Chapter 31 Aurora
Aurora
Packing shouldn’t take me this long. I don’t have many things.
It’s the fact that I have to keep stopping to wipe my eyes that’s dragging out the process.
Everything in this room smells of him. It’s torturing me.
Reminding me of what almost was. But I’m being ridiculous.
It was never going to end well between Rafael and me.
We’re too different. And he’s so closed off.
I barely know the man beneath the surface, despite how physically intimate we’ve been together.
This is for the best. He can buy companies for his next girlfriend.
Maybe she’ll be into that. Girlfriend. The word brings a lump to my throat.
I wasn’t his girlfriend, I was . . . I don’t know what I was to him.
A mistake? A fleeting itch to scratch? A mere sexual attraction for a woman he clearly held so much disdain for until recently?
An attraction even he couldn’t understand?
I huff as I pull the lid of my suitcase down and reach for the zip.
‘Don’t leave.’
I whip my gaze up and it collides with rich, molten bronze, glittering with emotion. Rafael stands in the doorway to his bedroom, looking at me like he’s watching the end of the world happening right in front of him.
‘Please.’ The single word is hoarse, exhaled with a ragged breath like he ran here.
I turn back to my suitcase. ‘I have to. We were never meant to happen.’
Rafael runs his hand around the back of his neck, hovering in the doorway like he’s waiting for permission to enter his own bedroom. ‘I’m sorry, Aurora. I’m not good at this.’
‘Good at what?’
‘Dating.’
‘We’re not dating,’ I fire back, regretting it as Rafael’s eyes pinch.
‘Spending time together, then. And talking about what we both want. I’m not good at it. At navigating these . . . feelings.’ He screws his face up. ‘Arguing with my . . .’ He exhales slowly, leaving me wondering what word he was going to use to describe what I am to him.
The bratty version of myself that he called out earlier in his car surfaces, reacting before I can rein it in.
‘You’ve spent time with plenty of women. I’m sure you can conjure up some advice from your memory. Didn’t you argue with Seraphina?’
I fiddle with my suitcase zip. Now who sounds like the jealous and insecure one?
‘Not like this,’ Rafael says.
‘Dove said she threw a drink in your face,’ I continue, like I’m picking a scab that should be left well alone.
‘And?’
‘And that sounds like a big fight.’
‘I didn’t think of it as a fight. More an overdue end to something I should have stepped away from a long time ago,’ he says, his voice all deep and delicious and doing things to my core that it shouldn’t be.
I shrug. ‘Yet here you are, home from work in the middle of the afternoon, thinking about our fight.’
A glimmer of something passes over Rafael’s face. Hope?
‘Yes, I am here. I’ve never had a proper fight with a woman before, because I haven’t ever cared enough to argue back. But not only am I here, Aurora, I’m prepared to bloody beg on my knees if I have to in order to convince you to stay.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you.’
No hesitation. Just spoken like it’s a fact.
‘What?’
He still hasn’t entered the room. Still hasn’t crossed the threshold. Yet he’s dropped that bomb, delivered so matter-of-factly, like it was inevitable and should have been obvious to me.
He inhales through his nose, eyes locked on mine. ‘I think I’ve already fallen, actually. I’m right down at the bottom of the bloody cliff. Looking up at the most incredible woman I’ve ever met in my life and hoping she doesn’t finish zipping up her suitcase.’
I drop the zip I’m fiddling with like it’s on fire.
‘We’ve only slept together three times,’ I whisper.
His gaze intensifies, making me shiver. ‘And you’ve consumed every part of me – mind, body, and soul – for over three months.’
‘You didn’t like me. I was just material for your wank bank,’ I say, like saying it out loud makes it true. Makes it all I am to him. Because the idea that he actually loves me . . . It makes my mind race at a million miles per minute.
What would being loved by Rafael Fairfax be like?
What would being held in his arms every night like I’m safe be like?
What would being kissed like I’m precious be like?
What would being looked at and listened to with amused molten bronze irises as I regale him with the virtues of various crisp flavours be like?
Being adored enough that he fills his cupboards with them . . .
And what would being loved so much that he’s irrational and jealous because he thinks an ex-boyfriend hurt me be like?
Rafael holds my eyes. He doesn’t need to correct me, because the way I’m looking back at him – lips parted, pulse racing with desire – it’s obvious that I know I’m so much more than that to him. And I always have been.
But he does anyway, making light burst from my core like a cascade of glowing stars.
‘You’ve never been just anything, Beauty. You’ve always been everything to me. Even long before I realised it. And I’m not asking you to love me back, far from it. I’m just asking you to stay.’
We stare at one another. The air thick with need. But he won’t move until I invite him to. He won’t come to me without my instruction. I can see it in the way his eyes are darkened and intent on mine. He needs to know if I want this. He’s waiting for me to make the next move.
I lick my lips, the need strong to still prove to him, and myself, that I have some control here.
That Rafael Fairfax telling me he’s in love with me doesn’t mean I lose my own voice.
That I don’t have to bend to his every whim, the way people at his workplace do.
If whatever this is between us is going to work, then he needs to understand that he can’t throw his money around and get his way whenever he wants it. Not with me.
‘I’m not sure you deserve to walk in here yet,’ I say, allowing my eyes to rake over him from head to toe.
He arches a brow, his question coming out in an inviting growl. ‘Then how do you suggest I come to you?’
A vision of something pushes to the front of my mind. Of him. Handing all control over to me. Trusting me to take charge and give us what we both need. If he wants us to work, then he needs to meet me halfway.
‘On your knees,’ I reply. ‘Crawling.’
His eyes narrow and for one beat of my thundering heart I expect him to laugh. To tell me not to be so bloody stupid.
But he jerks his chin, gesturing to me. ‘Stand up.’
Heat zaps all around my body, before it concentrates between my thighs, pulsing in my clit like a deep bass as I rise.
Holding my eyes he slowly removes his jacket and tie, placing both on the floor. Then his hands reach for the buttons on his waistcoat.
‘Leave that on,’ I breathe. ‘I like it.’
His eyes blaze and a muscle twitches in his cheek. ‘Very well.’
Then he lowers to his knees.
My breath echoes in my ears as he crawls across the carpet, painstakingly slowly, drawing it out like he wants me to remember every second.
The broad muscles in his shoulders roll and strain beneath the starched white cotton of his shirt.
The closer he gets, the more intense the scent of his cologne, mixed with hot male skin, grows.
I sink my teeth into my lower lip as he reaches my feet and looks up at me from beneath thick, dark brows.
‘Aur—’
I silence him, lifting one finger in the air in front of his face like he’s a dog I’m training. I don’t know who this woman is who’s taken over my body, but I’m loving watching what she does. And judging from the glittering heat in Rafael’s eyes, so does he.
‘Tell me what you want to do to me,’ I breathe.
‘Taste you,’ he answers, not needing to consider it for a second. ‘Wear you all over my face for the rest of the day.’
My breath hitches as he bows and presses a soft kiss to the top of my bare foot.
‘Let me, Beauty,’ he begs, tracing slow kisses up the inside of my calf until he gets to the sensitive skin behind my knee. ‘Please don’t deny me your taste. I can’t survive without it.’
As he kisses the delicate skin, his eyes pinned on mine, my eyelashes flutter and a soft moan falls from my lips.
He kisses higher, rising to his knees and inching my skirt up my thighs with the care and precision a bomb disposal expert would handle something that’s in danger of detonating.
‘Tell me I can,’ he utters, his voice dripping with desperation.
His breath is warm against my panties as he gently brushes his lips over the sheer fabric. It’s so thin it might as well not be there. I can feel every soft pass of his mouth over me. It’s the sweetest torture.
I let out a breathy whimper. ‘Yes.’
‘Thank you,’ he groans, eyes hooding as he kisses me through the fabric. ‘Soaking wet,’ he murmurs, licking me in one slow, controlled drag of his tongue.
I bite back a moan, fighting to maintain that I’m still the one in control, when my body is screaming at me to hand it all over to Rafael and let him ruin me in the way only he can.
Strong, skilled fingers hook into my panties and pull them aside. The air hits my clit, sending it into a desperate throb. The first swipe of his tongue over it has my balance wavering and my inner thighs trembling.
Without saying a word, he lifts one of my legs over his shoulder. The thick bulge tenting his trousers makes confidence surge in my core.
He wants to do this for me.
He loves doing this for me.
I sink my hands into his hair, nails scraping his scalp as I guide his face where I need it.
‘Do it properly,’ I instruct. ‘Or I won’t let you put that big dick of yours inside me after.’