16. Dario
CHAPTER 16
Dario
I can’t have heard that right. This huge hunk of a man not only let me push him down to climb on top of him, but he’s given me permission to do whatever I like with him?
My mouth goes dry, my thoughts frazzle in my brain, and my hands begin to shake. How can getting the thing I wanted the most in my wildest dreams scare me so much?
Well, I know why. Because it was drilled into me that I shouldn’t want it.
It pains me to think about Shane yet again, but he always insisted on being in charge and on top when we had sex. As if he had to dominate me otherwise his fragile masculinity would shatter, no matter how it made me feel. I convinced myself that it was fine. That I loved him, so us being intimate was all that mattered.
Especially when he would withdraw his touch to punish me when I’d disappointed him. And he’d always make it crystal clear that I only had myself to blame. So I came to treat every time we’d fuck as some kind of sign that staying with him was worthwhile and that things would get better.
But that’s all in the past now. Lochlan obviously senses my hesitation as he reaches up to caress the side of my face. I melt against his palm, feeling like I’d just been free-falling and now my parachute has opened, catching me mid-air and keeping me safe.
“We don’t have to do anything more than this,” he assures me, his voice so warm and rumbly. I quiver all the way down to my toes. “We can kiss some more, or we can snuggle and watch some TV. I don’t care, Dario. I just want to be here with you, and not in a friendly way.” He frowns. “Well, I am still your friend. I just mean?—”
I lean down and crash my mouth into his. “I know what you mean,” I mumble against his lips. I’m smiling, loving how he naturally manages to fill me up with happiness again. Like sunshine parting the clouds on a cloudy day. “Thank you, Lochlan.”
He grins back at me. “For what?”
“For being patient when my brain goes into overdrive.” I laugh and shake my head. “And thank you about a million times over for being bisexual. I don’t need anything for Christmas now. That’s the best present I could have ever asked for.”
“It’s pretty awesome, right?” he cries in delight. He might be a redhead, but I can’t stop thinking of him as my human golden retriever.
Could he really be mine? He said that’s what he wanted. If he doesn’t want to date anyone else (and I certainly don’t have any other prospects) then…maybe he could be.
Maybe I could be his.
I still want to take our relationship slow. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be heading in a very exciting direction.
I inhale deeply then kiss him sensually for a bit, loving the feel of his huge body under me. He trusts me with this, and I trust him with just about everything. He’s not going to flip on a dime and hurt me, I’m sure of it. I know I was fooled before, but this isn’t the same.
He’s nothing like Shane. And if I don’t stop worrying that he secretly is, I might ruin the best thing that’s ever happened in my life.
After all the times he’s called me brave, I need to show him that I can be.
“How do you feel about getting naked?” I ask.
“Yes,” he blurts the second I get the words out. “Fucking hell, yes. Do you need help? I can help. I want to rub against every inch of you right this damn second, baby.”
I laugh and blush, loving how bold he is with this silly nickname already. It gives me that extra confidence boost I need.
“You just lie back,” I tell him, unbuttoning his jeans and dragging down the zipper.
“Hell, yeah,” he says breathlessly, automatically lifting his hips to enable me to push his jeans down.
I leave his boxer-briefs for now—we’re still going slow, after all—but I get off the couch for a moment to yank his pants and socks completely off. I drop them to the floor and simply gape for a second as the sight of this Adonis sprawled out over my sofa.
“Dios mío,” I croak.
He grins and flexes his bulging arms behind his head. “Oh, you like that, huh, baby?”
I snort and quickly strip down to my own underwear. “I like it a lot,” I say as I crawl back over him, shivering at how much of our bodies are touching with almost nothing between them. I feel like I’m burning up, running the best kind of fever.
He slides his arms around my back as I lower myself, kissing him hard and grinding my crotch against his.
“Fucking fuck,” he yelps into my mouth.
I chuckle in amusement and nuzzle my nose against his, giving us both a chance to catch our breath. I’m dizzy with lust, throwing caution to the wind. Getting laid was about a thousand miles off my radar today, and the endorphins are taking over my body as well as my mouth.
“Oh, you like rubbing yourself against my big cock do you, dirty boy?” I growl.
He makes a choking sound and covers his eyes with his hand for a second, squeezing his temples. “Yes, baby, yes,” he says, his voice strained. “Don’t stop. Fuck!”
I kiss along his jaw like I’ve been so desperate to for weeks now. His hands flutter over my back, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself and is absolutely loving it.
Giving one last thrust, I decide to tease him and move down his body, leaving his hips jerking like a fish on a line. He whimpers and I laugh.
“Aww, don’t worry, dirty boy. I’ll give you something even better.”
He nods frantically, threading his fingers through my hair as I start kissing down his gorgeous body. He tastes like sunshine and masculine muskiness. The soft ginger hairs across his pecs and down his abdomen tickle my nose as I trace my lips along his skin.
“Yes, yes, yes,” he chants like a prayer. He’s a puddle under me. I feel giddy with power and so incredibly privileged at the same time to be here with him like this when he could have anyone he wanted.
Anyone at all in the whole damn world, and he’s picked me. I’m the one that’s turned his head and made him challenge his sexuality. Even with all the doubts in my mind about my self-worth, that’s pretty difficult to ignore.
When I reach his underwear, I don’t hesitate to peel the elastic band down, letting his cock spring free. It’s just as big and juicy as I’d been imagining it might be having seen him almost naked in my bedroom before. I glance up to see him watching me intently, and I hold his gaze as I slip my lips over the leaking head and swallow him down slowly. I wrap my hand around the base of his shaft and take my time.
“Fuuuuuck,” he groans, gasping and screwing his eyes up. “That feels so amazing, baby. Don’t stop. You’re so perfect. So good.”
If I wasn’t trying my best to gag on his junk, his words would have taken my breath away. Warm gooeyness seeps through me to my core at his lovely praise. Being in charge has always been the thing that turned me on the most during sex. But Lochlan telling me I’m perfect as I use his body and make him feel amazing is a whole new level of pleasure.
The noises he makes as I take him all the way down to his root are so needy and delicious. He keeps calling me ‘baby’ and ‘sweetheart’ and telling me how flawless my dick-sucking skills are. I’m tempted to make him climax like this, but there’s a voice in the back of my head that’s urging me to make this experience special for him. Memorable.
I bet he’s had a lot of women suck him off, after all.
But he’s almost certainly never tasted a cock himself.
As I pop off and crawl back up to him, he whimpers in protest until I kiss his lips again. “Was that nice?” I ask.
“Fucking awesome,” he mumbles without hesitation, kissing me desperately and rutting his cock against mine through my briefs. I love that he doesn’t demand that I get back down there and make him come. I’m in charge, and he seems to be enjoying that just as much as I am.
“Do you want to try it, dirty boy?”
He blinks at me, apparently taking a second to work out what I’m asking. “Oh!” he suddenly blurts. “Sucking dick? Sucking your dick?”
I nod, wondering if I’ve gone too far. But he nods back, even though he’s frowning slightly. He’s skimming his fingers up and down my back in a soothing gesture, though, so I figure that’s a good sign.
“Yes,” he says firmly. “I really, really want to try that with you.”
Relief rushes through me. “You’ve never done it before?” I guess, feeling a burst of pride when he shakes his head.
“I don’t want to do it wrong,” he says, sounding genuinely concerned. “I want to take care of you, baby.”
Oh. That was his hesitation. How can he be this hot as well as this cute?
“You are taking care of me,” I assure him with maybe a bit too much sincerity for the tone of the moment. But with the way he beams at me, I don’t cringe at my words. I just continue. “You’re being so good for me. You’re perfect. If you like, you can just lie back and let me do all the work?”
He puffs out a breath of air, a goofy smile tugging at his mouth. “Is that what you’d enjoy?” he asks.
Visions of all the things I wasn’t allowed to do and all the things I was denied in the bedroom with Shane flash before my eyes. The fact that Lochlan’s concern is primarily my enjoyment and not his own is another level of attractiveness.
“I’d fucking love that,” I say, emotion making my voice catch.
I don’t know when the last time was that I felt this free. Lochlan looks at me reverently as I move up the sofa, and he wriggles down a little. Wordlessly, I pull my throbbing, leaking cock out from my boxer-briefs, and rub the tip against his swollen lips. I could have come from just that sight alone, but I squeeze the base of my shaft before pushing into the wet heat of his mouth.
We both moan, and I have to issue restraint to not immediately start fucking his face. I grip onto the back of the couch to help steady myself, then start gently thrusting deeper, not quite all the way back to his throat, but certainly enough that when he sucks and swallows me down, I’m wailing with no regard for my neighbors. Hopefully they can’t hear us, although I really can’t bring myself to care in that moment.
“Take it, dirty boy,” I utter, loving how he digs his fingers into my ass cheeks and his eyes roll back in his head. When he said he wasn’t fazed by being with a man and wanted to try anything, I guess he meant it.
I don’t know if that’s going to extend to swallowing spunk, however, and I don’t want to grind everything to a halt to check. So I make an executive decision for us both and slip out of his mouth to move back down the sofa. He’s panting when I kiss him again, tears clinging to his lashes, but he’s also grinning like crazy.
“Holy…fucking…shit balls,” he utters between kisses. “I loved that, Dario. You could have come like that, I mean it.”
I tuck that information away for later, but right now, I have a different plan. “I want us to come together,” I say, shifting so I can wrap my hand around both our lengths.
It’s a bit of a struggle to get my fingers all the way around, but that doesn’t stop Lochlan’s eyes going comically wide. He snaps his gaze down between us, then up again.
“I didn’t know guys could do that,” he squeaks adorably before groaning in pleasure. Then he snakes his hand between our bodies on the other side and helps me encase us both, making a slippery channel for us to thrust into together.
“Lochlan,” I moan, kissing his mouth before dropping my head and burying my face against his neck.
“Dario, baby,” he cries as we rut hard and fast. “So perfect, so good, just like that, don’t stop. Come for me, baby. Come for me.”
I scream as I let go, spilling my load all over our hands and his stomach. I’m not even finished before he’s joining me, gnashing his teeth and digging the fingers from his other hand into my back.
I hope he leaves bruises. I want proof that this really happened.
Because as soon as I catch my breath, I feel the shame already starting to creep in. It crashes over me like one of those big waves the surfers ride down on the beach.
Oh…no.
Was I too much? Did I push him too far?
This is why I left our underwear on. I had a feeling one of us—or both—might want to preserve our dignity once the moment was over. I hastily tuck myself away, but before I can do much else, Lochlan is already wrapping his arms around me and crushing me against his chest. Apparently, he doesn’t care about the mess cooling between us and is oblivious to my oncoming panic attack.
“Oh my fucking god,” he says breathlessly, planting kisses on my damp hair. “Dario, I…oh. Are you okay? Was that okay? Was I okay?”
I gulp and try and take a breath to compose myself. He doesn’t sound disgusted with me. “You were perfect. Are you sure I wasn’t too much?” I ask in a tiny voice.
He yanks his head back to frown up at me, his expression immediately turning concerned, no doubt in response to seeing my almost tearful face.
“Hey, hey, no! Why are you upset? What do you mean ‘too much’? That was completely and utterly spectacular. I’d go again for another round right now if I had any spunk left in my balls whatsoever. But…did I do something wrong?”
For a moment, I just stare at him. “No, you were beautiful,” I murmur. Slowly…the panic is fading before it even really began. Because of this amazing man. “But I was…I called you names…I was bossy.”
He blinks at me. “And it was super fucking hot, dude. I had no idea you had that in you. Talk about the best surprise ever. That’s my Christmas present sorted for the year.”
I take a shaky breath. “Really?”
He nods. “But did you enjoy it? I thought you did, but…”
Before he can feel guilty over my messed-up bullshit, I gently press a finger to his lips. “I loved it,” I say sincerely. “I just…I don’t normally let loose like that.”
His eyes flick over my face as understanding seems to dawn on him. For a second, he clenches his jaw, no doubt in anger the way I’ve been treated in the past. Then he relaxes and carefully pulls me back into a hug.
“Baby, listen to me. I want you to get as freaky as your heart desires with me. I loved you taking charge. People always think because I’m a big guy I like giving orders, but I really don’t care about that. Seeing you be all commanding got me horny as fuck, all right? I never want you to be anything but yourself. Ever.”
I keep my face tucked against his neck as a few tears escape down my cheeks. He just holds me as I sniffle for a little while. But then I let out a big breath, like I’m releasing so many of my problems. When I do, I realize how cold and sticky the mess between us has become.
“Eww,” I say, making us both chuckle as I lean back and look at the grossness. “We should probably clean up.”
“Can we shower together?” he asks hopefully. My heart leaps. I’m not used to that kind of aftercare.
“I’d love that,” I tell him softly. “Then will you stay for dinner?”
He traces a finger along my jaw then pecks a little kiss to the top of my nose. “I’d love that,” he echoes me.
I’m still not convinced this is really happening. But until I wake up, I’m going to enjoy this dream for as long as it lasts.