Chapter 15 #2
“And you thought he’d betrayed your trust and betrayed the promise you’d made to one another the night before,” Henley said. “I’m sure emotions were running high, so it was probably very easy to believe it.”
“He’s your brother,” Emilia said, her gaze wet with emotion and filled with empathy. “Family is supposed to have your back, Wren, although I’ve learned that’s not always the case. But I get why you believed him. Why wouldn’t you?”
“I should have gone to Axel. I shouldn’t have been so quick to believe Collin.
But I didn’t know my brother was capable of that kind of evil.
I mean, I guess the fact that he cheated on his fiancée with her maid of honor should have been a sign.
But I was shocked by that. And he cried to me that day and told me it had only happened once, which I later found out was another lie.
He was distraught, and I just thought he’d made a terrible mistake.
But intentionally lying just to come between me and Axel?
I just wouldn’t have thought he’d be capable of something like that.
” I blew out a labored breath. “Looking back now, I should have questioned things. I should have gone to Axel. There’s so much I would do differently now. ”
“Hindsight is such a bitch,” Lulu said as she tossed her hands in the air. “But in your defense, you hadn’t told anyone else the secret about your father’s affair, so of course you believed it.”
“And I started second-guessing myself. He hadn’t been in a serious relationship in many years, which he’d told me that night was because he’d been in love with me.
But a part of me, that insecure part that I hate to even admit lives inside me—well, that part of me found it easy to believe that he’d taken another woman home.
I feared that maybe he regretted what we’d done.
It was stupid. We were so close. I should have talked to him.
” I sniffed a few times as the regret seeped from every inch of my body.
“I thought I was the one who’d been betrayed this whole time, and it turns out, I actually betrayed Axel.
And that’s a really hard pill to swallow. ”
“Listen.” Eloise turned and looked at me, taking my hand in hers.
“Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. You went with the knowledge that you were given. I don’t have any siblings, but from seeing how the Chadwicks all are with one another, I can see how easy it would be to trust a sibling.
They trust one another immensely. So I understand why you did what you did.
You were protecting your heart. I’ve done that before, too. ”
“Thank you for saying that.” I forced a smile. “But he was angry and hurt when we finally hashed it out. I know Axel doesn’t understand how I’d believe those things about him. And I can tell he’s being cautious around me now. How can I blame him?”
“It seems like you’re getting your friendship back on track. So start with that and then see if those old feelings are still there,” Henley said, leaning her head against my shoulder. “I hate that you went through all of this alone.”
“Wait. I’ve got some questions,” Lulu said, holding her hands up when the girls started to interrupt her. “Hear me out.”
“Oh boy,” Henley groaned.
“First and foremost, was the sex even good that night? Because that matters. It matters a lot.” She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for me to answer.
I didn’t hesitate. I’d already spilled my guts, so I was done holding back.
“It was amazing. Like… life-changing,” I admitted.
Lulu narrowed her gaze. “And has anything or anyone compared since?”
I looked away, mortified that I couldn’t really answer that question, because there hadn’t been anyone.
“Wait. What’s with the awkward avoiding of eye contact? Are you telling me, without telling me, that you haven’t had sex in over two years?” she asked, eyes wide as she waited.
I just gave her the slightest nod.
“Girl, you are too young and far too hot to be closed for business. And I’ve read that if you go too long without… bumpin’ uglies, your vagina can actually close up permanently.”
A loud laugh escaped from me. “Great. I’ve lost my best friend, and now my vagina no longer works.”
Laughter bellowed around me.
“I assure you, that is not the case. You’re totally fine. Nothing is closing,” Eloise said, rolling her eyes at Lulu.
“You’re a physical therapist, not a gynecologist,” Lulu reminded her, in case she’d forgotten.
“Yeah, I promise you, you do not need to be a gynecologist to know that one’s vagina will not close up if one doesn’t have sex for a few years,” Eloise said as she shook her head with a goofy smile on her face.
“Okay. Good to know.” Lulu turned her attention back to me. “But we need to get you back on that horse. Or on that cowboy, if you know what I mean.”
“Holy shitballs! We all know what you mean, Lu!” Henley gave me an apologetic look. “She has no filter.”
“Listen, I’m not sure he’ll ever fully forgive me for leaving him the way I did. But I want our friendship back at the very least.” I shrugged. “And my life is just a mess right now, so I’m sure he’s more than aware and he’s being cautious. I get it. He has every right to be.”
“Hmmm… let’s think about this. You came back to town after not speaking for two years, and he gave you a job and an apartment on his property,” Emilia said, wriggling her brows suggestively.
“And then he followed that up by getting your horse back for you. That’s not a guy who sounds like he can’t get past what happened. ”
“He did all that before he found out my reasons for leaving. I think that hurt him more than anything, because I hadn’t trusted him enough to go to him. And Axel is a proud man. An honest man.” I swiped at the tear rolling down my cheek.
“Well, give him time to process it,” Eloise said.
“Focus on the friendship for now. It seems like you two are together all the time. He wouldn’t be hanging out with you if he didn’t forgive you.
And honestly, there’s nothing to forgive.
You are both victims in this situation. You were told a bunch of lies by a family member.
That’s not on you. You guys were dealt an unfair hand.
” She smiled at me as she squeezed my hand in hers.
“I hate an unfair hand. So how do we get his hands back on you?” Lulu pressed, and there was more laughter.
It felt good to talk about it all. To share these things I was feeling.
The anger and disappointment I felt toward my brother.
The sadness I felt about Axel.
And the fact that for the first time in my life, I had no idea what the future held for me.
And that was terrifying.