Chapter Ten. Clara
CHAPTER TEN
CLARA
THEN
IN AN EFFORT TO fly as deeply under the radar as possible after the truth-or-dare party, I tried to get out of homecoming. Especially because my mom had missed a few shifts at the hospital ever since I told her about Dad not coming home, and I needed to work every free night I could to help out.
But Delaney and Kenji convinced me to take a night off, saying we could go to the dance as a friend group with Mitchell and Reid.
Which worked for me since I wasn’t particularly interested in seeing Reid with another girl after the way he kissed me. Though we’d barely talked since.
Delaney wasted no time as she went into full pom-squad mode, and bounded to the dance floor, moving her body with full confidence.
It wasn’t sexual, exactly, but there was something undeniably hypnotic about the swirl of her hips, the toss of her hair.
A lot of people watched her, and she drank in the attention, as usual.
Amaya and Nicole joined her from another part of the dance floor, the three of them squealing and singing along to the music.
It seemed like the two of them had started to ice me out ever since the party, but Delaney told me I was being paranoid.
Delaney called out to our group, beckoning us to the dance floor with a curl of her finger.
Most of them followed. I would’ve bet a large sum of money that Reid wouldn’t be one of them.
I would’ve lost.
Because he walked to the group and started moving with her easily. Confidently. Heat crept up my neck at the way his hands traveled the length of her torso before spinning her around.
My mouth fell open. “He can dance?” I spluttered aloud.
Mitchell, who was standing next to me, chuckled. “Oh yeah. He took hip-hop dance classes all through middle school.”
I closed my eyes and put a hand over my heart. “It would be cruel to lie to me.”
“Oh, trust me. Bop til You Drop,” he said, laughing harder.
“No!” I gripped Mitchell’s arm to steady myself on my heels while I cracked up.
“He’s going to kill me for telling you that,” he said.
“I’m sure he won’t care,” I said.
Mitchell scoffed. “C’mon, Clara. He has such a thing for you.”
My stomach swooped. Obviously I wasn’t oblivious to the vibe between me and Reid, but there’s a difference between chemistry and someone having a thing. A thing implied … feelings. Mitchell must have been misreading the signs.
I mean, with the intense way he was looking at Delaney on the dance floor, anyone would think he had a thing for her.
Beside them, Logan had his arms around Nicole, but he kept looking over at Mitchell.
“Are you and Logan okay?” I asked.
On a recent long bus ride to a meet, Mitchell and I sat next to each other and talked the entire time.
He ended up telling me about his relationship with Logan.
How desperate he was for it to be public, but that Logan refused—worried it would affect his chances of being selected for Legacy, especially as the mayor’s son.
I’d noticed earlier that he wasn’t wearing the bracelet anymore.
Mitchell shrugged, but his voice wobbled. “We broke up.”
“Do you want to talk—”
“Not really.”
I squeezed his arm.
The dancing went on awhile, and I took the opportunity to film. Which gave me something to busy myself with when Josh approached. He was in a hideous patterned dress shirt, his pale complexion red from dancing.
“You ever going to talk to me again?” he asked.
I could smell the booze on his breath. “We have nothing to talk about, Josh.”
“You know you liked me before Golden Boy got here.”
I stared because he couldn’t have been more wrong. I didn’t like him. I didn’t think about him. What happened over the summer was something to get lost in on a really shitty night. To help me forget how alone I was. How easy I was to leave.
Besides, it had been months. The only reason Josh wouldn’t let it go was because I wasn’t interested in him and he wasn’t used to that.
When I didn’t respond right away, he narrowed his eyes to a sharp squint. “Unless you were just using me to try to get a Legacy spot.”
My pulse spiked as I looked around, making sure no one was listening. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Is it?”
Before I could say anything else, Reid appeared at my elbow just as the music shifted to a slow song. His jacket was off, his cheeks pink with exertion, and there was an attractive gleam of sweat at his temples.
“Want to dance?” he asked.
“We were talking,” Josh said, stepping into Reid’s space.
“And now we’re done,” I said pointedly.
“Hey, look at that.” Reid clapped Josh hard on the shoulder to move him out of the way.
But Josh didn’t budge.
“Back off, West,” Reid said more forcefully.
Josh put his hands up in surrender, but the smirk never left his face. “Just trying to warn you, man.” He leaned close and stage-whispered loud enough for everyone around us to hear, “She’s a biter.”
Reid’s expression didn’t change, but a familiar shame crawled over my skin.
Josh twirled on his heel and walked off as Reid led me to the dance floor.
Several people stared at us. Stared at me. Including Amaya and Nicole, who had clearly watched the whole interaction from across the gym. At least they hadn’t heard what he said, but Amaya’s eyes were red, and she glared at me like her crumbling relationship was all my fault.
Maybe it was.
Seeing firsthand what that kind of betrayal had done to my mom, I hated myself even more for that.
But I couldn’t help but wish my mom never knew what my dad did. To spare her that pain and the ways she’d plummeted since. Even more than the rumors about using Josh for a Legacy spot, it was not wanting to hurt Amaya that kept my mouth shut.
Reid wove his arms around me, and the uneasiness melted away as my attention narrowed just to him. We began to sway.
“What’s his problem?” he asked, glaring at Josh over my shoulder.
I took a deep breath, trying to quell the heat rising to my skin. “Haven’t you heard the rumors about me and him?”
Reid shrugged. “Yeah. But I don’t believe rumors.”
“What if this one’s true?” I challenged.
He was quiet for a beat, studying me. “Is it?”
I swallowed, my pulse racing so hard I was sure he could feel it under his hands. I didn’t want it to be true. It shouldn’t matter that it was true. And I wanted him—needed him—to keep looking at me like that.
“No,” I lied.
Though he tried to hide it, his expression softened with relief. “Which is exactly why I don’t believe rumors.”
Desperate to change the subject, I infused my voice with as casual a tone as possible. “What about the Bop til You Drop rumor?”
His eyes flew wide, and a little color drained from his face. Oh, it was too good seeing the unflappable Reid Rousseau … flapped.
“I’m going to murder him,” he growled.
I shook my head slowly. “You already look like … that and are freakishly athletic. Give the people some hope that there’s a part of you that’s dorky as hell.”
The corners of his eyes crinkled as his chest shook with laughter against me. “I still have the T-shirt,” he admitted.
My laugh exploded out of me. “Oh, please wear it sometime. I beg of you.”
The shy roll of his eyes was totally disarming.
“You’re blushing,” I teased, trying to make him laugh again.
Instead, he swallowed and looked unnerved. “I know.”
He pulled me a little closer, and I concluded then the woodsy smell was cologne.
He used just a hint of it at his throat, and I hoped it would linger on me when we broke apart.
When his warm brown eyes fell closed for a moment, I realized I’d been absently stroking my fingertips through the hair at the nape of his neck. I stopped and he took a deep breath.
My camera bumped against our hips as he turned me.
“Is everything you’re recording really for the yearbook?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Mostly. But I’m also applying for this really exclusive film school, and I need to submit a sample.
I was thinking of doing something on the Legacy Program.
” Feeling all too exposed I quickly added, “But you never know what might end up in a sweeping doc about my life someday. Or, more likely, yours.”
He frowned a little. “What do you mean?”
“I heard you were talking to college recruiters, state champion.”
He nodded.
“That is … so cool. You’re like the poster child for a Legacy. I can see it now, you coming back as the guest of honor next year, having broken some record. We’ll say we knew you when, and I’ll have all the footage to prove it when they make a docuseries about you.”
Reid laughed, but it sounded uncomfortable. “God, I hope not.”
I frowned. “Why not?”
“I mean, my dad would love it. It’s been his plan all along. But isn’t it a little weird? All of this?”
I followed his gaze around the gym. “All of what?”
“The whole Legacy thing. That the entire town expects us to have our lives figured out already. What if we don’t?”
Our dancing slowed to a barely there sway as we studied each other. “You don’t?”
“Does anyone?”
And then I saw it. A flash of uncertainty behind his eyes like it lived there. Maybe his life wasn’t golden. The more time I spent with him, the more fascinating he became.
We swayed in silence another minute. Electricity shot from his hands to my waist as he squeezed me a little tighter.
I had to concentrate to keep my voice light when I said, “You and Delaney looked like you were having fun.”
“I’m a mere student of the art form. DL is a good teacher.”
I threw him an arched brow. “What’s with the nickname?”
That slow-rising smile of his should’ve been illegal. “You’re jealous.”
“Pff.” I shrugged one shoulder up. “I’m … a concerned citizen at best.”
He burst out laughing. “Do you want a nickname?”
“Don’t patronize me.”
“You do.”
I huffed. “You can’t make a nickname out of my name that isn’t annoying as hell.”
Clare-bear.
He nodded slowly, still terribly amused with himself. “You can’t make a nickname out of Reid, either.”
“You could go the Rihanna route. RiRi?”
“Yeah, no.”
“I tried.”
“Very hard,” he deadpanned.
“It just seems like with Delaney—”
All at once we stopped moving. We were standing in the middle of the dance floor as he studied me. “It’s not. I like someone else.”
My stomach somersaulted. I knew I was going pink when the smirk on his face transformed into a lethal grin.
Something was happening here. Something I’d seen fall apart too many times. I didn’t date for the same reason I didn’t count on Dad. If I got too used to someone being there, it would be that much harder when they inevitably left.
“I don’t want a boyfriend,” I blurted. “I mean, that’s always been my rule. Dating complicates things, and I don’t … like complicated. And I just—I can’t afford to get distracted. Especially not this year.”
His face betrayed nothing as he took that in. But I felt relieved having said it. Better to ensure there was no confusion about what was most important to me. Legacy. Film school. Living the life my mom couldn’t because she fell for the wrong guy.
Nothing holding me back.
“Okay,” he said like he understood.
Or like he wasn’t convinced.
Trepidation tugged at me, but his unwavering gaze was sweet. Open. The harder his eyes dug into mine, the harder it was to remember my own name, let alone why I should back away from him.
“But I’m not going to lie, Clara. Truth or dare kinda fucked me up.”
I laughed a little. Me too.
He leaned in close, his lips brushing my ear. “When you kiss me again, I want you to mean it.”
When.