Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Warren
To breathe was agony. That was all I remembered before waking up with Levette’s lips crushed on mine, taking the pain of breathing away. With every kiss, he took away my pain, and I wanted a lifetime of it.
“Welcome back, my love,” he said when he pulled away.
I studied his face like it was the first time I had ever seen him.
For whatever reason, he was more resplendent than ever, his handsome features even more defined.
His dark hair seemed several shades darker, like the night sky without the glimmer of stars.
His rich skin was dazzling, the color of golden sand, standing out against the darkness of his features.
His violet eyes seemed to glow, and though I knew that was not the case, I could not stop staring.
I could see slivers of silver and indigo in them, and I wondered how strange it was that I had never noticed them before.
Black was smeared across his face, which meant he had been crying. A fury roared within me at the idea of someone hurting my love.
I tried to force myself to sit up, but the second I moved, the entire room shifted and my head spun. There was a pounding so loud in my ears that I brought my hands up to cover them, wincing at the pain.
“Focus on me,” Levette commanded, tilting my face to him. “Listen to my voice and only that.”
Doing as I was told, I zeroed in on his voice. It sounded melodic to me, a deep timber pulling me in like a siren song until everything else slowly dissipated.
“Good, that’s good, mon cher. Just focus on me.”
“What happened?” I asked, my voice sounding hoarse as though I was parched. “Can you get me some water?” My throat ached, a scratching feeling clawing its way up until it felt like I needed to scream.
Levette gripped my chin, keeping my eyes on him. The lights in the room were blinding, the moonlight filtering in and making a halo-like glow surround Levy.
“Kiss me,” Levette commanded, though his voice was almost pleading. “Kiss me one last time before I tell you this, for you may never let me near your lips again.”
There was something tender and almost broken about him, so I obliged.
I wanted to know what had made him feel so somber, what had made him cry those dark tears.
His lips were desperate on mine, taking whatever I could give him.
He sighed into me, fresh tears dripping down his cheeks as he broke away from me.
Lifting his wrist to his mouth, he bit into his skin until blood streamed down his arm. He held it out for me, my mouth watering at the sight. “It is not water that you need, love.”
An unfathomable hunger overtook me, my mouth opening of its own accord as I reached out for Levette’s arm. I was confused and disgusted by myself, even as I felt something burst in my gums before I bit down on Levy’s wrist, drinking his blood like I needed it to survive.
The first taste of it was greater than anything I had ever tried; my hunger was not quenching even as I gulped it down.
I savored every drop, my fingernails digging into his skin as I drank from him.
He was watching me with rapt fascination, but his eyes showed sadness, too.
If I did not feel as though I was starving, I would have stopped to ask him what was on his mind and troubling him—but all I could think of was drinking more.
“Take as much as you need, mon amour,” Levette said, his voice almost breathless. My eyes widened as I realized that he was aroused by me drinking from him. I thought about our first time together, how otherworldly it felt to have him feed from me as I drank from him, and I yearned for a repeat.
“Drink from me, too,” I mumbled against his skin, watching his eyes flutter when my teeth descended on his wrist again.
Levette shook his head. “I cannot. Once you have fed enough to satisfy you momentarily, we must talk.”
The seriousness and slight edge to his tone sent a wave of sickness through me, enough to quench my thirst. I let go of him, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
When I saw the blood there, realizing what I had just done, nausea overtook me and I clambered over his legs to be sick on the floor beside us.
“Warren, your brother…”
The floodgates of my memories opened as I remembered Levette leaving to go home and my brother Robert sneaking into the apartment.
How he had beaten me and berated me for hours on end until I couldn’t speak, could barely open my eyes.
I had prayed to God for someone to save me, had begged Him to send Levette to come and find me.
But I passed out after some time and the darkness had claimed me. I remembered nothing after that.
“Where is he? Did he leave?”
Levette cursed under his breath, his lip curling. “Non, mon amour, your bastard brother is dead. I killed him.”
Fury was an inadequate description for the level of anger that rose in me, my blood boiling beneath my skin. I sprang to my feet, staring down at Levette as my hands balled into fists at my sides. “I told you that I did not want you to harm him! You went against my wishes.”
“Your brother tried to kill you!” Levette shouted, standing toe to toe with me. “I arrived to see him standing over you, barely breathing after he beat you. AGAIN! You expected me to let him go? Une idée vraiment stupide!”
The loudness of his voice thundered in my ears and I doubled over, gasping from the pain. Levette reached out to me, but I pulled away, trying to ignore the pounding in my head while I got the answers I sought.
“It was not your choice to make! He may have been a bastard, but he was my brother, Levette!” I was struck by how much it hurt, knowing that my brother was no longer in the world.
While that hurt lessened over the years, I remembered how much it pained me in that moment.
It felt as though my entire world had been tipped over, everything shattering around me.
“Warren, you must understand—”
I held up my hand, cutting him off. “No. You do not get to make excuses. And now what? I am fine—how? You said I was barely breathing when you found me. Did you feed me your blood again? Did you break another promise?” I massaged my temples, my brain throbbing. “And why does everything FUCKING HURT?”
Levette winced at the anger in my voice, but I did not care. I wanted answers and honesty, and he wasn’t giving me either. The last time we had been together, everything was so perfect; why was everything so drastically different? Levette had killed the only other person who held the answers.
“I had to!” Levette yelled, pleading. “I gave you just a tiny bit, enough to help heal you while I dealt with your brother.”
My mouth ached and I stretched my jaw, rubbing over my face with my hand. I felt the fangs a second before my brain caught up. Realization dawned on me as I returned my gaze to Levette who looked pained, terrified of how I was going to react.
He was right to be.
“Tell me you didn’t…”
Levette ran his hands through his hair, the black strands sticking out everywhere. My perfectly put-together vampire was a mess.
“C'était un accident! Je ne savais pas!” His voice broke, and more of those black tears streamed down his face, only fueling my anger.
“I swear to you, I did not know how weak you were. You already had my blood in your system from the night before, but he had beaten you so badly that your heart was giving out. You died with my blood in your system.”
I roared to the sky, grabbing whatever was close to hand and throwing it against the wall. I watched as the cup shattered into pieces, scattering across the floor. Only then, as my eyes adjusted, did I see my brother’s body in a bloodied heap by the door.
Charging at Levette, I screamed in anger as he collided with the wall, the plaster cracking behind him. “You bastard! You killed him and you condemned me, too!”
Levette grabbed at my arms, flipping us so he had me pinned against the wall, his face in mine. “I had no fucking choice! I did not mean to do this to you, but nor will I apologize for not having to watch you die ever again!”
I shoved at him with all my strength, shocked when he went flying across the apartment. He collapsed onto the floor, gripping his side as he tried to stand.
“Again, it was not your choice. You knew how much I struggled with the idea of being damned, but you do not care that now I am damned for good? How can I possibly ask for forgiveness when I am a monster now?”
Levette growled as he got to his feet, his lip busted and dust coating his hair.
“You told me you did not think of me as a monster! It appears we are both liars, aren’t we, cher?
You cling to your God and Hell like it is the key to your survival, yet you say you think He is loving and forgiving.
FUCKING PICK ONE! You’re damned, but I am redeemable?
I am not a monster, even as I tear people apart with my teeth, but you think of yourself as one?
You are like a tapestry threaded with indecision! Je ne te comprends pas!”
“How can you comment on my faith when you have none?” I retorted, prowling towards him as anger burned inside me. “I did not think of you as a monster before you murdered my brother and took my life from me. Was I supposed to drop to my feet in gratitude?”
“Tu es impossible! I should have let you die, oui? I did not choose to do this to you! It happened, and we are here now. I can help you through it, or you can suffer a lifetime of loneliness!”
How dare he be angry at me for being upset?
Levette knew how I felt about my future, and yet he had allowed me to turn into the very being he wished he wasn’t.
It was confusing, and everything was too bright, too loud.
All I could see was him; all my emotions were wrapped up in him, and it made me enraged.
I grabbed him by the throat, slamming him against the wall. My newfound strength was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
“You would leave me? Abandon me after you took my last breath from me?” I hated how much hurt shone through my fiery words, the way my voice cracked and my grip on his throat loosened.
Levette ripped my hand away from him, spinning us around and trapping me in with his arms. “You foolish man! Have you heard nothing? I would not abandon you; I LOVE YOU! I am not crippled with pain and shame over you becoming immortal because I am selfish, and it means that you will be with me, walking through life for centuries by my side. If I am damned, now I have my love to accompany me.” Mirroring what I had done to him, Levette gripped me by the throat, though his hand tightened in just the right way to make me feel hot all over.
“You can hate me all you want for damning you, Warren—just don’t leave me. ”
He was threatening to break through my anger and I was not ready for what came after, so I pushed him away, punching him in the face so hard that blood ran from his nose and into his mouth. The smell of it made my eyes water, and before I knew what I was doing, I had my lips slammed into his.
Levette laughed, yanking my hair back to expose my neck as he pierced his fangs into my skin.
I groaned, letting him drink and the euphoria to take over, before pulling back and pushing him.
He staggered backward, his back smacking against my tiny bookcase.
Novels fell to the floor as I charged at him, my hands shredding his shirt off as I lapped at the blood on his face.
“I hate you,” I spat, biting down on the soft skin above his collarbone. I drank greedily from him, my mind spiraling between anger, hurt, devotion, and an unquenchable thirst. I wanted him, and I wanted to kill him. I hated him, but I wanted to tie myself to him forever.
“D’accord, mon amour, I can handle your hate,” he said seductively, his hands reaching into my pants. “But let me show you how I love you.”
Dropping to his knees, Levette looked like the poster boy for the damned as he looked up at me, my blood and his tears mixed in dark smears across his skin.
His eyes shone as he gazed up at me through hooded lids, slowly running his tongue over his fangs.
I leaned my head back against the wall, unable to handle the sight of him as his mouth moved over my cock.
My fingers flew into his hair, pulling tightly on his dark locks, as he sucked me into his mouth, his fangs lightly scraping over my skin.
It was overwhelming and intoxicating, feeling him on me and seeing him so crazed.
He was finally free to be the monster he was trying to keep at bay, and though I hated him, I knew I loved him, too.
He was everything I wanted and everything I was so terrified of.
Levette had ruined me, and I would be forced to walk with him for eternity—two broken souls of the damned.
His mouth closed around me at the same time as his tongue connected with my skin, and my hips bucked. Levette chuckled, the vibration tipping me over the edge, and I struggled to hold on. His grip on my hips tightened, his fingernails digging into me.
Letting me go with a pop, Levette pulled back to lick his lips and look up at me. “Every time you want to hate me, just remember what I am about to do to you, love.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but Levette lifted his arm to me, closing his mouth over me at the same time as I punctured his skin. I swallowed his blood with my eyes rolling back as I came, Levy sucking me down with abandon and licking me clean.
He tucked me back into my pants and got to his feet, pressing his body against me as he kissed me breathless. Once I was panting and my body spent from exertion, Levette pressed his forehead against mine, giving me one last soft kiss.
“This does not mean I forgive you. I hate you,” I muttered, my voice sounding defeated. The lie was weak, even to my own ears.
Levy hummed, nodding. “Oui, mon c?ur, I know. Let me spend the rest of our lives earning your love again.”
“That’s a long time.”
“We have forever,” Levette replied, holding me as I collapsed against him.
Forever. I would let myself worry about that later. Everything still hurt, though Levette had provided a wonderfully twisted distraction, and all I wanted was sleep.
And to feed.
It disgusted me that excitement shot through me at the idea of tasting human blood for the first time. I was a monster, and a sick part of me was delighted by it.
Vampirism already had a grasp on me. I just had to stop it from claiming me completely.