8. Elijah
Chapter eight
Elijah
“ J oe! Where the fuck is Lilith?” I bark out while cleaning up the triage room in the clinic. We’ve been unusually busy, to a point I almost thought about keeping her around just to keep us from drowning. That is, if she would even show up for work. It’s almost been a week since I last saw her at her apartment.
“Her brother died , Elijah,” Mary’s horrified tone reminds me that Joe and I aren’t the only ones here. “How about instead of taking your anger out on that paper towel, you do what God would want of his children and go check on her.” My brows arch together in confusion until I look down and see the shredded remains of my cleaning supplies spread across the med cart like a crime scene. Hurriedly, I scoop the evidence up and dump it into a bin.
For the rest of the day I keep quiet, realizing I had let my little mask of normal human decency slip. Of course Lilith isn’t here, her brother just died– correction– her brother was just murdered. At the hands of my uncle’s little pet , but as far as everyone else knows it was just some random bloke. I can’t let that mask slip again.
I stretch out my arms, letting my tension dance its way through my lengthened limbs and out of my fingertips. Mary’s idea isn’t half bad. Going to see Lilith would help me keep my front up with her and the rest of my employees. At least that's the reason I’m telling myself to go see her. This surely has nothing to do with how I almost stayed the night. How I let my hands run through her hair like it was a stream of water, even long after she fell asleep. How I’m frustrated that she hasn't reached out again, or won't even show up to work where I could at least see her.
I shake my head, as if my train of thought is an etch-a-sketch I can erase. I don’t have time to indulge in this joke of a fantasy, but I do need to go see Lilith. It’s time to let her go, with a new inpatient facility opening up here in Boulder, I can't be distracted.
Twenty minutes later I’m standing out front of her building. It’s much more calm this time of day. No loud music, no random guys throwing up into the grass, just a few college kids studying outside in the grass. I walk past them almost on autopilot as I head for her door.
I drum my knuckles on the old wood until the door slowly creaks open. Lilith looks up at me through the crack. Dark circles have formed under her eyes and her hair looks like a deserted bird's nest.
“Lilith, what the fuck-” I’m cut off by her grabbing my arm and digging her nails into my skin. The door opens a little further and her frail body flings into mine as she slumps into my hold. I grab onto her with desperation, immediately wanting to save her from whatever terror is going on. “Shhh, shhh,” I try to console her, but all my attempts are drowned out by her sobs. I’ve never seen Lilith break down like this, minus our little fling before I left. We never really got to know each other. All I know is that she loves God, does her job efficiently, and is a great fuck. None of that information seems like it's going to help me right now.
After a few minutes of stroking her back, her erratic breathing has returned to normal and she looks up at me, her gray eyes still glazed over from the tears. I turn her around with my hand on the small of her back as I usher us into her apartment.
All the lights are off with the exception of a small lamp sitting on one of her end tables. Papers are scattered around her living room floor, little strips of masking tape connecting them together. With widened eyes, I turn my attention back over to Lilith, who’s staring into her hands while she fidgets with her fingers. “I’m not insane,” she whispers, “You can stop looking at me like I’m crazy.”
I turn my attention back to the paper covering her apartment, realizing these belong to John. Titles such as “The Gardens Darker Side” and “Interview with Apollyon’s Right Hand Man” jump out at me, as though they know they hold my secret and are taunting me with the truth. “Lilith,” I use caution as I talk, making sure not to scare what's left of the woman behind me. “What uh, what is this?” I gesture towards her makeshift evidence board.
She steps towards me with a piece of paper in hand and venom laced through her words, “Jacob didn’t kill my
brother. Someone from this God forsaken facility did.” She thrusts forward a picture of Apollyon and a few nurses standing in front of the original clinic.
My heart drops into my stomach. My pretty baby has somehow walked her way right into the spider’s web. I outstretch my hand for her to take, and when she does I lead her over to the couch and sit her down. “Do you mind if I open the curtains?” I ask. She gestures to me with her hand that I’m okay to do so. As I walk over to her window my heartbeat floods into my ears. How did she figure this out? My uncle has always nicely lined the pockets of those who do his dirty work, just so things like this don't happen.
“Okay pretty baby,” I say lightly as I sit down next to her, “I’m going to need you to explain what’s going on.” Her eyes light up as she looks over at me. She goes on about Jacob, Leah, and their unborn child. By the end of her rant the pools in her eyes have become rivers streaming down her pale cheeks. Beyond the anger I feel over my uncle fucking this up, there's an ache in my heart for the girl in front of me. Something I’m not used to feeling for others, and the pain reminds me why I’m here. This pathetic crush I have on her is nothing more than child's play, and it's going to get in my way.
Lilith looks up at me with hope, like I'm going to help her. Instead I shove the ache down and straighten my back. “Lilith this is why I came over here. You’re straying from God, and filling your head with smoke from the devil. I’m sure your grief has taken its toll but that is no reason to stray away from the lightened path. You’re no longer welcome at
the clinic.”
I stand up, prying her hands off me as she pleads for me to stay, to just talk to her, to let her apologize for her sin. And although my heart is screaming for me to stay, I straighten my jacket and walk out the door.