Chapter 15 #2
I should have walked into the room with David, but instead, he took Mama’s arm, and they followed Julia and me.
David and I sat next to each other, and every so often, I had to remind my hands to keep to themselves.
It would have been so easy to take his hand or brush some nonexistent lint from his shoulder.
If I’d been a true wife to him, my fingers would have sought his throughout the meal.
Perhaps I should have done all of those things—I was bound and determined to do everything on David’s list, including touching him in these kinds of ordinary ways.
But I didn’t feel ready to start on the list yet.
After finishing the pudding the staff had made to celebrate the wedding, Julia and Mama stood simultaneously.
“It has been a very eventful day,” Mama said. “I believe I will retire early.”
Julia nodded her agreement. She walked to our side of the table and kissed David on the forehead and me on the cheek.
Mama followed her, kissing both of my cheeks and tearing up slightly.
Then turning to David, she grabbed both of his cheeks and to my complete mortification, placed a quick kiss on his mouth.
David’s eyes widened, but thankfully, he laughed.
Mama put a hand on her hip, unrepentant. “I won’t be making a practice of that, but I want you to know how happy you have made us. I’m proud to call you my son.”
Then they were gone.
David and I were alone, in our shared home, as husband and wife.
He sat back in his chair, reached for my hand, lifted it to his mouth, and kissed it. I inhaled sharply. Mama wasn’t here, and despite his kiss this morning, I’d thought such little touches would be saved for when she was near.
“Mrs. Tate,” David said, “I hope you found the day agreeable?”
I nodded, not trusting my voice. I was a married woman, and I was married to a vibrant man with the kindness of angels. The fact that only weeks ago, I’d thought I may have to marry someone as unlikeable as Mr. Green was not lost on me. My life had taken a dramatic turn for the better.
Footsteps sounded in the corridor just outside the dining room door. After spending so much time in a small cottage, the vast and nearly empty rooms of Tate Hall seemed to make the noises of the servants’ busy work echo around us.
David dropped my hand and smiled a half-smile.
He coughed softly and ran a hand through his hair, mussing it in a way that reminded me that despite how much he’d grown, despite his skilled thatching hands, and despite the fact that he now had a wife, he was still young. “Should I show you to your room?”
He was not, as it turned out, so very young as to not make that sentence loom with meaning, even if he hadn’t meant it to. I nodded. “Yes, you must be exhausted.”
“I suspect I will fall asleep immediately tonight,” he said with a small chuckle. “Finding myself a wife cost me a full night of rest.”
He kept hold of my hand and pulled me forward.
We left the dining room and climbed the stairs to a long corridor.
We passed several doors on each side while we walked down it but didn’t stop until we arrived at a door that stood at the end of the corridor.
David paused with his hand on the doorknob.
“This was my mother’s room. It hasn’t been used for over thirteen years.
I didn’t give the servants long to prepare it, so if you need anything—anything at all—ring the bell, and they will see that you have it. ”
He opened the door, and I gasped softly.
I’d never seen a more beautiful and unique bedroom.
We were directly above the octagonal drawing room and my bedroom was the same shape.
Four large windows with rose-colored drapes took up half of the eight sides, making it feel as though if I stood in that part of the room, I’d be practically in the back garden.
The bed was large and tall with drapery that matched the curtains on the windows.
It took up one of the four remaining walls, and a wardrobe occupied another.
The last two walls held doors, the one we were standing in and another one I suspected led to David’s room.
“Oh, David, it’s lovely.”
“It is, by far, my favorite room in the house.” His thumb traced my knuckles almost absentmindedly as he inspected the room from the doorway. “And now that it is yours, I think I may love it even more.”
We stood unmoving. I wanted to rush in, jump on the bed to test its softness, then throw the drapes completely open and bask in my view, but that would mean parting from David, and I wasn’t ready for that.
I cleared my throat and took one step over the threshold.
“Would you like to come inside?” I asked.
David’s mouth quirked. “I’d better not.”
I nodded because he was right. “Where is your room?”
He nodded toward the last door we’d passed on the left.
“It isn’t as beautiful as this one, but it is the closest room besides my father’s.
” He pointed to the adjoining door. “I had the servants move my things into my room last night as well. Your mother now has my old room, next to Julia’s at the top of the stairs. ”
“I thought your father never came here. Why do you need to leave his room free for him?” The question hung in the air.
How certain was David that his father wouldn’t come?
If he did, where would I sleep? For it wouldn’t do to have only a door between us.
Hadn’t David considered that when . . . But then I remembered.
If his father knew I was here, I would be on my way somewhere else.
There was no chance of us ever being in the same house together, let alone sharing an adjoining room.
“I’ll never sleep in that room. Not even after he dies. Garrett may choose to when he visits since I commandeered his room. I’ll let him deal with that when he comes.”
“And how often does Garrett visit?”
“Very rarely. He and Father have entrusted Julia and me to run the estate, but the price of keeping Father away from here and out of the day-to-day management of the tenants and servants was Garrett’s promise to remain in London by Father’s side.
” A heaviness settled on David. “He has been able to visit without Father knowing a few times secretly, but it is much less often than we’d like. ”
I nodded but didn’t press for any more answers, even though it became very clear exactly when the tenants’ lives had improved on the Tate lands.
“David?”
“Yes?” His eyes met mine, and they were, in fact, very tired, as if it were all he could do to keep standing.
“Thank you for marrying me.”
David inhaled slowly, in a way that seemed to draw him nearer to me.
If I didn’t know any better, I would think the hooded gaze he gave me was the exact variety a husband should have for his wife on his wedding night.
The kind of look that would have him stepping forward, wrapping me in his arms, and covering my mouth with his own.
Instead, he closed his tired eyes and nodded. “Anything for you, Anna.”
Then he turned quickly on his heel and marched to his own room, where he would most certainly sleep deeply.
I, on the other hand, would not be able to sleep, knowing the sentence he’d only just spoken to me was a lie, even if he didn’t know it.
Because the truth was, David wouldn’t do anything for me.
He would only do almost anything for me.
Otherwise, we would have married in a church a few months from now, and when I’d invited him in on our wedding night, he would have joined me, even if he hadn’t slept for days.