9. All mine
Chapter nine
All mine
Julian
I know it was too much for her. My poor little gorgeous bird fell asleep weeping. Even in her slumber, she was still having hiccups. In wanting to give her time and space, I’ve resisted visiting her for two weeks. I want her to lose her mind slowly. It’s driving her to insanity and the breaking of her spirit, that’s the fun part after all.
This time apart from her means I’m on edge. I keep myself busy by taking extra work, and also synthesizing and purifying drugs and hormones for when my little bird comes home with me. If not those things, then I’m researching her two ex-boyfriends. I finally found Jeremy. He’s a loner. There’s not much on him on social media, which means this kid is like me–not of the normal human kind, meaning it will be easy to kill him. But I have to do it fast. He can’t suspect that I exist or that I’m hunting him.
It’s Friday, so I know where they’re going because it’s always the same dance club. I get ready, making sure to look my best for her, wearing her favorite color dress shirt, baby blue. It's not the first time I watch her dancing from the darkest corner of the club. Tonight, I want to try something different, to test her.
When I arrive, I sit down at the bar, averting my eyes from the door when she and her friends walk in. She’s shy, so she only dances once her friend gets her drunk. Half an hour after, I see her walking to the bar where I sit.
“Dr. Michaelson?” she squeaks, standing to my right, shocked at the sight of me.
“Um. Hi.” My tone is that of someone encountered by a complete stranger. Yes. I pretend I don’t remember her at all.
“Oh, I’m sorry. This must be awkward.” She smiles.
“Are you one of my patients?” I respond to her glee by dropping my eyes to her low cleavage. “This has happened a few times. It’s okay. Just act like you didn’t see me.” Her happy demeanor melts, and I have to hide how humored I am by it.
“Two appletinis and a rum and coke.” The bartender announces to her as he slides the drinks over to her.
She pays him.
“Thank you.” Then turns to me. “Have a great night, Doctor.”
“You too.”
For the rest of the night, I watch her dancing with different idiots, and as she gets drunker, her moves grow more seductive. She no longer cares where they put their hands. She even grinds against one, only to pull herself away from his forceful grip and run to her friends. My blood only stops boiling when she’s safe.
It’s different to the times when Molly hung out with the football players. Astoria is not looking for their attention or approval. It’s just that in her drunken state, the music takes over her body. Most of the time, her eyes are closed and she loses herself in the songs. She’s also obviously needing a good fuck, but she doesn’t want any of them; she wants me. I know she’s showing off for me, and it works, because she looks magnificent, swinging her hips so fast all over the place but never in a sloppy manner, never missing a step.
Several times, I almost stand up to go get her, but I resist and look around, making sure no one sees me watching her. For a while, she hides from the guy that wouldn’t let her go, and her friends throw jokes to keep her laughing. Sometimes I can hear her over the music.
My drink looks like vodka with lime, but it’s water, so I can stay sober and observe her. At one point, I lose her. She’s not on the dance floor, nor with her friends at the table. Mindy appears to be cemented to Fernando’s legs. I search for Astoria. The closer I walk towards the bathrooms, the louder the screaming becomes.
“You little teasing whore!” a man yells.
“Leave me alone! I was just dancing.”
I know that voice filled with terror anywhere. It’s Astoria. What this idiot doesn’t realize is that no one else is allowed to bring out that pitch in her voice.
“You’re coming with me!” he yells at her.
“No!”
The guy opens the door and pulls her with him by the left arm while she's trying to pull away. I bolt, wrapping my arm around the guy’s neck. Outside, I bang the top of his head so many times that blood paints the wall. Astoria is standing back, looking at me with terror, her eyes tearful and her legs shaking but the fear is not allowing her to move. Behind me, the guy protests about the pain as he tries to stabilize his body while bleeding.
“Are you okay?” I ask Astoria.
Her gaze falls to the guy before it returns to me.She nods.
“Come. I’ll take you home.” I offer her my hand. Slowly she walks to me and places her forehead on my chest while her body shakes.
This is not what I wanted. I sigh in frustration but wrap my arms around her violently trembling body. It’s obvious that’s what she needs and wants. While trying to catch her breath and silence her weeping, she looks up at me.
“I’m sorry.”
Sorry? Sorry for what? My eyes get lost in hers. They’re dark, like an infinite night I don’t want to return from. I want to kiss her and then fuck her in the parking lot in front of all the other couples doing the same here.
“Let’s go,” I say to her.
We say nothing on the way to my car, or even after I buckle her into the passenger seat. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot the ghost mask in the back seat. Fuck. There’s nowhere for me to hide it. When I turn back to her I have nothing to worry about. She's too affected by what just happened and is writing her friend a text. Her lip trembles as she keeps pushing her hair back, and scratching where the guy held her. I can tell she's trying not to lose her composure.
“I’m sorry,” she repeats. The words infuriate me.
My left wrist rests on the steering wheel as I turn the ignition on but I don’t switch to drive.
“Sorry for what?”
“I’m sorry you had to do that for me. It’s my fault. I did tease him. I was just trying to have some fun, you know, but I took it too far. My mom taught me better. I know better.” She nods as she turns her face to meet my gaze. I’m met with black eyelashes thickened by tears, bordering her round big eyes that are begging for so many things, too many things. They’re begging for my love. I can’t give her that. I have none.
“It’s just… sometimes… I like to test the limits. I just–”
“Astoria, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. It wasn’t your fault, like you said. You were just having fun. Even if you grabbed his dick out of his pants and promised to marry him, there’s no justification for his behavior. Why couldn’t he get over one flirtatious girl he met two hours ago and just move on to the next, like every other single guy there?”When I turn my gaze to her, I see her mouth gaping with surprise.
“You remember my name. Y-you were watching me.” Happiness slowly fills her expression..
Fuck! This is not what I wanted. “Is that why you were dancing like that, because you knew I was watching?” I answer her whisper with one of my own.
She nods slowly. A little mischievous smile sneaks out from the corner of her lips. Oh… you are going to get the biggest spanking of your life, Astoria.
“I could feel your eyes on me.” Her soft, slow blink awakens my dick.
I look at her lips, which haven’t had any lipstick on them for an hour, and I take them into mine. It’s a fast, hard kiss with bites and the unabashed dancing of our tongues. She adjusts herself on the seat trying to get closer to me. I wrap my palm around her nape, pulling her toward me.
My lips. My tongue. All mine.
My fingers rake through her heavenly silky hair. I’m not sure how long it lasts, but when she starts panting and whimpering, I lose it. When I cup her breast, the unending kiss muffles her scream. She’s so sensitive there. Her moans increase in frequency the more I caress and kiss her. I break it off. We stare at each other while catching our breath.
“This can’t be.” I shake my head, at a loss for what’s happening, and what to do about it. She really is attracted to me. She really wants me. It’s all so confusing to me. Can she not see, even in her subconscious, that I’m not the man she wants me to be?
“C-can’t be? Why not? I can get another doctor.” It takes everything for me not to laugh at her little revolution against society’s bullshit. I love it. She wants me and she will not let anything stand in her way, except me.
I start driving. “What’s your address?”
Her disappointment sweeps out with her long, heavy breath and after some silence, she tells me her address. We don’t speak another word until I park in front of her house.
“Thanks for the ride.” She unlocks the seat belt and opens the door.
“Astoria,” I call from my seat.
“Yes?” The tip of her tongue sweeps between her lips.
“Drink a lot of water.” As I watch the pain from my rejection spread on her face, the words blurt out of me. “I’m sorry.”
“No. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. It won’t happen again. I promise.”
If only she knew how much I want her, but not the way she’d welcome it. I want to force myself on her until she has no choice but to crave it. I want her to love the real me enough to give up everything, her body, her life, her dignity, her sanity. All of it.
I’m not some pretty, rich boy who comes to save her from rapists. I’m not the fucking hero. I’m her biggest nightmare. I am her rapist and that’s who I want her to be in love with. I want her to be a slave for me to use and abuse in every way possible.
In the parking lot of a convenience store about five blocks away from her place, I change into my black jeans and T-shirt, and think to myself that I need another car for when I visit her in the middle of the night. I’ll get one for next time. When I get to her house, the door is unlocked. I suck my teeth and roll my eyes. Again with this? At least the back door is closed this time.
When it dawns on me, my rage flares. Maybe she left the door open for the prince charming she thought she was kissing in the car, for the hero she yearns so much. Un fucking believable. It's the first time I test her, and she failed miserably. I could snap her neck right now.