Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
DELPHI
To say waking up in the hospital yet again was alarming would be an understatement. Especially because this time, I had no idea what I’d done to end up here.
When my eyes land on Kruger, his head lying on the bed next to our joined hands, I question if everything before this was a dream.
I assess how I feel and look for new injuries, but I’m coming up blank.
Actually, there’s a lot of blankness. My stomach churns, making me feel sick and dizzy, and the urge to roll over and go back to sleep hits me hard.
Before I can make head or tail of things, the door opens, and a doctor walks in.
“Oh, good, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”
“Confused mostly.”
“That’s to be expected. We’d like to run some more tests now you’re awake, but I suspect you may have epilepsy.”
“Epilepsy? How?”
“Like I said, we need to run more tests to give a more conclusive answer, but it’s not uncommon for it to develop after sustaining a brain injury as serious as the one you did, Miss Anders.”
I sigh. “Wonderful, something else for me to contend with. I don’t suppose you have a miraculous cure in your pocket for me, do you?”
“Unfortunately, there is no current cure for epilepsy, though modern medicine is always pushing the boundaries, so the answer might be very different in five or ten years. I will say that epilepsy can be managed with medications and learning your body’s stressors and triggers.
I know it’s scary right now, not just for you but the people around you, but knowledge is power.
Once everyone knows what to expect and what to do during a seizure, the fear will take a back seat.
You won’t need to come into the hospital following most seizures.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule.
If you have a seizure that lasts longer than five minutes or multiple seizures within a short window, such as twenty-four hours, please come get checked.
It goes without saying, come in if you sustain an additional injury during a seizure, like a bump to the head, for example, to get checked over. ”
I close my eyes and nod my head. I feel like crap, and this is not the news I was hoping to hear. But aside from feeling hungover, I’m in much better condition than when I last woke up here.
“Do you know what triggered it this time?”
“Your young man there walked in to find you seizing and noticed strobe lighting effects in a movie you were watching. If epilepsy is confirmed, that is definitely something you need to be conscious of. It’s a very common trigger.”
I blow out a shaky breath. “Okay, thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll have a nurse come prep you for testing and return to talk to you afterward when we have the answers. I know this is a shock, but it is manageable.”
“I know, it’s just a lot.”
Kruger stirs at the sound of our voices. He jolts up when he sees I’m awake. “You okay?”
“I’m okay. Gotta go for some tests though.”
He turns to the doctor. “She’s really okay?”
I sigh. I can’t be mad that he doesn’t believe me. I do have a tendency to downplay things. “It’s okay, doc, you can tell him everything you just told me. My brain’s too foggy to remember everything you said.”
I tune out as the doctor fills him in, feeling Kruger’s hand tighten around mine as he listens.
Eventually, I realize it’s gone quiet. I turn back to look at them. The doctor is gone, and Kruger is watching me with worried eyes.
“Sorry, I zoned out.”
“You’re fine.”
“You look worried, though.”
“I can’t help it. You already have enough shit to deal with.”
“I won’t lie, I’m not sure the news has actually sunk in yet.
But it will, and I’ll just have to deal with it.
What else can I do, Kruger? Let’s be honest, I got off lightly.
Most people don’t walk away from a live grenade, and those who do usually have missing limbs.
I did something really fucking reckless.
It doesn’t matter if it was for all the right reasons.
Playing hero comes with its own set of consequences. ”
He stands up and leans over me, gently wrapping his arms around me and resting his chin on my forehead. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. I’m just glad you weren’t alone when it happened.”
And that’s the kicker, isn’t it? If I’d had a seizure back at the hotel, I’d have been alone and confused when I woke up. That’s if I hadn’t smashed my head on the desk when I fell.
I don’t dwell on it. There is no point. For better or worse, I’m safer now with Kruger than I am alone. It doesn’t mean I’m going to suddenly throw caution to the wind, but there has to be a happy medium somewhere.
He pulls back, his eyes moving over my face before they lock on mine.
Slowly, so I have time to pull away if I want to, he dips his head and presses his lips to mine.
I let him, needing to feel connected to something, to someone.
He doesn’t deepen it. That isn’t what this is.
It’s just a reminder that we made it over yet another fucking obstacle.
We spend a little time just catching our breath. Dare I say it, it’s exactly what I need. Far too soon, the nurses come in, bursting us out of our bubble as I’m whisked off for a multitude of tests. By the time I’m done and the tests confirm what was suspected, my head is throbbing again.
Kruger, ever conscious of my needs lately, manages to score me some pain pills that must be stronger than the ones I got sent home with. I feel loopy when I take them.
“Alright, our ride is here. Thanks for everything, doc.”
“Of course, and if you have any problems or questions, contact your PCP. Those pamphlets I’ve given you should answer many of your questions, though. I want to see you in six months, just to see how you’re doing. And remember, no driving.”
I silently curse the man, though it’s not his fault. Not being able to drive is going to kill me. It’s hard to be independent when you’re relying on everyone else.
“I won’t forget. I wouldn’t put anyone else in danger, no matter how much it sucks.”
“It might not always be this way. Once you have things figured out and can recognize triggers, you’ll find that you’ll go longer without seizures. If you don’t have a seizure within a twelve-month period, you’ll usually be cleared to drive.”
“That’s both awesome and terrifying,” I admit.
Yay, I could drive, but there is no guarantee I won’t ever have another seizure, so do I really want to risk it?
I try to imagine waking up in this damn hospital again, only to find out I T-boned a car, killing a family on their way back from a school play. Yeah, no. I don’t think I can risk it.
“It’s not something you need to think about now,” Kruger reminds me, squeezing my shoulders.
“You’re right.”
“Well, I have rounds to do. Take care, Miss Anders.”
We watch the doctor leave before following him out. A nurse approaches us with a smile, her eyes deliberately avoiding Kruger’s.
“Need me to wheel you out?”
“I think Kruger has me covered, but thanks.”
“Alright. Good luck.”
“Well, that sounded ominous,” I grunt, making Kruger chuckle.
“Think she was worried about you leaving with me more than anything else.”
“Well then, she’s an idiot. Do you think I could get frequent flyer miles for how often I find myself in one of these things?”
When he doesn’t answer, I tip my head back and find him watching me intently.
“What?”
“You never did see me the way others did.”
I frown. “I don’t know how to respond to that. I just see Kruger. My Velcro biker and all-around pain in my ass.”
He grins, the move pulling at his scars. “I’ll take it.”
He pushes us through the doors and moves us around people until we’re waiting on the curb.
“Think this will lose me some street cred with Con?”
“The fact that you survived something else? Fuck no, that asshole already thinks you’re a superhero.”
I grin as a truck pulls up in front of us. I hear the driver’s side door open and spot movement around the front before the biker comes into view. Only this man is definitely not Con.
“Havoc,” I whisper. I’d only met the man twice, and he definitely didn’t look like this the last time I saw him. I’d heard through the grapevine that he’d gone to prison, taking over as the mother chapter’s new president when he got out.
“Delphi. Long time no see. How you feeling?”
“Up until two seconds ago, not too bad. Now I’m not so sure.”
He smirks, the whole thing softening his harsh features. “I’m not that scary.”
“Said the wolf to the wheelchair-bound lamb.”
He chuckles, reaching out his hand to help me up. I look behind me to Kruger for reassurance. He smiles and nods, so I figure, fuck it. He’s not likely to kill me outside the hospital, right?
“Nobody’s going to kill you.”
“Balls. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” I slowly slip my hand into his large one and let him help me up.
He waits until I have my balance before his eyes move from mine to Kruger’s. “I was in the area. Figured I’d swing by myself.”
“Appreciated. Not like you to be anywhere without Neveah, though.”
“She’s knee deep in her new book. Apparently, I was blinking too loudly, and the sound of my breathing was annoying her, so she kicked me out.”
I can’t help the chuckle that slips free at that. Havoc rolls his eyes, but I can tell that he’s not mad about it.
“I’ll just roll this back. You’ll be okay with Havoc for a second?” Kruger asks. I won’t lie. I want to kiss him for asking and not assuming.
“She’ll be fine,” Havoc answers for me, but Kruger doesn’t take his eyes from mine until I nod.
“Be right back.”
“Let’s get you in the truck.”
“Um…okay.”
“Everyone make you this nervous, or just me?”
“Let’s just say the last time I had a run-in with a club president, things didn’t work out well for me.”