Chapter 51
CONNOR
I’ve come full circle as I knock on my wife’s apartment door—the one I made hers as a wedding gift. I’m hoping to move her back home sooner rather than later, but first...
The door opens, and my aching heart feels suddenly whole again. Mildred is wearing jeans and a T-shirt—I told her we were going casual tonight—her hair hangs loose around her shoulders, and I can see my reflection in her glasses. I look like the love-sick fool I am.
I rub the back of my neck because I don’t know what else to do with my hands. “Hey.”
She smiles up at me, warm and welcoming and perfect. “Hi. Want to come in for a minute?” She steps back, giving me room to enter her apartment. “I just need to feed Dewey, and then we can go.”
“Can I hug you first?” I ask.
Her expression softens. “Yeah. I’d love that.”
She opens her arms and steps forward. I wrap my arms around her and drop my head, nosing my way through her hair so I can get to her neck. “I’ve missed you.” Her strawberry-and-vanilla scent blankets me in a wave of hope and comfort.
She runs a soothing hand down my back. “I’ve missed you, too.”
All the broken parts of me seem to mend with her closeness and that admission.
Eventually she releases me, and I follow her to Dewey’s enclosure. “Can I say hi to him, too?”
“Of course.” She carefully retrieves him—this cage is much smaller than the one still at the manor—and our fingers brush as she passes him to me.
“It’s been hard to sleep without the sound of him rustling around,” I admit as I rub his belly.
“Once you get used to it, it’s tough to get unused to.” Mildred nods and scratches the top of his head.
He makes his snuffling sound and starts crawling up my chest while Mildred prepares him a snack of fresh fruit and mealworms.
“It’s been hard to sleep without you next to me,” I add.
She nods and smiles. “It’s been the same for me.”
Hopefully, if today goes well, the restlessness will end for both of us.
My gaze catches on the paperwork scattered across the kitchen table. “You aren’t still working on program proposals, are you?”
“No.” She sets the food in Dewey’s cage. “I moved forward with my foster parent application.”
“For Everly and Victor?”
She nods. “I want them to have a real home.”
I smile. “I looked into it after Christmas, to see what was involved.”
Mildred’s eyes flare with surprise. “You did?”
“Yeah, but Meems’s surgery distracted me. I started the paperwork last week, after the library gala.” I set Dewey back in his enclosure. After Mildred said yes to a date, I wanted to be prepared for any possible outcome, particularly the best one.
“Seriously?” Mildred’s eyes fill with tears.
I nod. “I didn’t want to take them back after Christmas.”
“Me either.” She settles her hand against my cheek, exhaling an unsteady breath. “But one step at a time. Take me on a date before we start talking about fostering teenagers.”
“Okay, darling.” I turn my head and kiss her palm. “I have something for you.” Many somethings, but one at a time. I roll the too small bracelet off my wrist and onto hers, where all the other ones I’ve given her live now.
She smiles and runs her fingers over the beads that read Connor + Mildred + First Date. “I love that you’re commemorating our special moments.”
She kisses my cheek, and then we head to the front door where she puts on her winter boots, and I help her into her jacket. The door across the way swings open when we leave her apartment, and Flip pokes his head out.
He arches a knowing brow. “Glad you got your head out of your ass.”
“Me, too,” I agree.
“Nice move at the gala the other night.”
I tip my head in acknowledgment. “It felt right.”
Flip nods his approval. “Treat my best friend like the precious gem she is.”
“I promise I will.”
“Good. I wouldn’t want to have to punch you in the face again.” He disappears inside his apartment.
“You two seem okay,” Mildred observes. “Apart from him punching you in the face.”
“That had been a long time coming, and I deserved it.” For what I did back at the Hockey Academy and what I did to the woman standing beside me.
We take the elevator to the lobby and step out into the cold winter afternoon. Mildred huddles into her jacket as a gust of wind ruffles her hair.
I help her into the car before I round the hood and take my place behind the wheel. “Would you like me to tell you where we’re headed?”
“Is it outside of the city?”
“No, it’s fairly close.” I shift the car into gear.
“Then no, you can surprise me.” She rests her arm on the center console.
That feels like a gift. I cover her hand with mine. “Thank you for saying yes to a date.”
“It would have hurt too much to say no.” She flips her hand so we’re palm to palm. “How is your family? How are Isabelle and Portia?”
“My sisters are okay. This thing with my father really shattered the facade for Isabelle. She’s tired of playing her role. I think my mother is, too.”
“Would she ever leave?” Mildred asks. “Would any of them?”
“I don’t know. Probably not my mother. But maybe Izzy.” She’s struggled the most with the betrayal. “She’s young, and there’s so much life left for her to live. I don’t think she wants to spend it being unhappy.”
“She has too big a heart,” Mildred agrees. “How do you feel about all of that?”
“I expected to feel more vindication. I’ve spent my whole life being the family embarrassment, but maybe I was just a convenient shield for my father.
If everyone was always looking at me, they wouldn’t be focused on him.
Mostly I’m sad for my mother and sisters and Meems and the way this has affected them.
The donation to the library has at least helped smooth things in the eyes of the media.
And my mother’s commitment to upholding the Grace family name is both impressive and an imprisonment. ”
“I’m really proud of the way you flipped the script on your father,” Mildred says. “So was Meems.”
“She’s been pretty pissed at me.”
Mildred smiles. “I know. We talk every day. She told me not to fold too quickly.”
I laugh. “Meems would not want to make this easy for me, considering how hard I made it for myself.”
“I think you learned the lesson,” Mildred says wryly.
“I’m making a personal vow to only learn these lessons once from now on.” I rub my thumb over her knuckles, so grateful to have her close again. “How are Everly and Victor? I’ve been messaging them, but sometimes Victor is hard to get a read on.”
“They’re excited about this date. I think Everly is hopeful, and Victor is more cautious. They’ve been let down a lot.”
The wash of guilt makes my heart clench. “I’m sorry I contributed to that.”
“They understand that you were under a lot of stress.”
“Doesn’t excuse my inability to see how it affected anyone but me.” The impact of all the hurt I caused has been sobering.
“Stop beating yourself up over things we can’t change, Connor.” She squeezes my hand. “We’re here and moving forward. They’re resilient, and so are we. We wouldn’t have gotten ourselves into this in the first place if we weren’t.”
I park in a public lot and guide her down the street. It’s a busy afternoon, with people out shopping despite the biting cold. Mildred stays close, hugging my arm and tucking her chin into the collar of her coat.
“Here we are.” I hold the door open and usher her in.
Her glasses fog up immediately. She takes them off and looks around, a smile curving her mouth. “A bookstore. It’s like you know me.”
“Not just any bookstore.” I take her glasses and use a cleaning cloth to rub away the moisture before I carefully set them back in place. “The best bookstore.”
She looks around, eyes widening in surprise. “Oh wow.”
“They just opened this week.”
It’s like walking into a storybook. Archways made of old library books frame each aisle. “It’s romance focused, and for every three books purchased, one is donated to a charity organization of your choice.”
“This is incredible.”
“Shall we browse?”
“Please.” I grab a book basket, and Mildred links her arm through mine.
She leads me down the romantasy aisle, and we scour the shelves of new and gently used books. She points out favorite authors and favorite titles, noting the ones she thinks I would like and adding books to her basket as we go.
We spend two hours browsing, picking for her, Everly, Victor, and Meems before we grab coffees and settle into one of the plush couches. Mildred nestles into my side while we read one of the books she selected together, like we often used to do in the library at home.
I press my lips against her temple, comforted by the weight and warmth of her against me. “I missed having you close.”
She looks up, eyes meeting mine. “I missed everything about you.”
My gaze drops to her mouth.
“You shouldn’t look at me like that when we’re in public,” she whispers.
“Then you and your lips should try to be less audaciously tempting, darling.”
“Still such a villain…” She laughs.
“Still such a beautiful menace,” I note.
She licks her lips, voice barely carrying across the space between us. “You should make a scene.”
“A big or little one?”
She holds her fingers apart the tiniest bit. “Just a little one. I want to come here again.”
I tuck my finger under her chin and bend until my lips almost touch hers.
“I can’t express how devastated I was when I thought I might never have the chance to make another memory like this with you.
” I brush my lips over hers. “I promise to give you the best versions of me, and to put that cruel part of me to rest. He’ll be buried for good now. ”
Her palm rests against my cheek, her eyes warm with approval. “There’s my sweet villain.”