Chapter 34 #3
“Treating him like that, like he was something I could throw away and return to whenever I was ready—I understand your anger, Lena. Your disappointment. You had to watch me waste that.” My voice cracked, and I averted my gaze, looking at my hands.
They were trembling, and I realized how much of it I had kept hidden, unable to admit.
“I thought if I left first, then it was self-preservation. Now I see that it was just cruel.”
That was it. Those words were what shattered whatever remained inside of me. Every piece of anger was stripped away, baring my soul completely.
It was recognition.
Admittance.
Accountability.
“I am sorry, Lena,” I whispered, raising my head. I needed to see, to hear, to truly understand that I meant every word. “What you showed me…I cannot imagine what you have had to live through. How you are still standing is beyond my comprehension.”
Lena’s mouth twitched into a tiny, sad smile. “I stand for her. I will never let Valeria go through life without me there waiting for her when she is ready. I will never allow her to go through the pain of goodbye when I know how that breaks someone.”
I moved forward, slowly, as though approaching her like a predator waiting to pounce. I was surprised, but grateful, when she allowed me to take her hands in mine.
“What you have endured, survived, you should never have had to do alone.” I squeezed her palms gently, bringing them to my chest. “I would do anything to have prevented you from suffering even one of those goodbyes. To know that I have instead caused another is irreparable, I know, but I will spend the rest of my immortal life doing whatever it takes to earn your trust again. Let me aid you in freeing your soul and hers.”
Apologies were just words when they served as a way to take away the harm that you caused. But when they acknowledged the pain and responsibility of it? That was the beginning of change, the start of being better. Lena would be able to tell the difference, I was sure.
Lena stood, pulling me to my feet. I was surprised when she stepped closer and wrapped her tiny arms around me, squeezing me in a tight embrace.
I felt her shudder against me, hugging her back and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
Only when she pulled back, and I saw the cold demeanor click back into place, did I realize that I had more consequences to face.
“I love you, Warren,” she said, pressing a hand to my cheek.
“But Valeria is my soulmate, and you cost me more time with her. You ruined centuries of work. You were correct when you said I was the Authority’s pawn, but that is where I need to be to gain enough power to end them.
You stripped me of some of that power. And in return, you brought yourself to their attention. ”
I blinked. Once, twice. “What are you trying to say?”
Lena smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. Instead, it looked devastating on her angelic face, as though it didn’t belong there.
“They wanted you. They saw that I had an emotional attachment to you, and they knew they could use you against me. You would be a pawn in my pain. I will not allow that.” She stepped back, looking towards the open door.
“I told them you were my ward, my responsibility, and I would punish you accordingly.”
“You want me to leave?” I asked. My voice was small, and I hated how feeble it made me sound.
“If you stay, they will use you to torture me. And if you do not follow their orders, they will kill you and make me watch. I cannot go through that. I won’t watch you die, too.
” Lena closed her eyes for a moment. I hated that I was, yet again, the cause of her pain.
“They will accept it as punishment if I banish you. I can send you away on coven business for a time until their anger passes, and they forget about you. It will save you and it means we do not have to suffer a farewell.”
I shook my head and reached for her hand, feeling more tears pour down my cheeks. “I can’t! I don’t want to leave you.”
Lena inhaled slowly before stepping out of reach.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “Warren Hayes, I command you to leave New Orleans immediately. You will serve the coven as a nomad until I decide your punishment has been served. If you go against my orders or those of the Authority, you will be sentenced to death and will meet the sun. Do you understand these conditions?”
“I understand,” I choked out, feeling the world around me crumble.
I watched my best friend nod, a flicker of guilt in her eyes. She placed a kiss on my cheek, whispering in my ear, “Be strong and don’t fight it. This way, nobody gets hurt. You can earn my forgiveness by surviving, Warren. Be my aid from afar, and I promise, I will bring you home.”
Swiping at the tears on my face, I nodded once and made my way to the door. I turned back briefly, long enough to offer her one last smile. “I love you, princess. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”
I turned away, not knowing whether I was heading into my punishment, or walking away from the family I had chosen.
Whether it was mercy or punishment, it hurt all the same.