Chapter 3
Chapter Three
HARPER
“Okay, Lucky. Today is going to be a good day. The bakery is doing well. I have three cake orders coming in. The sun is shining. The tank is clean.” I paused and looked down at my amazing dog and realized he did not get my humor.
“The tank is clean? You know, from one of the best movies of all time. Finding Nemo? We just watched it like last week.”
Lucky yawned, showing all of his teeth, before he padded to the front door.
With a sigh, I stuffed my feet into my running shoes and tossed my hair up into a bun. I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror and held back a wince.
I dyed it dark a few months before on a whim and didn’t quite regret it, but I still wasn’t sure what I thought of it.
I missed my red hair, just like I missed being blonde, or having pink hair that one time.
But going at my hair with boxed dye during a night where I hadn’t been able to breathe out of loneliness and fear, hadn’t been the greatest decision.
At least I hadn’t been drinking at the time.
It had been close, but no. Thankfully my hairdresser had saved the day and made sure that I hadn’t completely destroyed my hair.
But I was stuck with this color for a while.
Because if I went and tried to bleach it, it would probably fall out.
Of course, the dark hair just made my face look paler than usual, and I couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under my eyes.
“It’ll get better. They say it gets better.”
If I kept telling myself that, maybe I would believe it. Not yet, but maybe one day.
Lucky barked, something he really did well inside, and I cringed. “I’m sorry, baby boy. Let me get your things. And we’ll go on your W-A-L-K.”
His entire body wiggled, starting from his tail all the way to his nose, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I loved my baby boy. Yes, we were both getting older, and the white around his face was growing over time. But we were okay. We had to be. After all, it was just the two of us.
I swallowed hard, ignoring the familiar sharp stab of pain that came whenever I thought about that. It didn’t help anybody if I dwelled on what I didn’t have. I could barely dwell on what I did have.
I hooked Lucky into his harness, and we headed down the stairs to the small walking path.
I wasn’t opening today, and for that, I could only thank the gods. I needed some time to just breathe. To get ready for the day.
My team could handle the bakery, and then I would work on the baked goods in the back.
I had a whole list of cakes and cookies that I needed to make, and others that I wanted to.
The others could deal with customers and put on the smiling faces they didn’t have to lie about.
And hopefully nobody would notice I spent less and less time up front.
And if the others never noticed that I’d stopped going out on dates or letting them set me up, the better. I hadn’t meant to be a twenty-something virgin, but the idea of dating or dealing with people made my entire body stiffen.
I was just fine as I was, thank you very much.
Again, the lies seemed to be coming easier.
I began my jog, Lucky prancing beside me. I was barely above five feet, so my version of a jog for anyone else would be a fast walk. But Lucky didn’t mind my pace.
A few people nodded at me as they walked past, and I was grateful that the first set had been tourists who didn’t recognize me.
It was still cold enough outside since it was late January that, though the sun was beginning to shine brightly, there was still snow on the ground and an icy chill in the air.
But I had warm enough clothes on, and Lucky was in his element. My dog loved snow.
Thankfully we lived in a mountain town in Colorado, so he got his fill of it.
I probably wasn’t going to get tired of it anytime soon, but if I did, I would head to the resort and go annoy Scarlett.
She was the manager, and I’d be able to sit in front of the large fireplace with a book and pretend that I was happy.
I nearly tripped over my own feet.
Pretending. Well, that wasn’t the greatest thing to come to mind. I didn’t want to pretend I was happy. I wanted to be happy.
It had been a year now since Joshua had died, a year since my life had changed radically.
How was I supposed to go back to normal?
“Harper. Oh Harper.”
I held back a cringe as Ms. Patty came forward.
She was bundled up and looked adorable in her white puffy jacket and cashmere scarf.
Her hat was perfectly knitted, and I knew she had done that herself.
The mayor’s wife was the Jill of all trades as she called herself. Everything she touched was perfect.
I tried not to think about the stains that were probably on my leggings, or the hole in my glove.
The idea of using Joshua’s life insurance had nearly broken me.
I’d done the only thing I could with it, however—other than leaving it in the bank—and put it toward the bakery.
He hadn’t had too much equity in his home, so all that money had just gone into overhead with the increasing cost of being a business owner.
And it wasn’t like I had the energy to go out and shop and buy pretty things. Who would see them anyway?”
“Hi Ms. Patty. Good morning.”
“Good morning. I went over to the bakery to get a Danish and didn’t you see there. But I see you’re here with this lovely boy. Hello, Lucky.”
Lucky sat, wiggling, and held up a paw.
“Good morning, dear boy.” She shook his paw, despite wearing cream-colored gloves, and I warmed towards the older woman.
She loved gossip. She didn’t thrive on it like some people, but she always wanted to know what was going on.
The mayor’s wife was also kind enough to back away if someone truly didn’t want to talk about it.
She didn’t dig deep. Didn’t play with lives in a callous way.
She was the queen of all things Cage Lake news and knew everything that went on in Cage Lake.
Including as much as she could about the Cages themselves.
That hollow feeling echoed inside, but I ignored it.
I didn’t see much of the Cages these days.
It wasn’t that I was actively avoiding them, it was just easier if I did.
Now that Isabella had moved to town, I saw her often enough, but she and Weston had spent most of the winter down in Denver with the other Cages, so I hadn’t seen her too much recently.
And Hudson liked hiding in his cabin. He still came into the bakery every once in a while to check on me. I wanted to think it was because he liked me, but with the scowl on his face, I had a feeling he was doing it because of Joshua.
Because somebody had to do it. It wasn’t as if Dorian was doing it anymore.
He hadn’t been back to town since the accident.
I hadn’t seen him since the funeral. Just a few texts here and there to make sure I was where I was supposed to be, and then the person who had mattered more to me in my life than anyone other than my brother had ghosted me.
But that was fine. I needed to learn how to be alone. I was getting better at it.
“How are you feeling, Harper?”
Ms. Patty reached out and gripped my forearm gently before patting it, bringing me out of my reverie.
I hated that question. What kind of answer were they looking for?
If I wasn’t doing okay and I told them, they wouldn’t know what to say.
Nobody wanted true honesty when they asked you how you were doing.
You were just supposed to say you were doing fine so they could either believe you or see through your lies and pity you. Nobody had any answers.
What were you supposed to say when your brother died in a fucking plane crash?
My brother had only reached thirty a couple of months before he died and hadn’t even settled in on who he wanted to be in his life. And now he was gone, and I was just supposed to move on and pretend like I knew what the hell I was doing.
“It’s a lovely day, isn’t it? As long as I have the sun on my face, and this guy right here, it’s going to be a good day.”
Not quite a lie, and not quite an answer. And Ms. Patty saw through it all. But thankfully she let me off with just a smile.
“It’s good to see you. I’ll stop by later. I want to get Mr. Mayor something special for his birthday. And you know how he loves that fudge cake of yours.”
I held back a smile at that, because I loved how she called him Mr. Mayor. I had a feeling that when the man finally stepped down from his position and somebody else took his place, he would always be Mr. Mayor to her.
The two loved each other more than anything, and though sometimes the cloying and closed-in feeling of living in a small town was almost too much for me, I did love Ms. Patty.
“Well, you know me and fudge. I can’t say no.”
“Same here, but I try not to overindulge.”
“There’s no such thing as overindulging. Not when it comes to fudge cake. You can have as much as you want and never feel guilty.”
“I like that. What a great concept.”
“Food is food. Not bad, only food. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you both happy with fudge.”
“Now, that’s what I like to hear. I’ll let you finish your run. I know we’re going to get a couple flurries later, so I will see you soon.”
“Sounds good.”
“And take care of yourself, Harper. We’re all here for you. You are not alone. Not in Cage Lake. We’re always here for each other.”
I hadn’t been prepared for the blow. I should have been, because Ms. Patty was truly trying. She wasn’t being cruel, just being herself. A caring person who wanted me to know I wasn’t alone.
Only I was.