Chapter Nine. Reid
CHAPTER NINE
REID
NOW
@haikuforyou
Life crumbles and shakes
Weighing us down with wreckage
Still I think of you
I HEAD OUTSIDE? CATCHING up to Kenji, who barely realized we got diverted. Clara’s not too far behind us, and my entire body is buzzing with that fact.
We pass the crowd gathered and talking around the pool and weave our way out into the woods behind his house, the laughter and lights fading with every step.
Soon it’s just the glorious quiet of the mountain and I can breathe again.
Kenji leads us down a familiar path to an open field that was always perfect for stargazing.
Mitchell and Delaney are out here already perched on blankets and staring at the sky, speaking in low, reverent tones.
My heart rate picks up wondering what they’re talking about.
What she’s telling him. Why didn’t I realize Delaney would be out here, too?
At the sound of our footsteps, their conversation grows quiet. Delaney pops up when she sees us and pulls Clara into an aggressive hug.
Her voice is too perky as she talks quickly. “Clara! Oh my god, hi! Where have you been hiding? I’m so sorry I forgot to text you back! With midterms and rehearsals I’m, like, barely on my phone these days.”
I grimace. Delaney’s shifted into her pom-squad thing. The kind of act she puts on for everyone else but never Clara. Especially not at a party like this when they used to be inseparable.
Clara frowns at her, nodding slowly. “Um, yeah—it’s okay.”
Mitchell scoots over to make space for me between him and Delaney, but instead I lay my blanket down as far as possible from them, a sickening guilt worming through my gut.
Even though Mitchell gives me a confused look, none of this seems to register with Kenji, who plunks down between them instead.
“Finally, we’re all back together!” Kenji collapses into Mitchell. “God, I feel like a herding dog.”
“You look like one, too,” Mitchell jokes, and ruffles Kenji’s shaggy hair.
“Hey.” Kenji elbows him, and they both laugh.
I slowly crouch to the ground, leaning all my weight on one hand so I can swoop my bad knee around without issue and find a position that’s comfortable.
The sudden scent of Clara’s flowery shampoo hits me and I realize too late that I settled myself right next to her.
I feel the moment our gazes collide, and I’m grateful for the armor of the night sky.
That we can both hide a little longer in the dark.
As the moment settles, the five of us sit without talking as Kenji plays a calming melody on his guitar.
We stare at the pins of light that don’t seem to exist anywhere else.
It should be peaceful, but I’m distracted by the warmth radiating off her and the jump in my pulse whenever she so much as shifts.
“I missed this,” Delaney murmurs.
Kenji and I hum in agreement. It’s definitely been too long since I was swallowed by the silent dark like this.
“Is it weird? Being back?” Mitchell asks no one in particular.
Delaney answers first. “Yes and no. Like, everything is so familiar but still somehow feels really different. I don’t know; it’s hard to explain.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. Of course it feels different.
“Is it weird having everyone back?” Kenji asks, his plucking fingers never faltering.
“I thought it would be. But what’s weird is how normal it feels,” Mitchell says. “At least for me.”
We all wait for Clara to say something. Or maybe that’s just what I’m waiting for.
But she fidgets with her hair tie and stays silent through the conversation as it meanders to college and the differences in our dorms, our towns.
I don’t say much, either. College is nothing like I expected, and I don’t know how to talk about that yet.
“But, like, how do you get with anyone if you’re sharing a room?” Mitchell asks seriously.
I reach around Clara to smack him. “Jesus, Mitchell.”
Kenji laughs. “There are work-arounds. My roommate and I have a system.”
Mitchell’s laugh sounds forced, his words halting. “Oh. Nice—that—yeah, that totally makes sense.”
“My roommate and I do the same thing. Her girlfriend lives off-campus, so they stay over there a lot, too,” Delaney says. “Definitely makes it easier to have people over.”
I don’t realize I’m tapping the side of my leg until Clara glances at the motion. I close my hand into a fist as my gut churns with anxiety.
“We sound so slutty.” Kenji laughs again.
Another fake laugh explodes out of Mitchell, too loud.
“It’s not, like, all the time or anything,” Delaney says over a yawn. “I barely have time to sleep anymore. Keeping up with classes and all the rehearsals for the different shows I’m in. I mean, if Legacy taught us anything it’s how to juggle. Even if the whole Legacy process was rough.”
“Would you be willing to talk about that on camera?” Clara asks. It’s the first thing she’s said since we sat down. Her husky voice is even more enticing in the dark.
“Talk about what?” Delaney asks.
Clara shifts, and now that my eyes have fully adjusted, I can make out the faint lines of her face. “Your experience of Legacy. Your real experience.”
Delaney adjusts so that she can look at Clara directly. “I thought you were making a video for the banquet?”
“That’s true. Officially.”
Delaney narrows her eyes. “Unofficially?”
“What if that Legacy Lore account is onto something about telling the truth about the program?” Clara asks.
Delaney and I exchange a glance that Clara catches. My pulse spikes higher.
“You mean the account that’s targeting us?” Delaney asks, her tone incredulous.
Clara spins the hair tie around her fingers faster. I can practically hear how quickly her mind is moving. “I just mean, wouldn’t it be great to show what the program is really like? The way it’s impacted all of us?”
Delaney studies her. “I don’t think that’s what the account is trying to do.”
“Maybe not,” Clara hedges. “But what if that’s what I want to do? Obviously not in a way that would compromise your scholarships—”
Mitchell sits up ramrod straight. “Wait. Are you saying you want to make a takedown of the Legacy Program?”
“Why did you just say that like Nicolas Cage wanting to steal the Declaration of Independence?” Kenji asks.
He grins. “Because I, too, am a national treasure.”
Kenji sways into Mitchell as he laughs.
“I had always planned on finishing the doc I started last year, but then…” Clara trails off because we all know why she stopped working on it. When she got unfairly disqualified in front of everyone at the assembly because of that video, she told me that she was done.
With everything.
Just as the silence extends past comfortable, Mitchell pipes up. “And theeeen your smart and good-looking friend Mitchell reminded you to finish it this weekend and you’ve realized what a genius he is?”
Friend. I take a deeper breath.
Clara rolls her eyes but laughs a little. “More or less. But technically, it was always my plan.”
“Details. I deserve a producer credit at least.”
Kenji nods. “Sounds reasonable.”
The rest of us laugh. Except Delaney, who’s studying the sky as she says, “I don’t know … I’ve gotten a lot out of Legacy.”
Clara tenses. “Okay … you could talk about that, too,” she starts, “but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t also sucked for a lot of us. Or did you forget about last year the way you’ve forgotten to text me back?”
Kenji’s playing falters at the same time Mitchell sucks a breath in through his teeth. This is my fault. All my fault. Though I see Mitch elbows Clara, she barely seems to notice as she stares at Delaney.
Delaney’s voice shakes a little. “Of course I haven’t forgotten about what happened to you. You know I hate that Legacy didn’t work out for you, Clara—”
Her scoff is high-pitched, her tone sardonic. “Didn’t ‘work out’?”
I rip out a clump of grass, the fury from last year building all over again.
Delaney shakes her head, looking miserable. “No—I know. I hate whoever did that to you—it was so cruel. But doing an exposé for revenge—”
“I’m not holding some petty grudge, Delaney. Someone sabotaged me—compromised my future. And I still don’t know who did it or why.”
The silence that follows is filled with hurt.
I know it’s taking every ounce of Mitchell’s and Kenji’s self-control not to say a smart-ass comment to break the tension the same way it’s taking every ounce of mine not to rub a hand down Clara’s back to comfort her.
After a moment, Delaney’s voice cuts through the soft cricket song around us. “You’re right. I’m sorry—I get it. It’s a good idea.”
“Yeah?” Clara meets my gaze for a brief moment. “It’s not crazy?”
I’m not sure if it’s a rhetorical question or if she’s asking me.
Talking about last year on camera with Clara is probably the last thing I want to do. But I get why she wants to do this.
Needs to do this.
Though I’m not sure I can. I have too much I need to contain. Too much I don’t want anyone—especially her—to see.
But what she said to me in the house runs through my head again.
The story isn’t over.
My voice comes out quiet but clear. “After the way they treated you? It’d be crazy not to.”
She smiles, holding my eyes a beat longer than I can stand.
“Hell yeah. I may not be a Legacy but you know I’m in,” Kenji says.
“Me too.” Mitchell grins.
With the moment officially smoothed, they both spring up.
“Okay!” Kenji exclaims. “I think I should probably make sure no one is breaking anything inside.”
“I’ll go with you. I’m cold,” Delaney says. I would think she’s escaping, but her teeth are starting to chatter. It isn’t warm, but it’s not freezing, either, and she’s in a heavy sweatshirt over her dress besides. “I should go home anyway. The Fun Run starts so early.”
“Do you want a ride?” Clara asks hopefully.
“Um.” Delaney darts me the quickest glance.
I know she wants to talk to Clara, but I plead with her silently, Not now. Not tonight. I just need a little more time. “I actually came with Nicole.”
“Oh.”
“Let’s catch up tomorrow after the run, okay?”