Chapter 6 #2
“Eva is serving a life sentence,” I said.
“She killed a federal agent while moving drugs across the Canadian border for her asshole boyfriend. Had no idea it was a sting operation or that she’d committed a dozen federal crimes in the presence of undercover agents.
Didn’t know how to use the gun the asshole boyfriend had given her either but she panicked and it turns out her aim is impeccable.
She wounded three other agents in the process.
It was an accident. A series of really fucking awful accidents and she will spend the rest of her life in prison while the asshole boyfriend has vanished into thin air.
” I watched this wash over Shay in waves, each worse than the one before.
“Gennie was five hundred miles away when it happened. In Philly with one of Eva’s friends.
It took a week for social services to locate her and then three more days for them to contact my mother.
By that time, Eva had already provided far too much free information to the feds without once asking for a lawyer and Gennie was already in the foster care system.
The only thing Gen remembers from that time is being hungry and watching Pirates of the Caribbean over and over but go ahead and tell me how you know what she’s been through.
Tell me about how your nannies and your townhouses on the Upper East Side and in Mayfair and your Swiss boarding schools have anything in common with her. Tell me, Shay.”
We stared at each other while dogs barked and Gennie giggled in the distance. The sun was low on the horizon and I could’ve watched the way the breeze carried Shay’s hair for hours. Longer. I wanted to tuck it behind her ear and run my thumb over her cheek. Even if it cost me everything.
“I’m sorry,” she said eventually. “I can’t possibly know everything she’s been through.
I can’t know what you’ve been through.” She gave me a look that seemed to say something but I was too preoccupied with her hair to understand it.
“But I wasn’t wrong when I said I know what it’s like when it seems as though you have no one.
Like you belong to no one, no place. That is part of the reason why I want the best for her.
No matter what happens with us, that won’t change.
The other part is that you’re my friend—or you were the last time I was in this town and hopefully will be again—and I want what’s best for you too. ” She reached down and hefted her bag.
I shot a hand out, saying, “Let me carry that to your car.”
“No, no.” She waved me off. “Carrying bags full of books is my cardio.”
I stepped back and stuck my hands in my pockets. It was all I could do to stop myself from touching her.
“We cannot solve all the giant problems,” she said, the bag settled on her shoulder.
“But we can solve lots of little ones. I’m going to teach you how to handle girl hair.
When Gennie needs hair help, come down to the house and I’ll do it for her until you learn.
You’re welcome anytime but you should know the doorbell doesn’t work and I can’t hear knocking unless I’m standing right in front of the door.
It’s always been that way. Come in, give a shout, and we’ll get to work on respectable ponytails, pigtails, and braids. ”
“You don’t have to do that.”
She nodded to herself. “That’s probably true.
I don’t have to do anything. But that’s why I’m here.
I’m taking an unscheduled gap year from my life.
Because it feels right. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but me and there doesn’t have to be an endgame unless I want one.
That’s it. I’m done with things and places and people where it’s forced and it’s wrong but I don’t figure that out until it’s too late because I was very busy forcing it to be perfect.
So, I want to help with Gennie’s hair and make sure she gets to the next grade and I’m going to put up with your moody bear vibe while I do it. ”
“What moody bear vibe?” I knew exactly which moody bear vibe she was referring to.
“The thing where you can’t decide if you’re my friend or not,” she said, sizing me up in one swoop. “Whatever that’s about isn’t something I can change but I can help your niece. Even better, I get some nice bread along the way.” She patted the bag. “Thanks for that.”
What the fuck was happening to me right now? How had I lost control of this situation? “Anytime.”
She took another step back. “Come by the house if you need hair help. Don’t bother knocking. Okay?”
I nodded, watching as she made her way to her car. She stowed the bag in the back seat and then gave me a wave. Because I couldn’t help myself, not for a single minute where this woman was involved, I called, “Let me know if you need me to marry you.”
She tipped her head to the side. “I’m not ready to think about that yet.”
“Then let me see Lollie’s will while I’m waiting.”
“No need,” she said. “It is what it is. No sense fighting.”
She opened the driver’s door and climbed into the seat. She paused as if she meant to say something but waved again. I lifted my hand in response, watching as she drove away.
This time, when I heard that reminder, it said there goes your wife.