Chapter Twenty-Nine #3
I release a shaky breath and massage my temples with my forefingers; the slight migraine in the back of my mind encourages me to shut the book.
I am saddened at the sudden awareness that my whole life, my whole existence, has been a lie.
The reason we couldn’t mix was because the Sunkind didn’t want to risk the Star race coming back…
Not because the God’s wouldn’t allow it.
They can’t interfere, Oriah told me herself.
The Sunkind are not good like I was raised to believe.
They are a murderous race, and I am playing happy schoolgirl in their castle.
‘You have to remember this was hundreds of years ago, Asha. As frustrating as it may be, not many who witnessed the genocide are alive to this day. Only a handful of Restorers, but they have no memory of this.’ I forgot that she can hear my thoughts.
I think to myself, “True…but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
‘I know child… I know.” I hear pain in her voice. Her people were mindlessly slaughtered, her children. ‘Don’t dwell on the past, for you are the future.’
She’s right.
The future is more important, and it hangs heavy on my shoulders.
I don’t really feel like moving. I can’t stop thinking about the savage slaughter of the Star people.
I am here in their castle of sin. Every creak I hear in the hallway makes my skin crawl, and each tiny chip and mark edged into the brick likens to the wounds and stains etched into a forgotten history.
And somehow, I am the only one who remembers.
I’ve been staring out my window, getting lost in a mellow sunset.
The minute I see the moon rise above the mossy mountains, I am going back down into the archives.
I know Ryder told me to meet him at twelve, but I would rather wait in the tunnel than stand on Sun ground a moment longer.
I have time to kill, so I ask The Soldark one more question to busy my mind.
“Soldark…. What do you know about my father, Luca Thorncroft?”
The book breathes life into its pages again, this time even faster than before. I watch as the pages fill.
When I think about my father, I feel empty, no emotion whatsoever.
My opinion of him has changed now that I know he was a martyr, a protector.
But it doesn’t change the fact that I have no real memories of him.
I can’t help wondering if he knew what he was getting into with my mother.
I know he was chosen, but did he really know the meaning of it all?
I have a new, overwhelming sense of guilt knowing that he was killed to protect me.
Another weight to add to my already heavy conscience.
The pages crackle, making me turn my focus back to them.
The book has created a profile on Luca; there is even a photograph of him in the top right corner.
He has my dimples and is smiling with a wide grin.
Luca Thorncroft
Height: 6’4
Weight: 185 lbs
Blessed by the God of Mourna - Gifts include communication with spirits and travelling between the veil. Avid dream walker.
Special skills - Knife throwing and hand-to-hand combat.
Conscripted to join the Xoro Army on graduation of Moon Sovereign as a trainee spiritual conduit.
Sentenced to death for crimes against Sun people.
Living Relatives - Brodie Thorncroft (brother) Sun
- Sarah Thorncroft (mother) Moon
-Asha Calloway (daughter) Star
Living relatives… I have had an uncle and a grandma this whole time.
It has always just been me and my ‘dad’.
A small sigh escapes my pursed lips at what my life could have been; family dinners around the table, the sound of joyous laughter echoing throughout the house, a woman to ask for advice about boys or the correct way to put a tampon in.
For the longest time, I have felt so alone.
I mean, my dad is everything to me and tried his best to make growing up special for me, but there was always something missing.
I shake the thought off and continue reading.
A pit in my stomach forms when I realise Brodie is a Sun.
That probably means he was taken away at birth.
I’m assuming the poor boy was then forced to grow up in the care system whilst the pieces of the family stayed broken.
All for nothing. The rules aren’t even real.
I stare consciously at his photograph. It’s hard to believe I am fifty percent this man.
A smile curves at my lips.
‘Knife throwing and hand-to-hand combat.’
I’m sure he would be proud to know his talents were passed on.
I still remember the shock and pride on my dad’s face when I threw my first bullseye.
He was so amazed at how quickly I picked it up.
I feel closer to Luca knowing that his blood runs through my veins, his accuracy and precision with throwing knives, a signature of him even in death.
I scrunch my eyes hard to blink away the tears that threaten to appear and close the book shut.
That’s enough of that for one day. I place the book back into its box and twist the star latch to conceal its secrets.
Into the suitcase it goes. My sheets hang low to the floor to help hide the contraband.