20. Lennox
Chapter 20
Lennox
He was an idiot if he thought I was ever letting him go. I was already addicted to the feel of Dane’s mouth on mine. Every time his stubble scraped over my lips, it sent tingles down my spine. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get enough.
When he pulled back, I groaned. “You seriously have to stop pulling away from me, Lieutenant. I’m years behind.”
My eyes dropped to where he raked his teeth over his bottom lip. I wanted to do that for him.
“We’re not finished talking here, QB.”
Sighing, I sat back dramatically and leaned my head on the headrest. But I didn’t take my eyes off him. “We’ve got the rest of our lives to hash this shit out. I love you, you love me. What else do you need to know?”
Dane chuckled, and the familiar sound lit me up. Reaching out, I ran my fingertips over his face. His eyes were soft and love-drunk like me.
“How the fuck did I miss this look? I’m an observant guy. If I’m not, I get my ass sacked.”
His cheeks pinked. I fucking loved that look that said he had eyes for no one but me. Lived for that look.
“I tried to hide it.”
“When we were kids, I used to do whatever I could to make you laugh. If you were happy, I was happy.”
“I know.” His smile transformed into a serious stare. “I know you love me. But I need to hear you say the words, Lennox. I need to know you’re not going to run from me like I?—”
I cut him off. “Dane, let me spell this out. I have never wanted to settle down with anyone. You’re the only person I could ever see myself with, so I want all that. I want us to share a life and a bed, and yes, I’m in love with you, too. Weren’t you paying attention when I said everything?”
I held out my hand. “Give me your phone. I’ll read it back to you.”
He raised a brow and tried not to laugh. But I could see everything I felt buried under that scowl. “That won’t be necessary. You need to know this isn’t like dating a woman. It’s more complicated than that. We both have very demanding careers, and I have a kid.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “My god, they let you fly planes? Of course, it’s different. But here’s the thing.”
I stopped speaking as the dots began to connect for me.
“What?” he asked warily.
“For the last decade, I’ve been painfully aware that something was missing from this big life I have. Fans cheering and great friends, like Evan, filled part of this gaping hole in my chest. But not all of it. Not even close. But I found the missing part on the sidewalk in San Diego three months ago. And that was you. I never realized I could love you like this.”
I reached for his hand.
“Even though I have zero relationship experience, and I’m guaranteed to fuck up sometimes, there is no one who will ever love you the way I do. And no one will ever love me as much as you do. I want all the hearts and flowers and swoony shit that comes with loving someone. Evan says it’s the best thing ever.”
I brought his hand to my chest and held it over my heart. “I know how I feel. And feel it all right here. You own me if you want me.”
Dane swallowed, then nodded. “This isn’t going to be easy.”
I snorted out a laugh. “Neither was becoming an NFL quarterback, or learning to fly a fighter jet. But we did it. Loving you is the easiest, most natural thing I’ve ever done.”
His hand slipped from my heart to around my neck. Dane pulled me closer until our foreheads pressed together. And when his lips touched mine, all the frazzled ends of my life came together and settled in my world. If I never played another second of football, I’d be just fine as long as I had him.
“We better go,” I said, kissing his forehead.
“Yeah, I bet Daniel is wondering what happened to us.”
I loved that kid. “What are we going to tell them?”
Dane stared out the front window as he pulled out of the parking lot. “I don’t think we should tell them anything yet. My mom will be satisfied that we’re talking to each other. We need to get our feet under us as a couple before we bring them into it. If things don’t work out…”
I covered his mouth with my hand.
“You can stop the fuck right there. This is going to work out. If Evan can make a go with the fucking governor, you and I can make this work.”
He laughed, so I removed my hand. “I love your optimism. I had no idea the governor was… bi?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. Evan says Hudson prefers to think of himself as fluid. And I think maybe that’s me too. You know, in the animal world, sex doesn’t matter. Males hump each other all the time.”
Dane looked over at me with a raised brow. “Please don’t share your animal insights with Daniel just yet.”
I cackled. “I won’t. Give me some credit. But you have a kid with a woman. So does that mean you’re bisexual?”
He rubbed his fingers across his lips. “I don’t know. You’re the only man I’ve ever been attracted to. And maybe that’s because I’ve known you for so long. Guess you missed that. Weren’t you paying attention?”
The asshole was throwing my words back at me. “I love this part of us. That we can give each other shit and it’s still okay.”
“That’s because we were friends first.”
“And always will be.”
Dane reached over and opened his palm. I slipped my hand in his and laced our fingers together. And I’d never felt more whole in my life.
The rest of the drive, we recounted some memories we had from growing up. Seeing these places now didn’t hurt like they did after high school. But there was one place I was sure to never get over.
When he made the turn into the single entrance to our old neighborhood, there was no avoiding where I grew up before the divorce. As we approached, Dane tried to draw my attention away. But I needed to see it.
“Can you stop in front?”
He squeezed my hand. “Are you sure about that?”
My eyes focused on the house. “Yeah. I need to look at it.”
Dane pulled the truck along the curb and stopped out front. We sat there a moment before he spoke.
“Have you heard from him?”
I shook my head. “Once. When I signed with San Diego. He wanted money.”
Stomach acid roiled in my stomach just thinking about it. My father saw me now as a way to fund his retirement since he squandered his life away. He could fuck off.
“Hey,” Dane called, squeezing my hand again.
I turned to look at him. His face was filled with remorse.
“I’m so fucking sorry for ending things with you at the same time he cut you off. That was a double blow you didn’t deserve. All I can say is I was a stupid kid and blinded my by own pain. It was selfish, and if I could change how I handled things, I would. But I promise I’ll never leave you like that again.”
I believed him. This was
“We fucked that up together, baby. But I believe you..”
“So we can start with a clean slate?”
Leaning in, I had to kiss him again. “Clean slate. First and ten.”
Dane chuckled. “Let’s go. I’m sure my mom has
made all your favorites.”
My eyes widened. “God, I hope so.”