Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
I wished I could have rested when I was supposed to, but all I could do was lay awake and think of everything that had happened.
Levi was V. He waited too long to tell me.
I was mad at him.
Yet, I also hurt him.
And despite all of this, I still missed him sleeping next to me.
We’d only been in the same room since my migraine, and I’d gotten used to that far too fast. I was used to listening to the sound of his breathing as I drifted off or feeling his warmth adding to my own.
I was frustrated with myself. I needed to sleep to process everything, but I also couldn’t sleep because I kept thinking of other things to say.
Sighing, I swung my feet over the side of the bed and got up. It had to be early in the morning hours, and I was slowly giving up on sleep. I thought about going downstairs to read on the couch, but I knew that wasn’t what I wanted.
My legs stopped me in front of Levi’s bedroom door before I knew it. My hand rested on the doorknob and I wondered if Gram was turning over in her grave. She always said to stay away from men who hurt you.
But I also hurt him .
Levi kept a secret, one he should have told me, but I was slowly realizing that he didn’t have anyone else. If it was truly me and only me, it didn’t change the fact that the lie was wrong. But I could move past it.
Just like he moved past me hiding my migraines.
I didn’t know if I was an idiot or if this was how marriage worked. Was it a symphony of mistakes until you got it right?
Or was I careening into pain?
Apparently, I didn’t care.
I wanted him anyway.
I gently pushed open the door and saw his form on the bed.
“Amy?” His head popped up, eyes on me. “What’s wrong?”
My feet moved of their own accord. I walked to the bed and climbed in, pressing myself into his chest.
Levi’s breath stuttered, but his arms wrapped around me instinctively.
“I can’t sleep,” I said.
“Me either,” he replied. “I missed you too much.”
“Same. I’m too used to you being around.”
His body folded around me, pulling me impossibly closer—more so than we’d been in weeks.
“Why haven’t you touched me since I had the migraine?”
“I’ve done nothing but touch you.”
“I don’t mean like that.”
“Oh,” he said. “I was waiting for you. I looked up the medicine you’re on and saw all of the side effects. I didn’t want you to think you had to worry about me, especially since you thought that I’d ask you for that when I was sick.”
“You said you wanted to do it a thousand times. Why wait?”
“Because I want you to want it.”
“I do. But after seeing me like that?—”
“I still love you. For better or worse. That’s what a marriage means.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, emotion clogging up my throat. “Love, huh?”
“Yes, darling. I love you. Even when you’re sick, and every second in between.”
A single tear rolled down my cheek. I’d waited for this moment. I didn’t know I had, but there was the truth. It was why I kept picking up books that could make me feel a mere fraction of what love could be.
And now I had it. I really had it.
“You were always here, huh?” I asked. “Right in front of me.”
“Yes.”
I saw it all through a new lens.
And old confusion finally cleared up. Everything from why he bought the ring to rushing me to the hospital made sense.
I finally understood.
And I wanted to move on, but I had one more question.
“There’s no more secrets between us, right?”
“Not that I know of. But if I think of any, I’ll tell you.”
I nodded, but I still wondered what could be waiting out there.
“Wait, I thought of one.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t like tomatoes.”
“What? But you said you would try my salsa when the plants grow.”
“And I will, but I hate the vegetable.”
“It’s a fruit.”
“That’s a technicality.”
“If that’s your secret, then I guess I can live with it.”
“I have more.”
“What are they?”
“First, I knew you hated chocolate cake when Emma told me. You mentioned it all those years ago on your birthday.”
I laughed. “She’s gonna be so mad when she finds out. What’s the other one?”
“I knew where Isra was picking for our honeymoon. And I let her do it.”
“You did? Why?”
“I hoped I could be close to you,” he said, his arms tightening. “And I was.”
“You’re sneaky,” I said. “I have one this time.”
“Yeah?”
“I think I might love you.”
He froze. “Really?”
“Yeah. Is that life-changing?”
“Yes. But in the best kind of way.”
“We have more to talk about tomorrow,” I said as my eyes closed. “Don’t think I’m letting you off easy. But I think I can fall asleep now.”
Levi hummed and his breathing eventually relaxed. And I finally drifted off.
Waking up in the guest room was disorienting. What was even worse was that I was alone. Slowly, I rolled over and felt the sheets next to me. They were cold, and I frowned as I checked the time. I sighed.
It was well past ten. Levi was probably at work, and while I knew his job was important, I needed to talk to him.
Slowly, I peeled myself out of bed and went downstairs. I didn’t notice anything was off until the smell of food hit my nose.
Levi was in the kitchen cooking something, and I couldn’t resist a sigh of relief.
“You’re here,” I said.
“Of course I am. We have business to finish. First thing is a groveling breakfast.”
“You don’t have that much to grovel for,” I said, but then I saw the spread of bacon and hash browns on the stove. “I’ll still take it.”
I grabbed coffee while he plated my food. He went all out for this meal, and my stomach was ready to eat everything he had cooked.
We sat down at the dining room table and I opened my mouth to say something first, but he beat me to it.
“I should have told you sooner. I’m sorry.”
“I get it,” I replied. “Admittedly, I probably wouldn’t have believed you about it at first. You were right about how much power Calvin has over me. I thought I was seeing things as they were, but I was seeing things how he wanted me to. I don’t want to live like that anymore. Thank you for being patient.”
“I get why you felt that way. It’s important that you know that if anyone grew up like you did, they would feel the same.”
“There’s not only that,” I said as I traced the patterns of the wood on the table. “Gram was pretty against love. And men in general.”
“Why?”
“Her first husband left the moment she got pregnant with my mom. She would always tell me about red flags she missed before her husband left, and I never wanted to miss them myself.”
“Did I have any?”
“How much you hated Calvin. At first, I thought it was that you wanted revenge. Then it was that you liked me but also hated him.”
“I do hate him, but you’re not a part of that.”
“I think I hate him too. I can’t be around him anymore.”
“You’re removing yourself from his power, which is exactly what he deserves.”
I nodded, eyes catching on him. This was V in front of me, the man who I’d talked to for years, the one I’d shared every single book with. The man who read every single one of my suggestions.
“What are you thinking?”
“Remembering you’re V. I have a feeling I’m gonna be seeing a lot of things differently,” I said.
“Hopefully in a good way.”
“Yes, definitely in a good way.”
He gave me a smile before fully turning to me. “What’s on the agenda today?”
“First things first, I’m gonna try to convince you that you don’t have to take the day off work.”
“And I’ll stay home anyway. What’s next?”
“I still have tomatoes to plant. Then I was thinking about reading once it gets too hot outside.”
“Count me in,” he said.
“You wanna work in the garden with me?”
“I’ll do anything with you, even plant tomatoes.”
“Planting is not the same as eating, thankfully. I think it’ll be fun.”
After breakfast, we went outside. It was starting to get warm, but the breeze kept us cool as we finished the garden. By the time the sun was high in the sky, both of us were covered in dirt and in need of a shower. I got in first and then lounged on my bed while Levi did the same.
I was in the middle of a spice scene that had my entire body warm when the door opened and Levi strolled in.
“What are you reading?” he asked.
On instinct, I threw down my Kindle. “Nothing. I was just ...” I trailed off when I saw him shirtless of all things.
Was he trying to torture me?
“You were just what?” he prompted.
“R-reading a book.”
“I gathered as much. Which book?” His eyes landed on my burning cheeks. “Judging by how red your face is, I’m guessing smut. Wanna tell me about it? Was it good?”
“We don’t have to talk about it.”
“We were in a book club for years. Of course we have to. I’ve personally been dying to talk more in person about books.”
“Even when you were V, we avoided the topic of spicy scenes.”
“I didn’t want to talk about that kinda stuff when I knew who you were and you didn’t know who I was. But now all of that is different.”
I tapped the side of my Kindle and handed it over. I watched as his eyes widened for all of one second before he focused on reading.
“This is . . .”
“I know, right?” I grabbed the Kindle. “I need to cool down after that.”
“Or,” he said, leaning toward me, “we could make up for lost time.”
I dropped the device, pulse kicking up. I didn’t realize how much I’d wanted to do just that until it was finally being offered.
He walked close, his breath ghosting over my ear. “And I could make you feel like she did in the book.”
I closed my eyes. She’d had four orgasms in the span of minutes, and I wasn’t sure that was possible for me.
But I was more than willing to try.
“P-please.”
That was all Levi needed to hear. He laid me back on the bed, lips grazing over my neck. My body was sensitive, a side effect of the weeks we’d gone without having sex while he was right next to me. I was more than ready to break that streak.
“How did that scene start?” Levi asked lowly. “Wasn’t it with him leaving a hickey right here?”
He nipped the skin below my collarbone and I let out a whine. “Yes.”
He did it again and I buried my fingers in his hair, trying to keep him close.
His attention moved to my nipples, which were desperate for attention. Levi had barely started and yet my body quickly built up the pleasure—that’s how much I needed this.
“And then he finger-fucked her before going down on her.” His hand moved downward. “Sound good to you?”
At the first brush of his hand, I knew I was a goner. “We’re gonna have to deviate.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I’m already close.”
“This soon?”
“It’s been a while, and I really need this.”
“Then I’ll give you what you need, but I’ll never let you go this long without feeling good again.”
His mouth closed over mine and his hand moved in the way I loved. I whined as my body heated as if I were in a microwave, then exploded with immense pleasure.
Everything was sensitive as I came down from my high, and I pulled Levi from his position until he was lying on his back.
“I’m pretty sure this wasn’t in the book,” he said.
“Fuck the book. I didn’t get to do this last time, and you owe me.”
I slid his sweatpants down his hips and took off my underwear before climbing on top of him. I knew I was wet for him already, but I took a moment to press my lips to him before slowly sliding down on his erect cock.
As I stretched for Levi, his hand tightened on my hip, guiding me farther down to take him in deeper. It was too good, yet I needed more.
My hips shamelessly ground down as he thrust up into me. My head fell back, jaw opening as I felt him everywhere .
I bounced on his lap, lost in a sea of perfection. I met every one of his thrusts with a jerk of my hips, my body reveling in each one of his movements. I panted, feeling ecstasy in every corner of my body.
“You’ve gotta stop,” Levi said through gritted teeth. “Or I’ll come.”
“I’m so close,” I said. “Please come in me. Please. ”
“Fine, but we will be doing this later.”
He went harder, making my eyes roll to the back of my head. I leaned forward, finding the right position.
Levi’s mouth latched onto one of my breasts, sucking gently.
And that sent me tumbling over the edge. I moaned as every part of me lit up for the second time.
“Fuck.” He bottomed out in me. His cock twitched as he came too, just in time.
For a second, both of us had to catch our breaths.
“You better be ready to never leave this bed.”
“I’ll go close the blinds for the night, and then we’ll have round two.”
His mouth covered mine before I got off of him, throwing on a robe and running downstairs.
I did my usual sweep of the house and closed the blinds as if I were heading to bed.
But as I glanced out the window, I saw Mr. Buford in his living room. He had a guest—an older woman I’d never seen before.
I knew he had people coming in and out. But he didn’t offer up any information about it, so I figured it was none of my business. However, this time, whoever was over had one of his windows open to give him fresh air.
And I had a view inside his house.
Right in the view of the window was a large picture of Gram, there with all of his other family photos.
I stared at it for a very long time.
Why would my neighbor have a picture of Gram? He said he didn’t know her that well, so how did he get that?
“Ready for round two?” Levi asked when I numbly walked back to my room.
“I . . . I don’t know.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I think Mr. Buford knew Gram. Like way more than he said he did.”