Chapter 32
Hidden desires are calling for me, but all I can hear is an echo. I’m not prepared to face them in the daylight. I welcome them under the veil of night. I’ll drown in my dreams, and two shall be one.
I was looking at my reflection in the mirror intently. Bruises no longer covered my neck like weeds in a garden. It no longer hurt to eat, walk, get dressed or lie on a pillow.
The bruises healed, but the smothering memories were fresh as ever.
My nightmares didn’t back out. Now I wasn’t the only one being tormented. My family, Bell, everyone I know would get tortured in my nightmares.
The deep wound on my shoulder skinned over, leaving an ugly scar behind. A scar reminding me that I was robbed blind.
My life, my family and my future were stolen from me.
I wanted the unseen wounds to heal, too.
My hand slid from my neck to my chest. Memories of last night ran through me like a bullet sinking into my heart.
I saw blood rushing to my face. A gentle blush was showing.
Shame and anger consumed me.
For a second I thought of breaking the mirror to get away from the vision of this backstabbing expression.
I couldn’t risk getting any new scars, so I sighed heavily and crawled back into the warm bathtub.
Why did he refuse to sleep with me? Why did he tell me it was a mistake? What was his problem? Did he think I was beneath him ?
Maybe he simply enjoyed degrading me. He got off on the power he had over me.
He wanted to show he could refuse what was offered to him. He’d take something when he wanted it.
He’s in charge. He got to decide what happened next. He’d never share his power, be it something major or the most minute matter in the world. He didn’t like anyone else gaslighting or controlling him. He reserved that role for himself.
We haven’t seen each other for almost two weeks. The man could kill my mood even when he was nowhere near me.
Suddenly I no longer felt like taking a bath. I did want to find the safe in his office, though.
I dried myself off and put on a clean shirt and panties.
I looked out the window and didn’t see his car.
I have some time to check every corner of his office.
I didn’t waste time drying my hair. This was going to be my cop-out. If he came back and caught me sneaking about, I’d tell him the hot water’s out and I wanted to warn him about it.
Draping the towel around my neck, I headed to his office.
As I laid my hand on the door handle, my gaze fell on the door to his bedroom.
I gripped the handle, contemplating where I should go next, his office or the bedroom.
Whenever he came back, he usually went to his office. He rarely slept in his room. Maybe I could find something valuable in there.
I walked to the door to his room and put my ear against it.
Silence.
I pulled the handle and stepped in.
His tantalizing, heavy scent invaded my nostrils. The whole room smelled of him, like he was right there beside me. The thought sent a thrill of anticipation through me, his scent making me feel lightheaded .
His room was dark and spacious. Deep blue wallpaper on the walls. A gray carpet on the floor. The varnished bed frame was jet-black as well.
I wondered what his favorite color was. Was it green?
His tall bed with dark silver linens was carefully made.
The bedposts had no tester. Dark gray nightstands were placed on either side of the bed.
Everything looked minimalistic and oppressive at the same time. My vision craved for more color, more furniture. This was too barren and gloomy for me.
No wonder he’s so weird. Anyone’d go mad living in this purgatory of a room.
This bedroom suited him perfectly, though. There was an air of grim mystery to it.
I sat on the bed.
It was so tall, my legs were dangling from the side and couldn’t even touch the floor.
I jumped when I saw myself in the mirror.
A large mirror extended from floor to ceiling.
All the air escaped my lungs when I saw the painting in the reflection. It was the one, The Dark Cloud. It was hanging over his bed.
I remembered how much he wanted it. I couldn’t even imagine paintings costing that much. Roosevelt gave an arm and a leg to get it.
He sold...
All my thoughts vanished the second I heard the sound of the door handle rattling.
The handle turned down and he entered the room.
My heart was racing like crazy.
I knew it was him. My body knew when he was close-by.
I didn’t look at him. I froze .
That was the perfect time for me to tell him, why I was sitting on his bed. But fear paralyzed both my body and my voice.
I could hear the rustling of his clothes as he came closer, now standing right in front of me.
It took everything I had in me to lift my eyes and look at him.
He was clad in a gray shirt with a few buttons undone at the top, and a black suit jacket with a white handkerchief peeking out from the breast pocket.
His eyes were no longer hidden behind an icy mask. They were burning with peculiar hatred, the likes of which I’ve never seen in him before.
I could see his chest rise and fall at a rapid pace.
My anxiety reached its peak but didn’t turn into dread.
His muscles tensed, straining the freshly ironed shirt as he slowly got down, looking me in the eye.
He knelt before me and I leaned back mindlessly, resting on my trembling hands.
His wild eyes looked ready to hurt or kill me. They were as black as his soul.
His eyes entranced me, how else could I explain, why I didn’t move an inch?
His hands gently caressed my hips. His touch felt raw and sent waves of burning excitement throughout my body.
He slowly pulled my lace panties off. He let it slide freely down my legs, hanging off my right foot.
I was breathing through my mouth. My face was flushed. My body was on fire.
My pulse skyrocketed as his face came closer to my wet, throbbing core.
I opened my mouth, trying to take in more air. My chest rose and fell rapidly, but I could barely breathe. It’s like there was no more air. Only him. I was breathing him in .
With his eyes glued to mine, he ran his soft, wet tongue over my clit.
I threw my head back, letting out a hoarse, lewd moan I’d loathe myself for later. A wave of pleasure washed over my body, but didn’t engulf me just yet.
He slid his hands under my buttocks, cupping them and pulling me to the edge of the bed, closer to him.
His wet tongue twirled, pressed and entered me harder, driving me insane and delirious with lust.
I couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t breathe.
Arousal overwhelmed me with increasing force every time he touched me. The waves grew stronger. His eyes bore into me with a fierce, animalistic intensity as he devoured me like an insatiable beast.
I looked up and saw our reflection in the mirror.
I stared into my own half-lidded eyes. I saw a soft blush on my cheeks, my damp hair clinging to my face.
His black suit jacket was pulled tight, the outline of the hard muscles on his back showing through the fabric. His powerful hands squeezed and released my butt.
I felt like I was about to become one with the waves, whether I liked it or not.
I was ready to drown. Fade away. Burn away.
He pulled his tongue out of me, running it from the bottom to the very tip of the clit, and I cried out as my mind plunged into the depth of thrilling arousal and ecstasy.
I fell on my back, closing my eyes and pulling my knees up.
I sank deeper and deeper, going down fast. I felt like I was breaking down. New sensations ravaged my body, mind and soul. They set me free.
Before I had time to collect myself and grasp everything, I felt the touch of his hand. He moved it up and down, gently stroking my breasts and stomach through my cotton T-shirt .
I began to blink my eyes lazily when he suddenly grabbed me by the waist and pulled me towards him.
As soon as my feet touched the fluffy carpet, I felt how rubbery they got.
I stood there, disoriented, as he took my hands and placed them on the bedpost. He tied them up with a white silk scarf. I tried to move them, but they were tied fast.
Anxiety began to climb and drag me back to earth, reminding me that I was tied up and posed without my underwear.
He pressed his body against me and I could feel how hot he was.
His body heat seeped through his crisp shirt, passing on to me and sending a new surge of pleasure my way. Now I could clearly hear his heavy breathing.
His warm fingers caressed my cheek. He tucked a strand of hair behind my left ear and whispered,
“Your pussy is the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted in my whole damn life.”
I felt my walls tighten at the sound of his deep, intoxicating voice. I wanted to moan, but I pressed my lips to the bedpost to keep it down.
“Do you want me to go gentle or hard on you?”
“Gentle,” I whined.
“I see. Hard it is then.”
Anxiety, desire, fear and arousal became intertwined, taking away all my ability to think.
He slapped my ass and I cried out.
The stinging sensation from the slap gently merged with excitement.
The sharp pain startled me, but I wanted him to do it again.
He grabbed me by the throat and pulled me towards him, letting his erection press against my ass. The silk scarf was tied tight around my wrists, holding me in place.
“If you want more, ask for it,” he growled through gritted teeth .
I was on the verge of asking him, but my pride wouldn’t let me. I’d rather die of my feelings than of shame.
I pursed my lips.
“Zoe, your stubbornness makes me wanna drive you almost to the peak and leave you here alone, just to watch your pitiful attempts to help yourself. And to see your frustrated eyes afterwards, hungry, begging for my touch. I’m ready to drive you insane.”
You’ve been doing the same to me.
“Please,” I whispered breathlessly.
“Please, fucking what?” he asked impatiently.
I bit down my tongue to stop myself.
He took his hand away from my throat and pulled my hair.
Startled, I gasped.
“Zoe, you...”
“Spank me,” I blurted out.
I heard him chuckle.
His hand slid to my right buttock as he began to stroke it slowly.
“Come again?”
“Spank me.”
He slapped me harder and I felt like I almost came.
My hands tugged at the binds, giving me pain.
He pulled me back, my straight arms pushing at the bedpost, my lower back arched and my butt thrusting back.
He wrapped my hair around his fist and pulled so hard it sent a warm wave to my abdomen.
Excitement was bubbling over in me like boiling water. I felt the juices covering my sensitive parts, ready to drip down my thighs.
He pulled my hair and I cried out again.
“Hold tight. It’s on now.”