Chapter 26
R ival
I woke to the feeling of warmth, weight in my lap, and soft lips pressed against mine. My arms lifted to steady the body against me and when I opened my eyes and smiled, Sailor's face was inches from mine.
"Hey?"
"What are you doing here?" she asked with her hands resting on my shoulders.
After leaving her apartment I made it as far as the lobby before deciding I couldn't leave her.
"My wife is here. You needed space, so I gave you space, but my job as your husband is to be wherever you are. So I wasn't leaving."
The smile that spread across her face was so fucking beautiful. "You were going to sleep in the lobby all night?"
"If that's what it took. I wasn't going to force my way back into your apartment, but I wasn't going home without you either." My hands settled on her hips.
She shook her head and a smile still lingered on her face. "You're interesting."
"I prefer dedicated." I was trying extremely hard to ignore how good she felt in my lap.
"Take me home, please.” The words were simple but held so much damn weight.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." She pressed her forehead to mine. "I want to go home. To our home."
I stood, lifting her with me before gently setting Sail on her feet. "Let's go home."
The drive was quiet but not tense. When we reached the house, I half-expected her to head across the hall but she followed me to our bedroom.
"I need to shower.”
She nodded. "I'll be here."
When I left the bathroom ten minutes later, Sailor was already in bed with sheets pulled up to her waist, wearing one of my t-shirts. The sight of her had my dick growing instantly.
Before I could get settled good, she moved closer, rested her head on my chest, and dropped her leg across mine.
"I'm sorry for running, not giving you a chance to explain, and assuming the worst."
"I'm sorry too. I should have told you about her from the beginning. You deserved to know."
She lifted her head, propping her chin on my chest, and looked at me. "Why didn't you? Really?"
"At first it didn't seem relevant. There was no comparison between the two of you in my mind and this thing with us was chaotic as hell. By the time things started to change between us, I knew telling you would make you pull back. You already didn’t trust me for shit.”
"I would have run so damn fast."
I kissed her forehead. "I know."
"But that doesn't make it right. You should have told me."
“Yeah, I should have trusted you more and given you the chance to decide for yourself. But when you consider the facts, it looks crazy as hell, like I could have been on some bullshit."
“Definitely looked like you were on some bullshit.”
“I wasn’t though and I hope you believe me.”
“I do but what happened with you two?"
If she needed this, I would give it to her. "We met at a fundraiser. I was donating a piece for auction and she was there representing her firm. We hit it off, started dating, and things moved quickly. She was driven. I didn’t have a problem with that. She knew what she wanted, didn't waste time. Six months in, we were talking about marriage."
I paused, remembering how certain I was and how blindsided I felt when it all fell apart.
"We got the license but before we could file it she got an offer from her firm. A partnership track that would require her to relocate to their New York office for a year. She didn't even discuss it with me, just accepted. When I asked about us and our plans, she said we could do long distance or I could move to New York. No fucking discussion about it. She just made the decision."
"You didn't want to do either of those things?"
"It wasn't about what I wanted," I clarified. "It was about how easily she made a life-altering decision without me, as if our relationship was an afterthought. She treated me like I was an accessory to her life and not a partner or someone she was building a future with. That shit would never work for me."
Sailor nodded against my chest, understanding.
"I realized then that I cared about her but not enough and we also wanted different things. Her priority was the career with relationships fitting around it. I wanted a partnership and a family. Neither approach is wrong but what we wanted wasn’t compatible."
"So you ended it," she concluded.
"I did. It was necessary. We wanted different futures."
“I’m career driven too.”
“You are but would you make that kind of decision with me as an afterthought or would we talk that shit out?”
She smiled. “Talk it out.”
I nodded in confirmation. They were not the same.
She was quiet for a long moment. "And what future do you want now?"
"I want whatever future you're in. I want us to build something together. Not your life and my life running parallel but our lives so fucking blurred that there’s no me without you and you without me. I want mornings with coffee and evenings by the fire pit and arguments about whose turn it is to do laundry. I want the mundane shit that most people don’t even consider worthy of a conversation. I want all that but only with you."
She lifted onto her elbow and kissed me. It was timid then quickly deepened into something more urgent, more needy.
"I love you.” It was the first time she'd said it and I was already addicted.
"Say that again," I murmured, needing to be sure.
She smiled and let her hands frame my face. "I love you, Rival Hassan."
"I love you too. This shit can’t be healthy."
"Your apology is accepted, by the way," I said after a while, unable to resist teasing her a little.
"I noticed you didn't acknowledge it earlier. You know that was huge for me, right? Sailor Addison doesn't apologize."
"I know," I confirmed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "That's how I knew you meant it."
She was quiet for a moment. "I'm still scared sometimes of how much I feel for you, of how quickly everything changed."
"You don’t have to be scared, Sail. I promise I got you. If you don’t trust a damn thing in life, trust that, always."