Chapter 42 Aurora
Aurora
One month later
‘Why the face like a slapped arse?’ Joe quips as I sit beside him in the small staff area in the garden.
‘No reason.’ I shrug, pretending to rub at a stain on my housekeeping uniform.
‘Is it because I’m heading back to university in two days, and you’re going to miss me?’
‘Yeah, that’s it.’ I manage a small smile.
He tips his head back and exhales towards the clear blue sky. ‘At least try to lie convincingly.’
‘What?’
He looks at me pointedly. ‘It’s been a month since your scary ex went to hospital, and you’ve not mentioned him, except to tell me he was okay. And he hasn’t been outside your place since.’
‘He went back to London.’
‘I thought that’s what you wanted.’
‘It was.’ I grimace. ‘I mean, I needed time but . . .’
‘But you knew where you stood while the poor guy was grovelling on your doorstep.’
‘Oh my God, I’m a terrible person who doesn’t know what they want,’ I squeak as his words hit home.
I did tell Rafael to go home, repeatedly. After I told him to let me go. But now that he’s actually gone . . . I hate it. I wanted to forgive him, I really did. But I also wanted to be angry at him first. I wanted to punish him for lying to me and hurting me.
And now he’s given up.
His car is never outside. He’s never waiting beside it when I get home after a shift. The flowers he gave me are all dead and long gone. And the shoes, handbags, and clothes are still in their boxes and bags. I can’t bring myself to wear or use any of them.
The only thing I can stomach is the photograph of Freddie that I carry around in my bag. The bittersweet gesture that he gave me, that I still didn’t respond to.
I let him walk away, thinking a part of me hated him.
But I could never hate Rafael Fairfax again.
I love him more than words.
I blow out a long breath, gazing across the landscaped gardens. We’re tucked out of sight from the guests here, but we can still see the rear of the hotel’s expanse of perfect lawn that leads down to a small lake with swans swimming on it.
‘Now he’s gone, I feel even emptier than when I first left London,’ I say.
‘Ah.’ Joe nods.
‘He said he wasn’t a man who deserves me, but that he would be. I thought that meant he’d be back again. But . . . he’s not coming. And I need to accept it.’
‘What are you going to do?’ Joe asks, swirling the dregs of his coffee inside his mug and studying it.
‘Any suggestions?’ I smile sadly.
‘Breed sausage dogs and get rich selling their puppies. Or hosting doggy parties for them.’
‘What?’ I can’t help but laugh as Joe smirks.
‘I’ve seen you looking at that photo you carry around, like a million times. Is that your dog? Did your ex keep him?’
‘No. He belongs to a friend.’ My smile falters. I’m not sure Kate would call me a friend any more, but I won’t know unless I go and see her. Actually see her face to face, not just the apology note I’d posted to her without my forwarding address.
Joe snorts. ‘I swear the people who stay in this hotel wipe their arse on fifty-pound notes.’
I follow his eye line above the trees as a whirring in the sky grows louder.
A helicopter comes into view in the distance.
‘You think it’s coming here?’
‘It is. We got briefed on it when my shift started. They don’t want help with their luggage. Probably travel with their own maids and butlers.’ He chuckles as the helicopter flies closer.
It circles the hotel, before lining itself up over the large, flat lawn, and hovering, preparing to land.
Joe jumps to his feet. ‘There’s a guy hanging out of it! Do you reckon it’s Tom Cruise? He does all his own stunts.’
‘Why would Tom Cruise be visiting Bath?’ I ask as I follow Joe to get a better look.
Management staff from the hotel line the edge of the lawn like they’re waiting for royalty.
‘Whoever it is, he’s either brave or stupid,’ I say as I stare at the suited figure who’s standing in the open doorway of the rear of the helicopter, holding on to something inside as he leans partway out and scans the grounds of the hotel like he’s searching for someone.
‘Or just cool,’ Joe says, impressed, as he grins in awe at the helicopter.
I stare at the man. At his rich wavy hair. At the way his broad body fills the open space in the side of the helicopter . . . His broad, suited body . . . complete with waistcoat.
‘Where are you going?’ Joe yells.
But I’m already sprinting.
I cross the lawn, getting as close as I safely can to the landing helicopter.
Rafael’s eyes collide with mine from the open doorway ten metres in the air.
His mouth opens and he shouts something, but I can’t hear him over the deafening roar of the blades slicing the air.
Joe catches up with me, stopping beside me as it lands.
It feels like forever as the blades stop turning and for us to be given a thumbs-up from one of the pilots inside the cockpit.
I rush over, a weird buzzing in my stomach that could be nerves or excitement. I can’t tell. But the moment I’m close enough to see Rafael’s face, it turns into knots.
He’s white as a sheet, frozen in place like his body has seized up.
And all I want to do is fling my arms around his neck and tell him how proud I am of him.
‘You don’t like heights!’ I cry, staring up at him from a couple of metres away. It’s as if my body can’t close the final distance yet, understanding that he needs a moment first.
‘I still don’t bloody like them. But not seeing you as soon as possible scared me more. Plus, it worked for Edward in Pretty Woman,’ he says, shaking his head and staring at the grass like he can’t believe what he just did.
I can’t help it: I burst into inappropriate laughter.
He lifts his eyes to mine and I stop abruptly.
The two of us stare at one another for a beat as warmth weaves itself through me.
‘It’s been weeks,’ I say, not caring how desperate I sound.
He’s here now, and that’s the main thing. He’s here, and he wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t to see me. Would he?
My stomach drops when he doesn’t say anything.
‘Rafael?’
His gaze roams my face and his eyes soften, but then he turns, looking back over his shoulder.
‘You can get out now,’ he says.
Everything around me fades into a blur as someone jumps down from the helicopter.
‘Dad!’
He’s almost knocked to the ground as I launch myself at him, flying into his arms.
‘What are you doing here?’ I sob.
His arms wrap around me, the familiarity of a hug I haven’t felt in far too long bringing a flurry of ugly sobs to my chest.
‘I was acquitted.’
‘What?’
‘Got out this morning.’
‘But I saw you at the weekend. You never said anything. How long have you known? How did this happen?’
‘I’ve known, well, I’ve hoped it was coming for a while now, love.’
‘I don’t understand. How?’
He squeezes me tighter and I open my eyes, meeting Rafael’s intent gaze over my father’s shoulder.
‘He did this?’ I whisper.
‘He did,’ my father says.
‘How?’
He chuckles. ‘The same way I’ve learnt he does most things. With pig-headed arrogance, and a stubbornness that I bet gets him into trouble.’
‘Why?’
‘You need to ask him that.’
I hug my father tighter, reluctant to let him go, but he eases back and holds me in place with his hands curled around my upper arms.
‘Talk to the man,’ he says, his eyes twinkling.
I hesitate, not wanting to take my eyes from my father for a second in case this is all a dream, and he’ll disappear if I’m not careful. But I drag my eyes from him to Rafael.
Butterflies erupt in my core as molten bronze shimmers at me with unconcealed adoration.
‘Is this yours?’ I ask, gesturing to the helicopter, unable to say what I really want to. I love you. I missed you.
‘I borrowed it from a friend,’ he says, drinking me in with his gaze in a way that makes my entire body tingle.
‘Generous friend,’ I reply, waiting for him to give me something – anything.
‘You look beautiful,’ he says.
I’ve been on shift since 5 a.m. and it’s almost lunch time. My hair’s pulled up into something resembling a nest on my head. And I’m pretty sure my uniform still carries the smell from the last room I cleaned that had a blocked toilet that almost made me puke.
I know he’s wrong. But I also know he means every word.
His eyes flick past me to where I left my father, then back to me. ‘And you look happier.’
I nod, emotion threatening to clog up my throat. ‘I am now. How did you manage it?’
He exhales. ‘It’s a long story.’
‘Why did you do it?’ I whisper.
‘Because it needed to be done.’
‘Thank you,’ I breathe, because there are no words great enough to describe how grateful I am to him in this moment.
He gifts me with one of his rare smiles and it’s like feeling the sun on my face for the first time in nearly two months.
‘You’re welcome, Aurora,’ he says simply.
I wait for him to climb down from the helicopter. But instead, he ducks inside and says something to the pilots. They put their headsets back on and start flicking switches.
‘Wait! You’re leaving?’
He looks at me, and for a fraction of a second I see the raw pain in his eyes, hidden beneath a smile that’s purely for my benefit.
‘This isn’t about us right now. It’s about you and your father.’
I shake my head, not wanting to believe what he’s saying.
‘You’re just going to leave again? I haven’t seen you in a month, and now you’re going already?’
The way he looks at me, like he wishes he could pull me into his arms, but won’t, wrenches a sob from my chest.
So much has happened, I can’t blame him. The months apart have felt like walking through hell. I know it was the same for him. Some things change you for good, and there’s no coming back from them.
‘Rafael?’ I breathe. ‘You’re done, aren’t you? With you and me?’
He jumps out of the helicopter, his eyes on fire.
‘No! I’m not done!’
He pulls me into his arms the exact moment my first tear breaks free.
‘I’ll love you more and more every day. Can’t you see that? I’ll never stop. This will never be done. We will never be done. I love you, Aurora. That could never be done.’
He cups my face in his hands, and I fist the front of his shirt.
‘But I haven’t seen you in weeks and you’re going again. I don’t understand.’
‘It needs to be this way. You need time with your father.’
‘I need you too!’
He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
‘I hope you listen better than I did.’
‘Wha—’
‘Let me go, Aurora,’ he says softly.
‘No!’ I weep.
He brings his lips to mine in a tender goodbye kiss that makes my heart feel like it’s breaking all over again. I grip on tight, holding him to me so he can’t move away. And I kiss him the way I’ve missed doing since that night I walked away from him.
It’s a kiss that tells him I missed him.
It’s a kiss that tells him I love him.
But most of all . . .
It’s a kiss that tells him I forgive him.
His eyes are misty as it ends. He rests his forehead against mine.
‘I’ll love you until the last beat of my broken heart, Beauty,’ he whispers.
‘And I’ll love you until the final beat of mine,’ I whisper.
He uncurls my fingers from his shirt with aching gentleness. Then he kisses me one final time and climbs back into the helicopter.
My father comes to stand beside me and we watch it fly away until it’s no longer even a speck on the horizon.
He wraps his arms around my shoulders.
And I cry the entire time.