16
‘Ruin The Friendship’
—Taylor Swift
Scott
One second, I’m skating, I’m actually doing it, the next Lara falls on top of me. I grunt as I hit the ice, hard. I’m surprised it didn’t collapse under us. I feel the heat of her body as it’s pressed against mine. She begins trying to get off me but fails, slipping onto me again.
“Careful there, Butterfly. It’s like you're allergic to me.” I wrap my arms around her, then flip her onto her back, so now I’m the one in control. My heart is beating faster in this position.
“Hey!” She protests, but I just stare at her face, her cheeks flushed pink from the weather, a stray eyelash by her eye, I want to blow and make a wish that we will stay like this forever.
That I will be with her. I brush hair out of her face, sending a shiver down my spine from the little contact.
I want to be hers. I want this position to be normal between us.
She pushes me off her, standing up, she begins moving away from me.
I stand up too, taking a little longer than she did, but I manage to do it.
“What’s wrong?” I call out after her, she looks angry.
“You touching me is wrong.” I watch her spin around on her skates.
“I thought we were friends!” Even though I don’t want to be.
“Friends don’t look at each other like that!” Like what? How do I look at her? This is so confusing! Women are so confusing. I watch her storm off down the path after putting her boots back on. I soon follow her.
She’s already inside, drinking a cup of hot chocolate.
“Did you two have fun?” I hear Grams ask her.
“No,” Lara answers bluntly. Ouch. I sit down at the breakfast bar next to her, she gives me a look from the side, telling me not to talk to her.
“Anything I can help you with, grams?” I ask.
“Oh yes, dear.” She takes a list off the fridge and hands it to me. “I ran out of these ingredients, I can’t get a hold of your parents. Could you be a sweetie and take Joe's truck to get them?” I nod, I grab the keys out of the wooden key holder, then I’m on my way.
**
I pull up in front of a store, there’s way less snow over here than there was in the mountains.
It was about a 50-minute drive. I made it, though.
I get out of the car, the cold air immediately hitting me.
I grab the list and begin shopping. I start in the baking section because Gram needs baking powder and sugar.
I place the baking powder in the cart, then begin searching for the sugar.
By the sugar, there’s a group of girls my age, giggling and looking in my direction.
I hate groups of giggling teenagers. I walk over to the general area because I’m not going to come empty-handed with sugar.
“Excuse me,” I say politely, as the three girls make room for me. I grab the biggest bag of sugar, then set it in the shopping cart.
“Hey, what’s your name?” A black-haired girl asks me, giving me a flirtatious smile, it doesn’t affect me whatsoever. In the back of my mind, there’s a smile that makes me melt when I see it.
“I’m Scott.” I shake her hand. “Yours?” I don’t actually care what her name is.
“Ava.” She bites her lip. Ava is tall with green eyes, just like me. She’s the complete opposite of Lara. “You’re not from around here, are you?”
“I’m visiting a family friend,” I tell her.
“Do you want to come to a party with us?” I look down at my attire, my Christmas sweater. I’m not dressed for a party at all, yet I still say yes.
“Write down the address, I’ll be there tonight.” She types the address into my phone.
I’m only going to see if other girls would finally get Lara out of my head. I want to prove to myself that I can move on. Lara only sees me and her as friends, and I can’t live my life waiting for someone as a friend.
I finish shopping for grams, then drive back home.
**
When I step inside, Mr. Mae heads out to help me with the groceries, we bring them inside and set them on the counter. Grams begins unloading them, putting the food in their designated place.
“Thank you, dear.” Grams tells me, giving me a warm smile. I toss the list in the garbage.
“You're welcome,” I reply. Once I’m done, I head over to me and Lara’s room to change for the party. Lara is lying in bed reading a book, while I rummage through my duffel bag for something party-like, but still warm.
“Why are you changing?” Lara asks, it’s the first time she has spoken to me since that happened.
“I’m going to a party.” She sits up in bed.
“No, you're not. What party?” she asks.
“Some girl named Ava invited me,” I answer.
“It’s too dangerous to go alone, you don’t know directions around town or anyone here.”
“Do you want to come with me?” I watch her bite her lip for a second, then nod. I look down at her pink outfit.
“Wear jeans, and you can borrow one of my hoodies.” I toss a plain black one at her, then head to the bathroom to change. I’m so glad she isn’t mad at me anymore. I missed her.
**
We arrive at the party, right when we turn onto the street, I can already feel the music vibrating through the ground.
The houses are big. I can tell this is Lara’s first party, so I’m going to stay sober to watch her.
I’m also the designated driver. When I get out, I’m immediately greeted by Ava, who is wearing a tiny black mini dress, her black hair curled lightly.
I glance over at Lara to get her reaction when Ava grabs my hand, but it’s unreadable.
I wonder if she’s jealous, or if she doesn’t care.
Ava drags me inside the big house, tons of people everywhere, dancing, laughing, and everyone is drinking.
“You have to meet my friends, you’re going to love them!” Ava shouts over the loud music, Lara following closely behind. Ava walks me over to a blonde girl and a dark-skinned girl who are at the kitchen island. There are bottles of soda and tons of alcohol scattered across the table.
“This is Sasha and Margot.” She waves at the two girls.
“Nice to meet you,” I tell the two new faces.
“Is this your girlfriend?” Margot asks, looking at Lara. Who is wearing my sweatshirt, which is way too big for her. I watch her adjust it over her hips. I can tell she feels underdressed compared to these girls wearing tight mini dresses.
“No, she’s a friend.” A friend I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with.
“Is this the one you're staying with?” Ava asks.
“Yes, her and her family.” The music is loud; it booms through my ears. I pour myself a glass of just plain Sprite, because everyone else is drinking something.
“So Scott, you’re single?” Ava questions.
“Yup,” I answer. Ava's grin widens when I say that; she’s most definitely going to try something with me, which is something I do not want. “Do you want to dance?” I ask her.
“Of course, Scott. Or I could call you Scotty?” My chest tightens.
“No, I prefer Scott.” I lie because I prefer Scotty, but only when it comes out of a certain someone's mouth. I pull her closer to the music and the crowd of people dancing. I wrap my hands around her waist, she wraps hers around my neck.
“You’re so underdressed.” She giggles, pointing down at my outfit. My hoodie and jeans.
“I didn’t expect this party to be so fancy.”
“Welcome to Silverhill.” I chuckle softly at her words.
“I live down in Olympia.”
“That’s fun.” She plays with the strings of my hoodie, obviously tipsy, she twirls the string around her finger.
“You’re too handsome to be single… Unless you like someone?”
“I do, they just don’t like me back,” I glance over at Lara, who is talking to Sasha and Margot.
“Is it the girl you came with?” Ava’s face is in a frown now. She was hoping I’d say I liked her, but I only just met her today.
“How’d you know?” I flash her my canines, then grab Lara’s hand and walk away. She stumbles backward when I grab her, not wanting to leave yet.
“What are you doing?” Lara glares at me. “I was talking to someone.” Lara sets down a red solo cup that looks like it had alcohol in it. She doesn’t seem that drunk, maybe a little tipsy; she’s most definitely a lightweight. I only saw her finish one drink.
“I needed to get out of there,” I say. I can’t stay when there’s a girl all over me; it’s not fair to Lara because my heart belongs to her, and it always will.
“Why? It seemed like you liked Ava.” Is she jealous? It would be really cute if she were jealous.
“I don’t like Ava; she isn’t my type,” I state. I’ve never been interested in girls with dark hair, even though I’ve never really had an opinion about girls until it came to Lara.
“What’s your type?” YOU! Is what I want to scream, but I don’t want to confess my feelings out of anger, or especially while she’s drunk.
“Doesn’t matter, let's go.” I pull her towards the car.
“It does matter!” She shouts. “Do you like me, Scotty Delgado?”
Where is this coming from? I don’t want to answer truthfully because I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I like what we have right now. Our relationship has progressed so much in the last few weeks, and I don’t want to restart.
I don’t answer for a few moments.
I can feel the tension between us.
“Yes. As a friend.” Her face falls; it’s like she wants me to like her, but like is an understatement.
A huge understatement, I need her, I crave her.
I miss her every second she’s away. I want to crash my lips against her mouth every waning second.
She isn’t just someone I like anymore. She’s become part of every future I imagine.
Every good thing in my life somehow has her standing beside me.
“Just as a friend?” ‘Maybe a lot less.’ The words repeat in my head over and over like a broken record.
“Yes, dammit, Lara. Get in the truck.” I point to the car. Why is she doing this right now? She’s obviously tipsy; she’s never been drunk before (from what I know). She listens to what I say and climbs into the passenger seat. The car is an old red truck; there’s no middle console.
“Can we talk about this?” Lara asks me, her bottom lip trembling like she’s going to cry. I begin driving away from town.
“There’s nothing to talk about!” I shout, my voice coming off meaner than I anticipated. I pull onto the beginning of the mountain just as the car stops.
“Fuck!” I hit the horn, but it doesn’t go off.
“What happened?” The heat is already draining from the car, leaving us cold. I look over at Lara, she’s hugging herself.
“The battery is dead, and we are too far away from town to walk to get help.” I hold my phone up, trying to get a signal, but there is none. It’s really late outside. “There’s no signal!” I shout a handful of curse words. I begin pushing the car to the side of the road so I’m not in anybody's way.
“Do you need help?” Lara calls out, cracking the door open so I can hear her.
“Just get out for a minute.” She does as I say and stands by the door. I push the car to the side, then motion for her to get back in. I look in the back seat to see if there is a battery or anything, but all there is is an empty box, a bag of chips, and a blanket.
“We have to wait until morning for someone to pass by.”
I watch Lara shiver, so I grab the blanket and pull it over her.
I get back in the car because if the doors are shut, some heat should stay in.
I hug myself, trying to conserve body heat.
I watch Lara unbuckle then slide closer to me, pulling the blanket on top of us.
I pull the lever to make the seat lean back.
“If we cuddle, we will be warm.” I wrap my arms around her body, pulling her close to me. She fits perfectly against me. I hold her close to my body. I hear her breathing steadily; she’s asleep.
5 years later
‘Funeral’
— Phoebe Bridgers
Scott
I just finished packing up my stuff, I drop my suitcase on my bed when I spot pictures of Lara and me lying on my side table, no longer placed in the neat stack I left them.
Oh shit, she found them. What was I thinking, leaving her here? Of course, she snooped.
I pick up the pictures and toss them in the garbage. Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door, and I open it up to see Maggie.
“Hey,” I say, leaning against the door frame, waiting for her to state the reason she is here.
“Hey.” She pushes past me to walk inside, immediately charging towards the refrigerator, grabbing a random yogurt.
“What’s up?” I ask, shutting the door behind me, walking over to the island.
“I met Lara earlier. What’s going on between you two?” Maggie asks, taking a huge bite of the Greek yogurt like she’s been starving for days.
“We are just friends. Nothing else.”
Maggie raises an eyebrow and smiles. “Oh, really?”
“I swear!” I shake my head, laughing. I wish we were more than friends; she can see that on my face. “She found pictures I kept of us. When she was snooping around.”
“How are you going to explain that?”
“I’m hoping she won’t bring it up.” I also hope she hasn’t told anyone.
My phone dings in my pocket. Ashton had texted me four times.
Ashton: CONFESS ALREADY!!!
Ashton: The suspense is KILLING me.
Ashton: You are meant to be.
Ashton: (P.S. break her heart again your dead to me)
So from that, I’m guessing she told him.
I have no clue how to respond, and I need to leave for the airport in 20 minutes, so I don’t answer, just leave him on read and turn off my phone. I can’t date Lara, it’s not right, especially after everything that’s happened.
“I need to head to the airport now.” She nods, puts the rest of the yogurt in the fridge, and her dirty spoon in the sink.
“I’ll help bring your stuff to the cab.”
Lara
I wake up to my phone ringing, over and over again.
I groan, flipping over to my side, grabbing my phone from my nightstand. I swipe to answer it, holding my phone to my ear, not bothering to check the caller ID.
“Who is it?” I say, my voice is still groggy.
“I need you to fly to Washington.” I hear Aurora’s voice over the phone. She sounds panicked.
“Why?” I ask, immediately sitting up; her tone doesn’t sound okay. I have a huge pit in my stomach.
“Danny got in a crash,” she chokes out, then I hear her burst out into tears over the phone.
“Oh, my god. Is he okay?” I ask, but I don’t get an answer. “Aurora!” I shout over the line. She sucks in a deep breath.
“He’s stable.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? Calm down, Lara.
I need to call Scott, this is his best friend, this is my best friend. What type of crash was it? How badly is he hurt? I have so many questions.
“I’m booking a flight.”