40. THEO
40
THEO
A fight has broken out on the beach. Anika and Dante dance demonically around Lucia and Maio, who are sitting rigidly on a picnic blanket with a bottle of white wine between them. They don’t even see Magdalen and me approach them, too busy shaking their shoulders and smoking to pay any attention to us. Lucia eventually spots us, and instantly her eyes go wide and pleading.
‘Ah, Theo!’ She crawls up to her knees and squeezes her hands together in prayer. ‘For the love of god, please get these two away from us. They’ve been dancing like this for twenty minutes.’
‘We’re blessing your marriage!’ Anika drops her head between her legs so that her hair drags in the sand and starts bouncing her knees sporadically. ‘This is an important marriage ritual to ensure peace and sexual gratification for both. Please let us do our thing!’
‘Dante,’ I call out, understanding why Anika would do this but surprised by his participation.
He whips his head towards us, and instantly his eyes glance at our hands. I watch his face go through a series of emotions. Brows raised in surprise, then furrowed in annoyance. He takes a long drag of his cigarette, nodding to himself. ‘She promised to buy dinner if I did this with her,’ he explains, and continues to side-step around Maio, who looks like he is seconds away from throwing up.
‘The space feels thoroughly cleansed, Anika.’ Magdalen drops my hand and jogs to them, ushering them away. ‘Let the lovebirds do their thing.’
When everyone concedes, Anika leads us along the beach. She and Magdalen walk together, arms linked, cackling loudly while kicking up sand and stopping every so often to pick up a shell.
‘That took literally no time at all,’ Dante says, hands shoved in his pockets.
‘Sorry, bro,’ I shrug. ‘Guess I’m trying something new. Gotta not be afraid, right?’ I bite down on my tongue, regretting the words instantly.
‘What the fuck do you have to be afraid of?’ Dante sneers, and starts counting with his fingers. ‘Too many opportunities thrown at you? Too many girls? Too much love from everyone?’
‘Alright, alright,’ I say laughingly to stop him from continuing, but it stings.
‘No, seriously, tell me what you’re afraid of.’
‘Dante, it’s nothing. I don’t know why I said it.’ Shrugging, I suddenly become aware of how high my shoulders are. Locked in place, the tension falls down my spine and I will myself to fucking relax.
‘You obviously have something you’re afraid of. I want to know what it is. Did I do something?’
‘Of course you didn’t do anything. Seriously, leave it alone. I’m an idiot.’
‘You’re not a fucking idiot,’ he spits back. ‘That’s why everyone loves you, genio .’
‘Can you just leave it alone?’ My voice raises, breathing harsh. Magdalen and Anika turn back to look at us so I offer them a small smile, a shrug, just boys being boys. Anika’s eyes travel to Dante, frowning at him and then back to me.
‘Of course.’ He raises his hands innocently. ‘Don’t go running back to New York now that I’ve fucking upset you. I’m sure now you’re here for Maggie you can manage to stick it out a little longer than two months,’ he murmurs, and trudges ahead of me.
‘Dante,’ I try, but it’s too late. He jogs towards the water and strips down to his underwear.
Anika shakes her head when we get to the shore. ‘I don’t even want to know.’ She runs towards Dante and dives head-first into the ocean.
I close my eyes and sigh, filling my lungs with salty air. I picture us as teenagers, Dante showing up with an old, beaten-up Lambretta that he stole from the museum parking lot. ‘Look at this shit!’ He bounced excitedly on the torn seat. ‘Come on! There’s even some gas left. Let’s go down the hill.’ I picture the day I told him I was leaving. I hoped my being here now was enough to forgive my decision to ever leave, but I see the resentment boiling in him.
‘Want to swim?’ Magdalen asks. I open my eyes, squinting at the sunset. Every time I look at her, hunger pangs in my chest. I’m terrified by how much I want her.
‘Come here,’ I say.
‘Demanding.’ She smiles and steps closer.
I graze my finger across the knot of her sarong. ‘Can I take this off?’ I try to clear my throat, noticing how rough my voice sounds, almost trembling with need.
‘Yes, please,’ she says, but there’s a hesitancy; her smile flinches.
Taking my hand off her, I look at her intently. ‘Magdalen, you’ll tell me if you’re not comfortable?’ I mean it to come out as a question, but it’s too hard, abrasive.
‘Yeah, course I will.’
‘I mean it. You know that, right? We don’t need to do anything you don’t want to. I’d be happy drinking coffee with you, watching you read until sunrise, and be thankful for it.’
‘Theo.’ She steps towards me and takes my hand, guiding it to the knot of the sarong again. ‘I want to. You know I’ve never necessarily done a lot of this.’ Her voice wavers and it takes everything in me not to wrap her in my arms until the doubt that I selfishly planted is flushed out.
I untie the knot and dip my finger underneath the linen until the cloth falls to the sand. ‘Don’t apologize, please. You don’t need to explain anything.’
‘Okay. Noted. Now take off your shirt.’
‘Excuse me?’ I try to hide my smile at her boldness and she gasps, hands flying to her hips.
‘Excuse you? I’m standing here bare-ass and vulnerable and you’re fully clothed.’
‘Magdalen, it’s a beach, baby. Look around. You’re probably the most covered person here.’
‘Okay, baby .’ Magdalen steps closer and tentatively runs her fingernails across the skin exposed at the bottom of my shirt. I shiver, leaning my hips forward unconsciously to get more of her touch. ‘Then get this off.’
I lift my hands up above my head and wait. ‘I’m afraid I’ll need help.’ My voice is tight, full of need. Not wanting to scare her off, I clear my throat to lessen my blatant desire for her, but it does nothing.
Magdalen giggles and that familiar hunger grows. For all her giggles.
‘Okay, I think I can help.’ Her hands explore underneath my shirt, fingers running gently along the seam of my shorts. I let out an exhale, willing myself to control the hardness already forming. Trying to find the will to be embarrassed, but I find I’m too entranced by her to care. Her fingers remain low and after a moment she dips one into my waistband.
‘Ehm.’ I force my eyes upwards to not look at her hands inside my shorts, almost positive that if I do look, Magdalen will definitely be able to see how hard I already am. ‘Shirt is the other way,’ I gasp, trying to adjust myself discreetly.
‘Oops, sorry.’ I hear her smiling and find myself joining her. ‘This is why I don’t drive. My direction skills are fucked.’
‘It’s a common mistake. Up, down. Could happen to anyone.’
Her hands are everywhere. First taking the fabric of my shirt, she wanders up my stomach, then drags it further up to my ribs. I take a slow breath out, never having such a reaction to someone just touching my skin. But everything feels different with her, new. Her touch means more. She steps closer, our toes overlapping in the sand, hips brushing against one another briefly, and I thin my lips to stop from moaning.
‘You’re too big,’ she says while trying to tug the shirt over my shoulders. Her words cause a spike of adrenaline to shoot down my spine and directly to my dick. Jesus Christ.
‘You’re doing this on purpose,’ I mumble through the shirt now stuck over my mouth, certain my erection is entirely visible through my shorts.
‘No! It’s really stuck,’ she says, laughing, her stomach pressing up against mine as she continues to try to pull it off.
‘My god, Magdalen. Stop talking.’ I think of anything to not think of her underneath me, squirming and naked, whispering those same words for something very different.
‘Okay, okay. I got it.’ The shirt slips off my head and while she’s turning it inside out, I take the opportunity to adjust myself again. Am I fifteen fucking years old?
When she looks up from the shirt debacle, her eyes zone in on my hands trying to hide how hard I am and she bites down on her lip.
‘Sorry,’ I say, feeling guilty for my blatant display of arousal on a public beach.
‘I did that?’ She tilts her head, examining my body like a statue at the museum.
‘Eh, yes, Magdalen. That usually happens when the girl I like slips her fingers near my dick.’
‘Huh,’ she muses. ‘I never thought I’d be able to seduce anyone.’
‘You should give yourself more credit, then. You do it all the time to me.’
‘You’re right.’ She smiles cheerfully, looking like she’s made of magic. ‘I really should.’
She throws my shirt on top of her sarong and begins jogging down to the water. I give up trying to hide myself when I look at her ass moving as she runs.
‘Shit,’ I say, taking a deep breath before running after her.