Chapter Twenty-eight
My whole body is trembling, palms clammy as I walk away from Calvin.
He shouts after me, his pleas turning to insults, but I tune them out until they’re just noise, there in the back of my mind, but I don’t hear the words.
Silas is tense at my side, his anger toward my ex-husband vibrating his entire body so I reach down and grasp his hand.
It takes him a moment, but then his strong, rough fingers wrap around mine, and the trembling just stops.
He makes it so much easier to breathe.
By the time we reach the stables Ginger is kept in, Cal’s words are nothing but a distant hum, annoying but tolerable, but I completely forget about him when I spot the horse that I truly believe kept me alive for the past five years.
Ginger shoves her head over the stable door, her dark eyes finding me immediately before she lets out a whinny, the sound of her hooves thumping the ground joining it.
“I’m here,” I whisper, stepping toward her and Silas lets go of my hand, keeping a step back as I go to my horse.
Her head tucks over my shoulder, and she practically drags me into the door, lips nibbling at the ends of my hair as she keeps me close.
My soul eases with the feel of her mane on my fingers.
After a few minutes, I gently coax myself away so I can unlock the stable door and get inside. The quicker we get out of here, the better.
“Can you grab the lead rope?” I jerk my chin towards the tack wall behind Silas, and he complies silently, getting all the equipment we need to get Ginger into the trailer. She’s exactly as I left her, though a little dirtier than I would like, but I can fix that.
Once I have her halter in place, I lead her from the stall and toward the exit, guiding her back toward Silas’s truck.
I don’t see Cal anywhere, and his truck isn’t in front of the house anymore.
It’s eerily quiet and apart from the inspectors still loitering by Silas’s vehicle, I still don’t see anyone.
“Where is everyone?” I say as Silas takes the rope from me to get Ginger into the trailer.
“They quit,” it’s one of the inspectors who answers. “About a week ago. First it was one or two, then everyone just left. I think he might have one or two guys still hanging around.”
My brows lift, “Why?”
“Your husband is a piece of work, Ma’am.”
“Ex,” Silas bites.
The inspector’s cheeks turn a little ruddy. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I assure him, “But he’s always been like that, not sure why they decided to suddenly have an issue with it.”
“There’s only so much someone can take.” He shrugs, “But while I have you here, is there anything you can tell me? We have a solid case, but the more information we have, the quicker the case will be closed.”
“Go on,” Silas tells me gently, “I’ll get Ginger settled.”
I give him a nod and give the inspector everything I know. I never thought this was where it would end. That I would have a hand in Calvin’s downfall, but it is what he deserves.
Karma has a way of settling the score, even when you least expect it.
Driving away from Scott Ranch for the second time feels more real than the first. It becomes just a distant spot behind us as we make our way home to Knight Falls, and the fear and anxiety that have plagued me ever since that night no longer exist.
Of course, the threat of Calvin is still very much there; I’m not sure that will ever go away, but this time feels final.
Maybe it’s because I’ve faced him now, told him it’s over, that he doesn’t get to control or hurt me anymore, and so it’s started to close the wounds he inflicted on me.
Do I expect to be magically better? No.
Only time can heal the damage he caused, but I’m free of him. I have that time. And I no longer have to bleed in silence or pretend I wasn’t forced to survive beneath the hand of a monster.
“I’m proud of you,” Silas speaks quietly, his voice a rasp that skates down my spine and makes the hair on my arms stand up. Looking at him, he appears more relaxed than he was only twenty minutes ago, one arm resting on the door, the other on the wheel.
“What for?”
A small smile takes up the corner of his mouth, but he doesn’t take his eyes from the road. “You don’t see your own strength, do you, Honeybee?”
“Not sure anyone can call me strong.” I sigh.
He shakes his head, “You’re wrong. What you’ve done is strong. You’ve retaken control when you had no idea what might happen. That alone takes courage. You faced your monster when you had every right to hide.”
“I don’t want to hide anymore.”
“You should be seen,” he flicks his eyes to me now, only for a second, but I feel it, right in my bones. “Your light is much too bright to be stifled, Juniper.”
He doesn’t say the words, but he doesn’t need to.
He sees me.
We arrive back at Knight Falls and pull to a stop outside the stable house we chose for Ginger, a stall for her already set up and ready to get her settled.
I’ll give her a chance to calm down before I get in there and give her a good groom, but I know she’s going to love it here and she’ll have so much company.
Silas gets her unloaded and hands me her lead rope, leaving me to have some time with my horse.
She walks steadily at my side, but her ears are twitching, picking up on the unfamiliar sounds all around her.
The hollers from the cowboys working in the fields, the bellows from the cattle in pastures I can’t see, and the hundreds of horses that call this place home.
She’s taking it all in, just like I did when I first arrived here.
“Home for now,” I whisper to her, a pang of hurt cracking through my chest. What I wouldn’t give to make this place permanent.
The thought takes me off guard for a moment, and Ginger picks up on my hesitancy, her nose bumping my shoulder.
What happened to wanting out of this state? What happened to traveling and seeing more than just mountains and fields?
Looking over my shoulder, I see Silas at the training ring, hopping over the fence to tend to Dottie, who is prancing, her hind legs kicking out a little in excitement.
His face splits into a grin, matching the filly’s energy, but he also gives her a wide berth so he doesn’t get accidentally kicked as Dottie works out all that energy.
He’s what happened.
Time with him is what happened.
His quiet strength, his raw kindness, and firm grounding. He is an anchor, a rock that holds you down when the sea wants to wash you away.
My stomach flips remembering the tender way he took care of me, how he listened to me, my body, and gave it exactly what it needed. How he kissed me like I were the very moon and stars we had been watching in awe.
He has his own history, his own reasons to steer clear of relationships and be angry at the world, and yet he isn’t. He exists and all I want to do is orbit him.
Shaking my head, I push those wild ideas away.
I gave up on love a long time ago.
Maybe that’s what I need to do too. Give up on the idea of love.
Love hurts.
But why does the idea of not loving anyone hurt more?
I already know the answer, and it’s currently standing in a field with a horse that most people would have given up on.
I sit with Ginger for the rest of the day, and it isn’t until the light slipping in through the doors goes dim and the sky turns a deep, dusty blue, wispy clouds streaking through it, the color of fire as they hang on to the last drops of sunlight that Silas finds me.
He comes to a stop in front of Ginger’s stall, resting his arms on the door as he peers over at me where I’ve made a small seat on a couple of hay bales.
A soft smile touches his mouth, “She good?”
Ginger settled almost immediately, became more relaxed and ate plenty. “Yeah, better than good.”
“And you?”
Swallowing, I meet the eyes of the man who has stolen a part of my soul.
I don’t know how to answer him because yes, I’m okay, but no, I am not.
I am conflicted and confused, and I don’t know how to move forward when I know I’m toeing a line that will either end in heartbreak or give me something I have been missing.
I told him I didn’t want to hide anymore, and I don’t, which is why I find myself standing and reaching for the lock to let myself out of the stable. He steps back to give me room, but instead of leaving; I step right up to him so there’s barely an inch between us and press onto my toes.
His brows twitch into a frown right before I press my lips to his.
I’ve waited to kiss him all day.
I wanted to do it back at Cal’s place, wanted to do it in the truck home, and when we got back here, but I didn’t.
I have been craving his taste. His touch.
He doesn’t move, not for a few seconds, but then his hands go to my waist, and he tugs me into him, closing that final small gap until all of me is pressed to every part of him.
He angles his head to deepen the kiss, and when I part my lips, he wastes no time gaining entrance, his tongue stroking in while his fingers flex at my waist. My shirt is only thin, but it may as well not be there at all with the way his touch brands me.
He sets me on fire, and like a moth to a flame, I’m helpless to stop myself from falling into him.
One of his hands slides down my back, to my ass, where he then squeezes, pressing his hips forward. I whimper at the feel of his hard length pushing into my lower abdomen.
A rumble sounds from his throat in response before he pulls away from the kiss, “The fucking sounds you make.” The words are spoken on a groan, his eyes squeezed shut. “I can’t get enough of you, baby.”
I can’t decide if I prefer Honeybee or baby coming from his lips, but both make my heart race. Running my hands down the ridges of his abdomen, I find the hem of his shirt and tuck my hands under it, letting my nails bite in just a little and revel in the small moan he makes.
“Driving me fucking crazy here, Juniper.”
“I want you,” The words are shaky with need, my muscles pulled tight.
“Here?”
“Anywhere.”