Chapter 25
S ailor
The door closed behind Rival with a soft click that echoed in the emptiness of my apartment. I sat motionless on the sofa, replaying his words over and over.
"It could only ever be you."
Did I believe him? Could I trust that what we had was real and not reincarnation of a failed relationship with a woman who, on paper at least, could have been my professional twin?
I set my glass down and moved to the window. This view used to feel like a prize that solidified my life with no attachments or expectations beyond what I chose to accept. Now it just felt empty.
So much had changed and this place stopped feeling like home. The realization hit me with much needed clarity. This apartment hadn't felt like home since I'd moved in with Rival. Home was now hardwood floors that creaked in specific spots, the scent of my husband’s cologne, the sound of Rival’s voice, and his presence. Home was wherever he was.
"Damnit," I whispered, pressing my forehead against the cool glass.
I was in love with him. Completely, irrevocably in love with him. Enough to accept that love required trust and vulnerability, even when it was terrifying and every instinct screamed at me to run or retreat.
My father's voice was still in my head, warning me that I was being too trusting, but what if he was wrong? What if this time my lack of trust was the problem.
Rival showed up for me tonight. He hadn't given me space to spiral.
"I'm always going to show up and I’m always going to choose you. Every fucking time, even when you're pushing me away."
I moved away from the window, feeling too damn restless in the apartment that no longer felt like mine. After a quick shower I crawled in bed, half expecting the familiarity of my old space to comfort me, but instead I tossed and turned, unable to rest.
This bed didn’t feel like mine anymore. I missed Rival's solid warmth beside me, the rhythm of his breathing and the way he instinctively reached for me in sleep.
When my phone vibrated with a call, I felt grateful for the distraction.
"Hey.”
"Just checking in. You okay?" Sky sounded cautious.
"I'm fine," I said automatically, then corrected myself. "Actually, no. I'm not fine but I will be."
"Did Rival find you?"
"Yeah, he did. We talked." I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling.
"And?"
"He explained about that woman and why he didn't tell me."
"Do you believe him?"
The question hung in the air as I considered my answer. "I want to. Everything in me wants to believe him."
"But?"
"But I'm scared, Sky. I've never felt this way about anyone. I've never been this vulnerable."
"Welcome to love, sis," Skylar said softly. "It's terrifying."
"How do you do it? How do you trust someone with your whole heart when they could destroy it and you?"
"That's the thing about trust, it's a choice. Just like love. You've spent your whole life avoiding this kind of stuff, Sail. You had to be the coldhearted, cutthroat one in the family. Maybe it's time to take the leap."
I closed my eyes and smiled. “God, you and Teej are really the experts on this?"
"Not an expert but I learned a few things when I stopped fighting what I felt for Gray and let him love me. I was scared too, you know. After everything with Conrad, I didn't want to risk my heart again, but Gray showed up, day after day. He proved himself worthy of my trust."
Show up. Show up. Show up. That seemed to be a recurring theme…
"Yeah…"
"Has Rival shown up for you and proven himself worthy?"
The answer came without hesitation. "Yes."
"Then maybe it's time you showed up for him too. Really showed up, Sail."
I knew she was right.
"I should let you go. It's late and you clearly have some things to think about."
"Yeah," I agreed, climbing out of bed. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Sky. Love you."
“Love you too, Sail.”
After ending the call, my mind was made up and I didn't stop to overthink. I grabbed the first clothes my hands found, mismatched sweatpants, an oversized T-shirt, and slides. I didn't bother fixing my hair because it didn’t matter. I just needed to get home to my husband.
The elevator took forever to reach the lobby and when the doors finally opened, I stepped out, planning the quickest route to his house, our house . Then I stopped dead in my tracks and smiled.
Rival was still here, slumped uncomfortably in one of the leather chairs of the lobby with his head tilted back against the wall, clearly asleep. He hadn't left.
I crossed the lobby quietly, studying his face, noticing the tension in his jaw and the way his brows were pinched because of me.
Without hesitation, I climbed into his lap, straddled him in the deserted lobby, and pressed my lips to his. He shifted but his arms instinctively wrapped around me before his eyes even opened. He knew it was me.