Warren’s Diary
Warren’s Diary
The world continues to spin around me, but I feel as though I am lost. Lena and I fought last night, which is becoming a regular occurrence. She told me that I must get control over myself and my anger—I think she is overreacting, as she often does.
It has been almost ten years since I left Levy with only a letter of goodbye.
I find myself thinking about that decision again and again, wondering whether it was the right thing to do for both of us.
I miss him, though I am loath to admit it.
Being without him pains me in ways I cannot comprehend, and that only sends me further into the depths of the monstrous rage that consumes me.
I came home last month to see Lena, and I do not think it was wise. Home is now France, but my heart will always be in New Orleans. With him. Ever since I returned to Lena’s, she has been overbearing, to say the least. She says that I am being careless and allowing my bloodthirst to rule me.
In all truth, I cannot deny that, nor can I completely disregard her concern.
Though I try to brush it aside when she says such things, I have noticed it in myself.
Since leaving Levette, I have found that little satisfies me or my hunger.
He was the balm to the wounds inside me, and without him, the monster reigns free.
I think of how I felt when we were together for the last time and how content I was in his arms. With him, I could breathe freely and allow myself to exist.
I know that together we are destructive and tend to ruin everything around us. I left him for a reason. But sometimes I think about…
No, I will not allow myself to wallow in what ifs. The past is done, and I must move on.
If I cannot have him, I will indulge myself in the only other way I know how.
My hunger is calling. It has been a long time since I ignored that call.
– Warren