Chapter Twenty-One – Olya
I paused outside the door to my father’s office, hovering my hand over the wood. How many times had I stood here over the years? How many times had I hovered out here, wondering just what I was going to say to him, worried about how he was going to take this request or that one? I had no idea. I felt like a teenager again. But what I was coming to him with...it was far from childish.
I forced myself to knock on the door; he didn’t know I was coming. I had figured it would be the only way to get him alone, to have some time to myself with him to clear the air. I could already imagine all the ways he was going to freak out, how he would rage when he discovered what had happened since he had hired the guys, but I couldn’t let that get to me. I wanted to clear the air now before I started to show, and the truth of this pregnancy was written all over my body.
Come in, he intoned from inside, and I pushed open the door and slipped through. Alex and Solomon had offered to come with me to this meeting, but I knew there was no way in hell I wanted them by my side when my father found out I had been sleeping with them. He would lose his mind – shit, he was protective of me at the best of times, when he found out that I had been involved with two men? He was going to flip his shit, and I didn’t want them to be on the receiving end of it when it happened.
But I appreciated their willingness to be here for me, even when things were hard, even when things felt impossible. I still couldn’t believe they had taken the news of the pregnancy so well. I had fully expected them to turn their backs on me and leave, and I had been prepared for what it might feel like if they did – I had been so used to the thought of being left behind, that I had just assumed they would do it the first chance they got.
But they hadn’t. They were sticking by me. Even Alex. Hell, he had been fussing over me every single minute he was awake since he had found out – making sure I had everything I needed, making sure I wasn’t feeling ill or tired or hungry, practically chasing me around to ensure that each and every one of my needs were taken care of. That distance he’d wanted to put between us, had fallen away the moment he had seen the possibility of this future together, and I couldn’t have been more grateful.
My father stared up at me for a moment as I stood in front of him, his brow furrowed, obviously confused.
What are you doing here? he asked bluntly.
We need to talk, Dad, I told him, wrapping my arms around myself protectively. He nodded for me to take the seat opposite him.
Is it going to be quick? he asked. I have a meeting-
No, it’s not, I replied, honestly. But it’s important. And I need you to hear this, Dad, okay?
He cocked an eyebrow, staring back at me, but then nodded.
Okay, he muttered, and he glanced behind me. Where are Alex and Solomon? I told them not to let you go anywhere without them-
I wanted to come and speak to you alone, I explained to him, my voice trembling. Because...because this is just between us, Dad, okay?
His eyes darkened. He could tell this was something serious. I didn’t know what to say to him right now, what I could tell him that was going to convince him this wasn’t the mess he would likely imagine it to be – I just wanted him to understand that I needed him, no matter how difficult it might have been for him to wrap his head around.
What’s going on, Olya? he demanded. What happened?
I ran my hands over my stomach, a comforting motion that had become something of a habit in these last few days since I had found out.
I’m pregnant.
There it was. His eyes widened, his jaw tensing, and he froze in his seat like time had ground to a standstill at the sound of those words coming out of my mouth.
You’re what? he muttered.
I’m pregnant, I continued. I had to use this moment of shock to get as much of this out as I possibly could. And...and Alex and Solomon are going to be raising the baby with me.
Them? he shot back. What do they have to do with it?
They’re...they’re the fathers.
What? he gasped. I had never seen him so shocked in my entire life.
I know how it sounds, I explained. But I...I’ve been with both of them, since they started working for you. And I...I’m not going to give up on them. They want to be here for me, they want to raise this child as part of a family, and I want that, too-
They slept with you? he snarled back at me, sheer rage taking control of his voice. I reeled back from him, withdrawing from his anger. I had known he was going to be pissed, of course, I had, but it was another thing entirely to be faced with the reality of his fury now he knew what had gone down.
I chose it-
After I paid them to take care of you, they took advantage of you, he muttered, rising to his feet and beginning to pace back and forth. I could feel the rage coursing through the air, his anger barely contained.
I should have them – fuck, I should have them killed for what they’ve done, he spat. My heart dropped.
Dad, no!” I exclaimed, my heart twisting at the mere thought of it. It wasn’t like that. No way. I...I wanted to be with them. Both of them. It was a choice I made, you understand? Neither of them pushed me towards it. And neither of them is making me stay with them now. It’s what I want. For me, for the baby, for both of us.
He ignored me. I could tell he wasn’t taking in a word I was saying right now, no – all that he cared about was the anger running through his system, the burning fury that was consuming him whole.
I have to get rid of them, he continued, shaking his head. I can’t trust them to stick around after what they did. I need to hire someone else, someone who can keep them away from you-
No, Dad, listen to me!” I insisted, and, finally, he turned to look at me.
I know you’re angry, I told him, my voice shaky. But I need you to understand that I’m not...I want them close to me. I don’t want them to go anywhere. I need them. I...I can’t stand the thought of raising this baby without them.
His jaw was still clenched tight.
You think they’re going to be decent parents? he demanded. After how they betrayed me?
They didn’t betray you, I protested. They...they’ve cared for me in ways you don’t even understand, Dad. They’ve made me feel whole again, even being locked down this whole time. If it hadn’t been for them, I would have lost my mind...
And maybe worse. I shivered at the memory of what had happened at the club, the sharp pain of it all too familiar. I knew I had to be more careful, especially now the baby was here. I couldn’t take stupid risks like that, I wouldn’t.
But I want you to be part of this child’s life, too, I continued. And, trust me, if you can’t get your shit together enough to handle the fact that I’m involved with these men, then it’s not going to happen. But I...I need my dad right now. I want you to be here. Every step of the way.
Finally, I saw something in him shift, his eyes beginning to soften slightly. He took his seat again, staring at me, and then let out a long sigh.
I can’t stand the thought of them...them laying hands on you like that, he muttered.
I know, I replied. But do you think that’s a problem with them, or a problem you would have had with any guy I got involved with?
He managed a small chuckle.
I suppose you have a point, he agreed. He reached for the glass of scotch that was sitting at his desk and lifted it to his lips. I was surprised that he wasn’t bringing up the fact that I was talking about keeping both of them around, but I wasn’t going to go questioning it. The more acceptance I could get, the easier it was going to be to navigate this.
I looked down at my hands, twisted into a mess on my lap. I knew there was so much I had never told him – so much that was rising to the surface now that I was pregnant, about my mother, about what it had felt like to be left behind by her.
I need you here, Dad, I continued, my voice cracking slightly. I can’t...I can’t imagine raising this baby without either of their grandparents in their life, you know?
He let out a long sigh and reached out to take my hand.
I know, he replied. I just wish your mother...
He trailed off. I didn’t even know what he wished my mother had done. Taken care of me better? Been there for me, at all, at any point? It was pointless trying to imagine what life might have been had she stayed, because she had well and truly shown herself to be finished with me the moment she had left me on his doorstep, and never looked back.
I do, too, I replied. Whatever it was, I knew I agreed with him. But...I need you here. I need you to support me. I want you to be a part of this family, even if it’s hard for you to accept that this is happening.
He nodded, squeezing my hand tight. I could tell he was still struggling with all of this, but the fact that he was even willing to sit here and hear me out...it meant a lot to me.
And to accept that Alex and Solomon are part of my life now, I continued, my voice dropping slightly. And...not as my bodyguards.
I’ll hire you new ones.
I shook my head.
I can take care of myself, Dad, I told him. I need you to trust me with that. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I...I have to know that you trust me enough to do this alone, without you overseeing every detail.
He sighed heavily, eyeing me, and shook his head.
That’s not going to be easy for me, he warned me.
I know, I assured him. I know. But you’ll try? For me? For the baby?
He let out a long breath but nodded.
I’ll try, he replied. I knew it wasn’t going to be as easy as that, of course – I knew he wouldn’t be able to just switch off the protectiveness he felt towards me, and I got that, I did. But I didn’t mind.
All that I cared about was that he was willing to try. Because, with the new life laid out in front of me, I knew that was the only thing I could ask from him – that he tried. That’s all I could ask from myself, too, from Solomon and Alex. Trying. Effort. Being willing to take the highs and the lows as they came, no matter what they looked like.
Thank you, I breathed, and he smiled at me. And I knew, at that moment, that this was the best I could hope for from my father – a chance, a new opportunity to make things right.
And I was going to embrace it. I wanted him to be there with me when this baby came into the world, and I wanted to build a new generation of our family, with him by my side.
A new generation. A better one. One full of love, care, and support – free of control and command. This baby had a whole world opening up right in front of them, and they didn’t even know it yet.
And I couldn’t be happier for them.