Chapter Twenty-three
Both nerves and need rattle through me. My skin is on fire, my thighs are aching, and my heart is racing. Part of me wants to run and hide, but a bigger piece, the piece that’s fueling my every move, is desperate to taste him, to feel him, to have him inside of me.
I’ve never felt a need like it. No man has ever made me feel this damn feral.
I’m straddling his lap and I shuffle back a little, reaching for the hem of his shirt so I can see him.
He lifts his arms for me, letting me remove it, and I throw it behind me.
I drop my eyes, taking in the dips and valleys of his abs, the dusting of hair across his chest and the trail that disappears under the band of his pants.
“You’re so beautiful, Silas,” I breathe, tracing every curve of his muscle, hard as stone and honed from years of working a ranch.
He chuckles roughly, “Not sure I’ve ever been called beautiful before.”
My eyes flick back to his, “You are.”
His eyes soften, “I hope you look at yourself the same way you’re looking at me.”
Hands gently push up my top, slow at first, hesitant, and he asks with his eyes if it’s okay.
I dip my chin in a small nod, lifting my arms for him to remove my shirt.
The air brushes on my skin, making it pebble and my nipples peak to the temperature change.
For a moment I want to cover myself, but then I catch the heat in Silas’s eyes, the way he devours me without ever lifting a finger. He looks at me like I am a work of art.
“So damn pretty, Juni,” he growls, “I never want to look away.”
Sliding back down, I settle over the hard length and lean down, cupping his face so I can kiss him.
He cranes his neck back, allowing me between his lips with my tongue while his hands squeeze my hips, slowly rolling me over his cock.
Despite the layers of fabric between us, I feel every grind as if it’s skin to skin, the pleasure only pushing me higher.
It’s a coil, winding tighter the more I move over him, the position allowing just enough friction against my clit.
I’ve had orgasms before, of course, but only ever by my own hand or toys I’ve had to hide.
I could only bring them out when I knew Cal would be away, and I thought it was enough to ease the tension brimming inside of me.
I was always taught sex and pleasure were something to be ashamed of, that getting off was never a guarantee, but I liked sex and I wanted to finish, but it was always denied.
I know my body; I know what I need to do, how I need to angle my hips and move my fingers, but this right here isn’t any of that.
This is a simple, raw need that has me drenching my panties and has my muscles twitching.
It’s the start of my climax, the warning tingles that rush down my thighs, the zaps of pleasure that shoot up my spine…
I’m going to come, and he hasn’t even touched me yet.
As much as I try to stop, I can’t. The finish line is right there and I’m hurtling toward it, but I stifle it, hide it so he can’t see.
My hips stutter, the rhythm disrupted, so I simply deepen the kiss, pushing myself onto him, covering it up.
But I should have known I would never be able to hide it from a man like Silas.
He pulls away from my lips and looks to where my thighs are stretched over his legs, where I’m grinding against his cock.
“You’re close,” he rasps. “Get there, Honeybee. Use me.”
“Oh God,” I gasp as his hands help to keep me moving.
“That’s fucking it, pretty girl. Fall apart for me.”
A whimper escapes me, my hand reaching out for his shoulder so I can steady myself, but I cannot stop. Not when I am right fucking there.
He aids with his hands, moving me over his shaft until I simply can’t take anymore and I fall apart, the orgasm rattling through me, my muscles quivering and a cry on my lips.
“Fuckkkk,” he groans, “my needy girl. Give me more.”
“Please,” I stutter.
His hands turn firm as he coaxes me off his lap, forcing me to stand before him but he doesn’t let me go far, not when his fingers hook into the waist of the leggings I fell asleep in and he begins to tug them down.
He takes my panties with them, and even though I am a nervous wreck, a literal shaking mess, I don’t let it stop this.
The material slides over my thighs and then my knees and shins, and I step out of the leggings, leaving me entirely bare for him.
His hands fall away, one comes up to cover his mouth as he takes his fill with his eyes, looking me over from head to toe.
I burn with every pass, the knot in my lower abdomen tightening even further.
I’m still wet from my orgasm, the aftershocks leaving me sensitive and aching all at the same time.
“I want to taste you,” his eyes flick to mine, “Can I?”
“Taste me?” I question.
His brow twitches. “I want my mouth on your cunt, Juniper.”
“What!?” I gasp.
“Tell me I can.” He begs, “Lift your leg and put it here.” He pats the space beside him, “Let me taste you.”
“I don’t—why?”
His brows lift, “Has anyone ever licked your pussy, Juni?”
My cheeks heat, “No.”
“Goddamn,” His chin hits his chest for a second before molten gold eyes meet mine again, “Let me show you what it feels like.”
“Are you sure?” I ask hesitantly.
He chuckles, “I don’t do anything I don’t want to do, darlin’.”
I wobble a little as I lift my leg, resting my foot where he suggested, and his hand immediately goes to my inner thigh, his lips pressing a kiss to the inside of my knee.
“I’ll stop the moment you tell me to,” he promises, trailing his kisses higher. “Understand?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Hold on to me,” he orders, and my hand goes to his shoulder as his mouth reaches the very top of my inner thigh, the warmth of his breath whispering over my overly sensitive center.
I almost cave right there but hold firm as his lips press to my clit.
The initial touch is tender, just a brush, but a breath rushes from me, the touch shooting pleasure through me like an arrow.
The first swipe of his tongue has stars bursting behind my eyes, and the second has my knees wobbling, fingers curling into his shoulder as a moan slips from my lips.
He goes lower only to swipe his tongue from hole to clit, which he then sucks into his mouth, the tip of his tongue flicking against the sensitive bundle of nerves.
No one has ever used their mouth on me, and I didn’t expect it to feel this good.
His fingers flex against my thigh as he works me with precision, uses his mouth to pull me right back up to the peak, each swipe of his tongue punching pleasure through me.
My whole body feels as if I am standing on a tightrope, every muscle pulled tight and ready to release.
The room is filled with the sounds of my moans, but when Silas slips a single finger into me, not even fully, I completely detonate, crashing around him until I am nothing but putty in his hands.
Slowly, he pulls away, helping me to lower my leg, but he keeps a hold as I wobble, breaths coming out in short, heavy pants. A smirk tugs up his still wet lips as I meet his eyes, “Fucking delicious, Honeybee.”
I can’t help it, I lunge for him, mouth crashing against his a little harder than I meant, but he doesn’t shy away.
My thighs stretch over his lap, and his arms come around me, tightening until I am pressed entirely against him.
I can feel how hard he is, the length of his cock pressing up into my center and I don’t think I have ever wanted something more.
Breaking the kiss, I lift to my knees and tug at his pants, demanding he take them off. His hands wrap around my wrists, stopping me from getting them down.
“I don’t have a condom,” his throat works on a swallow.
“I have an implant,” my voice shakes as I talk, “And I—uh — I’m clean.
Cal and I didn’t really… I got a full workup last month.
I mean, we don’t have to. I know it’s a big thing to do without protection.
” I’m rambling, my cheeks burning the longer he looks at me.
It’s soft, sweet even, so I’m not sure why panic is coursing through me. I shouldn’t have said anything.
“It’s okay,” I continue, “but let me help you.”
“Juni,” he releases my wrists and gently whispers his fingers up the valley of my breasts, “I want to. But I don’t want to rush you.”
“I want you,” I plead, “Silas, I just want you.”
“Bare?”
I nod slowly.
“Lay down for me,” he commands gently.
Trembling, I move onto the bed and lie down, the urge to cover myself coming over me now that we are not touching. The chill of his absence has my skin pebbling but then he stands up and hooks his fingers into the waist of his pants, tugging them down his legs.
His hard, heavy cock springs free, and he takes it into his hand, wrapping his fingers around the shaft to jerk himself a couple of times before he swipes his thumb over the glistening tip to gather up the bead of precum.
I don’t know what it is about him that emboldens me, but he makes me want to do things I never would have done before.
Just like right now as I sit up and wrap my hand around his wrist, forcing him to release his dick so I can suck the tip of his thumb.
The salty flavor hits my tongue, the taste of him making my mouth water for more.
“Jesus Christ,” he groans, “You’re fucking perfect.”
He presses down on my bottom lip and then climbs onto the bed, lying back against the pillows.
“Come here.”
Loosening a nervous breath, I throw my leg over his thighs, but he stops me from lowering against him.
“You’re in control, Juniper.” He reminds me, eyes holding mine, the sincerity catching me off guard. It hits me right in the chest, warms me through. “You are always in control. I will never hurt you.”
“I know.” I breathe.
“You take what you need from me,” his voice lowers, turning a little rough on the edges as the tips of his fingers twitch against my skin, “Use me, Honeybee. It’s all you.”
He finally releases me, but I don’t lower; instead, I find his mouth, and I kiss him with everything I have, pouring every bit of feeling I can muster.
We won’t have forever, but he asked me for right now, so that is what I am going to give him, and he can have all of me for however long this lasts.
I keep my lips on his as I lower, rolling over his shaft slowly, but then he reaches between us and holds the base of his cock, the head of him nudging at my entrance.
A shiver works through me as I start to lower, but I never once stop the kiss, keeping us joined until he is fully inside of me and only then do I stop to catch my breath.
“You feel so fucking good,” he rasps, breath tickling the side of my throat.
“You’re everywhere,” I shift and revel in the groan that vibrates from his throat.
Lifting just a touch, I slide back down him, the stretch part pain, part pleasure, and that groan turns to a whimper.
I’m not sure I ever expected a man like Silas to whimper, his head tipping back, the muscles in his throat pulling taut as his hands tighten on my thighs.
“Fuck,” he moans, voice cracking, “More, Honeybee.”
I do it again and again, watching the pleasure on his face, his lips slightly parted and eyes on fire.
Laying my hands on his chest for support, I grind into him, hips moving quicker, spurred on by his pleasure. I want him to feel the way he made me feel; give him back what he gave me.
I’m never going to want to stop falling into him; I just need to protect my heart.
It’s delicate and won’t survive another break.