15. Lochlan
CHAPTER 15
Lochlan
It takes my brain about zero point five seconds to work out what’s happening. He leans back as quickly as he leaned in, and we both blink at each other.
Then I grab Dario on either side of his face and kiss the ever-loving shit out of him.
I’ve been doing what Lili suggested since we had our chat and really imagining what this might feel like. How leaning in cautiously could send chills up my spine. Thinking that Dario’s lips would be soft and sweet.
I was wrong. He’s an absolute fucking firecracker.
Before I can even process that the kiss I’ve been agonizing over is happening in 4K technicolor surround sound, Dario is scrambling into my lap, straddling my hips, and rubbing…
Whoa!
That…that feels really fucking amazing. His cock is, like, so solid against mine as he grinds on top of me, pinning me down as our lips and tongues tousle like wild dogs. I thought my little buddy was shy. And I’m sure he still is about a ton of things.
But not this, apparently.
I dig my fingers into his ribs and moan, jerking my hips to chase that delicious friction. I’ve never really thought about what rubbing my cock against another cock might feel like. Whenever I’ve watched gay porn (because who isn’t curious, right?) it’s always been about the blow jobs and penetration. But this is exciting and primal in a way I wouldn’t have guessed.
Unfortunately, oxygen becomes an issue far sooner than I would have liked. Dario jerks back, gasping for air, and even though I don’t really want to, it allows me to do the same. I figure the more O2, the more kissing, so I’ll allow it.
Dario’s lips are already beautifully red and swollen, slick with our spit. That caveman part of my brain rears up again, thrilled to have marked what’s mine. But Dario’s eyes are wide as they search mine.
“Is this okay?” he rasps.
I crook an eyebrow at him. “The fact that we’ve stopped kissing? No.” I grin and thread my fingers through his thick, dark hair, pulling him down to devour his mouth once more. He lets out this happy little moan that makes my dick throb in my pants.
Yesterday, I would have sworn blind that I was as straight as an arrow. But now, here I am, slipping my hands under Dario’s shirt, wondering how fast we can get naked.
However, the sensible, firefighter part of my brain finally takes the wheel from the caveman, and this time it’s me that pulls back and takes a breath.
“Are you okay?” I ask between pants, moving my hands from under his shirt to rest on his hips. “We kinda went from zero to sixty there. I’m not complaining! In fact, the last thing I want to do is pump the brakes. But we’ve both been wrestling with some shit recently and I wanna make sure we’re actually in the right head space.”
He groans and drops his head on my shoulder. “How are you so fucking perfect?” he mumbles.
I laugh and run my hands up and down his back. Damn, that feels so natural.
I’ve thought a lot about Lili’s words. How she said that labels don’t matter. It only matters how I feel and how Dario feels. But I thought I’d be more afraid of touching him like this. These feelings have made me question so many fundamental things I thought I knew about myself.
But really…who cares? Maybe I’m bi? Maybe I’m something else? All I care about is that I think Dario is attracted to me like I’m attracted to him. And judging by what’s going on in our pants right now, that attraction is large.
“So…does this mean you like me, too?” I ask tentatively. Dario starts laughing quietly, his whole chest shaking, before he lifts his head and looks into my eyes.
“Yes, Lochlan, I like you a ridiculous amount,” he says warmly, tracing a finger down my cheek. It makes me shiver deliciously. “I really thought you were straight, though, so I’d resigned myself to a lot of pining.”
I scoff. “I really thought I was straight, too. Lili practically had to bang my head against the wall to make me see sense.” I release a breath, puffing out my cheeks. “I’ve been so dumb.”
Dario cradles my face again, suddenly frowning. “No, Lochlan,” he says firmly. “If I’m not allowed to call myself stupid or weak, you’re not allowed to call yourself dumb.”
“But I missed all the signs that were literally right in front of my face!” I protest.
He smiles and bobs his head from side to side. “I think you’re incredibly in tune with your heart,” he says, resting his hand over where mine is beating. “Sometimes, it just might take your head a little while to analyze what that means.”
It doesn’t seem so bad when he puts it like that. I’m probably not done beating myself up about it. A part of me is worried that I didn’t notice something so important about myself because of internalized homophobia. I’ve heard the guys at work talking about that before. Like…did I not realize I was bi because I thought being queer was okay for other people but not for me?
Or is Lili right and I just genuinely haven’t been attracted to a guy before the way I am to Dario? Am I being too hard on myself?
All I know is that he feels so insanely good in my arms right now. We naturally shift a little so we’re chest to chest and he’s resting his head on my shoulder. Then I have a thought that makes me worry about something slightly different.
“Did I string you along?” I ask.
He frowns and looks up at me. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you said that you, um, like me, but you thought I was straight. Was I out of line with the whole fake boyfriend thing? I’d never want to make you uncomfortable, Dario.”
He hums and sets his palm over my heart again. God, I love him putting his hands on me so much, and we’ve only just started doing it. I want his hands all kinds of places.
“You weren’t an insensitive dick, if that’s what you’re worrying about,” Dario says with a warm chuckle. “You were incredibly sweet, actually. But you did kind of drive me insane, yeah. It was like you were so close yet so far away.”
I card my fingers through his hair at the back of his head. “I’m sorry,” I say sincerely.
“No, it’s fine,” he says, looking earnestly into my eyes. “It’s not like you were leading me on purposefully, were you?”
“Absolutely not,” I tell him hotly.
His smile is so sweet that the fire blows out of me right away. “Exactly. So don’t worry that you’ve mistreated me in any way at all. In fact, you’ve never been anything but kind and thoughtful. Even if I thought we were just friends, you always made me feel important, Lochlan.”
Warmth tingles through my whole body. “Good. Because you are important. Not just to me, but to the world. No one should ever make you feel otherwise.” I swallow and place my hand over his where it’s resting against my heart. “So…if you thought we were just friends before…does that mean we’re something else now?”
His grin is shy but there’s heat in his eyes as he looks up at me. “I think we’re definitely something more now. But seeing as this is all new to you and I’m still getting back on my feet, we don’t have to rush into anything or put any pressure on ourselves.”
In principle, I agree that I want to go at whatever pace Dario needs. The abuse he went through was no joke and he deserves plenty of time and space to flourish now. On the other hand…
“I’ll follow your lead, baby,” I say, trying on the pet name and loving the way it feels, not to mention the way it makes Dario blush. “Though just so you know, I have no intention of seeing anybody else. And yeah, it’s kinda nuts how I’ve fallen head over heels for a dude. But then again, is it really a big deal these days for a dude to catch feels for another dude?”
Dario sighs. “It is in some places for some people, yeah.”
“Well, those people and those places are dumb,” I declare. “I like you and you like me, it’s that simple.”
Dario shakes his head. “You’re amazing, I mean it.”
I also shake my head. “Naw, I’m just a big dumb jock,” I say, winking so he knows that I’m deliberately trying to provoke him by using that word again. I like how he defended me earlier about that. “You know what was amazing, though? Kissing you. That freaking rocked. Can we do more of that?”
Dario licks his lips and squirms around so he’s straddling my hips again. “You like this, huh?” he rasps.
Oof. If I thought he was confident before, that’s nothing to what he’s oozing now. Most of the girls I’ve been with were sweet and giggly, and I loved it. But there was this one chick who bossed me around and rode me like a cowgirl. That was fucking epic.
So the fact that’s the vibe adorable Dario Garcia-Perez is giving me now makes me excited in a bunch of ways I can’t quite even describe.
Other than hot. It’s fucking hot. He’s fucking hot.
“Oh, baby,” I croak, my dick thickening in seconds. “Yeah, I like this a fuck ton. Can I touch you? I don’t know what I’m doing, but I want to do it all.”
Dario laughs and captures my mouth for a searing kiss. “I imagine it’s not so different from touching a woman. Skin is skin.”
I shake my head and glance between us. “I can assure you that it’s already feeling pretty different. Why don’t you tell me what you want? What you like. I just want to make you so happy, Dario.”
His cheeks are flushed and he’s already breathing heavily, but he looks at me with such wonder for a second. “You do make me happy,” he says softly.
My heart sings.
Tentatively, he leans down to kiss me again. But this time, it’s him who slips his hands under my T-shirt, his fingertips brushing against my stomach and making me jump in the best kind of way.
Of course, Dario notices. “Is this all right?” he mumbles against my lips.
“It’s perfect,” I promise him. “It’s all perfect. Less talking, more kissing. I’ll tell you if something freaks me out, but I doubt it will.”
He laughs, the sound warm and golden. But he listens to me. As he takes hold of the bottom of my shirt, he just raises his eyebrows to check I’m okay. I simply lift my arms in response.
In a flash, my top is on the floor and his hot little hands skim down my chest. “You’re like an Avenger,” he says before leaning down and sucking one of my nipples hard, like it’s a lollipop.
I cry out in shock. No one’s ever done that to me before, which I’m immediately mad about. Holy fuck! This is great! I buck up from the sofa and thread my fingers through Dario’s hair to keep him from moving. The last thing I want is for him to take my surprise as hesitation and stop what he’s doing.
I meant what I said. I’ll tell him if anything is too much for me. However, I’m pretty sure he can do anything he wants with me, and I’ll love it.
“Oh, baby,” I say with a gasp. My hands find their way under his T-shirt again, and he pulls back so I can remove it.
Obviously, this is one of the places where his body is significantly different to any woman’s that I’ve been with. But I’m still drawn to the lovely expanse of smooth skin, the curve of his slim hips, and his dusky, pebbled nipples. It felt so good when he kissed and sucked me there, so I decide to try touching him there myself. He watches me as I slide my hands up his flanks and rub my thumbs over the tight buds, holding his sides as I do. He groans wantonly, and my cock aches.
Fuck! I want to do so many things with him, and I have no idea where to start.
“I want to make you come,” I say. I don’t care how. I just want to be as close to him as I can. I want to get naked and kiss him all over and maybe come as well.
Mostly, I want to take care of him in such a primal way. But I need him to show me the way.
“Yes,” he hisses, his eyelids fluttering shut.
He captures my mouth with his own, kissing me fiercely and pressing our chests together. The skin-to-skin contact is electrifying, and I moan against his lips. My hands glide over his taut body, warm to my touch. But then he grabs my shoulders and tugs at me, pushing me to lie down the length of the sofa with him still straddling my hips. My heart’s hammering in my chest but I’m not afraid. It’s like I’m about to explode, excitement bubbling through me like a shaken soda can.
Looking up at him is awe-inspiring. His hair is kind of a mess, his lips are swollen, and he’s breathing heavily, telling me he’s losing his mind just as much as I am.
I don’t care what he says. I was a total jackass for not realizing he had feelings for me earlier and then fucking with those feelings by pretending to be his boyfriend in front of his family. But I was even more of a dummy not to realize that I wasn’t faking anything at all, not from the moment we met.
He’s my favorite person in the world and right now, there’s no place I’d rather be than under his hot, squirming body.
But I am going to lose my mind if we don’t get back to the good stuff immediately. I respect that he doesn’t want to push me in my first make-out session with a guy. However, I’m so over that fact already. There’s nothing about this that’s scaring me off. Just the opposite, in fact.
“I’m yours, Dario,” I say, my voice coming out all raspy with lust. “You can do whatever you want with me.”
It’s quite possible that those words break something in him, judging by the stunned look on his face. That’s okay, though.
He’s got me now to put him back together.