Chapter 51 #2
“You’ve been through a lot over the past six months, honey. Be gentle with yourself and with him, okay?”
“I’m trying.”
We hug it out before we bring dessert upstairs.
Phillip moves to my side the moment I’m back in the kitchen, offering his assistance. I desperately crave the contact and tuck myself under his arm.
Fenna rushes to the freezer, then props her hands on her hips. “We’re out of ice cream.”
“That’s my fault.” Ties grimaces and rubs the back of his neck. “I could walk to the store.”
“The corner store doesn’t have the good stuff,” Fenna points out.
Hubert, the new family dog, appears in the hallway, carrying his leash, tail wagging excitedly.
Mom and Dad have a brief, silent conversation and it makes my heart hurt all over that despite everything, they couldn’t make it work.
“Why don’t you go pick some up from the grocery store, and your dad and I will take Hubert for a quick walk,” Mom suggests.
“I’m going with you to get ice cream because you always get the wrong kind.” Fenna heads for the front door.
“You mean I always get the kind I like instead of the kind you like,” Ties says, following her.
“Phillip and I will get the table ready,” I offer.
I’m sure my mom is doing this to give us a few minutes to ourselves, which is kind of her, but I’m worried I’ll break down the moment they leave.
Two minutes later, Phillip and I are alone in the house.
He moves to stand in front of me, hands sliding up my arms, palms coming to rest against the side of my neck. I need the contact. Crave it. He’s everything, and I’m so freaking scared of how I feel and how he feels and all the things we haven’t said.
“Did your mom say something?”
“Not something bad.”
“Why do you look like you’re on the verge of tears, then?” His brow is furrowed, his eyes slightly frantic.
“Can we have a serious talk later, because if we have one now, I’ll start crying and Fenna will call me out for having puffy eyes, and it’ll be embarrassing.”
He swallows thickly. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“No.” I love you. I’m head over heels for you. I’m so deep it terrifies me. “That’s the last thing I want. It’s just been intense, and I wanted tonight to go well, and for it not to be an interrogation and make it even harder.”
He wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest, lips at my temple. “We’re almost through it. When we get home, I’ll take care of you, okay? We can check another fantasy off the list.”
An idea hits. Is it a good one? Probably not, but I also don’t want to get up in my head or for Phillip to ask more prying questions and end up in tears before dessert.
I glance toward the stairs leading to the second-floor bedrooms. “What if we could check a box on my fantasy list off now?” I swallow down the anxiety.
I desperately need the connection with him.
He nods slowly, eyes darkening. “How long will your parents be gone?”
“At least fifteen minutes.”
“Ties and Fenna?”
“Probably the same.” Fenna always needs to walk through the snack aisles even if we’re only there for one item.
“Do you want to show me your bedroom, kitten?”
I nod, body already warming with the promise of intimacy.
“Take me there.” He curves his hand around mine and I guide him to the stairs.
My heart is racing, my mouth already dry. Phillip in my bedroom is one of my top five ever fantasies. I want it to make us better, to erase the uncertainty eddying between us.
My name is still fixed to the door in vinyl letters. Nothing in here has changed since I went away to university, but everything about me and my family has.
I step inside and flick on the light. I try to see it through Phillip’s eyes, but it’s impossible.
Posters of my favorite dancers adorn the walls, along with a collage of Terror photos from my high school internship.
This room belongs to a past version of me.
One where my family was still intact, and I believed my parents’ love was forever.
“This is exactly what I would have expected from high school you.” Phillip’s gaze skips over the space and lands on my bed. It’s a twin, the comforter dance-themed, like the rest of my room.
“I’m that predictable, huh?”
“Not at all, but this matches the version of you I knew back then.” He pulls me toward the bed, gaze moving to the Terror collage, which is positioned so I had a perfect view of it while lying in bed.
“There’s a lot of me in those photos,” he observes, lips ghosting the edge of my jaw.
“I’ve always liked looking at you.” I tip my head and close my eyes, trying to focus on the feel of his hands, and not get lost in worries or memories.
“Especially when I was alone at night.” Part of me wants to hold back the way he does, but the admission pours out of me, “You were responsible for my first orgasm.”
“I’ll be responsible for your last one, too.” He spins me around, my back to his chest, erection pressed against the small of my back. “If your dad catches me up here, he’ll end me.”
“He’ll never know.” Anxiety makes my voice tremble. I focus on sensation, on the quiet of the house, on the memory of wanting him exactly as we are now.
“He can’t. He’ll take you away from me if he does.” He eases a hand under my sweater, sliding up to cup my breast. The other trails down until he reaches the hem of my skirt. I shiver when his fingers graze bare skin, the fabric bunching as it rises.
I moan when his fingers skim my clit.
“Shh, shh.” He kisses my cheek. “I need you to stay nice and quiet.” He cups between my legs. “Can you do that? Can you be my good girl, Tally?”
“I’ll be quiet,” I promise.
“I’ll be so good to you,” he murmurs. “So good for you.”
Something feels…off. Like we’re wearing masks and not quite present in this moment. I push the fears aside. He’s doing this for me, giving me the fantasy I’ve always dreamed of.
He walks us forward until my knees hit the edge of the mattress. “On your stomach, kitten.”
I stretch out across my comforter, eyes on Phillip’s reflection in the mirror on my closet door. His belt buckle clinks as he unfastens it with one hand and flips my skirt up with the other. His nostrils flare, and he sucks in a breath. I’m wearing a thong. White with little pink hearts on it.
I bite my lip and watch his reflection as I press my hips up. His pupils dilate as he takes in my bare ass.
He tucks one finger under the thin string and drags it down the divide. “So fucking perfect, and you’re all mine, aren’t you?”
I nod, nipples tight, body humming with need.
“Say it, Tally.” He slips a finger between my thighs. “Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours,” I moan as he pushes inside.
He withdraws immediately and slaps my ass cheek. Not hard, but it startles me.
I shriek, and suddenly he’s blanketing my body with his, lips at my ear, voice shaking as he growls, “I can’t fuck you if you can’t stay quiet, Tally.”
“I’ll be good.”
He kisses my cheek. “Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“Good girl. You’re so fucking sweet.” He lifts his head, eyes meeting mine in the mirror across the room. “Promise you’ll always be mine.” The same desperation I feel is echoed in his voice and his gaze.
“I’ll always be yours,” I whisper.
I turn my head, trying to reach his lips, but like everything else, he’s just out of reach.
“I want to feel you.” He bites the shell of my ear, cock rubbing against me. “I need you.”
“I need you, too,” I whimper and press my ass against him.
He slips a hand under my cheek and turns until his lips touch the corner of my mouth as the head nudges my entrance. “Tell me if this isn’t okay. Tell me if you’re not okay with this.”
It takes me a moment to catch up. He wants to go bare. And I’m so frantic for any piece of him, that I’ll take whatever he’s willing to give. “It’s okay. I just need you in me.”
He groans with relief as he pushes inside. Filling me. Pressing me into the mattress as he bottoms out. “You feel so fucking good, kitten. You always feel so fucking good.” He nuzzles my neck. “I can’t get enough. I’ll never have enough.”
I bite the inside of my cheek and whimper softly.
Phillip tips my chin and presses his cheek to mine as our eyes meet in the reflection across the room. “Your parents will be back any minute.”
I clench and shudder as he rolls his hips, fear and pleasure merging.
“You’re being so good.” He kisses my cheek. “You feel so good.” His hips pull back and he slides back in. “I want you to come for me.”
“Oh God.” I grip the comforter and bite my lip to stifle another moan.
“And as soon as they walk through the door, I’ll fill you with my cum.
I wish I could watch it drip down the inside of your pretty legs, but then I’d never get to do it again,” he laments.
“I’d never get to keep you if they knew the truth.
” He pumps into me, the bed creaking with every rough thrust. “You’re not their good girl anymore, are you, kitten? ” He kisses my neck. “You’re mine.”
It feels like neither of us is really here. We’re bodies moving, panted breaths, desperately seeking a connection we can’t hold on to.
I say the words and try to make them true. “I’m yours.”
“Mine.” He props himself up on one arm, the other sliding under my hip. He slips his hand inside my panties and rubs circles on my sensitive clit. “Tell me again. Say it, Tallulah.”
“Only yours,” I whisper.
“All of you. Every part.” His lips brush my cheek, hot eyes locked on mine. “Any second now, they’ll walk through the door.”
“Phillip,” I whimper.
“I need you to come for me. I need you,” he begs.
My stomach tightens, and sensation rockets through me as I unravel.
Phillip covers my mouth with his, swallowing my moan.
His hips slap my ass, hard and fast, the bed groaning with the force.
If they walk through the door now, they’ll know.
He pushes in deep and goes rigid above me, a snarl of satisfaction humming against my lips.
He lies there for a moment, his full weight pressing me into the bed. The sound of Hubert barking outside my window, which faces the front of the house, has him quickly withdrawing.
I feel the emptiness everywhere. He grabs tissues from the nightstand and gently wipes between my thighs. I roll onto my back as the code is punched into the door.
He quickly tucks himself into his pants and fastens them. “I’ll go down, take a minute to catch your breath.”
He kisses me on the cheek and leaves me lying on my childhood bed, that emptiness spreading through me. I wanted this to bring us closer, but it feels like it’s cleaved us in two instead.