Chapter 29 #2
Ria sighed, swatting me on the arm. “You are a hard-headed buffoon! Yes, you can be angry, but you cannot use it to erase your pain. If you did not love him with your entire heart, even with all that hurt, you would not be trying to pretend you are so unaffected to the point it explodes.”
“You do not know—”
“Do not finish that sentence, Levette,” Ria warned. “I do know, and that is why I am trying to help you. So take a damn breath, and once you are over your little tantrum, you are going to tell me all about your beloved.”
“Are you sure you have to leave?” I pursed my lips as Ria lit a cigarette and inhaled slowly, her hand trembling slightly. “She is not the same as you once left her.”
Ria grinned, her face lighting up with it. “Good, I should hope not. Magdalena Vulpe has been slightly different every lifetime I get to share with her…That’s what makes it so much fun.” She winked, blowing a circle of smoke out the corner of her mouth.
The time for her to leave was inevitable—I had accepted that she would have to go away every time I got to see her—but the idea of her leaving was painful. It made the loneliness inside me thrash, and I struggled to hide how empty it made me feel.
Part of me was angry. It was far from Ria’s fault, and I wanted nothing but happiness for her, yet her leaving to go to Lena was maddening.
Of all the people she had to be in love (and eternally cursed) with, it had to be dear old Maggie.
The same vampire whom I respected and loathed in equal measure.
Lena had taken my love from me, and she was taking her own back, too.
Bitterness gnawed at me, and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was a punishment.
I had openly blamed Lena for Ria’s predicament, and perhaps Lena was getting her own version of justice, leaving me alone without Warren and my best friend.
“This feels like a goodbye,” I muttered sadly, hating how vulnerable I was around her. I would miss Ria, her silly jokes, and her efforts to make me smile. She brought out a part of me that only Warren had ever found.
Ria looped her arm through mine, resting her head on my shoulder.
“I spend my life waiting to lose the people I love. Over and over again, the vicious and painful cycle continues. Every moment of my life feels like a goodbye, but none of them truly are. You are an immortal being, love; that means we never have to say that pesky word.”
“Is she really worth it?” I hadn’t meant to voice the question, but it was the same one that had been circling my brain for days. Love was a messy, painful thing, and for Ria, it always resulted in her death. Lena was not worthy of her.
“Yes, she is.” Ria’s tone was so matter-of-fact that it always made me want to find Lena worthy. “Tell me, wouldn’t you wish for one more moment with your Warren? To hold and kiss him again?”
I looked away, closing my eyes. She was right, and I hated it.
Despite the anger and the hurt and the grief, I would fall to my knees before Warren if he would allow me close to him again.
He brought color to my life and made me see everything differently.
He reminded me what it felt like to be human and to love without abandon.
“I would.”
“Exactly. The difference is, love, that you don’t have to worry about Warren dying in your story.
Mine and Lena’s…” She sighed, squeezing my arm tighter.
“She loses me every time she gets me back. There are hundreds of years of my life when I vanish from existence, and when I am reborn, I do not remember her until eighteen years have passed. For Lena, she never gets to forget. She lives with that pain and has to continue surviving, even if she wants to join me in the grave.”
It was easier to be angry at Lena than to think of her in constant pain. My heart was in constant turmoil without Warren, but the knowledge that he was still out there, living and seeing the world, made it more bearable. Lena didn’t have that to rely on.
Until the day she managed to break the curse on Ria, I would always be angry at Lena.
I blamed her for their predicament, and I blamed her even more because Ria kept suffering just to be with her.
That part of me would not change…but even I could admit that her pain was a heartbreaking penalty she didn’t deserve.
“Je suis désolé, mon ami.” I placed a soft kiss to the top of her head.
“Whatever could you be sorry for?” she asked, laughing softly.
“I never found a way to help, to sever the curse. If I had, you would not have to go through this again.”
Ria lifted her hair so she could look at me.
Reaching out, she placed her soft hand on my cheek.
“Darling, you help me more than I could ever ask for. Look at you right now; I came to you, and you called my beloved for me. You have looked after me for days while I waited for her arrival, and you made me feel so loved in the process. You have been a better friend than I deserve and have given more to me than anyone before. The curse being removed is a responsibility that rests solely on Lena and I, not you. Never apologize for that again.”
She placed a kiss on my cheek and went in to grab her luggage.
I waited outside, my skin itching when Lena stormed around the corner.
Her long, blonde hair had been folded and twisted into a carefully crafted bun at the nape of her neck, finger-waves creating smooth curls around her face.
Her lips were painted the brightest rouge, standing stark against her pale skin and the pastel yellow of her dress.
As always, she looked ethereal, and at that moment, it made me angry.
Lena would forever look like an angel, and the deceptiveness of that was cruel—she would always be trusted by the na?ve and innocent people in the world, and they wouldn’t know until it was too late that she was wicked.
Stepping out from the doorway, I blocked the entrance, folding my arms over my chest. I knew Lena was old and powerful, but I doubted Maggie would do anything while Ria was around. She would not risk harming me if it meant upsetting her love.
“Ah, Levette, how I have missed you,” Lena commented dryly. “Now get the hell out of my way.”
“Not until we have a little chat.” I leaned back against the door, making sure she wouldn’t be able to step around me.
Lena hissed, baring her fangs. “I have waited too long to see her, Levette. I will tear you apart if you get in my way.”
I shrugged. “And hurt the only two people that you let into that cold, dead heart of yours? I highly doubt it.”
“I do not think you want to play that game, boy.”
“Oh, but I do.” I leaned forward until I was eye level with her, narrowing my eyes. “You are a toxic woman, and you do not deserve them.”
“Them?” Lena laughed ruefully, putting her hand on my chest and shoving me back with just enough force to make me stumble.
“I did not take Warren from you. And whether or not you believe me, I care little, but I am not trying to take Valeria from you either. She has been the keeper of my heart since we were children, but I do not own her. She is my partner, and I would never deprive her of a friendship, especially with someone who went to such lengths to help her. We may not like each other, but I respect you and the lengths you go to for those you love.”
“You allow her to die! Time and time again, you do nothing to save her. You call that love? If you love her, why do you let her go?”
I lunged at her, my vision turning red as I lost control.
I was about to grab her neck when she spun around, kicking me so hard that I was thrown through the glass door.
My chest heaved as I winced, trying to get to my feet, but Lena was quicker.
She stood over me, placing a heeled foot onto my stomach to keep me down.
“Are you done?”
“No!” I swept my arm under her leg, knocking her off balance.
I hadn’t accounted for cat-like reflexes as she caught herself from falling and began to run at me.
I dodged her first hit, but the second punch collided with my jaw, sending me back onto my ass.
I cursed and spat out the blood onto the floor beside me.
Lena, looking entirely unscathed by our little brawl, crossed her arms as she looked down at me. “Is that all you can do? I’m disappointed. Warren thinks he’s weak, but you are really the weak one, aren’t you?”
Grabbing a chair, I snapped it over my thigh and grabbed the broken leg, holding it like a stake.
I ran forward, trying to plunge it into her stomach—enough to wound her, but not kill her.
Lena laughed and moved behind me, kicking the back of my legs.
I fell forward onto my knees, my bones thudding against the hard flooring.
“Try harder, pet.”
I roared and reached out, grabbing her ankle and smacking her back against the floor.
She wheezed, wrestling to push me off, but I straddled her hips and punched her back.
She grinned like the crazy bitch she was, her teeth becoming bloody as I landed another hit.
Just as the third hit was about to connect, Lena used all her strength to push me off, throwing me across the room.
I connected with the wall, the plaster cracking behind me as I slumped to the floor.
Yet I still could not stop. This was the woman who had taken my heart from me. Now she was taking my best friend. I would not stop until she felt a fraction of the hurt she had caused me. She deserved that and more.
I charged at her, ready to throw my entire bodyweight at her, when I was stopped in my tracks.
Lena held her hands out and pulled them down to her sides, my body moving with it.
I was pulled to my knees, and no matter how much I fought against it, I could not move.
I hissed at her as she approached, but she merely shook her head and sighed.
“You are a crazy bastard, you know,” she muttered, pulling up a chair to sit in front of me. “Did you get it all out of your system?”
“Fuck you!” I ground out, fighting against her invisible restraints. The harder I fought, the tighter her grip became.
She slapped me across the face before I even saw her move, my cheek burning from the impact. “Stop acting like a damn child and just listen.”
“You may be angry at me, Levette, but this?” she said, waving her hand around us at the desolation I’d just caused my business.
“This is stupidity. You cannot face the anger you feel towards yourself, so you would rather take it out on me. I can take it; I will even allow you some hits if that is what you need, but let us not pretend this is about me. You asked me why I let Ria go if I love her so much; I don’t let her go.
There is never a day of my life that she is not with me, where every other thought is of her. ”
Something in me broke at her words, and as much as I hated the idea of showing weakness to Magdalena Vulpe, my throat clogged, and tears welled in my eyes.
“Then why did he let me go?” I took a deep breath, feeling Lena’s restraints weaken. I fell forward onto my hands, my head hanging to cover my face as tears broke free. “He did not love me enough to try to keep me. He left me.”
“Did you ever think to ask him?” Lena asked, an unusual softness in her voice.
I raised my head slowly, finding her looking at me with an expression I hadn’t seen on her before—understanding.
“Levette, you cannot own Warren’s pain and yours.
It is too much for one person to bear. I love him, and I will always be there for him, choosing him, but I have been around for so long that I will not excuse his behavior.
He has made foolish decisions and has hurt himself and you so much; you have both hurt each other.
Yet I do not think it is fair for you to blame yourself for something he chose to do. ”
My eyes burned as I stared at her in disbelief. I had never expected Maggie to show me any emotion other than boredom and annoyance.
Her words resonated in me, and I sighed, rubbing my face. “I miss him.”
Lena nodded at my confession. “He misses you, too.”
“How…Is he okay?”
She blinked, contemplating for a moment before she shrugged. “He is alive, but he is losing pieces of himself. He told me he decided to leave because you are better apart, but I don’t know if that’s still true. There are times when I don’t recognize him.”
“I should go to him. I can bring him back to himself again.”
Lena shook her head. “No, you can’t. He left for a reason, and it’s up to him to find the answer. You cannot force him to stay, nor to accept you or himself. He needs to work it out on his own, and you have to allow him to do that.”
“Will you watch over him? Don’t let him lose himself too much.”
“Levette, he’s my friend and a member of my coven. I will allow no harm to come to him, even at his own hands via self-destruction. You have my word that no harm will come to him.”
“And Ria?” I dared to ask, raising my eyebrows at her.
She looked away, but not before I could see her flinch. “I will always do whatever I can to protect her. That is all I can promise.”