15
‘From The Start’
—Laufey
Scott
I wake up to the sound of the shower running. There’s a bathroom connected to our room. I hear the soft hum of Lara’s voice. She is singing. The sound of her voice singing melodies fills my heart with warmth. Anything she says does. A few moments later, she emerges from the bathroom.
“The grandma sweater? Really?” I laugh, even though I think she looks adorable wearing these types of clothes, it makes her unique.
“It’s cute!” she shouts at me, like an angry toddler. I walk out of the room to the smell of pancakes. Grams is in the kitchen with an apron that has cupcakes on it. This woman does not age.
“I like your apron,” I say, sitting down next to Lara at the breakfast bar, on these red cushioned chairs, it’s like the only pop of color in the whole house, the rest is brown and white.
“Thank you, Scott,” Grams says, giving me a warm smile. She places a plate of pancakes in front of Lara and me, setting syrup between us. I don’t like syrup, so I start eating plain pancakes.
“Ew, Scotty, you seriously aren’t going to add anything?” Lara gives me a disapproving look.
“I don’t like syrup.” I shrug my shoulders.
“Butter? Peanut butter? Nutella?” She shakes her head. “I can’t believe you.”
“It’s made to eat, Lara.” I take another big bite, making my chewing noises as obnoxious as possible.
“Scotty, shhhh.”
“You two are always bickering, huh?” An older man wearing a sports cap walks into the house, snow dusting the brim of his hat.
“Grandpa!” Lara stands up, running to hug him.
“Nice to see you, kiddo.” He ruffles her hair, then walks over to me. He extends his hand for a handshake. I firmly shake it back. He’s wearing a red flannel with a white beard. He gives off average grandpa vibes.
“Nice to see you again, Scott.” I nod.
“Nice to see you again, too, Mr. Mae.” He turns back to Lara, who is sitting down, smothering her pancakes in syrup. She takes a huge bite.
“You two want to go down to the lake, try ice skating?” I remember Lara telling me the lake is always frozen enough to go ice skating in the mountains.
“Yes!” Lara mumbles with a mouthful of pancake.
I chuckle softly.
“Okay, kiddo, finish eating, get dressed, and we will go.” He ruffles her hair one last time before disappearing down the hall.
“Where are our parents?”
“The shops in town.” Grams answers. “They wanted fresh air.”
Lara
I get dressed in leggings and a big fuzzy sweater. I add white earmuffs and a pink-and-white scarf. I slide on my gloves and step outside the bathroom to see Scott in a Christmas sweater.
The outfit he’s wearing is lethal; my jaw drops. A man wearing a sweater is my weakness. It’s green with white reindeer imprinted on it. He looks amazing.
“Cat got your tongue?” he teases, making me snap out of my daze.
“Shut it, Scotty.” I snap at him, grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I check my notifications to see if Emma or Isaac texted, but neither did. I wouldn’t be able to answer anyway; the internet is horrible out here. I turn around, watching Scotty pull on his gloves.
“Why did you change again?” Scotty asks.
“I didn’t want to wear jeans ice skating, what if I fall?” Scotty shrugs. I grab two pairs of skates from the closet; my grandpa's old ones should fit him.
**
We went on the little trail to the lake; my grandpa had already tested the ice, so it won’t break.
Some areas may crack, so we need to avoid them.
He put tape on the light ice. I set my bag down, which has our skates in it, on the ground next to the bench my grandpa built a while ago.
I have to wipe the snow off the bench before I can sit down.
Scotty follows, we pull our skates on in silence.
I glide onto the ice gracefully, doing a little spin. Scotty awkwardly waddles over to the ice like a puppy wearing high heels. As soon as he touches the ice, he lands on his butt.
“Ouch!” I giggle. I move over to him, offering him a hand to help him up. He takes it, using his body strength to pull himself right onto his feet. He holds onto my arm still, trying to steady himself. “Bad time to say I’ve never skated?”
“It’s okay, I'll teach you.” I grab his hand in mine, then skate a few inches. He wobbles like a toddler learning how to walk. “Just push from one foot to the other. It’s pretty easy.”
I am a horrible teacher. Once we get into a rhythm, he’s matching my pace and my movements, I let go of his hand. He doesn’t realize it at first, he keeps going. Once he sees that I’m not holding on, he lands on the ground, a thin layer of frost cracks beneath us.
“You’re horrible. Maybe we should’ve gone to a public skating rink for you to practice.” I help him back up, but this time he refuses my hand.
“I’m going to do it.” He stands up and begins moving along the ice. He’s still wobbly, but he’s ice skating. I join in next to him.
“I’m doing it!” He cheers, I grin at him.
“Yes, you are!” I say right as I crash into him, I land on top of him, he is on his back. I feel every curve of his body against mine, our bodies fitting together like a puzzle piece. I try to pull myself off, but I slip back into his arms.
“Careful there, Butterfly. It’s like you're allergic to me.” He wraps his arms around me. He flips us over, so now I’m the one under him.
“Hey!” My words are cut off when he begins moving the hair out of my face; his gloved hands are gentle, soft against my skin. \I can’t even feel the ice because I’m numb under his gaze.
His eyes flick to my lips.
Mine flick to his.
For one second, I think he’s going to kiss me.
The beautiful green eyes, the curly hair, everything that can make a girl weak in the knees.
Not me though. I push him off me, standing up, I dust myself off. I watch him struggle to get himself up until he eventually does it. He watches me in silence as I move back towards our stuff.
“What’s wrong?” he calls out after me. I spin around because what does he mean, “What’s wrong”? Everything's wrong. He can’t just look at me like that, act like we're friends.
“You touching me is wrong,” I argue.
“I thought we were friends!”
“Friends don’t look at each other like that,” I say, taking off my skates, putting back on my boots then begin walking down the trail. I left him speechless, unknowing of what to say. Good.
5 years later
‘Supercut’
— Lorde
Lara
It’s December 1st, technically the first day of winter, but that isn’t declared until the 21st. Christmas is right around the corner, so the streets are busier than usual, and Christmas decorations line the streets.
Scott and I are still friends; close friends. Every time he’s not at practice or a game, we are together.
I hate winter, I hate the snow, I hate ice skating, I hate the cold. I hate everything about it. Winter is when we fell in love; I despise it.
“Lara!” I hear the doorbell ring repeatedly, Aurora’s voice from outside the door. We haven’t seen each other in over a week; life just got busy.
I immediately answer the door, seeing her mascara smudged down her face; she looks like she’s been crying.
“What happened?” I ask.
She pushes past me, walking inside to my apartment, sitting down on the couch, her hands in her hair.
“My ex found me.” I gasp. Her abusive ex, she’s been hiding from for years. He’s crazy about her, literally. Malcolm and her were together in high school as the golden couple.
“Oh, Rory.” I sit down next to her, wrapping my arm around her. “I’m so sorry.”
Aurora begins crying.
“I just don’t know what to do,” Aurora says. The pain in her voice is like a dagger in my heart. She doesn’t like talking about what happened with Malcom. I understand completely, so I never push. “He was my first love, you know?”
“I know,” I say, thinking about Scott in my words.
“I couldn’t leave because I was scared. He felt safe even though he wasn’t.” She trembles.
“You were only a kid.”
“He cheated on me, too.” She says in almost a whisper.
I don’t know what to say because I can’t imagine the person I love cheating on me.
“Did he hurt you when you saw him?” I ask.
“No. I saw him watching me while I was walking down the street. I don’t think he knows where I live, but he could find out.”
“Do you need to stay here? You're always welcome.”
“No, actually, I was going to say goodbye for a while. I’m moving in with Danny for a bit.” I freeze.
“You’ve been talking to Danny? You’re moving in with him?!”
“We’ve been talking since we met. It’s safer there than it is here. I can’t be in New York right now.”
“I understand.” I pause and take a deep breath. “Promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“Do not hurt Danny, I swear, Aurora. I’ve known him since high school; he’s one of my best friends, and so are you. I know he won’t hurt you, but I can’t be sure about you because you have a known reputation for hurting people.” I stare at her intently just so she knows I’m serious. “You promise?”
“I promise.” I smile, getting rid of the seriousness in my expression.
“I’m going to miss you!” I pull her into a tight hug.
She sniffles. “I’m going to miss you way more.”
Scott
I spit out my drink. “She’s moving in with Danny?!” I wipe my mouth off. “How did you approve this? I thought you hated the idea of them together.”
“She promised,” Lara says, shrugging. “I believe her; she seems to really like him.”
“Well, obviously if they're living together.” She glares at me. I hold up my hands in defense. “It’s sarcasm!”
“Fine, I won’t kill you this one time.” I laugh at her jokes; she could never actually hurt me. Sometimes I think she still loves me. Maybe I’m imagining it. Friends are safer than being enemies forever. “These burgers are really good,” she says, taking a bite out of my homemade burgers.
“Well, it’s practically tradition that we eat burgers together.” Seriously, every time we are hungry, it’s always burgers.
“Well, burgers are the best option.” She smiles at me, wiping the sauce off the corner of her lips with her tongue.
“What are you doing Christmas Eve?”
She finishes chewing before she clears her throat and answers. “Nothing.”
“Not even going home?”
“No, not this year,” she says gloomily. It makes me wonder why she isn’t. She hasn’t mentioned anything about her family recently.
“I’m not doing anything on Christmas Eve, but I have a game on Christmas. Do you want to hang out together? I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but since you're not doing anything…” I sound so awkward. It’s only asking her to hang out for Christmas. It’s not that big of a deal.
“Of course I will.”
“Okay,” he says, “I need to get going. I have practice and then a game tomorrow, so I leave for the airport tonight.”
I tell her, clearing my food remains into the garbage, then putting my plate in the sink.
I walk over to the door, grab my basketball bag, slip on my workout shoes, then kiss her on the forehead. Then I’m out of the door.
Lara
Oh my fuck. Did he just kiss me on the fucking forehead?
Oh my god, I’ve never cussed this much in my head.
My hand immediately flew up to my forehead, holding it there while the kiss lingers.
It feels like it’s simmering into my skin.
It’s just a friendly gesture. Why does it feel so intimate?
I’m still in his apartment too; he didn’t even tell me to get out.
I finish my food in silence. I should probably go, but I want to stay.
I walk into the kitchen, putting my plate in the sink before wandering around the penthouse.
I walk into what seems like his bedroom, I look around the messy room, then pause when I see what’s hanging on the wall, in a display. The record I bought him years ago. That’s not a casual friendship activity.
I look at the bedside table to find pictures of us when we were together. Holy hell. What a coincidence that I find this in December? The month everything was “casual” between us before we started dating. I sift through the three photos, letting the memories flood back like a tidal wave.
A single tear trails down my cheek.
For the first time, I have proof.
Proof I wasn’t the only one grieving those five years.
I immediately FaceTime Ashton.
“Yellow.” He says, pulling his phone to his face.
“Ashton, you won’t fucking believe this.” I flip the camera around to show him the photos in my hand.
“Photos of you and Scott?” he asks, confused.
“Yes, that I found in his bedroom.” I hear Ashton audibly gasp, then I watch the phone fall out of his hands before he scrambles to pick it up.
“What the actual fuck? Oh my god, I knew he still liked you.” I point the camera at the record on the wall. “And he still wants to be just friends?!” Ashton shouts over the phone.
“I know it’s crazy, right? I’m just one word away from being his girlfriend, and he chooses friends, while still having the memories of us.”
“I mean, you kept the necklace from 5 years ago, too,” Ashton says. I flip the camera back around to my face.
“I’m a girl! Girls can’t move on, guys can.”
“Lara…have you met Scott?” I see Ashton shrug.
“Yes, but I didn’t know he’d keep this!” I am totally overreacting.
“Did you know Aurora is living with Danny?” I ask.
Ashton nods. “Most unexpected couple EVER.”
“Right? Well, love you. Got to go.” I tell him, then hang up. I suddenly hear a knock at the door. I freeze, then slowly walk over, peering outside the hole. A girl with blue hair stands outside.
I cautiously open the door for her, her eyes light up in surprise when I answer.
“Oh wow, hi,” she says, totally caught off guard. “Your Lara Mae.”
“Yeah, you are…?” I trail off, waiting for her to finish my sentence.
She holds her hand out. “I’m Maggie, huge fan by the way.” I shake her hand. So this is the infamous Maggie Scott was talking about.
“Oh, Scott told me about you.” I look down at her outfit, she’s wearing some baggy jeans and a black hoodie. “What are you doing here?” I ask her.
“I just came by to ask him to hang out, but I guess he’s not home.” She laughs awkwardly, fidgeting with her fingers. I don’t understand why she looks so nervous in my presence.
“You just missed him; he went to practice,” I explain.
“So…are you two dating yet?”
“No, we are just friends?” I answer like it’s a question.
“Mhm… Sure…” she mumbles under her breath. “Scott really needs to make up his mind.”
“How so?” Her eyes bounce back up to mine as I speak.
“Oh, I did not mean to say that out loud. I probably sound like I’m overstepping.”
“It’s okay,” I say.
“I’ll see you later?”
“Sure.”
We both wave goodbye as she wanders off.