Chapter 11 #2
His eyes flew open, and a hint of irritation flashed in them before he blinked it away.
“I totally get it. A real lady.”
Barf.
“It was great getting to know you more,” I forced out, standing up and leaving no room for him to wonder whether this conversation was over or not.
“You, too.” He squeezed my hand before letting go. “Can I have a hug?”
Even though I longed to run out of that room, I leaned into him. He slid his arms around me, and I gave him a quick pat on the back, pulling away before he could hold me in place.
“See you back in there.” I tilted my head toward the door, hanging back for an interview. Usually, I hated talking to the camera one-on-one, but I was grateful for the excuse to get away from Austin.
He shot me a wink before sliding out of the door. Emma hovered on the other side. I hadn’t even noticed her there.
She slipped in and gave me a thumbs up. “How did that one go? He’s cute, right?”
I tilted my chin forward and gave her a look like, Are you actually serious?
A laugh escaped her before she covered her mouth. “Really? No interest there? He’s very attractive.”
“Yeah, and he knows it. I don’t think there would be room to breathe in a relationship where the other person’s ego is that large.”
She frowned and leaned back to watch as Austin sauntered away. “Fair. But you didn’t even want to kiss him? I mean, with a face like that?”
I gave a jerk of my head, my nose scrunching in the process.
“No, thank you.” Objectively, I knew he was handsome.
It had been my first thought when I saw the guy.
But he had this magical power of opening his mouth and completely transforming into someone I wouldn’t let touch me with a ten-foot pole.
“Were you really planning not to kiss on the first night, or is there something more to that?” Emma pushed.
I swallowed. “I don’t know, it all feels so forced and awkward. I haven’t had a single romantic conversation with any guy that could lead to a kiss.”
Emma gnawed on the bottom of her lip before bringing her tablet up to eye level.
“What about Chris H.?”
“Which one was that?” The roster of guys played through my mind, but I couldn’t quite remember which one he was.
Emma sighed. “Okay. Joey then? From Boston?”
“Who?” I genuinely considered myself a polite person. I was good with names and faces and remembering little tidbits about people, but there was way too much pressure tonight.
Emma softened her gaze. “I get it. It’s been a long day, but it’s almost time for you to let three guys go.” She swiped around on her tablet before presenting it to me. It had pictures of all the guys as well as their names and basic facts. “Here, let’s brush up on everyone.”
I took it from her and scrolled. Seeing their faces jogged my frazzled memory.
Tripp’s picture immediately stood out, with his shy smile and deep brown eyes. The sweet guy who’d shown up last. I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to him yet. Production had just pulled me in whichever direction they wanted me to go in, choosing each guy I spoke to, in the order they chose.
“Wait, can I still talk to Tripp?”
Emma checked her watch. “We don’t have the time.” Her tone was apologetic, but my hackles rose. It seemed like they didn’t want me to talk to Tripp.
“Besides, you two had the most chemistry by far during introductions. We can’t have you picking a favorite your first night.”
There it was. They wanted me to find love but wouldn’t let me talk to the only guy in whom I had even the tiniest inkling of interest. Great.
“I want to send Austin home.” I pointed to his headshot.
“Unfortunately, we can’t do that tonight,” she said.
Something like dread curled down my throat. “Why not? I-I thought it would be my decision.”
“It completely is!” she rushed to say. “There are just a few guys we need to keep around, to stir the pot a little. You know, clashing personalities to make the show interesting. You and your dates will be at least sixty percent of the footage, but we need more storylines amongst the guys to keep people watching. You understand, right?”
“But there’s absolutely zero chance I’ll pick Austin in the end. I don’t even want to spend another second with him if that’s possible.”
She frowned. “Of course. I get it. He’s a bit full of himself. He looks good on camera, though. And if he ruffles some of the guys’ feathers, it’ll be a great moment when he finally goes home. Maybe halfway in?”
“Halfway in?” I could hardly believe what I was hearing. This show, which was supposedly about me finding love, wasn’t that at all. I couldn’t speak to the guy I did like, and the guy who was awful had to stick around.
“Surely there are other easy picks for night one?” Emma encouraged. “You said you didn’t even remember Chris H.”
I sighed and revisited the tablet.
“What about the two Chrises and Victor with the hair?” she said, referring to his very oily, very done-up, greaser-style hair.
“Emma, that’s awful!” I scolded.
She winced. “Shit, sorry, you’re right. Casting was calling him Hair.”
The terrible nickname made me wonder what they called me behind my back.
I ended up agreeing to Emma’s selections. What choice did I really have in the matter, anyway?
“Perfect. I’ll let everyone know you’re ready for the elimination ceremony. You’ll be able to get some rest after that while we do a few interviews with the departing guys. Then it’s up bright and early for the first date in the morning.”
“Bright and early,” I repeated, smiling. If I smiled enough, maybe I could trick myself into thinking I was happy with all this.
Emma pulled the tablet into her chest. “I know you mentioned Tripp, but any others you’re excited about?”
I froze. “Not really.” I felt absolutely zero emotions toward anyone. No butterflies. Not even a caterpillar squirming around in my stomach dying to get its wings.
Emma offered me a half-smile. “That’s alright, like I said, sometimes it takes a minute to feel a spark. Now, let’s go get this over with.”