know.” A jolt buzzes through my core at the memory of Adrian sliding it onto my finger. Somehow the idea of keeping it after everything will be over feels wrong.
“When’s the big engagement bash?” Hunter asks as she hands my phone back.
“In about three weeks.” I take a sip of my iced latte, the condensation cooling my hot palms. “We’re hosting it at the Hamptons.”
Hunter slams a palm on the table, rattling our coffee mugs. “Three weeks? Oh, hell no, we can’t wait that long to meet the mysterious Adrian West! It’ll be way too awkward if the engagement party is the first time we’re introduced.”
I shift in my seat. “Well, he’s really busy with work and I don’t want to spring too much on him at once?—”
“Please, you two are engaged,” Nina cuts me off with a dismissive wave. “If he’s willing to put a rock that big on your finger, he can handle meeting your best friends.”
“The ring is just for show,” I tell them.
Nina low-whistles. “Regardless. Hunter is right. If you have to fake being in a serious relationship, he has to meet us at some point. ”
I chew my lip, considering the idea. It would be nice to have Adrian meet Nina and Hunter in a more casual setting before the craziness of the engagement party. But will he be up for it? I know how consumed he gets with work…
“Earth to Rowena!” Hunter snaps her fingers in my face. “When can we meet him?”
I fiddle with my straw, feeling so nervous about the prospect of the two worlds colliding. “I have to check with Adrian, but maybe over the weekend? I’ll text you guys once we figure out a date.”
“You better.” Nina points an accusatory finger at me. “I need to see this ‘thoughtful’ side of Adrian for myself.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “I promise you will. Just… go easy on him, okay? He’s not used to being interrogated by overprotective best friends.”
Hunter grins. “No promises, babe. We’ve got to make sure he’s good enough to fake-marry you.”
As we stand to leave, excitement and apprehension about the upcoming dinner bubble in my chest. Will they see what I see in Adrian, or will they think he’s just an overworked hotshot with no scruples?
I push the thought aside, reminding myself it doesn’t really matter what my friends think of Adrian. He’s not my real fiancé.