Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Levette
I sniffed at the wine in my glass, swirling it around to let the aroma rise. The sweetness of the grapes was split with the bitterness created by the oak barrels in which it was aged. Taking a sip, I hummed in appreciation and pretended that it tasted like anything other than chalk in my mouth.
“This will do fine,” I told the merchant. “We will take all you have. You can bring them through the back—nobody will disturb you.”
Looking around the small restaurant as I perched on a stool at the end of the bar, I couldn’t help but be proud of all I had achieved. Missing him was a daily pain in my soul, but I had lived a life before him, and I would continue to do so.
I sighed in frustration as I realized my thoughts had once again circled back to him. Some days, I was filled with fury and wanted to find him just to scream. Other days, I felt as though part of me was missing, and my body ached without him by my side.
Today was a mix of both blasted emotions. I longed to have him back in my arms, but the thought of seeing him after he chose to leave me again felt like a stake in the heart. We had caused each other so much pain, and yet I would do it all over again just to see his smile.
“Putain de merde,” I muttered, rubbing my hand over my face. “Stop acting like a love-drunk fool.”
“You may be drunk in love, but I would never consider you to be a fool.”
The voice startled me, making me realize how deep in my thoughts I had gone. I blinked, spinning around on the stool to see who was bothering to disturb my peace, never mind speaking to me so casually.
My voice caught in the back of my throat when I saw the woman standing with a smirk on her face and her arms crossed over her chest.
“Ria.”
Ria beamed, opening her arms. “Hello, love.”
I grinned back, moving towards her in a blur and wrapping my arms around her. She laughed brightly as I spun her around. Squeezing her tightly, I gently set her down before cupping her face in my hands.
“You are really here,” I whispered in disbelief. “How? You did not write!”
The restaurant was closed for the night; I relied heavily on mortals to ensure everything went smoothly during the brightest waking hours when I could not be around.
Ria looked around, admiring the lines of lighting and walls adorned with gold accents.
The times were changing, and the place had already been renovated twice, making it inviting and vibrant when others could not afford to change things so easily.
It was good for business, even if I found it tedious to cater to the whims of human tastes.
Ria slid into a seat at the bar, and I took a moment to look her over.
The last time I had seen her was on that boat so many years ago, before we really had a chance to indulge in life together.
I had wanted to show her my city and visit the places I knew she would love, buying books from the small stores and reading under the dim lights on a park bench.
My imagination had run rampant, showing me a million things we could do and experience—embracing life with a friend for the first time rather than being on my own.
But she had a purpose in every lifetime, and I would not stand in the way of that for my own selfish desire for companionship.
And now that I knew what it felt like to love, truly and deeply, I would not wish for her to abandon that for me.
Her dress was a loose chiffon, reaching just below her knees, the peachy material draped over her shoulders.
Ria had chosen to cut her brown locks into a short bob, neatly arranged around her face.
It was a jarring change, and yet she still looked elegant and timeless.
The youthful look of her face remained, though her cheeks had been touched with rouge and her lips painted lightly which added years to her image.
“Are you disappointed? I know we made promises to each other, but I am not na?ve enough to think that time does not change things,” Ria said, trying to smile, though her voice was edged with sadness. “You do not owe anything to someone you knew for a few short weeks.”
I shook my head, sliding onto the seat beside her and taking her hand in mine.
“You are the only friend I have, Ria. Promises are not something I make lightly. In every lifetime, I swear to you, I will be your friend. My only disappointment is that I was not aware you were back sooner. Our time will always be fleeting, and that makes me sad.”
Ria broke into a huge smile, throwing her arms around me in a tight hug. “Oh, Levette, I am so glad to hear that! I have much to tell you, but first, I need a drink and a cigarette. Having centuries of memories flood back to you can be so exhausting.”
Sliding my cigarettes to her, I made my way behind the bar and poured her a glass of the wine I had just bought. She took a long drag and blew the smoke out the side of her mouth with a relieved sigh.
“You remember everything?”
She nodded, sipping a glass of wine. “Yes, everything. And let me tell you, it gets so much worse every time. The last time…it was horrific.”
“I know,” I told her, grinning with my fangs on show. “I made them pay for what they did to you, mon ami.”
Ria gasped, her eyes widening. “You knew? How?”
“Young William found me.”
My heart softened as I saw her eyes fill with tears and she grabbed a napkin to dab at her cheeks. “I did not expect…Oh, that sweet child. What did he tell you?”
“All of it. He stole the letter from the messenger and brought it to me. He told me that you were scared and how they abused you. The poor garcon was brave, sat with me even when he was risking his own life. He wanted me to know everything.”
She sobbed quietly, looking away. I could hear the beat of her heart in her chest, thumping louder and louder as she cried. Ria was strong, but she was still human; emotions could not be thrown away for her so easily.
“What did you do?” she whispered, her voice laced with grief. “Why did you risk your life for me? Why did he?”
“Because a true friendship is not formed on time or bonding, it is something that one feels. You impacted my life so greatly with your kind heart and the tragedies you had faced that I would, and always will, do anything I can to help and protect you. I can only assume that you did the same for William. Your strength helped him find his.”
Ria wiped at her tears as I regaled her with what I had done to the men who had hurt her. She squeezed my hands when words failed her, silently thanking me in a way I understood.
We sat in silence for a while afterward, Ria gathering her thoughts while I tried not to think about how much I would have loved to introduce Warren to her.
After some time had passed, Ria cleared her throat and straightened her back. Waving her dainty hand in the air, she dismissed what we had been speaking about. “Enough of that. I am tired of talking about that. Tell me all about your life. What have I missed?”
The question had been one I expected, yet it instantly made my heart ache as I realized how empty my life now was without Warren.
It mattered little how much time passed; the hurt was always there, reminding me that he had chosen to leave me.
That I had not been enough for him. He claimed it was because of what we created in each other, but I knew better than that—it was fear.
We were both scared of committing, of putting in the work to change and be what the other needed.
We allowed ourselves to be monsters because it was easier than fighting our demons.
“I allowed my heart to be stolen.”
Ria smiled, shaking her head. “My sweet friend, you and I both know that your heart is not a thing that just anyone could take. You gave it willingly, did you not? Tell me about the person who made you feel human again.”
I growled softly, detesting that she was correct and could see through my half-truths.
To tell her about Warren meant opening the wound I was desperately trying to close. Yet, if I were honest with myself, I knew it was something I could never heal from.
I poured myself another glass of wine, swirling it around and watching as the red liquid swished from side to side.
“To feel human is a weakness. He has exhausted me beyond belief, and loving him has incapacitated me. I love him to the point of madness, and even when I am weary, I would love him still.”
Ria laughed, nodding her head. “That is a feeling I know well. But feeling human is not a weakness. It makes you strong because it allows you to understand more. Loving someone changes you, and I do not believe that is a bad thing. We must grow to survive, and surviving immortality requires more change than anyone could ever understand.”
“Well, clearly it did not change me enough because he chose to leave me. I am stuck loving someone who desired a life without me in it,” I spat, the bitterness seeping out.
I threw the glass across the room, watching as it collided with the wall and shattered, the wine splattered against the paintwork.
“Il ne m'aimait pas autant que je l'aimais! Our love was never equal.”
“You sound like a foolish child,” Ria said, rolling her eyes.
“You have so much anger in your heart because you still love him, yes? While I cannot pass judgment until you actually tell me about him—which, yes, you are absolutely going to do, I demand it—I will say that I cannot imagine you ever allowing yourself to love someone without receiving the same in return. Immortal creatures are selfish, and we ache to be loved fiercely; in return, that means we do not choose our partners unwisely.”
“Am I not allowed to be angry?”