Chapter 38
DRED
Iwake on Christmas morning wrapped around a pillow.
Some of my past holiday experiences have been wildly unpleasant, but last night was the most joyous Christmas Eve I’ve ever had.
Post sex in the elevator, Connor carried me to bed and spent the hour that followed being an absolutely villainous demon by making me come until I was delirious.
Then he spooned me to sleep, lips on my shoulder, nose against my neck.
I roll over, seeking his warmth, but I’m met with cool sheets and an empty space where his body should be.
I crack a lid and glance around. He’s not where I usually find him on off-practice or game mornings—reading the paper in the chair by the fireplace.
I roll back the other way and find my glasses.
A mug of coffee sits on a warmer, along with a bowl of yogurt topped with strawberry compote and a note with my name propped next to it. Anxiety sweeps through me. What if something happened to Meems? Connor would wake me if something bad happened. Still, my hands shake as I unfold the note.
Merry Christmas, darling.
I had to take care of a couple of things and didn’t want to wake you since I kept you up so late. I’ll see you soon.
XO
Connor
I read it over twice more, getting stuck on the XO. Waking up alone on Christmas morning isn’t unusual, but I thought this year I would have a pretty new memory to tuck into my heart.
I throw off the covers and use the bathroom. By the time I’m done putting on clothes, my Babe Brigade chat is blowing up.
Rix
Merry Christmas, Babes!
Shilpa
The three of us wish you the happiest holidays! We’ve been up since five, and Ash was hoping Pavin would be able to unwrap his gifts, but so far he’s more interested in his feet than anything else.
A picture of their adorable baby boy follows, lying on the floor with his toes in his mouth.
Hammer
My view this morning.
Hollis’s back in a pair of plaid pajama pants and a Santa hat follows.
Lexi
My view isn’t quite as nice. A Christmas baby would be welcome about now.
Lexi’s swollen belly and the phrase LOADING pops up.
Hemi
Wishing you the most amazing Christmas!
A selfie of Hemi and Dallas with their families in the background comes next. They’re up in Muskoka where both their parents live.
Essie
Happy holidays, my loves!
A photo of Essie and Nate appears. Nate’s attention is on Essie, not the camera.
I cross over to Dewey and carefully lift him out of his cage, giving him a little love before I put his Santa hat on and take my own selfie. I send it, along with a Merry Christmas.
A moment later, a message pops up in my private messages.
Lexi
Everything okay?
Dred
I don’t know. I woke up alone.
Lexi
Dred
He left a note saying he had to take care of something. I leave for the soup kitchen in half an hour.
Lexi
Maybe he had to pick something up?
Dred
I’m sure that’s it. I’m excited to see you and the girls later today.
Lexi
I can’t wait, and neither can they. You’re welcome to come earlier.
Dred
Thanks. I’ll message when I’m finished at the soup kitchen.
I eat half the strawberries and yogurt and sip my coffee, but my stomach is twisty. Where would he have to go on Christmas morning when everything is closed? I set the spinning thoughts aside, put Dewey back in his cage and feed him, then grab my purse and head downstairs.
The front door swings open as I’m putting on my running shoes.
“This looks like something out of a movie!” a familiar voice makes my heart skip a beat.
A moment later Everly appears, followed by Victor and my husband.
“Dred!” Everly drapes herself over my back and hangs off me like a human cape. “Merry Christmas!”
“Hey, hi.” I cover her arms with mine.
Connor stands behind Victor, hand tucked into his pocket, a small smile on his lips.
I open my arms for Victor, and he steps into them. “Merry Christmas, Dred.”
“Merry Christmas, Victor.”
“We’re coming with you to the soup kitchen!” Everly exclaims.
“And then back here for Christmas stockings and brunch,” Connor explains.
“And then we can explore this place, right?” Everly asks.
“You can explore this place,” Connor agrees.
“That sounds amazing.” I’m lucky my voice doesn’t crack with the emotions clogging my throat. There are probably zero chances I will make it through today without shedding a couple of very happy tears, but I’m holding those for later.
I grab my purse, and we leave the mansion. Victor and Everly climb into the back seat, and Connor follows me to the passenger side.
“I’m sorry you woke alone. I tried to get back before that happened, but I hope the surprise makes up for it,” he says.
“More than you know.” I hug him. “This is a chart-topper Christmas surprise.”
His lips touch mine. “I’m also sorry about my lack of control last night.”
“I’m not. It’s nice to be needed,” I admit.
“I could have needed you in a more civilized manner.”
“I didn’t mind.”
He appears to get lost in my eyes for a moment.
Everly presses her face against the window.
I laugh and pat his chest. “We should set a good example when the children are watching.”
He kisses me on the lips. “Hm, good point.”
Connor helps me into the car, and we drive across town to the soup kitchen.
The four of us spend the next few hours preparing Christmas dinner for people who can’t afford to make it themselves.
It’s sweaty, intense work, but everyone there does it with a smile, because afterward we’ll return to a house full of love with a warm meal of our own.
Soup kitchen prep tackled, we pile into the car with Everly and Victor and drive back to the mansion.
Meems is in the living room in her favorite chair when we traipse in. She’s wearing a green dress, her hair done, looking like she’s ready for a night on the town.
“Isn’t this a picture!” Her smile is wide as she takes in the four of us. “Merry Christmas! How was your morning?” She pushes out of her chair, and I hug her gently.
“So amazing. We made two hundred pounds of mashed potatoes.” My forearms will probably be sore for the next couple of days, but it’s so, so worth it.
“I helped make cranberry sauce,” Everly adds. “This place is amazing! That tree is huge! I’m Everly. We met at the wedding, but it was huge and there were hundreds of people, and this is my brother, Victor. Thank you for letting us crash your Christmas.”
“I remember. It’s so wonderful to see you again.” Meems hugs them. “Connor said he had a surprise, and I can’t think of a better one than this.” She’d already fallen in love with them at the wedding.
“I feel the same way.” My heart is overflowing with happiness and gratitude.
Connor crosses to the massive tree, which is piled with gifts that weren’t there yesterday. He holds up stockings with Everly and Victor’s names. “Who wants to open presents?”
“You have stockings for us?” Victor’s eyes are wide.
“Of course. We all have one.” Connor passes them out, and Everly and Victor sit on the floor cross-legged in front of the tree.
I tuck myself into Connor’s side. “Thank you so much. These two are the best gift.”
He kisses my temple. “I’m glad it makes you happy.”
Everly and Victor dig into their stockings, oohing and ahhing over every little thing.
There are standard stocking items, like chocolate and teenage necessities, but there are also gift cards for Everly for a local bookstore, and ones for her new favorite café where they don’t give her trouble for drinking the unlimited coffee. Victor gets a STEM subscription box.
My stocking is strawberry-themed, and all my favorites are tucked inside—from my preferred body lotion to the bubble bath I splurge on occasionally.
At the bottom is a tiny festive jewelry box with another bracelet, this one holiday themed and clearly made by Connor’s hands.
My heart swells when I realize he’s made one for all of us, and he’s wearing one of his own to match.
Connor kisses my temple after he opens each item in his stocking.
I filled it with his favorite treats, including imported chocolates and maple fudge, as well as a pair of hand-knitted gloves and socks to match the toque I made.
Meems added a few of his favorite childhood candies, and there are small gifts from the twins, too.
He’s so much more relaxed today, no longer in fight mode.
And I feel like I’m part of a real family.
I want to hold on to this, nurture it and never let it go. The lines between reality and fiction have blurred. I wish I knew what Connor’s intentions were. He’s always focused on making me happy, and last night he said it was for me—not Meems. Is that possible?
Once the gifts are opened—Connor assures me he tried not to go overboard for the twins, but he was unsuccessful—we move to the dining room for brunch.
“You could have twenty people in here!” Everly exclaims.
“We used to host Christmas dinners every year,” Meems explains.
“Not anymore?”
“My parents usually go away for the holidays,” Connor explains. “Sometimes Meems goes with them, but she stayed home this year.”
“You can’t go because of hockey, right?” Everly drenches her pancakes in maple syrup.
“That’s right.” Connor nods.
Everly’s mouth pulls to the side. “That’s too bad.”
“It’s okay.” He reaches out and covers my hand with his. “I have everything I need right here.”
Everly’s expression turns dreamy, and Meems’s smile is radiant. I lean in to kiss his cheek, wishing I could see inside his head to confirm that this is the truth.
Everly and Victor stuff themselves silly on pancakes and eggs and a mountain of fruit salad, and after brunch, Connor takes Meems to the guesthouse for a nap.
I don’t want to get my hopes up, but the doctors have been cautiously optimistic.
She still tires easily because her heart is working hard, but her naps have been shorter over the last several weeks.
Everly and Victor take the elevator to the second floor to explore—Everly can’t get over the fact that there is a “for real” elevator—and she and Victor freak out over the library. Eventually they appear at the top of the stairs again.
“This place is amazing!” she shouts.
“It is,” I agree.
“And huge!” She grips the banister, eyes alight with devilish glee. “I want to slide down!”
Victor grabs her by the waist and hauls her away. “This is not the movies, and we don’t need a trip to the hospital on Christmas Day.”
“I almost broke my arm doing that when I was a kid!” Connor calls out as he returns.
I turn toward him with a laugh. “This is not shocking in the least.”
“Better me than my sisters.”
I thread my arm through his, and rest my cheek against his bicep. “How’s Meems?”
“Happy but tired.” He kisses the top of my head.
Everly and Victor run down the hall to the east wing, shrieking and laughing.
“Thank you for bringing them here today.”
“It was the least I could do after you endured yesterday. And you love them,” he says.
“I do.” I look up at him. And I love you, too. I want to say the words, but fear keeps them inside.