7. Lilith
Chapter seven
Lilith
I ’m startled out of my sleep by a loud knocking on my door. Looking over to my phone I read the time as a little past 4AM. Elijah’s gone. Which shouldn’t hurt, I’m the one who repeatedly claimed I didn’t want or expect anything more, but it still leaves an ache in my heart. One I hope God will help me heal.
The banging starts up again and I quickly throw on an oversized sweater and shorts as I rush to see what’s going on.
“Can I help-” I freeze as I open the door to a shorter woman whose anger is pouring out of her as if it has nowhere else to go. Even now Leah can steal all the oxygen out of a room. With her dark brown skin gleaming in the moonlight she looks almost god-like. “Leah!” I respond, finally wrapping my head around who she is, “What are you doing here?”
“You know Jacob didn’t do it, right? Please tell me you know he didn’t.” Her face darkens as she looks at me. Jacob, Leah’s husband and my brother's best friend and driver. All the emotions that had disappeared through the night come racing back with a vengeance. I open the door the rest of the way and allow Leah to come in.
After settling her in, with a cup of peppermint tea, I finally allow some of the tension to leave my shoulders. “Leah, I really don’t know what to think. I know Jacob hasn’t
done drugs in the past, but who’s to say he didn’t start? And his faith has wavered in the church lately.” My eyes cast to the ground, feeling her disappointment flow over me. I swing my feet back and forth as they hover over the gray carpet of my living room. Has that stain always been there? I think to myself trying to distract myself to keep from looking up.
“He wouldn’t.” Her harsh tone demands all of my attention, but it takes all of the mental strength I have left to look back up to her. Leah’s voice softens as she slowly rubs her belly, “He wouldn’t do that to us.”
A lump gets caught in my throat as I try to respond. All I can do is just stare at her with my mouth tightly shut. Jacob always wanted a family. He was Uncle J to John’s kids and had basically become their second father. His entire goal in life was to be a better dad to his children than what his father was. And with that small gesture to the life growing in her womb, Leah has removed any doubt I had.
“Oh my gosh,” I whisper before I even realize the words are leaving my mouth. Looking between her stomach and her gaze I question, “How far along?”
“Eleven weeks. We’ve known about the baby for a while. We were going to announce it to everyone next month.”
“Oh my gosh,” I whisper again, sounding like a broken record player. Guilt drenches me. I’ve known Jacob for my entire life, how could I think so little of him?
We sit there together, letting the quiet of the night fall over us. Both of our thoughts racing around trying to get ahead of the next. There’s too much tension to speak, and too much guilt to move. What’s supposed to happen now? If it
wasn’t Jacob, then who? Who was responsible for shredding my world within a twenty four hour time span?
As the sunrise starts to peek through the apartment windows, I stare into my empty coffee mug. “Jacob called me that night,” Leah’s voice splinters through the silence. “Growing our little one has me in bed by ten so I was asleep. But he left me a voicemail. The police didn’t seem to care. Of course they wouldn’t when a perfect story to keep this nice and clean rolled out right in front of them. ‘ Young man with a drug problem kills his rich boss during a robbery gone wrong.’
I nod slowly, still staring into the opening of my cup, half wishing it could swallow me whole. “And you know what that voicemail said?” I track my eyes up to hers, where she’s pulling her phone out and hitting play on the message.
“Hey my sweet girl,” Jacob’s warmth radiates over the phone, “I’m sure you and our growing angel are fast asleep, but John let me off early tonight. He brought a business partner back to Colorado with him. I’m headed home baby. I love you.”
As the phone lets out a beep at the end of the message silence takes over the room again. The warm and cozy feeling of Jacob's love drains from the space. All that’s left is two women staring face to face with each other. Passing their grief back and forth like a vicious game of hot potato.