10. Mine
Chapter ten
Mine
Astoria
I don't look back as I walk into my house. What the hell is wrong with men? I dance my head off, teasing him, then kiss him until I feel my soul leave me and he still rejects me? The anger is good because it numbs the pain, the hopelessness.
Inside, I go straight into the shower, wanting to wash the sweat off my body and burn away every memory of this night. But as soon as the steaming water wets my skin, the only thing that evaporates is my anger, leaving me with everything else. Truth is, I don’t know what I was thinking. He’s a doctor who obviously comes from a higher class than I do. He looks and dresses like a god. Why I would think he’d want me is a mystery. But it still stings, more than the usual rejection. Why?
God, that kiss. I’ve never been kissed like that. I would've fucked him in the car. The long hot shower almost numbs my embarrassment and destroyed ego. It’s only toward the end that I realize that it is not his rejection that saddens me. I’m sad because I’m tired of being so alone and only attracting sick assholes. The last few weeks with Julian stalking and controlling me then disappearing, leaving me constantly expecting him to pop out of nowhere haven’t helped. I have no one to help me out of his sticky, dark cobweb, no one to protect me from him. The fact that I come every time he does all these things to me… I hate it. I hate him but more than anything, I hate myself.
By the time I get out, I’m dizzy and barely keeping myself from toppling. I need to lie down. In the past when I’d get like this after a hot shower, Mom would tell me it was because my blood pressure dropped. I’m almost at the bed when I feel a hard push on my shoulder blade. It winds me and I fall onto the mattress face down.
After that rejection, I don’t care what Julian does to me tonight. In fact, I crave horrible punishment for my idiocy with Dr. Michaelson. I must have looked pathetic and desperate.That’s why I left the door open. Julian has made it clear that doors can’t keep him away, anyway. Maybe he can spank out my craving for Dr. Michaelson. I don’t deserve him. I deserve this, a sicko, hurting me.
Hurt me, please.
He pins me to the bed, his palm on my spine, yanks the towel off, and spanks me. I hold my breath while grinding my teeth, fist the sheets, wincing at the sting. Every time, I involuntarily lift my butt, trying to escape the next burning. The tears are quick and many, like when Mom used to beat me, like the last time he visited.One thing Julian doesn't know is that my tears are not only about him or this spanking. But I can't deny it, the physical pain is unbearable. It’s so much worse than I remember.
I can’t take it.The scream rips out of me after two more slaps. My skin burns; I swear it’s about to break and bleed. He ignores my wailing, and continues. His hold digs into my skin, putting too much pressure on my nerves and veins. He must have seen me come out of his car. It doesn’t take a genius to know he’s punishing me for bringing another man home. He probably thinks it was a date.
“I’m sorry!” I finally scream while sobbing.
“What are you sorry for? Dancing like a whore? Kissing guys in cars? Bringing them home? Which is it Astoria?"
My eyes snap open with shock. He was there. He was watching me the whole time. "For everything."
"No one's gonna love you like I do!” His words ring in my ear.
I cower away, realizing the extent of his anger. Like he does? I don’t have time to fully process his words. The smacking is now leaving an unbearable burning that pulses through my skin. I'm desperate so I just agree with him. "I know."
Spank. "You're mine."
No! My toes dig into the carpet, trying to pull away even though it’s only granting me more pain. He keeps hitting me on the same spot. I’ll take a hit anywhere else but there. “Please, stop. Please. Julia–n!”
Spank. "You're fucking mine. Say it.”Spank. "Mine." Spank. "Mine." Spank. "All fucking mine! Stop acting like you're not!" he screams. "Say it!" Spank. "Fucking sa–y i–t! Spank. Spank. Spank. He keeps repeating it louder with every smacking, the extent of his psychotic behavior terrifying me. How much worse will it get?
I don't want to say that I'm his because I don't want it to be true. I just want to be loved by someone who's nice. I've never had that. Instead, I always get this, sickos who want to use me. It's all I've ever known. My words are trembling and jumbled together because I'm a blubbering mess, tears and snot mixing. “I'm sorry. I’m a dirty whore." I try to withstand another smack but I can't. "I'm yours.”
“You need me to fuck you.”
Oh no, he's going to rape me. Please God no. “No! No, don’t do it, Julian, please. I'm yours I promise.” Terror and desperation ring in my every syllable. “I’m a cheap, fucking whore. I’m sorry.”
“And what do whores do, Astoria?”
“No. I can’t. Please don’t do it. Please, Julian, not you too.”My words seems to get through to him because he stops hitting and screaming at me. He does nothing but pant while I try to calm my weeping.
“I brought you another gift. Do you like that I bring you a gift every time I visit you, baby?” he whispers into my ear.
A wet rubber slowly slides between my butt cheeks, and dread fills every corner of my being, silencing me. No way would I survive being raped in the ass. The shock consumes all my logic, and I pull so hard that every bone in my body hurts, but I have no strength to escape. It touches the entrance to my pussy. I feel the length of it against my leg. It’s almost the length of my thigh. Terror grips my chest.
“Here's your gift. This should calm the filthy slut you are”
I gasp and forget to breathe. The dildo builds pressure as it stuffs me, expanding me too deep already. “Julian…” How can I speak some sense into this deranged psycho?He fucks me with it. All my muscles tense.
“You want it, whore.”
I am a whore. That’s why I want Dr. Michaelson so badly. That’s why my eyes roll back and I release an ah with a breath as the dildo slides in and out of me. I want those fingers massaging my insides again. I want his concerned expression, like he cares. It was the same facial expression he had before he almost killed that guy.
“Play with yourself like the whore you are.”
He sinks it too deep, so that every time it slides out, I dread it sweeping back in, because it’s too fat and long. It steals my breath away.
“Julian, stop. Please, stop,” I yell and arch my back.
Instead of listening to me, he thrusts it again and again at a speed I can’t comprehend. “Oh God,” I pant after an ear-piercing screech, not knowing what to do with myself, where to go, what to say. I lose all thought.
“I said touch yourself.”
Quickly, I fold my arms under, separate my pussy lips, finding myself incomprehensibly soaking wet, and stroke at my stiff clit. It takes seconds before the pleasure overwhelms me, pushing my eyes to the back, my eyelids closing.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”The word comes out in puffs of breath. My moans ooze pleasure.
“Yeah. That’s right, fuck it,” he commands me.
I can't believe what he's expecting of me. My only response is another whimper.
“Astoria,” he warns in a terrifying growl.
I open my legs, dig my toes into the carpet and bounce, my pussy crashing down on his fist holding the dildo. The fucking takes so much effort and concentration, especially because he keeps pushing it deeper and I know he won’t approve of me stopping. The flicking of my own clit becomes an automatic motion that my mind controls subconsciously, making it even more delicious.The incoming climax is already so intense that I’m scared I’m going to die from it. I wince. My insides clench onto the dildo. The course ridges on it hurt my walls. I sound as if I’m choking, but I can’t help it.
There’s no more room inside me, yet it slips deeper. Brutal ripples of pleasure tear my entire body apart, shaking wails and fat tears out of me. I stand with my legs fully extended on the tip of my toes, quaking violently, pulling away from the dildo as he slams it into me at the fastest speed. Everything is incomprehensible. Saliva slips out of my mouth because I’ve forgotten to swallow. I’m the definition of ugly crying as my hips swing, unable to take anymore.I know what he wants. He wants my body to gush like the first time.It's why he will continue shoving it into me and there’s nothing I can do to dissuade him.
“Ju–Ahhh!” My shaking, loud cry fills the room. “Please. Please. Please.” I’m going to have a heart attack. My body is moving chaotically on its own, contracting, trying everything to run away from the intensity of still being fucked so savagely after a climax.
It's just pure pain now.I'm on the verge of losing my mind. He stops, releases me, and I collapse on the bed then slide off.
“Okay, little bird. Okay. I forgive you.” I'm not fully present but, I know it’s the first time he calls me little bird tonight.
I want to believe this means I’ve paid for my sins, but I know better.The dildo remains deep inside me. The room fills with the sound of my long desperate gasps for air while I kneel beside the bed as if I were praying. Perhaps that's what I should do, attempt to pray him away. Instead, I’m sobbing violently, running away from reality in my mind and failing miserably. "Please." In my debilitated, dizzy state, an overwhelming need for comfort and reassurance adds to my torture. “Julian, please. Please... I–can’t,” I manage to whisper between my trembling breath and weeping.
Julian walks around the bed. When I finally lift my cheek from the mattress it's as if time slows down. He unbuckles his belt, and allows his unbuttoned pants and his underwear to fall. Then takes off his T-shirt. I'm frozen by the terror but also the beauty. The man is pure muscle and his cock... There’s a tattoo of an anatomical heart on his chest. I’m mesmerized by it and can’t look away. Did he get it because he doesn’t really have one? As my eyes travel down the length of him, I swallow deep.There's no way I will survive.
He climbs onto the bed, still wearing the mask he always wears. Time returns to its normal speed and I back away.Within seconds, he's kneeling over the edge, looking down at me. “You’ll take whatever I give and however much of it I give you. Come here,” he growls. He drags me by my upper arms onto the bed.
I scream with all my might, trying to pull free, dreading what he will put me through next while my pussy still throbs around the girth of the come-covered dildo.I yelp as he drags me closer, until he's on his shins and my mouth is inches away from his balls.My gaze moves up to meet his. Two black holes stare back at me as he jerks his dick.
"Julian. Please don't hurt me. I beg you."
I taste the wet saltiness on the tip of his cock as he slides it on my lips. He’s only rubbed the tip on my lips before. I thought that was disgusting but I guess there's always a worse hell to experience. So when he shoves it into my mouth and it reaches my throat, I’m paralyzed.
“Take it.”
I try to get used to it blocking my airway, but I can't breathe and I'm gagging. I push against him only for him to take both my wrists. He begins to swing his pelvis, fucking my mouth. I don’t want this. All that comes out of me is the occasional whimper and panting.
“I said take it!” he yells, pushing himself deeper and I gag even more.
He reaches for the dildo and fucks me with it. As he fucks me with the dildo he keeps repeating, "Mine. You're all mine. All fucking mine." The sheer force pulls my tears out. I try to run away but that only pushes more of the dildo into me. Hoping to placate him, I suck his cock faster, harder while straining my eyes to look up at his reaction. The dual penetration overwhelms me into feeling as if I'm about to have an outer body experience.
"Mine. You're all mine." His panting accompanies his words as I suck him to the best of my abilities.
How can the worse thing that's ever happen to me feel so good at the same time? Knowing he’s watching me spreads an uncontrollable heat throughout me. I find a manageable way to suck his cock as it thrusts into my throat.My cheeks burn at the realization that my body is enjoying all of it. What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Jesus Christ… I didn't think you'd be so good at this.” It’s almost a growl, but the pleasure and words are clear. “Open your legs. Show me how much you love having both your holes fucked.”
I do as I’m told and fold my knees to the sides. In this position, the dildo feels twice as thick but it’s easier for me to swing back and forth by resting the weight on my knees. His other palm cups the back of my head, pulling me, wanting more. My clit throbs and I have to resist touching myself. I don’t want to confirm with my actions what he already knows, that my body is swimming in the violent ecstasy. The frustration from not satisfying my craving draws a cry from me, making him fist my hair, pulling it so hard it hurts. With his other hand, he pushes the dildo deep into me again. I scream and sob, not having expected him to be filling two of my orifices at the same time. With his dick deep inside, a shaking, muffled cry breaks out of me. He waits. I know he’s watching my reaction, taking me in. My saliva and tears wet his groin and inner thighs.
Of course, I push, scratch, and slap him. I go berserk, desperate for oxygen, but that only makes him move so that he can fuck my throat deeper. The pain becomes excruciating. I can’t take it. It’s like a punch to my throat with every thrust. I doubt I’ll be able to talk after. With such brutal force, my scratches automatically get more aggressive, drawing blood from his thighs, but it only increases his aggression. Black blotches float in the air, filling more and more of my vision and I lose all strength.
"Mine. You're all mine. All. Fucking. Mine!"
My heart is slamming in my ears too loudly.This is it. This is when he kills me. I’m taking the thrusts of his cock into my mouth, and from the dildo into my ever-so-willing pussy. He’s panting and grunting, sounding like a rabid, psychotic animal, using my holes to release his rage. He fucks me even faster, harder in both holes, until his cock, still deep in my throat, engorges, expanding me. I can’t breathe at all. By the time he releases me, I don’t have the strength to move.I’m only half conscious when his dick twitches, pouring into and overfilling my throat and mouth. I move my head, not wanting to drown on his come, but he holds me there. His entire body jolts, shakes, and he only takes it out when it’s limp.
Like roadkill, I lie on the bed, come slithering out of my mouth, and fall into a comforting darkness.
The rope digs so harshly into my skin that my own whimper at it wakes me. I swallow the little come that's in my mouth. When I open my eyes, I realize I’m lying on my back in the middle of the bed. He must have moved me. My legs are held apart by a metal bar. The more I try to close them, the more the bar separates them. Our gazes meet. I hear a buzzing sound before I feel the vibrator against my clit. I scream and my butt jumps from the bed, unable to take the power of it.
It’s too much, too fast.
No matter how much I pull and fight to get away, he continues holding the vibrator against me, then thrusts it into me. My legs are so far apart now I can feel the tendon on my thigh about to tear. "Jul–"
"One," his gruff voice sounds.
The vibration is so fast and powerful, it spreads through my entire body. There's not an inch of me that can stay still. My eyes flutter closed.
"Two."
My palms match my scream in pain from my nails digging into them. Pins and needles cover me everywhere.
"Three." I moan with every thrust and the climax crashes on me, through me so violently that it becomes unbearable. I came within three seconds.
He yanks it out of me, but my body still feels like it’s buzzing. For a while, he does nothing but look at me coming down off the high of yet another orgasm. Julian takes off the mask, pushes his hair back, and his pink tongue licks his black-painted lips. Goosebumps cover my body as I dread whatever is next. I stare at him through tears, begging him with my eyes to stop. I don’t dare say a word since I know none will affect him.
Julian turns me over and re-adjusts the bar up so that my legs are as spread as they can be. His wet thumb fills my asshole, pulling a loud, long gasp from me. "W-what are you doing?"
“Count, Astoria or it will start all over again.”
A slapping sound is followed by a pressure and sting spreading across my wide, open pussy.
“Ah––!” I raise my head, arch my back, pant and can’t help but pull away while squeezing hard on his thumb, trying to protect myself even though I’m fully exposed and filled. “One,” I cry.
He does it again and again, and soon the stinging intensifies and becomes continuous. There's no relief. My pussy lips throb and burn. I’m blubbering and shaking.
“Twenty!” I wail. God it hurts. It hurts so bad I want to die. I can’t stand his cruelty or how embarrassing it is that every time he slaps me I can’t help squeeze his thumb. While his palm is breaking my body, the humiliation is tearing my spirit apart.
“You want me to make it better?”
Slap.
“Twenty-one. Stop, Julian.”
“I asked you. Do you want me to make it better?”
“Y-ye-yes, please make it better. Please Julian.” My jaw is trembling so hard that I’m hardly forming coherent sentences. I flinch and hiss when his tongue sweeps to my wounded clit, then he sucks on it. I try to pull away but he follows me and his thumb starts fingering me.
“Julian,” I sob.
At first, his saliva stings my wounds but then it lubricates. Every lick, tug and sucking is hell because now every part of my pussy is swollen and raw. As the blood stiffens my clit from the arousal, my wails become screams that bounce off the walls but he doesn’t stop. He eats me as if he were on death row and I were his last meal.
Each thrust into my asshole feels like heaven. Everything is upside down; I gain pain from where I’m supposed to receive pleasure. Heaven and hell mix and as always with Julian, the brief illusion of heaven wins. My body tightens around his thumb, as if nothing else exists. The euphoria eclipses the pain. My moans synchronize with each plunge. It starts feeling so good that I lose the reason why I should hide my pleasure. I’ve never hated my body as much as this moment. How can I be getting turned on with the man who just tortured me?But I need it. I need everything he's doing to me.
“What do we say when someone does something nice for us?”
“Th-thank you. Thank you, Julian.”
"Who's pussy is this?"
"Y-yours."
"Thats right it is mine."
He sucks on me and fingers me faster. I need him to continue so badly that I don’t stop repeating it, ending up thanking him after every lick and filling. My asshole tightens so much I must be choking him and then the most intense euphoric waves roll from my clit and my ass to the rest of my body. Losing all sense of decency, and logic, I scream and rock my thighs, fucking his thumb, taking every last drop of pleasure.
"Th-thank you, Julian."
“That’s my pretty bird. Now, get some rest."