Chapter Twenty
In the golden-hour light, Charlene didn’t appear to greet Tim with her goofy smile and wagging tail, and Liam’s SUV wasn’t in the driveway. Tim’s pulse picked up as he crossed the backyard to the pod. If Lachlan wasn’t inside, it’d be fine. It wouldn’t mean anything.
And if Lachlan decided they really should end it, Tim would survive. Even if that felt impossible.
He hadn’t texted during the day, mostly because he’d been too busy with the search and police and media and public and other lifeguards. Also partly because he didn’t want to, what? Jinx it? Lachlan hadn’t texted him either.
As he reached the pod, his heart leapt to hear the murmur of the TV. He found Lachlan propped up on pillows in bed, shirtless and wearing a pair of Tim’s gray trackies. A beaming smile brightened his beautiful face, and yep. There was no bloody doubt.
Tim wasn’t giving him up.
“Sorry I’m back late.” He hung up his jacket, needing to do something with his hands.
“No dramas.” Lachlan motioned to the TV as he switched it off. “I was just watching a Spider-man movie for the hundredth time.”
“Did you eat?”
“Cheese toastie for lunch.”
“Are you hungry now? I’ll make you another. Or I’ll order whatever you like.”
“I’m good for now. Is it… It’s okay that I stayed?”
“I told you to stay. You saw the note, didn’t you?”
Lachlan nodded. “I was afraid you’d change your mind.”
“No.”
He wanted this. Needed this. And that was probably bloody selfish, but he didn’t care. Didn’t they deserve a chance to see if they could actually make a go of it?
Tim sat on the side of the bed and took Lachlan’s hand.
Squeezing his fingers tightly, Lachlan asked, “Did you find him?”
“Not yet. There’s a lot of silt from the big surf. Conditions’ll be better tomorrow. How are you feeling?”
“I’m…processing. Keep going over it in my mind. Replaying it. Slept a lot too.” He swallowed thickly. “Did the family come?”
“They’re arriving tonight from Broken Hill.”
“Oh. Country boy. How are his mates?”
“They’re recovering. The bloke was kept in hospital overnight. Water on his lungs.”
Lachlan blew out a long breath. “Right. I think…is it okay if I don’t work tomorrow? Mia said she’d take my shift.”
“Absolutely.”
“Ryan and the boys—Daz and Jacko and the gang—want to take me up to Lancelin to go sandboarding. They’re taking off work for it.”
“That’ll be good. Shit, I haven’t been to Lancelin in years. Decades.” He had a memory of the white sand dunes contrasted against the huge, brilliant blue sky. Flying down the dunes with Petey and their mates.
“Yeah. Daz rang today. They’ve all checked in. It’s—I’ve known them my whole life, and even if we don’t have a ton in common anymore, they’re still my mates. I need to pull my head in and just have a laugh with them.”
“Good idea.” Tim rubbed his thumb over Lachlan’s knuckles.
Lachlan smiled sadly. “Guess there’s nothing like death for a bit of perspective.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
He gripped Tim’s hand. “I know. I just wish… It was seconds. It’s not fair.”
“It isn’t.”
“And that’s life, right? But sometimes, it’s a real fucking gut punch.”
“It is.” Tim wished desperately that he could take away Lachlan’s guilt and pain and add it to his own scars.
“Wasn’t fair a drunk hoon got on the road that night and hit my parents.
God, I hate the what-ifs. What if they’d left five minutes earlier?
Hell, one minute? Taken the coast road instead?
Or stayed home that night. Dad hadn’t wanted to go since he had too much work, which of course sparked another row.
Mum said they weren’t wasting the money on the tickets. What if she’d given in?”
“You’ll drive yourself mental thinking about it.”
“I know, but what if I’d spotted the patients ten seconds earlier? Five? What if they’d just listened to us and gotten out of the water?”
“It’s not your fault.” Tim would tell Lachlan every minute of every day until he believed it.
“I did everything I could, didn’t I?”
“You really did.” Tim held his gaze. “And everyone knows that. It’s not your fault. Doesn’t make it any easier.”
“No. But I reckon the shock’s worn off. I’ve been talking about it all day. Getting used to it. Ryan rang first. Then Mark and Mia, Bickie. Baz, Hazza, Ronnie. Chalkers, of course. Everyone, I think. Damo, Blake, Cody.” He winced. “I didn’t tell Cody I was actually in his yard.”
“Of everyone, I reckon he’ll take it in stride.”
Lachlan hesitated and laughed awkwardly. “You make it sound like we’re telling him.”
“We can.” Tim’s throat was dry. “We should.”
“About us? I mean, not that there’s an ‘us’ per se.”
“What if there was? Because there is, even if we try to pretend there’s not.”
Lachlan’s breath hitched. “You and me?”
“No, me and Dame Edna.”
“Isn’t she dead?”
“Think so, which would make it even more surprising.”
Lachlan laughed and bit his lip, which made Tim want to kiss him even more than he already did. Why had he waited so long? “You want us to see each other? For real? Date?”
“Is that what the kids are saying these days?”
“Beats me.”
Tim squeezed Lachlan’s hand. He was desperate to haul him into his arms, but he had to say this first. “Never kissed another man before you. Barely told anyone I’m bi. I want to, though.” He frowned. “Not kiss another bloke. Only you.”
His brown eyes alight, Lachlan smiled. “I don’t want anyone else either.”
“In the open. Out loud. Not ashamed. If people don’t like it, tough shit.”
Lachlan nodded eagerly, leaning forward. Then his face fell. “But what about work? And Ry?”
“Ryan will come around. Don’t you think?”
After a few moments, Lachlan nodded. “He will.”
“And I told Teddy. I’ll be resigning later this week.”
“He knows?” Lachlan’s jaw dropped. “He rang this arvo and didn’t say a word. Just talked about the drowning. Made sure I knew about the counseling on offer.”
“He’s a good man.” Tim hated that he’d let him down. But if he had to choose, he was choosing Lachlan, even if it made him a selfish dickhead. Lachlan was worth it. Worth everything.
“What’ll you do for a job? You won’t have to go back to Queensland, will you?”
“No. Right here’s where I want to be.” He nuzzled Lachlan’s stubbly cheek. “Home.”
Lachlan bit his lip. “But where will you work?”
“I’ll figure it out. I’ve got a fair bit of savings now. Learned my lesson. Don’t worry about me.”
“Of course I’m worrying about you.” Lachlan leaned forward and drew Tim close, his hand on the back of Tim’s neck. “I’ll be a lawyer again and take care of you.”
“I’ll be your…what do they call it? Sugar baby?”
Lachlan sputtered and laughed. “My kept man.”
“I’m a touch old, though.”
“It’s just a number. Who cares?”
“Quite a few people, I reckon.”
“They can get stuffed,” Lachlan said firmly. Then he seemed to waver, pulling back. “But what if this doesn’t work out? It’s still new.”
“There’s only one way to find out. All I know is I’ll regret it if we don’t try, and I’ve lived too long with a fuckload of regret.”
They had to kiss then or else Tim would climb out of his skin. Lachlan lunged for his mouth, and with lips and tongues meeting, they moaned. He kicked himself again for not kissing Lachlan every chance he’d had.
The rasp of stubble, Lachlan’s sweet little gasps, his hands strong on Tim’s shoulders. Demanding and needy at the same time.
They tugged off their clothes, both hard. Tim pinned Lachlan to the bed by his hips and swallowed his cock, eager to taste him.
Lachlan stretched his mouth, his flesh hot and straining as his gasps filled Tim’s ears and his fingers gripped his head and shoulders. Tim shut his eyes, all of his other senses overwhelmed by Lachlan.
He wanted to drown in him.
“Will you fuck me?” Lachlan panted.
Tim slowly pulled off, his mouth wet, and met Lachlan’s fevered gaze. “Is that what you need?”
He nodded. “I want to feel you tomorrow.”
“Oh, you will.”
With a growl, Tim shoved Lachlan’s knees up to his shoulders and spit on his hole. If Lachlan needed a rough fuck, that’s what he’d get.
Tim opened him with his tongue and mouth, kissing and licking and spitting. Lachlan’s cockhead leaked, but Tim didn’t touch it.
“Please.”
As desperate as Tim was to plunge deep into him, he needed the lube. Lachlan watched him, lips parted, breathing hard. He licked his lips, and Tim groaned.
He lowered Lachlan’s legs and shifted up. “I’m going to take your mouth first.”
Lachlan opened wide, and Tim eased into that wet, incredible heat. Going up on his knees, he leaned on the wall and found the right angle to keep pushing into Lachlan’s throat. Lachlan made wet, gurgling sounds as Tim fucked his face.
The temptation to let go and shoot down his throat was strong, but he pulled out, and Lachlan coughed, his cheeks red.
“Okay?” Tim asked, brushing back his hair. It was getting hot in the pod even with the air con, and sweat beaded on Lachlan’s forehead.
Nodding, Lachlan begged, “Please.”
“Why didn’t I keep the lube over here?” Tim muttered.
Lachlan ran his hands over Tim’s chest restlessly. “It’s fine. Just fuck me.”
His dick was wet with Lachlan’s saliva, but no. He wasn’t taking any chances. He rolled to his feet and crossed to the bathroom. It was getting dark in the pod now that the sun was down, but he knew the shape of the lube bottle by feel.
Waiting, Lachlan stroked his dick and played with his nipples until Tim gave him a stern look. “Did I say you could do that?”
Shuddering, Lachlan shook his head.
Leaning down, Tim kissed him long and hard, then murmured, “I’ve got you.” Inching lower, he sucked one nipple while he teased the other until Lachlan squirmed helplessly.
Tim stretched out on his back before pulling Lachlan over his hips. Eyes dark with lust, lips parted, Lachlan blinked at him.
“You’re going to ride me. Take every inch of me, and this time, you’re going to come all over me. Can you do that?”
With a moan, Lachlan mumbled, “Yes, oh my god.”